A/N: I don't own Glee nor the characters within. Drunken drabble one-shot for miseradreamer; unestablished Pezberry where Rachel overhears Santana telling (Brittany/Quinn/Puck/whoever) that Rachel is as sexy as a teletubby and she decides to prove Santana wrong. Thanks!
By the way, if you were wondering why I hadn't been posting these last few days, I woke up on Monday to find that my story Droplets had been deleted for violating guidelines (with this reason: " ' ' " - descriptive, I know) and my account suspended. I suppose it has to do with the line in the guidelines that says you cannot post 'one or two liners', but come on. Droplets was my Pezberry haiku collection. Fanfiction poetry. Which ffnet specifically states it allows. But because they're "short" poems, I violated the rules.
But I'm back, and can once again feel okay writing on my ongoing stories because I know I can post them. :D Enjoy~
Coming upon the turn onto the street that housed The Lima Bean, Rachel realized that the three people heading towards her from across the street were three people she knew. Automatically raising her hand to wave and alert them of her presence, she huffed when she got no response. Quickening her steps, she was just about to jump into their conversation when her name caught her ear. Immediately stopping and ducking behind a large man who stepped in front of her, she waited for the trio to advance down the sidewalk far enough that if she shadowed them they wouldn't notice her. It wasn't very often she got to listen to Santana, Quinn, and Sam talking about her firsthand.
She just hoped it wouldn't hurt too much.
"...Like a fricken' Teletubby!" Santana asserted, throwing a hand up into the air.
"Which one?" Sam asked curiously, letting out a soft 'oof' when Quinn slapped the back of her hand into his abs. "What?" he groused, turning his head to look at the blonde, "It was an honest question."
Quinn shook her head at her ex-boyfriend. "Oh please," she moved her head in Santana's direction before back to Sam's, "S says Berry's as sexy as a Teletubby and you immediately ask which one? You are such a nerd."
...As sexy as a Teletubby? Rachel made a face, slowing her steps to allow the three to get farther ahead of her. One of those weird kid's show characters? Santana thought she was a Teletubby?
Anger sparked to life inside her chest. That was ridiculous. Rachel was not an effeminate anthropomorphical creature. And she sure as... As heck sexier than anyone inside a costume!
Yanking her phone out of her pocket, Rachel hit the third button on her speed dial, glaring at Santana's back until she disappeared into The Lima Bean with Quinn and Sam in tow. The girl didn't think Rachel could do sexy? It was time to show her otherwise.
An hour later than when she had supposed to have arrived at the coffee house, Rachel swept in; immediately cognizant of the hush that followed her arrival, she only let it fuel her large, confident smirk. Facing her direction, Mike dropped his coffee cup, Finn turned red, the bite of muffin he had been eating dropping out of his mouth, Artie stopped in mid-sentence, eyes widening, and Tina actually squeaked. Turning his head to look at her, Puck gaped, Rory swallowing audibly next to him, Brittany dropping her head as her eyes swept up and down Rachel's body. Sugar's mouth dropped open, as did Mercedes', Mr. Schuester's eyebrows rocketing up to the top of his forehead as all the color drained out of Miss Pillsbury's face with a quiet, "Oh my." Lastly, in almost comical slow motion, Quinn, Sam, and Santana turned.
"What is it...?" Quinn started, stopping in the middle of her sentence, practically recoiling in surprise. Sam sputtered, having to juggle his own coffee cup before he spilled it over his lap and chest. And Santana...
Santana had the most violent reaction. Her face went red, then white, eyes widening than narrowing, her body jerking as realization swept across her. Though Rachel couldn't see for sure from where she paused just inside the door, her arms had tensed so it was likely her fists were, and her tongue darted out to lick her lips, eyes traveling up and down Rachel's body so brazenly heat followed her stare.
"Oh my god, do you see that?" Kurt whispered triumphantly in her ear, "It's like she just came on the spot."
Ignoring Blaine's muttered, "Nice," Rachel nodded, her smirk widening. "Thank you, Kurt." Squeezing Kurt's arm, she strutted forward, making sure to swing her hips and show off her legs. After agreeing to try on the light blue distressed shorts and white long sleeved sheer knit top from Forever 21, brushing her hair out and letting it curl as it naturally wanted to do, cascading down in front of her collar bones, Rachel felt, legitimately, for once in her life, sexy as seen by other eyes than her own.
And Santana, if her expression and locked eyes were anything to go by, seemed to appreciate what Rachel was showing as well.
"I'm sorry to be so late," Rachel smiled as she approached, pouting her lips out, "But I had some... Things to take care of. And Kurt and Blaine were helping me."
Santana licked her lips again, for once not offering up a snarky retort. Instead, she shoved Sam out of his seat with her foot, succeeding in him finally spilling his coffee.
Mr. Schuester stared at Santana, who shrugged unapologetically, smirking widely when Rachel settled into the seat she'd just opened up. "That's... Fine," he managed, waiting for Kurt and Blaine to sit, as well as Sam find a new seat, "As long as we're all here now."
"Oh, Rachel's definitely here," Quinn muttered, and Rachel smirked at her. Running her hand through her hair smoothly, she turned shiny lip-glossed lips up when she noticed Santana's dark eyes focused below the table, on Rachel's thighs. "You see something you like?" she whispered, leaning over, breathing into Santana's ear as she tuned out whatever it was Mr. Schuester was saying.
Santana closed her eyes, her fists tensing on her own thighs. "What the hell are you doing?" she whispered back, breath hot against Rachel's ear, "Playin' dress up?"
Rachel didn't let that bring her down. "Doing?" she asked, licking her lips as she made sure Santana was paying attention, "Whatever do you mean?"
Santana's eyes darkened, and then, slowly, so slowly Rachel had to watch, lifted her hand and settled it on Rachel's knee. Her palm was burning hot, and her thumb was idly stroking Rachel's skin. "Are you sure you want to play with this?" she asked, nose brushing against Rachel's ear, "Play with me?"
Rachel sucked in a deep breath. "How..." she started, upping the ante by brushing her lips against Santana's ear, "Do you know I'm playing with you?"
Santana's eyelashes fluttered. "Because," she ground out, fingers tensing on Rachel's knee, "Who the hell else would you be trying so hard to impress?"
"Finn, maybe?"
"Please." Santana snorted softly, glaring at Mr. Schuester as he turned to look at her, fingers dragging up Rachel's thigh, "I know you're totally over him."
Sucking her lower lip into her mouth, Rachel let out a small breath. "Santana..." she whispered, hand settling over Santana's hot on her thigh, giving Mr. Schuester a small smile as he looked at her suspiciously, "Can you tell me you're totally not affected by me?" When Santana didn't answer right away, she stroked up and down her fingers, thrilling at the stuttering of Santana's chest she could see out of the corner of her eye. Who's sexy now? she grinned to herself.
Santana's eyes narrowed. "Who the hell are you fooling?" she husked into Rachel's ear, nails dragging down Rachel's leg, "If you're willing to put your mouth..." She smirked, sliding her hand back up Rachel's thigh to slip slightly under the bottom of her shorts, along her inner thigh, "Where your body is..." She pushed her hand even further up Rachel's shorts, making her shiver, "Then bathroom, five minutes."
Rachel dug her fingernails into the back of Santana's hand, halting her. "Why should I..." she trailed off, smiling at Mr. Schuester innocently, waiting until he looked away and smiling at Puck as he stared at her, "When you've never given me a reason to get that..." She stroked Santana's fingers, "Close to you?"
"Because." Santana suddenly bit down onto Rachel's ear, making her jerk and let out a giant breath in lieu of a moan, "You're. Too. Damn. Curious."
Swallowing, Rachel managed a sharp, quick nod.
"Good," Santana breathed into her ear, pulling her hand back, "Because honestly, Berry?"
"Mmm?"
"Ten minutes longer and fuck Schue. You'd be bent over this table taking everything I give to you."