swimming, spur, lion, unpopular
The National Zoo Athletic Gauntlet
The event was unpopular with others in their circle. The men in
charge knew this, but they needed something to draw people into the
city zoo.
The attendance had dropped when their beloved panda bear
Chin Shin died of old age. He was the main draw. None of the other
animals seemed to be of interest. They were all old and lazy, too
boring to watch for even five seconds.
This gave the ones running the place an idea. It was risky, but they knew it was wild enough to attract watchers.
They
would call it the Lion Gauntlet. Four people would start at the
entrance to the lion area. A starters gun would begin the race, where
the contestants would have assorted obstacles to get through before
finally swimming across the lion's pool to the den, where the race
would end.
The first day most of the ones entering were drunk. Four
of them were mauled when they tried to ride the lions. Two almost
drowned, as they didn't know how to swim. The lawsuits piled up. But,
their attendance went up five times their average, so they kept the
event.
The prizes were usually small, mostly monetary, and almost
never won, what with the drunks passing out before they even reached
the den. That or going backwards, leaving the lion area and wreaking
havoc on the zoo visitors.
"This is a nightmare," the owner groaned, holding the bridge of his nose in frustration.
"It's a big draw, though," the head of marketing said.
"What we need," the president of zookeeping chimed in, "is to make this harder and leave the drunks out of it."
"But the drunks draw the people in." The owner stood and paced the floor.
"Maybe..." The marketing head paused, his mouth open as though he were going to say something. "No, no, that won't work."
The three sat, perplexed at the newest issue.
"How
about we leave the drunks in it, make it longer so the drunkest drop
out early on, and offer a nice prize at the end to entice people to
join?" The president sat, looking at the other two, waiting to see what
they would have to say.
"I like that," the owner said, nodding as he held his chin in thought.
"But can we still include the lion area?" the marketing head wondered.
"Of
course," the owner bellowed. "The lion part is the big attraction. I
mean, who doesn't want to see people risk their lives by running around
with lions just to win some prize?"
"Ah, quite right," the president said with a smile and a nod.
"The
National Zoo Athletic Gauntlet," the marketing head said proudly,
spreading his hand out across him as he visualized the title.
"Are you insane?" Jigen asked.
This
seemed to put out the fire on Lupin's idea, slightly dropping the
newspaper he held. "But, look at the prize," he whined. "One of General
Lee's spurs, coated in 24 karat gold."
"Wouldn't the coating of gold drop the market price of the spur?" Goemon asked.
"But, it's gold!" Lupin was even more desperate in getting his point across.
"And you can only be drunk to enter this thing?" Jigen asked.
"That's
what it says." Lupin looked back at the ad in the paper. "Start at the
zoo entrance, run past the Antarctica exhibit, past the primates,
through the herd of wild gnus, swim through the flamingo lagoon to the
lion exhibit and then into the lion exhibit to the lion den to get the
prize," he read from the ad.
"This is probably the stupidest idea in
the history of man," Jigen remarked as he stood up, heading towards the
door. "And I want no part of it."
"Me neither," Goemon agreed, he and Jigen walking out the door.
"Fine," Lupin said, staring down with much anticipation at the ad.
"This
sounds just stupid enough for Lupin to join in on." Zenigata folded up
the paper, sitting in the passenger seat of the cop car as he was
driven to the zoo.
"I've heard about that," the cop driving said. "My brother goes all the time to watch. Says it's great."
"Your brother needs a hobby."
The cop laughed and agreed.
They
pulled up to the gates of the zoo, the attendant very strict on their
paying an entry fee. The cop sighed, pulling out some money and handing
it to the woman. He drove ahead, finding a place to park, the two
leaving the car and walking towards the entrance.
"So," the cop said, looking around at the large crowd waiting at the entrance, "this is where they start."
"Hey!" a familiar voice shouted. "Popsh!"
"Lupin!" Zenigata shouted, glaring at the wasted thief as he zig-zagged towards them.
Lupin
wrapped an arm around Zenigata's neck, much to the anger of the
Inspector. "Howsh it going? Hey everone, thish hersh my fren!"
Zenigata
growled in anger, grabbing Lupin and pushing him away. "I'm not going
to arrest you now. To be honest, I want to see you get impaled by a gnu
or eaten by a lion. And if you're still alive at the end of this thing,
then I'll arrest you."
Lupin laughed, smacking his hand hard on Zenigata's back before stumbling away.
The
contestants lined up, some falling over in a slumber before the race
even started. The crowd laughed at this, then went back to cheering on
the racer of their choice.
The man dressed as a referee rose the
starter pistol, staring down at his watch, waiting for the exact time
before firing the pistol.
The crowd cheered with excitement as the
racers took off. There were twenty five in all, eighteen of which were
running, the others asleep at the starting line.
Three of the
runners started going the wrong way, falling into the crocodile pit,
their screams of pain and horror unheard over the mad cheering of the
crowd.
The group stumbled it's way towards the Antarctica exhibit,
one area filled with penguins and another with polar bears, even though
they aren't from that region, but there because the zoo needed a place
to put them.
"Fuzzy bears!" one of the runners said joyously as he
jumped the tall wall and landed inside with the polar bears. Sadly, he
was never seen again.
Two people somehow got inside with the
penguins, each on the ground in a fetal position as the penguins pecked
them, eventually to death.
The twelve that remained made it
unscathed past the exhibit, now on their way towards the primate
enclosures. Three runners mysteriously disappeared while running past
the Rhesus Monkeys, presumably added to the ever growing pile of stolen
goods.
The nine continued, Lupin leading the way as they came towards the pack of gnus.
Lupin
slowed down, deciding to use the others as a shield. His plan worked as
four were impaled and flung to the side, Lupin making it through with
only a small scratch.
The flamingo lagoon was easy for the remaining
five. And much to the disappointment of the crowd, nothing happened to
any of the racers.
The crowd began to boo the flamingos.
The five made their way to the lion exhibit, running inside to where the lions lazily wandered, all of them yawning constantly.
Lupin eyed the den. The prize was almost his. He ran forward, shoving the others out of his way.
One
of the lions had stood up, wandering over to see what the commotion
was. He was soon punched out by Lupin, who swung wildly like a madman
at the lion, nothing about to get in his way.
Lupin jumped in the
water and began to swim. He ended up wrestling one of the lions midway,
the lion just innocently going for a swim when he was violently
attacked by the drunk thief.
The people cheered as Lupin tossed the
lion aside, making his way out of the water and towards the den, two of
the female lions standing in his way.
Lupin stopped and glared at
the lions. He then ran forward, screaming a war cry as he and one lion
clashed, Lupin punching while the lion threw her own punches, knocking
Lupin down a few times.
The anger rose in Lupin, who was so close to
the prize. He eyed the lions once again and then rammed them with his
shoulder, pushing both out of the way as he jumped and dove for the
golden spur.
Lupin landed on the ground, looking up and smiling a
huge smile as he had won the prize. But his smile quickly faded as the
spur suddenly disintegrated in his hands, turning to a pile of dust on
the ground.
Lupin was sad. He didn't even try to escape when Zenigata came in, handcuffing and hauling him off to jail.