Hey there. I read on one of the forums that someone wanted a dark retelling, and this isn't exactly that, but I couldn't resist once the title popped into my head. This is a multichapter fic that's a sequel of sorts, but a lot darker and more complicated. Basically, this deals with how the people in Tangled became the way they are, slowly revealed through the afterstory.

So here we go.

Chapter 1: Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon

Eugene dug his nails into the rocks, pushing them apart. A chink, finally, and the sun's rays burst in, hitting his still-wet cheek and stinging his eyes. He felt a hand on his shoulder and shivered.

"Almost done?" Rapunzel asked.

She still sounded afraid. Of course. Eighteen years of Gothel could do that to a girl, considering the old lady's first familial gesture as his future mother-in-law was slipping a dagger between his ribs. People like that left wounds that couldn't heal with one make-out session.

He'd try again later just to be sure.

He pushed the pile again and his hand burst through. He threw his weight against it and bam, no more rock-door.

Eugene smiled as he helped her out. They were free now. This was the part where he ought to push her up against the ivy-covered tower wall and show her what it really tasted like.

Unfortunately, she hadn't heard the game plan. Rapunzel ran past him, to Gothel's cloak, spread out on the ground. A sob died in her throat, and she reached out, twining her fingers in the fabric. Frantically she raked her hands across it, smoothing the folds and brushing off the dust.

Nonononono. What was he supposed to do? He'd never even had a mother. Sun's teeth, he hadn't even watched a girl cry since—

Why was she humming?

She breathed heavily, then pressed her face to the hood and began to whisper-sing. "Flower gleam and…"

Eugene sprang into action, grabbing her waist, trying to turn her over, lift her up.

"Whoa there, not the best of ideas. Calm down and let's go to the Snuggly Duckling and you can sob about it and I'll let you try beer but let's think for a second here…"

He managed to get her off the cloak and into his lap, but her lips continued to move, tears running down her face and turning gold when they hit her shoulders.

"Shhh, it's okay," he stroked her hair and held her, before it occurred to him that they were sitting on top of her deceased mom. He stood up with a bit of difficulty, helped her down to where they just held each other.

She said something into his shoulder that sounded like "uuaaaaiiiiiiinnnt".

"Pardon?" he asked.

"New…paint," she said, then sniffled again. "She went to…get it…assa gift."

"For your birthday?"

She nodded.

He hugged her a little harder. "It won't make you feel better, but I can get you paint. I'm sure you'll claim a reward for returning the crown from the dastardly thief. We'll go adventuring. She can't hurt us anymore."

"She's…not ebben…"

Rapunzel suddenly turned, looked at the cloak, back at him, put her hands on his shoulders, and smiled through her tears.

He'd probably never get used to those darn mood swings.

"Sorry," she said, and wiped her nose. "I, um, have something to tell you."

"Yes, I'm perfectly aware my dying for you entitles me to the Best Guide In History award."

She giggled. Even with red eyes and nose and the most rush-job haircut known to man, he felt his chest constrict at the sight of her. "No, Eugene, really."

"Okay, shoot."

"I'm the lost princess."

His jaw dropped.

Why on earth did she have to do that all the time? Wasn't he under enough stress as a wanted man and thief extraordinaire without her constant life-altering revelations?

She could probably sense his thoughts withering like ferns in a desert, so her grip on his shoulders tightened.

"I didn't know until mother took me back and then I was so caught up in you not dying I forgot to tell you, I'm sorry, but that handkerchief you gave me helped me figure it out and she knew it too. She stole me from the king and queen."

"So the crown…"

She nodded. "Don't freak—"

"I know, I know, I'm not." Although he was feeling a little bit of a blow to his skill set there. He'd stolen the kingdom's most precious object and immediately returned it to its rightful owner. That made him, like, the worst thief of the eon.

"That's good, right?" he asked. "Life of privilege, all the paint you want with none of the guilt trips, family. That's gotta be good."

She nodded. "I knew the lights were for me."

She even looked like a princess now. Something in her eyes. Eugene wiped the last tear from her face, trying not to shiver as it melted into his skin and tingled a little. "That's great. Let's get you home."

Still, a little bit of him still wanted to go adventuring with her. No duties, no destiny. Now she'd have to leave him. He was a catch for a damsel under permanent house arrest, a dream come true and the love of her life. For a courtly lady, a sun-blessed princess, he could be nothing more than a somewhat shady part of her past.

He'd learned that the hard way, and whether he was Flynn Ryder or Eugene Fitzherbert, it still rang true.

"Eugene?" she asked as he helped her onto Maximus. "Are you alright?"

"Okay, you got the brush, pan, frog?"

"Yeah, but Eugene—"

"Relax. I'll get you back to the castle and wallah! New family, new mom with no creepy thing for your hair. Say goodbye to the freaky tower and—"

She laced her fingers in the hair on the nape of his neck and pulled. "Eugene!"

"OW!" Holy mother, were there no other ways to get his attention?

"What's wrong?"

"Well, you yanked my hair," he began, but stopped when he saw her face. She looked genuinely concerned. "It's nothing…Rapunzel. Just, I'm not Mr. Palace Life. I just escaped from the gallows there, so I'll deliver you, but I wanted to spend a little more time together. I mean, after everything…"

He trailed off. The horse was smiling at him, and that meant trouble.

"Did you think I'd go live with my parents while the guards chase you?" She put her arms around his waist and hugged his back. "They pardon you and let you live with us or I won't be a princess."

Anything he was going to say died in his throat. She'd…no one had ever…

For Eugene, at least.

Because, truth be told, neither of him deserved it.

He put his hand over hers. "That's…Rapunzel, I'd love to."

Before the "but" could come, Maximus bolted.

Eugene grabbed at the reins as that sunforsaken horse raced through the woods. "Calm down, boy!" Rapunzel shouted. "What is it?"

The glint of a copper breastplate caught Eugene's eye. "Guards. I know a hiding spot—"

"Please stop, Max," Rapunzel said.

Max stopped.

"Are you crazy?" Eugene jumped off, put a hand out to help her down. "Let's go hide now. I'm a mark that hasn't been checked off their blackest little book. The kingdom does not take well to that, et al. They've probably sent scores."

"Then we'll surrender."

"I already died once today!"

"Trust me," she said, and looking into those green eyes, he didn't have a choice.

The thunder of hooves shook the ground as a battalion grew out of the forest and surrounded them. Eugene threw his hands up. The captain of the guards approached, looked them over.

"It's him. Take them both in."

As they handcuffed him, Rapunzel cleared her throat. "Please don't arrest him before we get to the kingdom. I order you…as the lost princess."

Silence fell on the clearing, and it began to rain. The captain turned to her, gave her a once-over. Please, Eugene prayed. She looked exactly like the princess in all the murals. They had to put him through some sort of training for finding her, right?

"Forgot your blonde wig from yesterday, honeyface," the captain said. "Where did you pick this one up, Ryder? She's one of the closest-looking so far."

"I'm telling the truth!" Rapunzel said, but held out her hands to be shackled anyway. "My hair had the essence of the sun, it lost it today. Take me to the king and queen, please."

The captain ground his teeth together. "I don't have time for this. Put them back on the horse."

As two guards helped her onto Max, Rapunzel raised her hands to the sky. "Please! I've been waiting my whole life for a family! Haven't any of you ever had dreams?"

One of the guards raised his hand. "I vote we gag her."

And just like that, they'd escaped the frying pan and now burned in the rain, being led around in the mud by who-knows-how-many soldiers for one last homecoming.

"This is all my fault," Rapunzel said, her chains pressing into his back as she tried to hug him.

"No, it's mine, if I wasn't wanted…" Eugene said, then sighed. No use saying anything else now. At least they'd have each other for a few miserable hours. "Look, I'm sorry."

He heard her take big gulps of air.

Suddenly, they stopped. Whispers swept through the ranks. The captain rode back down to them, a paper in his hand. "It looks like you'll have another escort to the castle, Ryder," he said, and handed it to Eugene.

The words were all smearing off the page, washed by the rain, and as he raised it to read it fell apart in his hands. Still he caught the words "Lady of Dabney" and gulped.

It had to be some kind of curse. Set out to get to the castle, and everything that ever was decides to go wrong. Still, there was some good in this. The threshold had been reached. There could be no worse strike of luck now.