This is my first mortal instruments fanfiction. I hope you enjoy it and review.
"I love Jace."
The silence that rung out after my statement was almost deafening as I looked across the diner table at Clary. At first, she had looked confused. I'd asked if she wanted to catch up over lunch because I hadn't seen her that often since becoming a Downworlder, so we'd come to the diner for what she'd probably thought would be mindless banter and talking about meaningless problems that were usually easily solved, like we used to do before all the crazy shaddowhunter shit happened. In actuality, I just really needed to tell someone of the secret that had been eating away at me and I assumed that Clary, as my best friend, would understand.
After the confusion came the shock. Her eyes widened almost comically at me and she leaned across the table slightly to check if she'd heard correctly.
"You… love Jace?"
I hesitated for a moment, unsure of what her reaction would be. "Umm… Yeah."
Clary blinked a couple of times before slowly straightening up in her seat. I bit my lip as she processed this information. I was shocked out of my worry though when she jumped around the table and engulfed me in a tight hug, forcing me to let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding.
"That is so adorable," she squealed, flashing me a huge grin as she backed back to her chair. "I didn't know you were gay," she exclaimed, too loudly for my taste.
I felt myself blush as a couple of people from nearby tables turned to stare and I fixed my gaze on a salt shaker on the middle of the table, trying to ignore them.
"How long have you liked him?" Clary asked excitedly, almost bouncing up and down like a yoyo in her seat. I guess she's never been able to talk this girly shit to me before, so she's pretty thrilled with my confession.
"Err… Well… Since I met him in your apartment, that day your mom went missing," I reply sheepishly, bowing my head in embarrasement.
Clary lets out an 'aww, that's so sweet' before hugging me again and I can't help but smile. She doesn't mind. I thought she might be kind of pissed off because they'd just found out that she and Jace were no longer siblings so they might finally start a relationship and she might still love him and consider my feelings to be getting in the way. But, she doesn't. Everything is fine.
We soon finish up our lunch and part ways. I decide to head out for a walk through the nearest park to clear my head.
I get really jittery whenever I have to tell a deep personal secret to someone, even if it isn't too much of a big deal, and I usually need time to calm down afterwards. I don't really need to breath as a vampire but I find myself pushing air through my lungs at quite a fast pace. Despite my shaky state, I can't hold back the goofy grin that curls my lips.
I feel light now that the burden of my buried secret is now shared with the one person I know I can trust. Clary was definitely the right person to tell. She's like a sister to me.
I leave the park and go back to my apartment. Although I'm a daywalker, I still get fairly tired during the light hours. Remembering how I came to be a daywalker from my experience on Valentine's boat makes me shudder with pleasure. Despite the fact that I could have killed him, it was incredibly hot when I saw him so vulnerable beneath me as I drank from him in that secluded room.
I shrug off those memories with a smirk before I sink into the couch and am almost immediately pulled into sleep.
I wake hours later to my mobile ringing, so I fish it out of my back pocket, checking the caller ID: Clary, before putting it to my ear.
"Hey, Clary."
"Oh umm hey Simon. I was wondering if you would come to have a coffee with me. Right now."
I raise my eyebrows at her request. "We saw each other for lunch four hours ago." I say slowly.
Her voice sounds kind of weird, uneasy. It's probably just my bad phone distorting her so I shrug it off as she replies to my statement. "Yeah, but I think we should get coffee. I'll see you in ten minutes at our usual place. No buts."
She hung up.
This was getting weird. Clary's always been crazy and slightly impulsive but she was never this demanding. Usually she would at least ask if I was busy first. Perhaps she would tell me what was up at the coffee house.
I sling on a jacket and head out.
"Hi"
Clary jumps at my voice and spins around in her chair as I walk forward and sit beside her. She gives a shaky smile and a breathy hello. What is up with her? She's never like this. Well, I've only seen her like this when… when she's done something she's guilty for.
This doesn't happen often but it happens enough for me to have recognised the signs of her guilt. I always refer to her as being like a little wide eyed puppy who's done a poo somewhere and they know they've done something bad and they don't want the owner to know.
"Where's the poop, Clary?"
She gulps audibly but tries to cover it up. "What poop? There isn't any poop."
"Where's the poop, Clary?"
"I… umm… You'll be mad."
I have a really bad feeling about this. Whenever she's done a 'poop', she's never been this insecure. I take a deep breath and begin to try and mentally prepare myself for whatever knife she decides to throw at me next. "I'll try not to be mad…"
She bites her lower lip and flicks her red locks over her shoulder. "You know how earlier, you told me that you had a thing for Jace?" Oh no. What has she done? Has she told him? He's going to be super freaked out. This is awful. I nod my head to Clary to let her continue. She takes a deep breath before speaking again. "Well, err… well, … he and I are going out."
My mind has gone blank. "Huh?"
"Jace and I are going out."
What? When did this happen How did this happen? Who asked who? My head hurts. I fight to think rationally.
Maybe this started before I told Clary and she was just too afraid to say anything earlier. Yeah that's probably it. I speak up. "When did this start?"
She avoids my gaze. "Today."
Today. He must have spoken to her this morning then, or…. "When today?"
"…An hour ago."
My breath catches in my throat. She said yes to him after she already knew that I liked him. I didn't even know that she still loved him. Why would she do this? I thought she'd never been the kind of person to do that sort of thing. She would at least say that if we both like him then neither of us can have him. What…
Clary interrupts my thoughts. "Isabelle said that I should tell you, because you're one of my best friends… Are you alright with this? Are you OK?"
I remain calm on the outside but inside I am screaming every foul word I know. How am I supposed to be 'OK' with my best friend dating my crush? What kind of stupid question was that? And the fact that she told Isabelle before me, that stings like hell.
I stay silent, before I hear the bell by the door ring as someone enters and I look up to see him.
Jace is decked out in his usual black leather, his angelic runes visible on the pale skin of his arms and neck. My eyes stuck to the silver half-moon on his neck where I'd bitten him on Valentine's boat. My heart ached for him. He spotted us and walked over, resting his hands on Clary's shoulders. "Hey," he said softly to her. She smiled back at him, forgetting I was even there, and pulled him down into a sweet kiss.
It killed me.
What should Simon do next? Please review your ideas to me and I might continue using the best idea as inspiration. Help Simon win Jace by reviewing, I beg you!
