She sat the beautifully carved antique photo frame back down on her nightstand. Inside a picture of a small child smiled back at her, her dark hair falling around her face in ringlets. Her blue eyes dancing as she reached out at the photographer that had captured the moment. Spencer gingerly touched the photo before turning away.

"Three years old today…," Spencer rolled over in the bed sadly, looking at Toby. He turned to face her, his eyes not their usual baby blue - but dark, saddened. He nodded slowly and pulled her tired body to his chest. He hadn't forgotten, no, Toby would never forget the day his life became whole - and he would never forget the day it was taken away in an instant.

"Toby?" She softly asked, resting her chin on his chest, studying his rigid expression.

"Sorry. I just…" He started, shaking his head.

"..I know," She sighed and finished for him. No explanation was necessary.

It had been just over six months since their world had come crashing down. Spencer had given birth to a beautiful baby girl at the age of seventeen - she quickly became the highlight of her parents lives. Her name was Holly, carefully chosen to represent the character that had first brought Spencer and Toby together - Holden Caufield. Toby worked as a carpenter in the neighboring town of High Falls, Spencer finished her degree at Rosewood High with determination and perseverance, proving her disapproving parents wrong once more - and continuing on to Hollis, working towards a degree in interior design. They were happier than either ever would have dreamed. That was, until the incident.

It started as a normal day for Toby, Spencer, and Holly. Spencer had awoken early, starting coffee for Toby and kissing him lovingly before sending him off to work. She drank a mug full before waking Holly, and dressing her for the day. Toby had bought his girls tickets to see Disney on Ice in New York City - he knew how much Holly enjoyed watching the princess movies. She was his little princess, his everything. Spencer tucked Holly safely in her carseat before heading off towards the city, singing along to nursery rhymes on the radio and smiling at her little girl in the rearview mirror. She pulled off the highway at a truck stop to take gas - Holly held her hand as they waited in line to pay. Only for a split second did she let go of the little girl, handing the cashier her credit card. When she turned around, Holly was gone - it was as if she vanished into thin air. Not once single person in the sea of faces had seen or heard a thing. Just like that, Holly was missing.

Toby's fingers reached out to Spencer's chin, lifting her face slightly and allowing her mouth to meet the level of his. "It's not your fault," He said, planting soft kisses around her lips. Toby had reminded her of this at least once a day since it had happened. With those words, she started to cry, his arms snaked their way around her, tightly holding her against him as if she might be taken from him, too. "I love you so much, Spencer Jill…" He kissed the top of her head as the sobs wracked her body. Soon, he felt her muscles begin to relax, and a few moments later she was asleep. He reached out for the light next to the bed, gazing longingly at the photo on the nightstand before hitting the switch. "And I love you, Holly…" He whispered, as he did every night, before closing his own tired eyes.

"Oh my god, put it out, put it out!" Hanna squealed as her marshmallow caught fire. Caleb rolled his eyes and grabbed it from her - blowing the now charred marshmallow and slapping it on a graham cracker before handing it over to Hanna. Spencer grinned at the couple sitting across the fire from Toby and herself. They were carefree, it was something that she had missed desperately. "Thanks, babe," Hanna grinned and took a bite of the s'more daintily - a seemingly impossible task, but Hanna pulled it off flawlessly.

"You want one?" Toby asked, kissing Spencer's temple gently as he reached for a marshmallow and a stick. Spencer shook her head,

"Thanks, but I'm just not that hungry," She offered him a small smile.

Across the fire Hanna rolled her eyes,

"Spencer. You've lost a lot of weight. I demand you eat that s'more." She raised an eyebrow at Spencer, who shook her head again.

"I'm really just not hungry, I'm not trying to lose weight or anything.. I just, don't find it appetizing," She shrugged. The truth was that Spencer HAD lost quite a bit of weight - 15 pounds since Holly had gone missing. 15 pounds missing from her already seemingly too skinny and slender frame. She hadn't felt much like eating. It was just hard, nothing tasted right - and most of the time she would find herself emptying the contents of her meals into the toilet moments after eating. Hanna looked over at Toby, raising her other eyebrow. He shook his head gently, gazing longingly at his wife.

"Babe, just one, they're good, I promise, for me?" He stuck out his bottom lip at her, his eyes growing large and puppy-like. It was Spencer's turn to roll her eyes,

"Alright, alright, just one. I don't like them burnt though! Just golden brown," She said affirmatively.

Toby's pout turned into a grin and he stuck the marshmallow on the end of his stick.

"Good, we need to fatten you up," Hanna grinned at her friend, clutching to Caleb's arm. Spencer forced a smile back and shrugged, she knew they meant well - but it was just so hard for her to feign happiness. Each passing day, instead of getting easier, it grew harder. Toby handed her the s'more, and she nibbled on the edges - she had to admit he definitely had gotten it perfect for her.

"Thanks," She said, stuffing the last of it in her mouth. He smiled and kissed her lips gently, licking the remaining sticky mess off of them. She had to giggle at that, "Ew, gross," She licked over her lips as she pulled away.

"What? Tasted good to me," He laughed and placed his arm around her shoulders.

"This is nice," Hanna sighed happily, "I feel like it's been forever since we've just hung out with you two," She leaned into Caleb's shoulder. "We've been so busy planning the wedding that we haven't had much time for fun."

Toby nodded back,

"Understandable," he grinned, "Spencer spent every free moment for months before the big day on the phone with either the caterer or the florist," he laughed as she nudged his shoulder, "What? You were. But it was worth it. It was one of the very best days of my life. And you looked stunning."

She rolled her eyes at him.

"You didn't look half bad yourself," She rested her head on his shoulder.

"Oh, Spence, I meant to ask… Where did you get Holly's dress? It was just perfect, I want a similar one for our flower girl" Hanna asked in typical Hanna fashion, without thinking. Caleb stiffened and nudged her hard, Toby's grasp on Spencer tightened as he felt her body go rigid. Hanna looked around, her lips forming an O as she fell silent.

"We should probably go get some sleep," Toby offered, trying to remove himself and his wife from the awkward situation. Spencer shook her head,

"I can't avoid the topic forever," She sighed shakily, "I'll e-mail you the name of the bridal shop," her words caught in her throat. She stood up off of the log as she felt the tears springing behind her eyelids. "I'm.. going to go for a walk."

"What? We're in the middle of the woods!" Hanna stated, her eyes widening. Spencer ignored her, and took off towards the dark trail, Toby jogging up behind her.

"Hey.. hey wait.." He placed a hand on her shoulder, she stopped and crossed her arms over her chest.

"How could she ask that? How could she think it was perfectly fine to say?" She turned to face him, her face was red. She was angry. "How dare she?"

Toby placed his hands on hers and shook his head,

"Baby, no.. she didn't mean it that way, she wasn't thinking…"

"Well she should have been!" Spencer cried, trying to pull her hands out of his, but he refused to let go. He knew this side of his wife, and this wasn't the first time she'd become angry at the mention of their daughter. "Tobias Cavanaugh, let go of me!" She huffed, fighting his grasp. He shook his head,

"SPENCER. Calm. Please calm down." He raised his voice as he pulled the fighting girl into his chest, as if on cue she collapsed into his body, shaking once again with sobs. "Spencer.. I know. I know," He soothed, she looked up at him pathetically.

"What's wrong with me?" She wailed, shaking her head, "I can't.. I can't live like this. I can't eat, I can't sleep… I can't even have a normal conversation"

Toby sighed and bit his lip,

"Maybe it's time we talk to someone… a therapist," He brushed a stray strand of hair away from her eyes, hoping she would agree. She looked away from him, nodding after a few agonizingly silent moments.

"Okay," She breathed, "I… I can try."

He nodded, he loved her more than anything in the world. He knew this was slowly killing her.

"That's all I ask."

A/N - It's been a while since I've written anything - I hope you all enjoy this. Heartbreaking storyline, but I CAN promise some beautiful Spencer & Toby moments, which we all need desperately after the heartbreak of last Monday! - anyway, the end of this chapter was kind of crappy, and I apologize for that, it's currently 5AM. Why am I even awake