Hello. This is my first fanfiction. I don't own Naruto or the characters.
I lied, I am going to make some adjustments to this chapter, mostly in sequencing. And I hope it all makes the pacing feel more smooth. So for anyone new, I hope the story feels, real. If someone is magically rereading, it's all there, just rearranged. Thank you for taking the time to read.
- B
Uzumaki Naruto, should have, for all intents and purposes, been on cloud nine. And he was, in a sense. He was finally getting the recognition he had long dreamed of from the villagers of Konoha. In between rebuilding efforts, celebrations had been occurring throughout the week and things were just beginning to go back to some semblance of normal.
When he wasn't celebrating with villagers or putting in time toward reconstruction, he was doing reports and check-ins with Kakashi sensei. He'd also been spending time visiting with his comrades recovering in the hospital and checking on Sakura.
He was essentially doing anything that kept him around people. Not necessarily because of his typical sense of loneliness. But because if he sat around too long, he'd start seeing things behind his eyes.
He was happy that all had gone well in the battle, and that friends he hadn't even known were dead at the time had been returned to him and their loved ones.
But since the battle with Pein, on nights such as this, when he lay in bed in the solitary quiet of his apartment, the nightmares crept in. Nightmares of how close he had truly been to losing everything.
Scenes of what he imagined his master had endured, the shock of seeing the crater where Konoha once stood, the anger and helplessness he'd felt after being impaled by Pein's chakra rods, finding and then losing the ghost of his father, and Hinata…
He didn't want to think of it, but he did. He had seen it every night for the past week and it felt like seeing it happen the first time all over again. It didn't matter how it started. Every dream would turn to nightmare, and every nightmare ended with her.
Hinata's face dripping red, her eyes unseeing, blood pooling below her body after being tossed around like a rag doll. He could never get himself to wake. In his dreams, he tried desperately to close his eyes or turn away but every direction he turned took him right back to her.
Her body.
Her face.
Even worse, he was haunted by her words,
I´m not going to run away and I never go back on my word, that is my nindo. My ninja way.
Her recitation of his nindo before she was removed by Pein had left him stunned.
The reels of his memory were accompanied by a soundtrack of his screams for her to leave that went unheeded. He had never been so distraught at hearing his nindo.
The nightmares only ended when he felt the heat of an explosion and then he would open his eyes, finally, only to realize he was still screaming her name.
His chakra hummed with his unease.
Naruto rubbed his palms over his eyes, as if to push potential drowsiness away. He did not want another night of visual torment. But he couldn't get his mind straight. He growled in frustration and brought his hands down to his sides to pull at the blanket beneath him.
He turned his head to look out the window. Squinting at the brightness of the moon light filtering into the room, he wondered how she was.
Hinata! His cursed memory blaring. "Gah!" he yelled in irritation. Turning fully on his side, he yanked his pillow over his ear and pushed the other hard against the mattress.
Looking out, the blueish haze ringing the orb in the sky reminded him of the color of her chakra as it flared in determination against Pein.
So many things seemed to be a trigger.
He needed to see her. Needed to see the real girl that existed outside his damned imagination.
After the battle, he had been relieved to sense the presence of her chakra, to know that she had lived. But he hadn´t heard from her since that day. Sakura had told him that Ko had taken Hinata for treatment at the Hyuga clans compound. He had flinched at the news. He may have been a hero now, but for some reason he got the impression that he still might not be a wholly welcome sight on the grounds of such an old-fashioned family, who he had long heard whispering about him just the same as all the rest.
He just wanted to make sense of everything though. If he could just see her he could ask why. Why did she go out there? Why did she haunt his sleep. Because, it had been, yet again, another time Hinata had saved him, and he had almost failed.
Although, who was he kidding. He knew why. She had said it plain as day. They were the only words he never heard in his nightmares. He was certain his mind was protecting her words from being polluted by the terrors of his memory. But then again, maybe her words had been meant as a sort of comfort, before the end.
Yet, her declaration and need to protect him had unwittingly sparked something inside him.
It had been at a great cost to her. But in hindsight, her sacrifice had reversed the tide of the fight, and in fact won them the battle. Before, he thought that after Sasuke had left, and Jiraiya had died that he couldn't really feel much more sadness than that. Though he was angered at being captured by Pein, he had almost given up before she had arrived at the center of that crater. But to see Hinata, someone so sweet and kind, who had been one of the only people besides Iruka-sensei to give him the time of day before all this even started, put herself in harm's way for him…He had been lost. He was still lost.
Had he really done anything before that point to deserve such a thing from her?
Naruto was torn between feeling angry and feeling terrified that it had never crossed her mind to give up and run.
Hearing her nindo, his nindo, echoing through his mind sent a chill through his bones now. It felt dangerous.
He released a harsh sigh that reverberated loudly in the sparse room.
"I´m not doing myself any favors just layin' here." He said to himself as he stiffly rose, like the dead come to life.
"I need to get this out of my system. Tobi is out there. Sasuke is out there!" he gritted out into the dark room.
He figured, if he could just see her, in the flesh, it could scrub the blood-stained image of her from his mind.
Then he could ask her not to do that again. And he would feel comfortable getting back to work.
Or something like that.
Flinging his legs over the side of the bed, Naruto pulled his training pants up from the floor, put them on and slid on a t-shirt.
As he stepped toward his front door and pulled on his shoes, he resolved to go ask about Hinata in the morning. For now, he needed to punch something. If he was lucky, he could go work out so hard that he'd sleep without dreams.
With a pause, he stared blankly at the door and nodded, inhaling deep and releasing a breath of resignation.
He was Uzumaki Naruto. He'd fought Pein and battled his best friend. He would be Hokage someday. He could surely talk to Hyuga Hinata.
Her bandages were itchy and uncomfortable. Her mind, her chest, everything - bothered her.
Hinata had never really been one to complain. Considering the circumstances, she knew no one would blame her if she did.
It had been one week since the assault on Konoha. One week since Naruto had faced Pein and swayed Nagato to undo the devastation he'd wrought on the village at the base of the mountain. Hinata had risked everything to come to the aid of the boy, almost man, who had always been her biggest inspiration. And even though they'd won, she had failed.
She knew it had been a long shot, but consequences be damned. She´d spent most of her life on the sidelines of Naruto's life up to that point, while he bore the brunt of hate and ridicule by the citizens of Konoha. They'd all fought valiantly, but with such heavy losses and injured, Naruto had been left alone, on the brink of succumbing to Pein. Knowing that death was a likely outcome, she'd raced in, confessed her love, and fought with everything she had.
Like a fool, she'd thought.
Hinata had believed that Naruto would never return those feelings. She certainly didn't think she'd live to deal with the consequences of that decision.
Yet here she was.
Sporting freshly changed bandages over her chest symbolizing her embarrassment and failure. She sat overlooking the garden of the Hyuga estate. Alone, and just as uncertain and insecure as ever.
The memory of her admission plaguing her thoughts.
Once Sakura revived her, and the battle was won, she had been present long enough to see Naruto finally receive the praise he had deserved long before that day but reluctantly left to begin healing. She had not seen or heard from him since.
Her recovery was slow going. She had been under strict bed rest until just a night ago.
She had hoped that he would have at least vis….
:: cough ::
Hinata winced as her body lifted and her stomach tightened to absorb the shock of the cough. She fell back onto the column her zabuton was propped against.
Sakura performed an outright miracle in pulling Hinata back from the precipice of the dark. But at this point, Hinata felt Sakura had made a mistake. Why waist her precious healing talent on someone who had been ready to die. Someone who had not been able to do anything for her friend.
Sure, Naruto survived the battle. Yet her part in it changed nothing. She had been a gnat. Easily swatted and removed from Pein's path.
With audible frustration, Hinata slowly sat up and stepped off the engawa. Cautiously, she made her way toward the reflection pond at the center of the garden. Each step seemed to come with less discomfort.
Somewhat.
Coming to a large rock, she steadily lowered herself to sit, neatly tucking the hem of her clan's midnight black haori beneath her so that she could let her toes dangle above the water's surface. Hinata gazed at her own reflection in the pool, overshadowed by the light of the moons reflection within the pond.
Tonight, it gave off a soft cold glow. The color akin to her chakra enveloped fists when wielding Jūho Sōshiken.
Aggravation swept across her features as she slapped the sole of her foot at the water and closed her eyes with a sigh. Even her strongest jutsu had been no match.
But still….
She keenly recalled landing a strike. It had felt like a stroke of luck as opposed to a credit to her skill, but still, she HAD landed it.
It had invigorated her. Emboldened her.
But a one-off hit and persistence were not enough to diminish her chagrin.
Inhaling slowly, she felt her body's response to the intake, tentatively feeling for further weakness while she pondered where to go from here.
I really need to get better. I need to become stronger. She thought to herself. The lines of her face set into a pained expression, her eyes turned up, searching the night sky, hoping to see the light of the path she should take.
The words of Naruto's nindo, no, her nindo echoed brightly once more.
How could she ever begin to make up for her inadequacies? To repay Sakura? And Naruto…even if Naruto never returned her declaration - which she was not prepared to hear but so desperately wondered about. She didn't want that to stop her from trying to become strong enough to protect him. His love she had lived without all this time. That she could handle. It was his presence, his mere existence, that she couldn't fathom seeing gone from this world.
She needed to get out of here.
If she was good enough to move around then she was good enough to do…something. Anything but sit here and allow another day to pass where she felt sorry for herself.
She had to take control again, as she had done when she confronted Pein. That control had been liberating and she wanted to feel like that always.
Taking one last look at her reflection, she rose slowly from the stone, feeling her body's response at its upright state. A slight tightness pulled in her chest, just under her left breast.
I can handle this. she steadied her breath.
She slowly made her way to her room.
After slipping into a pair of lose black training pants, Hinata took a red obi from her dresser and wrapped it tightly to close the haori around her, hoping the slight pressure would alleviate the faint twinge.
Then, she was ready.
Making her way to the high wall of the compound's perimeter, Hinata glanced up once more at the fullness of the moon.
Closing her eyes, she felt in her gut for the presence of her chakra. It lay swirling within her, like the gases of a dust cloud in space waiting to form a star. It's ever present flow was almost forgotten these past few days.
Directing the path, moving the stream of purple that she could feel within, she leisurely called it forth to fill her center, and concentrated on the weight of it. She felt as though she was like the moon. Full and glowing, thrumming with the intentional flow of controlled chakra. It filled her, like wine being poured to the brim of a goblet.
As it concentrated, the energy grew brighter. She didn't need her blood limit to see or feel this in her mind's eye. She felt the power of her chakra forming a tight ball deep within.
She could be strong. Stronger.
At the peak of its fullness, her eyes opened into a determined glare and she tapped the bright ball of power, letting it explode into her extremities.
Pushing power out from her legs and feet, Hinata stepped back, and took off toward the wall. In a second she was up and over, and into the darkness of the streets beyond.
Thank you for reading.