The Science of Torturing Syaoran

A CCS Fanfic

by SyaoranSword

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Card Captor Sakura.  CLAMP and other companies I may not know of own it all.  This is a fanfic and not part of the "official" storyline.  The story is only meant for the enjoyment of the author and any would-be readers.

Notes: I know what you're going to ask.  "Why aren't you working on Peony?"  Well, much like my other one-shots, this idea has been sitting quite a while in my head, and if I didn't put it down, I would lose it.  To Syaoran lovers, if you don't want to see the poor boy suffer, then stop reading right now!  For the rest of us, you're in for a treat.  Assume the characters are at least 16 years of age, as it would probably be inappropriate for them to be under-aged in such a fic.  Written for a unique point of view, I hope you enjoy this.

The Science of Torturing Syaoran

You arrive in the lecture hall with minutes to spare.  The place is packed, and the noise of the discussions between people fills the air.  That's no surprise, considering what the topic is.  You take a seat near the back of the room, looking down on the empty stage and the gigantic projection screen dominating the front wall.  As you look around at the others in attendance, you think you recognize some of them.  Some are more uniquely dressed than others, but from what you can pick out in their conversations, most are fanfic authors.

Kit Spooner, the crazy fruitbat and infamous author of The Seduction of Sakura is easy to pick out.  So is the Canadian master of MSTs and Keitaro look-alike, CardCaptor Schlueter.  JadeWing, Syaoran killer and resurrector extraordinaire, looks rather normal compared to everyone else.  Also in the audience are Silverlight, Killiko Jun, Ciircee, Chelle-sama, Tin, Suppi-chan, Sakura, HA47, B. Na, and many others.  At first, you are overwhelmed with the amount of talent in this one room, but then you realize that underneath their fics, they are just like you.  They're here for the same reason you are, to see something special, and that's all that matters.

The door on the left side of the stage opens to reveal a familiar teenaged, pale-skinned, and blue-haired English boy carrying a metal briefcase.  He lays it down on top of a nearby table, and walks to the front of the room.  "Konnichi wa, minna-san," he greets, instantly causing the crowd to quiet down.  "You may think you know me," he says as he closes his eyes.  "Normally, I am Eriol Hiiragizawa."  His expression suddenly turns sinister with his narrow, open eyes and his ever-present smile.  "But in here, call me Professor Hiiragizawa."  His evil chuckle sends a chill up your spine, until his face returns to its normal innocent look.  "Or just Professor H.  I know why you're all here.  Oh, and don't try to deny it.  I can see it in your eager faces.  We'll start soon enough."

A young lady enters the room through the same door as Eriol did.  Her long, dark hair is done up in a bun, and she is wearing eyeglass frames.  "Allow me to introduce my partner in this study, the lovely Tomoyo Daidouji."

"That's Professor Daidouji to you, Hiiragizawa," she says while adjusting her frames.

"There's no need for formalities between us, Tomoyo-san, considering how long we've worked together.  Since when did you wear glasses?"

She removes the spectacles and pokes her fingers through where the lenses should be.  "I wanted to look the part," she simply says, putting them back on.  "Do you find me more attractive with or without them?"

"Well, it really doesn't matter, but I think you look good with glasses."  Tomoyo softly smiles at his compliment.  "It's another object to remove during our moments of passion."

She flashed a mean look at him.  "Keep talking Professor, and I'll cancel your appointment with me for tonight."

Mock horror crosses his face.  "Surely, I can't afford to miss a session with you, Professor Daidouji."

"Eriol-kun, fic now, flirt later."

He nods resignedly and addresses the crowd.  "Let's bring out our two willing participants."  Sakura enters, slightly embarrassed by the numerous pairs of eyes watching her.  Following her are the lab assistants, Yue and Ruby Moon.  Both are carrying a chair upon which Syaoran is seated.  You can see he is visibly struggling against the ropes binding him and the piece of duct tape over his mouth.  The moon guardians set him down on the floor and exit.  "My cute little descendant has the dubious honor of being the most torturable character in this universe.  That judgment is based on my personal experience and those of others, such as yourselves," Eriol says, gesturing to the audience.  "Today, Professor Daidouji and I will demonstrate some of the more common forms of torture, and you'll get to see just how bad it can get for Li-kun."

Upon hearing his fate, Syaoran pleads Sakura with his wide amber eyes to stop them.  "I know I agreed to help you, but Eriol-kun, are you sure about this?" Sakura asks worriedly.

He assures her, "It's all for the good of science, Sakura-san."

The clueless girl gives her beloved a sad look.  "If you say so…"

Professor H and Professor Daidouji whisper a few things to each other before he says, "Then let's get started."

"But first," Tomoyo jumps in, "Sakura-chan needs to get dressed."  The fashion designer turned scientist pushes the surprised girl out of the room.

Professor H walks back over to the metal briefcase and unlocks it.  He holds up what looks like a helmet with a giant thermometer strapped to the front.  "This is called the Blush-O-Meter, or the BOM, invented by me and Professor Daidouji.  It measures the severity of blushing of whoever is wearing it.  The scale goes from zero to ten, with ten being nosebleed territory."  Although Syaoran resists as much as he can, the BOM is attached with little difficulty.  Eriol cups the boy's chin in his hand.  "You're going to enjoy this."  He reaches into Syaoran's pocket and pulls out his wallet with a picture of Sakura in her school uniform.  "I'm using this to calibrate the machine," he explains before holding it in front of the subject's face.  Syaoran barely reddens, and the BOM registers a two.  "Looks normal," Eriol reports before putting the wallet back where he found it.

"They should be coming back soon."  The chair that Syaoran is tied to is turned so that he now faces the door. Professor H goes back to the metal briefcase and pulls out a tripod, Tomoyo's V8, and a very long video cable.  After a lengthy procedure, the blurry face of Syaoran appears on the large projection screen.  The picture is focused and is adjusted to include the Blush-O-Meter for the benefit of those in the back.

"You're on the big screen once again, my cute little descendant."  Syaoran sends a glare at Eriol, who is manning the camera.  Your blood freezes seeing the little wolf's scowl magnified 100 times by the big screen.  "Smile for the camera, Li-kun.  I don't want you to perform in front of an empty audience."

At the sound of the door swinging open, Syaoran sharply turns his head.  His eyes widen half in fear and half in curiosity of what Tomoyo has come up with this time.  A figure steps through, causing the tense boy to narrow his eyes and glower.  "Here's your lab coat, Professor H."

"Thank you."  He put his arms through the sleeves and pulled the sides firmly in front of him.  With Tomoyo already wearing hers, the two look like real scientists.  "Is Sakura-san ready?"

"She is.  All I need to do is go get her."

Eriol turns to the crowd to explain.  "What's going to happen is Sakura-san will walk through that door in an outfit made by Tomoyo-san.  My cute little descendant will blush, and the result will appear on the BOM."

"Thanks to Sakura-chan's quick changing skills, the latency time will be kept to a minimum.  She'll keep putting on clothes that will reveal more and more skin.  A trend will hopefully develop in Li-kun's blush readings."

"And while we would like to show you what it would take to reach a ten on the Blush-O-Meter, it will not happen for the safety of both subjects.  Would you be so kind as to start the fashion show, Professor Daidouji?"

"Certainly."  She moves to the door and holds it open as she stands in the doorway.  "Let's go, Sakura-chan!"

"Tomoyo-chan, I don't know if I can do this."

"Relax.  Just do as I told you before.  It will be over before you know it."  Sakura reluctantly takes her best friend's advice, and steps into view.  She is wearing a highly conservative ensemble, and a result of one on the BOM reflects Syaoran's feelings towards said outfit.  On every subsequent trip, Sakura's skirt is a little shorter, her top is a little tighter, and the BOM reading is a little higher.

Syaoran's eyes nearly pop out on her last time out.  She is wearing a dark green tank top that reveals her navel, a pink miniskirt that fits snugly around her hips, and black leather boots that reach up to her knees.  Eriol laughs to himself, watching both turn tomato red from the catcalls emanating from the audience.  "Look at that mercury rise!"  Long after she is out of sight, Professor H reads the result.  "An eight!  Very impressive.  As you can see, there is a definite relationship between what Sakura-san wears, and my cute little descendant's BOM readings.  The severity of blushing is directly proportional to amount of skin showing.  Wouldn't you agree, Li-kun?"

The captive Chinese boy glares mightily at the smiling Professor H to no effect.  "For our next experiment, the subject will be blindfolded."  Eriol takes out a piece of black cloth and ties it around Syaoran's head, covering his eyes.  "This is to prevent him from seeing what his love is wearing and biasing the results."  The two girls come back into the room, with Sakura still wearing the revealing outfit.  "Sakura-san, would you like a cup of tea?"

"Sure."  Tomoyo pours a clear liquid from what is decidedly not a teapot.  She hands the cup to Sakura, who takes a sip and looks at the liquid questioningly.  "I've never tasted tea like this before."

"It's a special blend," Tomoyo reassures the gullible girl.  "I got it from the Masaki household."  Seeing nothing wrong, Sakura downs the rest of the liquid and develops a redness in her cheeks.

Professor H smiles evilly while he says, "A sidebar to this.  The general rule is that tea in fanfics equals trouble with a capital T.  This isn't an opinion; it's a proven fact.  You don't believe me?  CardCaptor Schlueter has done extensive research on this topic, or you can go see What was in that Tea?, a so-so lemon fic where Professor Daidouji and I get it on."

"Watch it, Professor."

"Gomen, Tomoyo-san.  Anyway, this next experiment requires my dear half-daughter to be uninhibited, so that she can be rather seductive to my cute little descendant.  The tape will be removed from his mouth so that the two lovers can make suggestive conversation.  Another cup, Sakura-san?"

She nods eagerly as Tomoyo fills the cup again with 'tea'.   "Two cups of sake is enough for Sakura-chan.  We wouldn't want her to pass out."

Sakura imbibes the second drink, causing her cheeks to redden further.  She wears a silly grin on her face, and in the spirit of Oliver Twist, she holds up her cup and says, "Can I have some more?"

"Maybe later," Eriol says as he takes the cup from her hands.  "Sakura-san, would you kindly remove the tape from Li-kun's mouth?"  The drunken Card Mistress walks slowly over to her bound and gagged boyfriend.  Her hand reaches for the corner of the gray tape.  "No need to cover your ears.  Li-kun has a high threshold of pain."  She gives a hard yank, and Syaoran's scream fills the auditorium.  Slowly removing his hands from his ears, Eriol receives glares from everyone in the audience.  "Ok, I was wrong.  I have a right to be wrong sometimes!"

"I will KILL you, Hiiragizawa!!"  The furious and still blindfolded sorcerer yells his frustration.  "Just wait till I-"

"Poor Syao-chan.  Did I hurt you?"  The sweet apologetic voice of his girlfriend cut off Syaoran's tirade.  "Here, I'll make it all better for you."  Sakura peppers Syaoran with tiny kisses all around his mouth, causing him to cease his struggling.  She runs a hand across his cheek.  "I think I like you being tied up."  That comment alone receives a six on the BOM.  Sakura then sits on Syaoran's lap, puts her hands in his hair, and gives him a full kiss on the lips.  "I love you so much, Syao-chan.  On lonely nights, I dream about the day when you'll ask me to be with you forever.  And I'll say yes, Syao-chan.  I'll be your blushing bride, your loving wife, and the mother of our kawaii future children."

The audience goes, "Awww!"

"I don't want to ever leave you.  Let me sleep with you tonight, onegai?"  You watch as the BOM shoots up to ten and the rush of blood to Syaoran's head causes him to pass out.  Sakura doesn't look concerned as she smiles and rests her head on his shoulder.  "I'll be right here when you wake up, Syao-chan.  Aishiteru."  The scene of Sakura and Syaoran sleeping together is too cute for words.

"This concludes our study of torturing my cute descendant.  There are of course many other methods, but we will leave the others for another time.  And now for the final say…"

"Here's Kero-chan!"

The famous golden guardian flies through the door and into center stage.  "Konnyanichi wa!  Kero-chan check!"

"Kero-chan, we don't have time.  Say the closing at the end of the show"

"NANI?  No Kero-chan check?!"

"I'll give you a pudding cake.  Just say the closing."

"Oh, all right.  This has been a presentation of the CCS Institute, which is not in any way affiliated with the Clow Reed Institute of Evil Magic and Mad Science, and has been sponsored by Blushers Anonymous, People for the Ethical Treatment of Guardians, the Society of the Glucose Intolerant, and the Kawaii Union.  The sake was provided by the Masaki household, home of Tenchi.  We do not condone underage drinking.  Sakura and Syaoran were not harmed in this study… at least we hope not.  Thank you and good night!"