For What It's Worth ~hotsleekeyz~

Chapter 1

In Fear

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"I know that I am not supposed to feel like this. This is wrong Ginny. Harry's my friend and loving him more than I should is not right. . . and it kills me to know the truth", Hermione claimed as her tears flowed down her rosy cheeks.

Ginny sat there, trying to comfort her agonized friend. She knew she wouldn't be able to appease Hermione at the moment so she just stayed beside her and voiced, "Hermione, it's been hurting you too much lately. Don't you think that it's the time to end this---AGAIN?"

"Ginny, you know that I've loads of failed attempts to do what you want me too. I've fallen in and out of love of Harry but the feelings just seems to come back. It hurts me even more to know that I can't tell him about this--- the horror of the thought"

Hermione sighed heavily as she remembered the times that she and Harry had fun times together. . . all those years that they've been together--- PRICELESS.

"Why won't you try? You know, it's not at all too easy to be stuck up with such extreme emotion. I know the reason you wouldn't want to tell him about it is that you don't want to put an end to your friendship. . . and for once Hermione, I still love Harry much more than a friend but I see it's completely different with you. You've been like---INSEPARABLE--- and you see, Harry liked you before. If you try telling him then you'd be able to know whether or not he still feels that way towards you. You wouldn't know unless you try"

"Ginny, oh Ginny, help me! I've been overly confused about this and I can't do things right in class anymore that I can't answer the teachers when they ask me a question and things like that. I'm not this! I've become what a Seer once told me. . ."

"What have you become?"

"Someone molded out of the person I truly love. . . molded out of his own imperfections, mistakes and incapabilities and strengths and character. There are too many things that Harry and I have in common right now and it scares the shit out of me. . . Imagine, I've been collecting Quidditch magazines!"

Ginny let out a small chuckle with her friend's statement. Seeing it wasn't the time to act such, she regained composure and went back to talking.

"I'll leave you to your mind now Hermione. You think about it. The way he's been treating you lately is different from what he used to. Sure thing he would say that it's just some friendly shit but as what we've seen, there's something more with both of you"

"WE? Who -WE-?"

"Ron and I. Fred and George reckon the same. Ron and I told them about what's been happening with you and Harry, though Percy, of course, got in our way of thinking saying that we shouldn't conclude such, that fast. Have my word for it Hermione. Harry likes you. He still likes you. He just wouldn't tell you as he is also afraid that you will lose the friendship you've had"

"Gin, I really don't know. It's hard to assume anything, especially with a mind as hard to comprehend as Harry's"

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"Oi, Harry! Wait up!"

Harry turned around and saw Ron running fast towards him.

"Hey, what's up with you and that Hufflepuff girl?", Harry teased maliciously.

"Haven't I told you? I'm trying to have a relationship with her again"

Harry's eyes turned big at Ron's statement. He felt a huge lump on his throat in his attempt to speak. "AGAIN? When did the both of you have ANY relationship?"

"Just last week. It came really fast, I know. We broke-up after three days and I'm asking her to reconsider from what we left off"

"You know, you have one sick mind though I'm happy to see you're enjoying yourself with HER", Harry stressed as he eyed the Hufflepuff seventh year who seemed to be eyeing him back.

"Harry, I DON'T have a sick mind as YOU do. You've been out of love for some time now and you seem unaffected. God! How do you do that?"

"As you can see, LOVE, is out of my vocabulary. I've had enough of that. Besides, I don't need a love life. I wouldn't want one either"

Ron pushed Harry forward, making Harry almost meet his face on the ground.

"You brat! Who doesn't need one? You've been with Hermione more often than usual lately. Wouldn't that be called LOVE LIFE?"

Harry's eyes turned infuriated.

"Who told you that there is anything between Mione and I? We're just friends. Besides, I don't see anything wrong if we go out every so often. . . Such malicious mind you have Ron"

"The thing is, you ARE with her. From the looks of it, you've got something going on"

"Oh no, you stop now or I'm going to hex you"

Ron's hands blocked himself from Harry in defense.

"Okay, okay. But still. Harry, you really do look like you're together"

Harry's eyes sharpened once more as if he was a predator who found its prey.

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"Okay, I put you on the bet", Pansy claimed as she patted Draco's manly shoulders.

"Oh no you won't! You can't make me. Besides, it's the Mudblood we're talking about. This is not some ordinary matter. If you push me to do THAT, I'll have you killed"

Pansy let out a girlish giggle.

"You look cute when you're mad"

"And that's the reason why I hate my face. You like it more and more when I get mad---which happens to be every single moment of my life"

Draco shook his head and got hold of a glass of water.

Crabbe and Goyle entered the Common Room with their acquired sweets from Hogsmeade.

"We're here. We saw Granger inside the Three Broomsticks and heard her crying. We overheard the conversation with the girl Weasley. I reckon it's got something about Potter"

Draco just breathed on the statement, seemingly uninterested, when it hit him---

"Wait a second. You're not into meddling into that Mudblood's affair, are you? What's with you people?"

Pansy grinned exaggeratedly at Draco who had a questioning look on his face. "You know, it's something called the MAJORITY'S DECISION"

"What the hell?"

"Your two cronies and I've been talking about it. You and that Mudblood bitch would certainly look good together. And so, that's why we're putting you up with the challenge of asking her out"

"Asking that bitch out? Are you demented?"

"I believe Draco Malfoy takes all dares and bets. Would he be rude to himself and prove us wrong?", Pansy spoke as she flashed Draco her irritating puppy eyes.

"But---GRANGER? This is just silly. Count me out of it"

Goyle interrupted. "We heard that she's been depressed about her love for the Scarhead. It would be easier to take her out now that she would most certainly want to be happy. Come on. If you get pass through this---"

"What could be in this for me if I do what you want me to?", Draco asked cautiously.

"Since this dare is the hardest of all, and it seems to be a non- possibility, you will be up without my presence inside the Ministry of Magic when you'd be working there"

"I'll think about it though I'm not giving you my word. Come to think of it, it would be a huge relief to have your pug face out of mine"

"Er, Drackie, I remember telling you that I wouldn't bother you INSIDE the Ministry---"

"NO. Don't tell me you're going to wait for me after work"

"That's exactly what's on my mind"

"Forget about it then"

"I'm just kidding. Really, I'll leave you to your own peace as my parents will send me to the North after this year. But if you refuse this dare, I won't come along with them"

"Whatever"

Draco directed towards the door without another word as he gone annoyed of his company's foolishness and sheer childishness.

"Drackie babe, you're up to the dare?"

Draco stared back and let out an evil smirk. "Live to see"

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Harry sat alone by his desk and he tried his luck in writing once more on his journal.

But he seemed to be too occupied---occupied of thoughts of Hermione.

//I'm happy when I'm with her. She's happy when we're together. We do things together. We like almost everything the other does. She understands me the most. She affects me the most with her own emotions. I hurt myself when she is emotionally hurt or distressed. . . WHAT'S THIS?//

Harry shifted his eyes away from his journal that was laid open to a blank page. From afar, he saw Neville's penknife on his own desk. His eyes glinted maliciously and he stood from his seat. He took the penknife in his hand and clutched it tight.

He didn't want to let go of it.

It was his best friend when he was alone in their dormitory.

It was the only thing that comforted him, appeased him when he was not in control of himself.

The urge for him to cut was too strong. . .

He knew not how to stop it. . .

He did not even want to stop the urge. . .

He thought that he needed not stop it. For once again, he would be at peace.

Harry placed his right hand near to his left and pushed the cuff of his robe up with his ring and pinky finger. He laid the metal on his wrist---on his pulse.

With one stroke, Harry slashed through his pale skin.

He grunted in pain---

Just when the door opened and Ron came in.

Ron's eyes widened as he saw the excretion of too much blood from Harry's wrist. He ran to Harry and grabbed the penknife away from him.

"God Harry! What are you trying to do? Kill yourself?"

"It's okay Ron", Harry stated in a calm voice.

"What? THIS is OKAY when you're blood is gushing out of your body and you tell me it's OKAY? Goddamn Harry! This is just fucking stupid!"

"Ron, I told you, it's okay. I'm fine. You know that I won't ever try attempting suicide. Once again I'll tell you, this is just my adaptive behavior. It eases me from all my extreme emotions. I know what's deep enough and I won't go that far"

"You don't understand it do you? The more you do this, the more you make us lose our mind thinking what the hell you are up to when you're alone!"

"I can't really convince you to take my word but really, I won't kill myself. I love my life to put an end to it. I am NOT a suicidal, in the first place"

"Whatever! There' s that silly-looking scar on your head and there's the ever-so-lovely scars on the wrist. Right. . .", Ron said sarcastically.

"Stop it will you? Believe me, I won't go that far"

Ron's eyes started to have a hint of wretchedness. "You better stop before you kill Hermione"

Harry's eyes widened.

"What's she got to do with this? KILL Mione?"

"Yes. The more you do this to yourself, the more she suffers from depression, and the more she cuts herself"

"What are you trying to tell me?"

"Hermione cuts everytime that you do"

"I thought she does that when she's just stressed or something. I've never heard that she's been cutting because I have been doing so"

"Now you've heard, maybe you could stop"

"And why would she do it? I mean, what the hell?"

"You don't get it, do you? Hermione's in love with you and it hurts her to see you like this so she cuts herself to feel the pain that you feel"

Harry lowered his head morosely and shook his head. . . .

In a moment, his tears fell and his knees failed him, making him collapse onto the floor. . .

~Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns characters, setting, etc. Except: the plot is mine.~

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Wow! 9th fic in 6 months. And this must be the 85th chapter I've written, if I'm not mistaken. Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter and my apologies are to be extended to those who do not like the idea of the characters doing self-injury on themselves. It has some personal knack to it [my personal knack, that is]

So, it would be such an honor if you would go drop a review so that you'd be able to help me out with developing this story. It would be very much appreciated.

Thanks for reading! And oh, REVIEW!

~kaye~