Chapter One:
Social Suicide
Rumbling the air, is cool, the sky has been threatening to beat down on them for the last three days, but still, it's cargo has not fallen. Truth be told, she wasn't sure when it started, but it had started during freshmen year. Her staring that is, odd purple amethyst eyes, had found their way locked glancing at the green lockers.
Bright mossy green, not like neon green, a bit of a paler one, but the lockers, were out lined in black, the walls, a light off white green. Barley ,but it's their, the ground is made out a rich white marble. Golden rails lead up the behemoth stairs. Victoria, is more grand then any of the houses, she's ever been it.
It makes her jealous, if she had digs like this perhaps she hadn't need to be through so many homes. Brilliant photos of old, and young students glared at her, she could see that the famous Hohenheim of Light looking down om her. She hated that, she still did not know his motives. His sons Edward, and Elric were in most of her classes, where Alphonse happened to be anyways.
It felt more like a movie theatre then a school, everything is grand, for starters instead of fountains, their were waiters. Handing out water bottles, and sparkly water, and pop, coke, what ever, food, chips, things she's never seen before. Victoria is humours, glamourous, lately however they've been sponsoring the 'average'.
Envy happened to be nothing but extraordinary, when it came to her grades, well it depended but it's usually in the hundreds. She's a genius, well a silent one, despite the fact her attendance record is poor, she gets away with it. Despite how amazing the school is, most of the students have been at one time at Phoenix.
Being a Foster kid, well it didn't exactly make you the most wanted kid around. That and everyone thinks that she's weird. What the hell do they know anyways? Envy scolded herself, a scowl on her face, her eyes dancing, fitfully, staring at the out side window. How she, hated that, she had slipped off into an unused classroom.
Hunched over, her thin, almost fragile body, hovered, pushed on the wall. Envy had always been dreadfully thin, but it's her own fault. Bad eating habits, it's not as if she had anyone to look after her anyways. Her Mother whoever she had never met had abandoned her.
Being a Foster kid, means you had to hold your own, she could fight if she needed to. Tooth and nail, Victoria had taken an interest in her. They hadn't been pretty determined, giving her housing, what ever she asked for, and a gold card.
Envy had been through more Foster homes, then half of the other kids. It's not my fault, it's not as if I asked to be fucking born.
Her eyes burned, ached, bleed, or felt like it. She has dark circles from lack of sleep, How can anyone sleep with all this rain? She hated all this rain, it made her far more sensitive then she'd like to admit. At the slightest sound, she would jump, sprint off in any direction.
Still the thunder hadn't broken yet, and she felt herself breathing very slowly. She had painted her nails jet black, the colour of death. I am not afraid, I'm just nervous that's all, she told herself, already the feeling of dread began to grow in her. She could smell sweat, she hated that, she could sweat bullets, at the nearest threat.
Why did I even agree to come here again? Envy thought scornfully, she had notorious bad attendance in class. Her fingers fondled her green bag, it had some loose beads, the most girly thing she owned. Yanking it open, she sucked in some air, sinking under the nearest desk. Eyes closed tightly, she pressed her forehead on the cool leg.
It's a fucking waste of my time, its not as if I learn anything that I don't really know,it isn't vanity but the truth. She had been trained extensively and well she didn't want to get into that. Envy could beat anybody, she fought, no problem! Perhaps not 'King' Bradly, but anyone else is fair game after all.
Envy is not a goth, despite the whispers at school, she just can't afford any of the good clothing, her Mother had left her an inheritance. But of course, she couldn't access that until she's eighteen, thanks so much, sarcasm, one of her best weapons.
Somehow her thin arms found their way around her painful thin legs. She wore a simple black stretchy pants. Envy didn't want unwanted attention, everything about her is plain and simple. I know I can be sexy if I want to, but I don't want anyone running after me, she thought to herself, placing her hands on the metal bar.
Her hands clung to it, this isn't a good enough place, Glancing, peering out from behind the desk, at the window. "Dammit," she hissed furious, "Fuck," she growled, she shouldn't have looked! Already her heart beat began to pound like crazy.The ground looked dark, threatening despite it being late afternoon.
Just calm down, Envy told herself, but it's too late, her heart is pounding. Whimpering under her breath, she holds, or tries to keep herself together. Envy can smell the warmth of her dark grey sweater, feeling the hairs, brushing her skin, it's soft, but rough at the same time, it had darker cuffs around the top, and arms.
Did little to show off her beautiful figure, or she had been told that many times. But still, she hunched over, her knuckles turning white. After ten minuets, of trembling, in the room, to her relief, the storm had not started. Jumping to her feet she leaped up, sliding out from underneath the desk. Throwing her bag over her shoulder she made a dash for the door.
Ripping it open, she sprinted into the hall way, at a panic. Its not going to happen! Envy thought, still she's basically running now. "What are you doing running in the halls?" That's Mustang, "I was wondering where you were off to Emeritus," That's her last name, Envy shrank sliding to the wall.
Heart beat pounding, just calm down, be cool, still the urge of panic began to sink in, her eyes were huge. Mustang, is one of the Teachers in school, he's a bit of a pervert, sometimes. But he's harmless in most peoples standards, she could handle him on a regular day. The man has jet black hair, he's only 25 years old, but it's his third year teaching.
Usually she'd do a retort, but today she lowered her head, "Come on, where watching a movie," he motioned with his white gloved hands, for her to follow. The Military school, Victoria was known to train some of the best Alchemist in the world, and Homunculus.
It was also named after the founding Fathers eldest daughter, who had not surprisingly graduated with honours. She had learned about that in History Class, the Military Arts Academy had survived despite the end of the war. Depending on what classes you took, is how you were trained, it also taught some more modern classes as of recent years.
Her feet felt heavy, she felt the urge to run, to hide, to shrink, Envy closed her eyes, what am I getting all bloody riled up for anyways? Still she could feel her heart beat, thudding, thumping in her chest. Slowly she watched him open the door for her, "After you Emeritus,"
Envy slipped into the room, most of her peers are too busy stuffing their faces, and watching the movie to pay any attention to her. Just don't look at him, Envy told herself, firmly, he thinks your weird enough as it is. To her relief the window is blocked off, by a certain, still she feels nervous, attentively, which is odd for her.
She makes her way around the outside of people, but she looks at the back of the heads. Despite Edward being A Junior, and she a Sophomore, they did have a few of the same classes, they liked to mix things up as far as she could remember. He's sixteen, she's almost sixteen, she'll be sixteen soon enough.
It's not as if she's timid, or shy, usually she's very outspoken. Rudely so, sometimes anyways, her mouth has gotten her detention, many times. Envy can hold her own if need be, she has no special friends. She had learned at a small age, making special friends, is a waste of her time.
The chairs, and desks, have been pushed to the left side of the room, like a fort to protect from that. Edward is sitting with his brother Alphonse, the soft speaking boy, is in almost every single one of her classes. Still, she slows down a bit, their are some cakes, cookies, donuts, and hot chocolate, she'd usually go for some.
His back is turned from her, lately he had gotten a little bit taller, he's popular enough. But not super popular, not as much as Greed, or Sloth, or Lust. Usually he's hanging out with Winery, Envy felt it a violent throb. Her face uncharacteristic began to burn in a very deep cherry,crimson flush, Edward had a history of tasting, and nothing more, he liked to flirt with all the girls.
But she didn't feel like eating, she hadn't been eating that well these past few days. Dammit, I'd wish it would just stop, she cursed to herself. Fuck this shit, I should just go to the nurse, that's all, she'll slip me a sedative. That itself made her feel even more pathetic, I mean who is afraid of Thunder and lightening?
Astraphobia, sounded like the name you gave a star, it did little to help. She had been diagnosed it at a young age. Usually she'd hide in a closet, under a bed, somewhere, she'd squeeze well in to, somewhere warm. It's not as if she had people she could go to, not that she needed them, she didn't need anyone.
But she wanted, she did desired Edward Elric, she could smell his scent, which is not creepy. Okay, maybe it is a little creepy, but its not her fault. He wears this kind of cologne, that's sweet, strong, and mind numbing all the same.
Envy usually took whatever she wanted, and damned the consequence, but she wanted to know a lot about Elric. And it terrified her, she'd be satisfied with stealing a couple looks, even with just staring. It dawned on her, that she wanted him to look only at her. It's unhealthy really, but its a silent obsession, its not as if she's a stalker or anything.
But its not as if she dose not have a chance, maybe they could be friends but well, Envy isn't good with that kind of thing. She could see his lips, imagine what they tasted, what they felt like, she imagined them to be deliciously soft,moist,wet,perfect, and hard. But strong, "Are you going to sit down?" that's Mustang.
Envy jerked her head back, as if snapping out of a thought "Just thinking that's all, Mustang," she snapped using her usual gusto, but her voice didn't sound as convincing.
"Enough, Emeritus" barked Mustang he went to the desk in the front of the room slipping inside of it. She could tell he had just about enough of her. Mustang taught a number of Classes, this class happened to be one of her best. Despite the fact she dose not get alone with Mustang that well, but seems to enjoy their banter once and a while.
Taking some time she glanced around the class, seeing Ross, and Scar, the two of them had been a pair since she could remember. Its a bit odd, being him so rough, tall, and grumpy, she's the complete opposite. Small petite, quite, a whisper, if anything else, she's always so timid, that and theirs rumours shes had a baby.
The darkness, did not help, its too dark in here, Envy thought, eyes locked on Edward, his presence is enough to make herself appear a little more calmer. He glances in her direction for a moment, she flinches, but shes not looking at him anyways.
Felt it sting deep within her, a ripping, gut wrenching, heart tearing feeling. Stop it! I'm not interested! Envy scolded herself firmly. She didn't want to admit it, but the feelings. They wouldn't stop coming, all at once, she felt a lump form in her throat. She hated that, why did she do this to herself?
Envy pulls up the hood over her sweater, and brings it around her ears. Eyes stinging a bit, she slipped in a corner, pushing herself up on the wall. Clinging onto her bag for support, she hunches over, gritting her teeth together in frustration. Dammit all! Envy cursed, she'd hope for the best. But knowing how her luck went, it wouldn't help.
Lips, hands, she never could see them, he always wore gloves, most of his skin is covered by a dazzling red cape. She begins to feel a bit dizzy, trying to resist the urge to throw up, blinking heavily, her breathing becomes slightly more shallow. Glancing wildly about the room, a woman was declaring her love to a bald headed man on the television.
"Love me!" She wailed reaching with her arms, the two of them embraced, she could feel beads of sweat dripping down her back. Her legs felt uncomfortable, the cold ground bit at her, through her clothing. Heart pounding, her heart throbbed ached, she rubbed her legs, trying to chase out the feelings.
I can do this, Envy thought, repeating the words, I can do this, she sucked in her breath, feeling the pain in her chest get worse. Struggling, she lost sight of Edward, and glanced at her hands. Trying to keep them from shaking.
BANG! She wasn't the only who jumped, Envy felt her knuckles cling tight on her beg, her teeth gritted grinding together. It had started! Panic, a fiery burning sensation in her stomach, had ripped through her. Like a kick to the gut, she buckled, her back arched, it, had started, her social doom, the rumbling has started.
Flinching, she took in a deep breath of air, "I need to go," she had almost brought her hands to her ears, she sounded numb.
"No, you can wait until after class, straggler," that's Mustang, but she's already half way to the door. "Wait a minuet," he protested, but she ignored him.
Like a great beast, she heard it, Envy jumped in a wild panic, she darted, let out a cry of terror, and bolted from the room. Heart, thundering, she felt tears wield up in her eyes, she sprinted, lunging at the door as if her life depended on it.
"What's the matter?" that's Mustang, he's reaching for her, but she's already ripped the door open. " Emeritus!" he called, shouting after her in frustration. But Envy fled, her feet carrying her out of the room, she squirmed, shuffling in her bag. Boom! It's like the entire ground shook, Envy yanked out her head phones, jammed one of them in her ear, and turned the volume up as loud as it could go.
"Emeritus!" Mustang followed her, but she's already fleeing to the woman's bathroom, "Emeritus!" he's calling after her, but she's thrown herself on the door in a wild panic. Tears burning in her face, leaking down her skin.
The door itself is slippery, and he's faster then she is. She can feel his hand grab a hold of her wrist, "Let me go," she sobbed, her voice trembling. Panicked, she cringed, and ducked, as a blow of lightening, exploded, her eyes became wild.
"I don't think so, I'm bring you to the nurse," Envy heart, beat is pounding so hard, she's finding it hard to breath. Shaking, she could feel her mind squirming, dizzy, she could feel herself feeling nauseated, her stomach felt the urge to throw up. A horrible, sense of great dread, struck through her, almost as if someone had drenched her in water.
She let out a chocking sound, it felt horrible, hard to breath, her entire body felt numb, tingling sensations, found their way up inside of her. He's holding tighter on her wrist, she jerked, making a dash for the door again.
"Envy stop," Mustang shouts, but it's too late she's yanked her arm free, it's getting worse, she nearly falls to the ground. But she pushes her inside, in a wild panic, the familiar room brings no release, she throws herself at the nearest stall and locks it. Sinking to the ground, she covers her head with her arms, and starts to sob.
The panic, she can't stop trembling, she whimpers, and starts crying, I'm going to die, Envy thought horrified, I'm going to die, the words repeated themselves in her mind. Violent flashes, found their way in her eyes, the world blurred all around her. She felt her breathing becoming more hard, and found it very difficult to breath.
She felt sick, violently so, dreading, she trembled, her chest it hurt horribly, it pained her so much, she couldn't stop crying. She buried her face in her hand, trying to make herself as small as possible, jamming the right ear plug into her ear. "Dammit," she screamed, her voice filled with agony,panic, it shook, she tried to block the sound with her hands.