"Was your mother better, Remus?"
That was the question that met him, when he came back from the hospital wing the noun after the marts full moon. He answered vaguely. That way, he could use the excuses again next time, if he didn't come up with something better in time. He should, though, he decided. His friends was far too worried about his mother's health already, he hated seeing the concerned and pitying looks on their faces, when he couldn't tell them she was completely fine. He hated lying to them, hated himself for doing so. But it was for the best, of course it was. No-one would remain his friend, should they ever find out. He didn't believe his friends capable of keeping it secrete, either. Suddenly he saw the whole school knowing. Everyone avoiding him, letting him sit alone, freezing him out. He didn't want that. Even if he friends were as amazing as they seemed to Remus, and actually was able to hold their tongue and even if Remus had been willing to take the risk in thinking they was like that, he had made a promise. Both to his parents and to Professor Dumbledore. No-one was to know. Though Dumbledore had had that special look in his eyes, which seemed to tell him, that he wouldn't blame him if he told somebody worthwhile, his parents had been very strict. He could understand why. They had lost friends and relatives because of him, because of what he was. They didn't want the same thing to happen to him. Remus sighed. He knew it was for the best, of course he did. He wasn't stupid. He wasn't an idiot. Was it idiotic to want to tell them despite everything? It might be, it might not. I didn't matter anyway. He would never take the risk it would be to reveal himself, never. Neither did he believe himself to have the courage to do so. Sometimes he wonder why he was in Gryffindor, he didn't feel brave at all. But there was no point to these thoughts. Not when he knew with himself, that he could never remove the uneasy felling, that so clearly told him, that no-one would accept him. However, he also had a hopeful felling that told him that Professor Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey and Professor MacGonagall never had treated him differently even though they knew. He hardly knew what to think any more.
"Hey, don't worry so much, she'll be all right." His friends tried to reassure him.
He sent them a smile, and said that he hoped so too. He forced himself out of the long stream of thoughts. It really didn't matter, after all. He had made his promises, and he was not one to fail to keep them.