Okay so this is a little au but I always wondered what could have happened at the end of season 3 if Beckett wasn't shot. Please enjoy!

Before she knew what was happening, Castle had tackled her to the ground, knocking her off of the podium and landing awkwardly on the grass. All she could hear around her was screaming, panic, everyone yelling to "duck down!"

Then the memory hit her like a freight train, a shot was fired. Where from? By whom? Who was the target and why today at Montgomery's funeral?

She felt Castle on top of her, his weight was heavy, restricting her breathing.

She felt a wetness start to soak through her clothes, oh god, she was hit, in shock, unable to feel the damage.

She began to roll Castle off of her, moving him on to his side next to her. There was blood, a lot of it, but no wound on her body, no tear in her clothing.

Oh god, Castle!

She quickly shuffled, rolling him on his back. And there it was, blood pouring from an exit wound to the left of his chest. Her eyes shot up to his face. He was still conscious, still breathing but his eyes were filled with fear.

"No Castle! Don't you die on me, don't you leave me!"

She began to clutch to his collar, stroking his neck and face, assuring him that she was there.

"Please Castle, don't leave me, please don't leave me!"

He began to make a noise as if he was trying to speak, his eyes filling with tears, overwhelmed by the sheer agony.

"Kate," she leaned in, his voice so quiet she could barely hear him.

"I love you Kate, I love you."

His eyes began to close slowly, the life flowing out of him in a crimson liquid that stained the earth he lay on.

XOXOXOXOXOX

He was still in surgery, two hours later, two hours of tears and wails from Alexis and Martha as they waited the fate of their loved one. Kate found herself unable to move, to speak, she just clung on to Alexis' hand, silent tears streaming down her face.

No news from the boys and Lanie had gone to fetch her a coffee, she couldn't think. The only thing remaining in her mind was the last words he had said to her.

Suddenly there was another hand on her, a tall figure lifting her to her feet causing her to loose her grip on the hand of the younger girl. This large figure clutching her in his arms. For a moment she thought it was Castle, wished it was Castle. But it wasn't. Josh began to walk her away from the group, holding her tight to his side.

"Kate I'm taking you home, okay?"

She pulled away sharply, unable to think that he really thought she'd leave Castle right now.

"No, I'm staying here!"

His features changed from concerned to angry.

"Kate you're exhausted and his surgery could be long, you're no good to him here, you can see him when he wakes up!"

That was it. "Of course I'm exhausted Josh! I just watched my best friend get shot, trying to save my life! He didn't leave me then and I won't leave him now! And if you think I would then you really don't know me at all" She began to storm off back towards the two redheads before hearing his voice once again.

"Kate, if you care about me at all you will come home with, right now."

She turned on her heals, walking strait up to him.

"I do care about you Josh, I just care about him more. Because he would never ask me to leave someone I loved when they needed me."

With that, she was gone from his sight and rejoined the anxious group.

"What was that about?" Lanie queried while handing her her coffee.

"Nothing that's important right now. Any news? Where are Martha and Alexis?"

"The doctor's just come out, surgery went well but he'll be out for quite a while, but overall they think he's gonna pull through. They both went in a minute ago to stay with him." A wave of relief flooding through her, he was going to be okay. He had to be.

"Kate, he's gonna pull through this. You should really get some sleep, do you want me to stay or are you okay here?"

"I'll be fine Lanie, go and talk to Espo, keep me posted with updates."

She received a hug from her friend, but felt completely numb, she just needed to be with him. Once Lanie had gone, she opened the door quietly and was met by the gaze of the older redhead.

"Kate dear, come sit, we were just going to sleep her, make sure we're still here when he wakes up." She pointed her towards the chair on the opposite side of the bed from them, Alexis was already fast asleep curled up in the armchair.

"Thank you Martha."

As she sat down she scanned his face. He looked so peaceful, younger when he slept, all the lines in his face absent as he slumbered in between them. She took ahold of the hand that was laying next to her, smoothing patterns on the back of it as she watched him sleep. Her concentration broken by a soft voice.

"He really cares about you you know. He wouldn't have taken a bullet to try for you if he didn't love you." She turned to meet Martha's eyes once again.

"I care about him too, more than I let on actually." Her eyes darting to the ground. "You know I thought you would've been angry with me, for putting your son in danger. I mean, I'm angry with myself for letting him get hurt."

"Kate, I know my son better than anyone, I know that if he didn't do this for you and you got shot - well I can't imagine how he'd react! And it's not your fault that this has happened, you weren't to know that some psycho would shoot up a funeral." The older woman's voice was so tender it almost reminded her of her own mother.

"He told me he loved me." She looked up to meet Martha's eyes again. "Right before he lost consciousness, he told me he loved me. And honestly I'm scared that I don't deserve him, scared that all my baggage will make him broken like I am."

"Kate dear, both he and I have known his true feelings for you for a long time. Baggage and all! You must have suspected! But the important thing is that you can't live your life being so scared of the 'what ifs' that you don't take a chance on something."

Her head dropped to his hand, kissing it lightly, she inhaled his scent as the tears began to fall again. The warmth of his hand giving her comfort. He was still here, still alive.

Her lids lowering as her exhaustion got the best of her and she drifted to sleep.