Me: Hello, everybody!
Aihoshi-chan: Hi Dr Seka!
Me: Oh, shut up.
Ai-chan: Uh... Yes. Wait a minute... Nah
Me: This is what happened to Organisation XIII when exposed to L1se and A1 for too long.......
Disclaimer: We, that's me and her, don't own anything.... Sob........ Ai: (hands Seka a tissue)
It was an ordinary day, until that knock on the door came....... Or rather, where the door used to be because the door fell over.
"Neee Seka! We found a... A... Really boring looking castle. I never liked white. WHOEVER LIVES HERE HAS TASTE ISSUES!"
"Nah, wait up! Who's that!"
The second of the pair ran up to a rather surprised looking Zexion, and proceeded to glomp him.
"Seka, leave the funny looking little man and let's find... What did we come here for again?"
"We were looking for the secrets of the universe," said the second, who will now be known as Seka 'cos I can't be bothered continually writing the second of the pair COS I'M NOT SECOND, GODSDAMMIT!
The first looked devastated. "I thought we were looking for ice cream..." who will now be known as Aihoshi, or Ai cos she can't be bothered writing the first of the pair all the time. She is, however, first.
Xemnas poked his head around the door. "What's going...... on. Dammit. Six doors this week. I wish Axel wouldn't keep burning them down to get to Roxas!"
"BUUUUUUUUUUUURN!" yelled Ai with a nasty smile.
"Zexion who on earth are these people?"
"Um....... Not actually sure, Superior. Ummm.... How about I go to the library and pretend I wasn't here?"
"Oh, no you don't! You're not getting me in trouble with the Repairs Committee again! I've only just paid for the last door!"
"Well how is my fault you damn- Ahem. Superior."
"Nice save," muttered Ai.
"WHAT ABOUT USSSSSSSSSSS!" screamed Seka.
"What ABOUT you?" roared back Xemnas.
"I'm bored. I wants icecream!" said Ai, successfully diverting the topic of conversation.
There was a long pause.
"No. You can't have any," muttered Seka. "Hang on..... I WANT SOME TOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
Xemnas didn't really know what to do. There hadn't been a chapter on how to deal with ice cream obsessed crazies in his 'Evil Overlord' manual. He cast about for help desperately and found.............. Oh damn. Demyx.
"DEMYX!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Seka. Demyx ducked, but still got hit head on by a lot of obsessive fangirl.
Ai looked vaguely embarrassed. "Fangirlism. I've had my booster shot. I won't get it... I don't think... Can it bypass a vaccine?" She went into obsessive panicking mode.
"AI!!!! HOW MANY LOLLIES DID YOU GIVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!" Seka raced around the courtyard, screaming at the top of her voice.
"Ah. Probably one too many..."
Xemnas turned to Demyx. "You're like this sometimes. How do we calm them down!"
Demyx looked a bit shifty. "There's always the water treatment........"
Ai gave him a eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil glare worthy of Marluxia in the morning. Zexion shuddered.
There was a splashy noise. And another splashy noise. And a third. The splashy noises continued for some time. There was suddenly a wave of water through the courtyard that left everyone but Ai completely dry. She still maintained her glare.
"That... Wasn't very nice," she growled and stuck her tongue out. "Oh, Zexy........"
"MEYAH! LEAVE ZEXY ALONE!" Demyx screamed, and raced off to where the blunet was standing.
Aihoshi frowned. "I thought you liked Xigbar?"
A panicked voice from inside the depths of the castle screamed, "DON'T GET ME INVOLVED IN THIS!!!!"
Aihoshi stormed into the castle. There was a pause.
"I think we should go find her before she breaks something. Or someone," Seka said finally.
(Insert evil, dramatic theme music here..........)
Xemnas stared. "You mean she could break another door!"
Demyx glared. "What about the others in there! They're in jepardy and all you can worry about is a flaming DOOR!"
There was another voice, this time excited. "DID SOMEONE SAY FLAMING!!!!"
"NO!" Everyone yelled.
"WELL STUFF YOU THEN!" yelled the voice.
"Fine then. Be like that then," sniffed Seka. "Do I look like I care?"
Demyx paused. This was girl territory. "Um...... Yes?"
"Neeer wrong answer," Seka yelled.
There was a cry of complete horror from the castle.
"That sounded like..." began Zexion.
"ROXAS!!!!!!" screamed Seka. "THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!!!!!!!!"
They raced to the castle kitchen where they found Roxas lying on his side.
"Roxas! What happened?" asked Demyx.
"THERE'S NO ICE CREAM LEFT!!!!! WHO ATE IT!!!! YOU'RE ASKING FOR IT, AXEL!!!!!!!"
Demyx helped him up and put a hand on his shoulder. "The entity who ate the ice cream is far more dangerous than Axel. Or even Axel in a bad mood. We're talking the FEMALE equivalent of Axel in a bad mood!"
"Well, thank you very much!" yelled Seka. "Um, Xemnas......."
"Yes?"
"Um...... I broke the door, not Ai."
"Oh. Okay. Thank you I think..."
"But she broke the window."
"WHAAAAATTTTTTT???????"
Roxas glared. "You're bothered about doors and windows at a time like this!"
Demyx nodded. "Exactly people could get hurt."
"Who gives a stuff about the people I meant the ice cream!"
"Waaaahhh! Roxas, I thought you of all people agree with me!! It's over, Roxas. I don't like you any more."
"WHAAAAATTTTTTT?????? No-one touches MY Roxy!!!!!!!!" screamed Axel.
"Um... Don't I get a say in this?" asked Roxas.
Seka gave Axel an eeeeeeeeevil look. (But not as evil as Ai's, note the lack of e's) "Bait."
There was another, more agonised scream.
"Uh, oh. Ai on ice cream..... WORSE THAN ME ON LOLLIES!!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!"
(Insert evil, dramatic theme music here......... Because I can't be bothered doing it myself. Note the times where we refuse to take our fingers off the keys because it reqquites too much effort.)
They all ran to the source of the rather girlish scream expecting to find Larxene but instead they found Lexaus KO'd on the floor in a puddle of cheese.
"Overdose of....... um..... cheese? Not what I was expecting....... um........" said Xemnas.
Axel stuck his finger in the cheese. "Yum! Wish I was on the end of that attack!"
Seka hit him. "Don't. You don't know WHERE that cheese has been."
"OR WHEN!" Ai screamed from somewhere rather random thet I can't be bothered making up.
Demyx fell to his knees. "We're too late! Lexaus is gone from us! Oh... How will we live with the guilt and suffering! How could we allow this to happen! How can we-"
"SHUDDUP! Demyx, he's knocked out, you twit!" screamed Roxas.
"Roxas, is that you without your ice cream fix? 'Cos you were never that grumpy in the game......." whined Seka.
"I will cut your head off with a popsicle stick," growled Roxas.
"Geez," said Seka camly, "What did I ever do to you?"
"... ... ... ... ... ... Who ARE you?" Asked Roxas eventually. "Wait! I don't want to know. Lets carry on. Before I die of icecream deprivation."
"Waaaaah Roxy! Don't die!" cried Axel.
"Do us all a favour," muttered Zexion.
Roxy did an eeeeevil glare (But, again, not as evil as Ai's.)
"Just............ hurry up already!"
Lexaus groaned.
"IT'S ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!" Screamed Demyx.
"I would never have guessed. C'mon, you lot, stop lollygagging!" chivvied Seka.
"Lollygagging?"
"No idea. C'mon."
(Insert evil, dramatic theme music here......... yawn)
Ai looked around. She hadn't wanted to set the nachomen on Lexaus but he HAD tried to squish her with a rock so she figured tit for tat.
(By god, that was a long sentence. Anyways.....)
She wandered down the corridor looking for something to occupy her mind. (Seeing as she had the mind of a five year old when sugar high that isn't difficult)
"OMG! PINK HAIRED GIRLY-MAN!!"
Meanwhile the rescue team (With grumpy Roxas in tow) were looking for clues.
"Ummmmm..... Ice cream carton? How about we-" Seka was cut off suddenly.
"YOU MEAN, EVIL, THREE HEADED..... UM.... STUPID PERSON! YOU STOLE MY ICE CREAM!!!!!!" yelled Roxas.
"If he keeps that up we're gonna have to tie him up," muttered Zexion to Xemnas.
"Great idea!" said Seka, producing mounds of rope and a chair from handy inside pocket.
The deed was done and they left Roxas tied to the chair in the middle of the hallway. A gag had been provided by Demyx who couldn't bear hearing the awful cries that came from Axel who had been allowed to continue but had to SHUT UP ALREADY!
"Ai! Finished yet?" screamed Seka.
"Naha! I is doing eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil things up here, so keep quiet for a bit!"
Demyx hit his head repeatedly on the wall until stopped by Zexion. "You can't afford to lose any more brain cells, bucko!"
They rounded a corner, and stopped suddenly to see Marluxia KO'd on the floor.
"This is getting rather repetitive," sighed Seka. "Hey, Ai! Be a bit more original, would you!"
"No. This is very different from Lexy's encounter," said Demyx seriously.
"Lexy?" asked Zexion jealously.
"Never mind," said Demyx a bit too quickly.
"What has she done to his hair!" yelled Seka. "It's gone black!"
They gathered around Marluxia. Axel ripped the gag off his mouth."Look at his face! It's horrible!"
Xemnas rounded on Axel. "She's not done anything to it!"
"Oops. My mistake!"
Demyx went into drama mode. "Another of my brave associates gone to a demon of horror! Their dignity wrested away by a sugar crazed fiend! Oh saa-"
"SHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled the rest of the group.
"Maybe we should tie him up," whispered Xemnas to Zexion.
"Another good idea!" yelled Seka whilst producing another chair and another large amount of rope from another inside pocket.
"No! Zexy you wouldn't let them!" cried Demyx throwing himself at Zexion's feet. "PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEESEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"
"And why not?"
"Because you love me?"
"WHAAAAAAATTTTTTT?" screamed Xemnas. "Nah, Zexy's mine!"
Demyx stuck his tongue out. "You have Saix!"
Zexion grinned. "Oh whatever shall I do?"
He then proceeded to hug AXEL!
"NOOOOO!!!! Roxas, I will not betray you!"
"That's okay," yelled Roxas from down the hall. "I like Saix more than you, anyway!"
"He's kidding, right?"
"No!" came a cheerful yell. "You failed to protect my ice cream!"
Seka put her head in her hands. "Oh man, I am so confused it's not funny!"
Axel pouted. "I'll get you some more!"
"Okay I love you again!"
"OI!!!!" came a yell from further inside the castle. "ROXAS!!!!!"
"Saix, don't like you any more! Go back to Xemnas!"
"Can we PUHLEASE break up this lil love fest and move on!
"Seka, I'm almost finished!"
"NO! Let's go NOW!" She yelled.
Basically, what happened was the love fest was cleared up, and we continued on, cornered Ai and found out that she had been chasing the ice cream because Vexen had stolen it for one of his experiments, at which time Vexen was mysteriously dropped off a bridge into the river late at night by an unknown assailiant.
The End.