Numb
Syed sighed, He was sure he was at an age where he should have grown out of arguing with his parents about every decision he made but he knew his parents would never accept this decision. He knew his Mother would never understand that it wasn't a decision against them or against his faith, it was just who he was. He truly believed what he had told Christian, knowing could possibly go to hell just for falling in love.
"You will leave that man, Syed," Zainab was telling him. It wasn't a suggestion, it was an order. Syed knew though, that all she cared about was keeping her position in the Muslim community. That was her biggest worry. He momentarily wondered, even, if she was more worried about the gossipers than she was the fact that she believed it was against the Koran. "It is disgusting. It is wrong."
Zainab continued but Syed stopped listening. He had heard all of this so many times before, it never changed, it never differed. How Syed felt, what Syed wanted didn't come into it and he knew he couldn't say that. That would only lead to a debate about how he was putting his selfish sinful wants above the worship of Allah. Which he wasn't, but he knew his Mother would never understand that.
"You're not even listening, are you?" Zainab accused and Syed had no choice but to lie.
"Of course I am," he insisted. "But you're the one who isn't listening. I don't care, Mum, I don't care what you think, what you believe, it changes nothing," Zainab was about to interrupt Syed knew but he didn't give her the chance. "No, listen. For one get off your soap box and just listen to me," there was no mistaking the shock and even the hurt on Zainab's face at the way Syed was speaking to her, but he needed to talk. He needed to tell her this even if it afterwards everything would be exactly the same. "I love Christian."
"ugh…" Zainab exclaimed. Syed knew she was ready to go on about men could not love other men and how one day he would wake up and realise what he was doing. He didn't give her the chance though.
"Yes, Mum. I. Love. Christian," he repeated slowly, "And he loves me," Syed seriously wondered a lot of the time if he deserved that. Fun loving, easy going Christian, was in love with him, not seeming to care about all the drama and baggage that came attached to him. He still found himself a little shocked to think that of all the men in the world Christian wanted to be with him. "And whether you like it or not, whether you can accept it or not, I'm gay, nothing is going to change that. I'm not ashamed of it anymore. I don't care what you or anyone else thinks about it. It's not something that can be fixed, or even needs fixing. It's just who I am, Mum. It's just me."
"No," Zainab disagreed. "That man poisoned you. He doesn't know the meaning of the word love."
"Mine and Christian's love is no different to that of yours and Dad's or of anyone else's," Syed told him. "There is no crime, no sin in falling in love, but you know what, I'm done."
Zainab looked at him in confusion, so he elaborated. "I'm done, Mum. I don't care anymore. It's my life, I'm living it for me. I'm with Christian and I don't care whether you can accept that or not. It's your loss." It's my life, I'm living it for me.
With that Syed walked out, leaving Zainab staring after him in shock.
A/N: I don't even know. Don't let me listen to Linkin Park when I'm in a bad mood, stuff like this happens.