I have been rewatching the Series and as I began season 5 I just couldn't stop thinking about the ending of the first episode, so I just simply had to write this! I will be returning to my series now I promise!

Losing Frost

Maura was so relieved when she had heard that Jane and Korsak had found baby Brian and they were able to make an arrest. Maura was just finishing up with some final paperwork, planning on asking Jane over for a late dinner when her phone rang. Since she was still the ME on call, Maura answered the phone, taking the information down and letting them know she would be there as soon as possible.

Maura was told over the phone that it was a fatal car accident, meaning homicide wouldn't be needed, so she headed out to the scene figuring she would call Jane and invite her over when she was finished up, figuring it wouldn't take long to take care of everything. It was just supposed to be a routine car accident but what Maura found when she arrived on scene was anything but routine.

As soon as she got there Maura could tell that something was wrong, seeing it on the officers' faces as they avoided her eyes.

"Uh Dr. Isles," one of the Rookies approached, looking both nervous and upset. "There's something you should know."

"What is it?" Maura asked, pulling on her gloves as she headed towards the body; the officer following along beside her.

"Well it's just that the uh…the victim was a…he was one of us," the Rookie stuttered, surprised when Maura suddenly stopped, feeling like ice was suddenly running through her veins. "He was a…he was a Detective at BPD."

Feeling her stomach drop Maura gasped, knowing instantly who she was going to find laying there on the pavement even before she saw him. "Oh…oh no," Maura rushed over to the body, tears instantly filling her eyes as she saw Barry Frost lying still on the ground, his head covered in blood; life having already left him. "No," she shook her head, kneeling down and placing a hand on her dear friend's chest. "Barry."

"I'm so sorry Dr. Isles," Another Officer who Maura recognized, but whose name she couldn't remember approached. "I know Detective Frost was a friend of yours. I didn't know you would still be on call tonight; I would have had them warn you if I knew. Should I…would you like me to call someone else in for you?"

"Oh uh..no…no I should do this," Maura shook her head, unable to imagine leaving Barry here with anyone else. "I will…Has anyone informed Detective Frost's team?"

"Not yet," the officer shook his head. "Would you like me to…"

"I'll do it," Maura cut him off, taking a deep breath as she tried to calm her emotions. "I will…I'll call them."

Maura was left alone then, the Medical Examiner feeling like she had no idea how to do her job for the first time in her life. She knew she needed to call Jane, but she knew how hard the brunette was going to take the news. Maura was barely keeping it together as it was and she didn't want Jane to have to comfort her when she had so much going on in her own life at the moment.

It was with that thought that Maura called Korsak's phone instead, holding her breath as she waited for the older man to answer. "Kor…Korsak," she choked out when she heard her colleague's familiar voice on the other end of the line. "There was…There was an accident. Detective Frost was in an accident on his way home," she explained, trying her hardest to keep her voice steady. "I'm at the scene Sergeant and he's…Oh Korsak he's gone," her voice cracked uncontrollably. "You need…Can you come? Can you bring Jane?" She asked, quickly assured that everyone would be at the scene as soon as they could.

Though she knew there was protocol she was supposed to follow, Maura simply remained knelt down next to Frost's body, unable to do anything else at the moment. "Oh Barry I'm so sorry," she whispered. "You have been such a good friend I will…I am going to miss you terribly," she continued even though she knew her friend was no longer there to hear her. "Can I get…Can someone please bring me a blanket," she called out, suddenly wanting to cover him up before everyone else arrived; taking a few moments to control her own tears as she wanted to be strong for Jane when she got there.

When someone finally arrived with a blanket, Maura helped get Frost covered up, still remaining by his side as she heard cars approaching the scene; feeling Jane arrive before she actually saw her. Placing her hand on Frost's chest once more, Maura finally stood back up, turning around to Jane, Korsak, Frankie and Angela approaching; her best friend looking at her with wide eyes full of sadness, clearly wishing Maura would tell her that there had been some kind of mistake.

"There's nothing you can do," Maura shook her head, knowing exactly how Jane was feeling. "There's nothing you can do," she repeated, wrapping her arms around the taller woman. "He's gone."

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They remained at the scene, the five of them, Maura, Jane, Korsak, Frankie and Angela, for as long as they could. Surrounded by flashing lights and officers and everyone else working the scene, the five remained huddled together, all in various states of shock and sadness as they waited for Frost's body to eventually be moved.

It was Korsak who finally suggested they head home since there was nothing more they could do there, Angela asking Jane to come back to Maura's, not wanting her daughter to be alone. Agreeing, Jane had decided to drive back with Maura since she had arrived at the scene on her own; Korsak understanding that the two friends needed some time on their own as he told Angela that he would take her and Frankie home.

Heading back towards Maura's car, neither woman spoke, both still full of grief as they got into the vehicle. Maura's hands were shaking as she tried to put the key in the ignition, missing several time before Jane finally grabbed her wrist.

"Maura you're shaking," Jane pointed out unnecessarily, keeping a hold on her wrist. "Are you okay?"

"I'm the one who should be asking you that," Maura shook her head, her eyes blurring with tears as she met Jane's dark, brown eyes, which were full of tears of her own. "Barry…Frost was your partner. You must be…"

"Frost was your friend too," Jane gave Maura's wrist a squeeze. "You don't have to do that Maura," she shook her head. "You don't have to try and minimize your own grief for me. I know you're sad too Maur."

"I just…I can't believe this," Maura slumped in her seat, allowing a tear to fall. "He was just...how could this…I never expected this," she admitted. "When I got the call I just expected a routine car accident. I was going to call to invite you over after I finished but once I got here…when I realized…"

"I'm sorry you had to do that on your own Maur," Jane said, taking the blonde's hand now. "You shouldn't have had to do that on your own. It must have been really hard."

"I just couldn't believe it," Maura replied, grateful for Jane's hand in hers. "I can't believe he's gone."

"I don't want to believe it," Jane shook her head, a tear falling down her cheek. "I don't…I'm not even sure what to do right now."

"We should go home," Maura told her, giving Jane's hand one last squeeze before releasing it, putting the key in the ignition without difficulty this time. "It has been a long day. We'll handle all of this tomorrow," she said. "For now, we just go home."

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As soon and Maura and Jane arrived back at Maura's, Angela was fussing over both of them; insisting on fixing them both a cup of tea. The trio sat together in the kitchen in silence, Angela hovering as she kept a close eye on both Jane and Maura, worried about how they were handling this whole situation.

It was late by the time Jane finally convinced Angela to retreat to the guesthouse; she and Maura making their way towards the bedrooms feeling like they were asleep on their feet.

"Could you…would you want to stay in my room with me tonight?" Maura asked when she and Jane were standing outside the guestroom. "I just…I don't really want to be alone."

"I'll be there in a few," Jane nodded, going into the guestroom to change into something more comfortable while Maura retreated to her own room to change into a pair of silk pajamas.

It was only a few minutes later that Jane knocked lightly on the door before making her way into the master bedroom, smiling as she found Maura already under the covers. Flicking off the main light, Jane dragged her feet as she made her way over and got into bed beside her friend, sighing when she finally felt the cool sheets against her legs.

"God this day has just been…"

"A nightmare?" Maura finished for the brunette, turning off the bedside lamp as they both slid down under the blankets.

"In part yes," Jane replied. "I mean it ended as a nightmare but for a minute there it seemed like it was going to end up pretty good you know? I mean we found Brian, we brought him back to his Aunt," she continued. "I thought things were pretty good and then…God…Frost."

"I know," Maura reached out under the blanket and found Jane's hand, linking their fingers together. "Part of me keeps wishing I could just wake up from all this and find that it was just a terrible nightmare."

"Yeah me too," Jane agreed. "We could wake up and Frost would be coming home from his Moms and tomorrow he would be at his desk with a grin on his face like always and none of this would have happened," she said, wishing it could all come true; willing it to be true as the pair laid in silence for several minutes. "Can I ask you a question?" She eventually asked when the silence became too much.

"Of course," Maura replied, still holding on to Jane's hand under the blankets.

"How come you called Korsak today and not me?" Jane asked, looking over to her friend, making out her features in the dark. "Earlier I mean, when you called to tell us about Frost you called Korsak and not me. Why?"

"I was worried about you," Maura admitted, still feeling worried if she was being honest with herself. "I knew how hard this was going to be on you and stress really isn't good for the baby and I just…" She paused, unsure how to really explain herself. "I couldn't tell you," she shrugged even though Jane really couldn't see her. "I just couldn't be the one to tell you. I'm sorry. I should have been."

"No," Jane squeezed Maura's hand tightly. "Don't be sorry. I get it," she shuffled closer to Maura. "Tomorrow's going to be so…how do we even go back without him there?"

"Well perhaps we should take the day off," Maura suggested even though she knew it would never happen.

"You and I both know we'll both go crazy if we do that," Jane replied, rubbing her thumb over the back of Maura's hand. "Was it awful?" She suddenly asked. "When you got to the scene I mean. Finding him like that. It must have been…I mean I can't even imagine."

"It's a risk of the job isn't it?" Maura avoided the question at first, a sure sign that she was bothered. "It's not the first time I've gotten to a scene and known the victim. It's just the first time it was someone who I was so close with. He's the closest friend I've ever lost. I don't particularly want to ever have to go through that again," she admitted. "It's rather awful."

"All of this is awful," Jane agreed, feeling Maura move even closer, their legs touching; both needing the closeness. "I miss him already you know?"

"I do," Maura nodded, unsure if either of them would get any real rest that night. "I feel it too."