Author's Note: First off, I know, I know, I'm on a writing spree of no return, but I felt this needed to be written because I'm beginning to get annoyed of some people's opinions. And, I'm not going against anyone; I just wanted to get my point across in a way… where all could see it and possibly enjoy it. I tried to tie humor to it, but the main purpose was to get my point across, to the point of where it was still fan fiction.

(PLEASE, no one take it personally. This is just Elphaba being herself and proving what she believes in a calm and civil matter.)

Disclaimer: This is horribly unoriginal, considering Pixie's piece where Shell talked to the audience, but like I said: it needed to be written to calm myself and prove my point. Also, I don't own Wicked… happy? So this is for Pixie and I do hope she doesn't get mad at me…

Dear Faithful Readers,

Damn. Damn. Damn. I've heard from a reliable source that some of you Wicked fans out there don't like the book… but still enjoy the musical? Is this true? How could you not like reading about my positively cruel and grim life from birth to death? Yes, it's Elphaba, and I'm shocked that this wonderful piece of literature did not fit your fancies…

What was wrong with it? You enjoyed the musical, right? Who wouldn't like a background story about The Wicked Witch of the West, right? But… then it confuses me to why you all don't enjoy a background-'background' story about The Wicked Witch of the West, or, rather, ME. In the musical, you get candy-coated fun and songs about me when I was a baby, then it skips to me as a college student, after that, it goes to me fleeing the Wizard's clutches, Fiyero goes with me, then Nessa dies, Fiyero gets taken away, spell time, and finally… I 'melt'. And all of that happens in a time-frame lower than three hours. Don't get me wrong, I like the musical too, but don't you think the book has a little more depth? There both wonderful, and if that's so, then why don't some of you enjoy the book?

I think that is insanity. INSANITY. The capacious imagery and metaphoric phenomena that is Wicked, takes hold of a batch of new lovers and taking them into abode of love practically every day. Just take a look there at your Wicked book: More Than 1 Million Copies in Print. Sure, it fails to mention how many of those were sold, but I'm almost positively certain that it was a lot.

The fantasy book that is Wicked, amazes people everyday, not just because it's a fantasy book (actually meant, but you all won't admit it) for adults, but because it tells a wonderfully brilliant story from the view-point of the antagonist, thus letting all believe in something different from what you've held as your opinion your whole life: That the witch was truly wicked so she deserved to die and that was that.

You've bitched and complained about the sex and the 'darkness' but let me tell you something, and let me tell you loud and clear: life isn't sugar-coated, even though the musical was. The book was more authentic than the musical will ever be. The whole point of the book was to show that even Oz: The beautifully colorful land as seen in The Wizard of Oz, has its flaws and dirt. It was to show that Oz is any normal place (or rather, a place that needs a little touching up…)

This brings us to the scum… nymphomaniac… and, the ever-going… suggestiveness of the book…

Like said before, it was originated for mature and older people. And of course you must have heard about the book's reputation, and possibly taken a look at the reviews…? Ahh. Here's one you'll certainly find entertaining:

"Wicked is a punchy allegory that alludes to everything form Nazi Germany to Nixon's America. It's delightfully over the top at times, missing serious metafiction with subtle humor and even (gasp) witch sex." —Boston Phoenix

As you can see, there were many warnings from reading it if you were not… typically attracted to books of the 'smutty' nature. And even so, it wasn't all that bad… Maguire could have taken it father, I would think… but he didn't… and, in my humble opinion, too bad.

Sex happens in real life, folks. How do you figure you were made, eh? How about… Liir…? Sex. Pure movements of body, or otherwise, action, into the form of sex… or… 'love making' if you would rather…

I'm sure you all are big boys and girls so—I assume with all my heart—that I won't have to tell you the amazing little story of the birds and the bees. Right? No, wait, don't answer that.

Damn it all. Gregory Maguire wouldn't be here, he would have made the book, which inspired the musical, if it hadn't been for sex! So get over it, and see that it's apart of life. And don't gripe about it anymore, because I sure do hope you all wouldn't have wanted me to live all my life without committing adultery at least once. If so, you people are animals. Cruel, cruel animals. And not Animals, either. No. You're the smelly soulless kind.

And, without the sex there wouldn't have been much of a point, would there? It wouldn't prove that Oz was as bad as your New York place in the 80's, right? No. you would still believe my home… was some sort of dream over the rainbow…

Tough luck. No place is like that, and there never will be.

Sincerely,

Elphaba Thropp

P.S. - Also, as my final testament to my case, I rather enjoyed the sex myself.