Frozen Seas and Poisoned Hearts
So I heard it was xpumpkindumplingx 's birthday yesterday and so I started thinking about if I had any fun things that might be right up her alley. How does Jones brothers (whump) feelz with a bit of frozen jewel garnish sound? This was a joint effort product of the All Headcanons Come with a Price chatroom by pirate-owl , icecubelotr44 and myself that I just finalized and garnished with frozen jewel for birthday reasons!
The implied warnings of reading something by this particular trio applies in spades, we make them work for that happy ending…
(When head canon fics break containment: Part infinity of our love letters to killian-whump series :P)
Even the sky was different in Wonderland, with the sun and moon shining together. The shores looked strange and plants, if plants they were, looked like they were on the verge of getting up and walking away. An elderly man with an excessively large mustache sat on the beach shucking oysters.
"Identify yourself, sir," Liam said.
"They call me Walrus," the man said. He had a gruff voice, but seemed friendly enough. "Fine day for a walk with my lovely oyster friends here," he said.
"I'm sure it is," Liam said. "I'm Captain Jones. This is my Lieutenant. We're here by order of the king."
"What suit?" Walrus asked, going back to shucking the oysters.
"What what?" Liam asked.
"Suit. Hearts, Diamonds, Clubs, or Spades?"
"That's funny," Liam said, with no actual evidence of amusement. He unfolded a piece of parchment with a red and white mushroom drawn on it in a careful hand. "We seek this mushroom. Do you know where we can find it?"
"King of Hearts, then," the man said. "Only the Hearts are that ruthless."
"Ruthless?" Killian asked.
"What would you call it?" Walrus asked. "There's a lot of poisons in Wonderland. Ones that kill fast, ones that kill slow, ones that kill secretly, ones that cause pain but don't kill until the victim asks politely. But that one…" the old man shook his head. "There's not many cruel enough to use that one."
"Is it possible?" Killian asked Liam quietly. "The king would turn poison upon our enemies?"
"Don't be so gullible. This old man is playing games with us. And I'm quickly tiring of them. Come, we should keep moving."
"Good luck," the man said. "Whether that means finding it or not, I don' know. It's just past the slithy toves, if you're so sure you want it."
Killian was still unconvinced as the brothers made their way through the swampland known as the slithy toves. (Neither of them knew what either word meant, but it was marked as slithy toves on the map, so the were fairly sure they were in the right place.) By the time they reached the garden of mushrooms where their prize lay, Killian had nearly convinced himself that it was poison and was doing his best to convince Liam of the same.
"Then allow me to disabuse you of that notion." Liam plucked one of the mushrooms, drew a small dagger from his belt and pierced it, coating the tip of the dagger.
"No. Brother, don't," Liam ignored Killian's caution and scratched the coated dagger across his arm lightly, just enough to draw blood. It stung a little, but not more than the scratch would have without the mushroom.
"You see? Perfectly fine. I told you, our king would never lie to us. Now let's collect our specimens and get out of this strange realm."
Killian sighed. He was relieved to be wrong, doubtless, but must Liam be so smug about it…
"Alright. But at least let me wrap your arm. There's no telling what could infect a wound in this place."
"Very well, little brother. But make haste. I would very much like to be back to the ship before nightfall. And before the locals take notice of us." Killian moved forward to take Liam's arm, an objection to the endearment in the tip of his tongue, but his fingers barely touched skin before Liam cried out in pain and was flung away from him in a burst of magic, his heart glowing green through his white uniform. Killian ran forward and knelt beside Liam, but his touch appeared to offer no comfort; Liam never stopped screaming, the sound cutting Killian to the heart.
"Do you want him to die?" a lazy voice asked. There was a large tabby cat sitting on one of the excessively large mushrooms, twitching its tail and grinning at them. "I'm not judging. If you do, then by all means, keep touching him. The screaming is annoying but that will fade eventually."
"What's happening to him?" Killian demanded. He had to raise his voice to be heard over Liam's agonized screams. "Please, help him!"
"Then do as I say and take a few steps away from him," the cat said, sounding bored. Liam's hand was locked around Killian's forearm and the thought of pulling away when Liam was in such agony nearly made Killian sick to his stomach, but he was just desperate enough to try anything. He pulled free of Liam's grip and scrambled a few steps away. As soon as he put a little distance between them, Liam's screams broke into sobs and then shuddering breaths. "Now one step toward him," the cat directed. Cautiously, Killian did so, stepping back again immediately when Liam cried out again. "Now you understand his situation," the cat said.
"Killian?" Liam whispered. His voice was hoarse from screaming and still weak from pain but he reached out unseeingly for his brother.
"It's alright, brother," Killian called, hoping it sounded far more reassuring than it felt. "I'll find a way to help you."
He hadn't quite figured out how he planned on doing that. Liam was barely conscious, he needed help to get back to the ship but if Killian so much as leaned towards him Liam stiffened in pain. He had to get help, but leaving Liam here in this clearing with only the cat to watch over him? Killian hesitated, but he couldn't just stay here, hovering on the edge of the clearing while Liam called for him, in too much pain to grasp that Killian couldn't come closer.
When the pain finally began to fade enough that Liam could unclench his eyes and attempt to sit up, the clearing was empty. Panic took root in his chest where the pain had been a moment ago and he looked to the grinning feline.
"Where is he?"
"It's better isn't it, little soldier? Much better now that the littler one is gone."
"Where is my brother?" Liam insisted.
"Gone for help. Better if he doesn't come back."
Liam stiffened, hand reaching for his blade, unclear if the comment was a threat despite the creature's ever-present and unnerving grin. He tried to stand but it was all he could do to force himself into a sitting position. He dragged himself to a nearby tree, feeling marginally safer with something solid at his back now that Killian wasn't here to watch his back in this unfamiliar land. The pain in his chest which had faded began to grow worse again and Liam leaned his head back against the tree grimacing.
"Seems the littler one is coming back after all-" the cat commented, watching Liam with curiosity.
"Of course he's coming back," Liam spat, "why the devil wouldn't he c-" his words broke off with a groan, the burning heat in his chest making his thoughts scatter. Tearing at the buttons of his uniform, Liam saw the eerie green light growing steadily worse until he could hear Killian calling for him in the distance. His head dropped back against the tree again, eyes closed but finally acutely aware that the pain grew worse with every step Killian made toward him.
What have I done?
The Jolly Roger was many things, but expansive was not one of those things. Killian had never considered the cabin "small" before, it was downright luxurious compared to some of the spaces he and his brother had shared over the years. But even with his own cot shoved as far against the opposite wall as the small space would allow, Killian couldn't bear the sound of Liam's breathing, halting and labored in the darkness for more than an hour that first night.
Killian joined the crew below. At least that's what he told Liam. In reality he spent that first night as far from Liam's cabin as he could physically get without throwing himself overboard, in the hopes that it would allow Liam to get a few hours respite from the pain in sleep. The dark circles under Liam's eyes the next day informed him that it wasn't nearly enough.
Liam tried to hide it. He did a decent job of it when he knew Killian was watching, but the times Killian caught sight of him when he thought he was unobserved…. the furrow of his eyebrows, the way his grip on the helm was white knuckled and his movements jerky. No one told Liam that Killian wasn't sleeping in the hammock reserved for him below, an unspoken agreement between the crew and himself. The cook brought him hot soup when the nights were chilly, and blankets were left on his hammock from time to time, probably from the men that knew he needed them more than they did. Still, the dark circles under Liam's eyes grew more pronounced each day. It wasn't far enough.
Killian began to eye the dinghy after only a couple weeks.
He knew Liam wouldn't like it. didn't even consider asking his brother to drop him off at some port or another. Instead he simply gathered the rations he would need to make it back to port the night after they left one behind. He'd find work somewhere, and Liam could rest easy. One of them would find a cure, somehow.
He'd tossed his bag of rations into the dinghy and was about to lower it when a pained voice interrupted him from behind.
"So that's it then, middle of the night without even saying goodbye? Without even- Killian, don't."
"I can't stay here Liam, not when it-" Killian didn't turn, couldn't look at Liam. If he looked at Liam he would change his mind. He turned. It didn't change his mind. Liam was mere steps from him, his face pale and hands shaking at their proximity and Killian stepped back, his boot hitting the side of the ship when he'd nowhere left to go. "I can't stay here. We'll find a cure. One of us will find a cure and then-"
"I can stand it, Killian," Liam interrupted, trying desperately to hide the tremor in his voice. "I'll be fine. Please don't do this." This is the closest he'd been to Killian in weeks and every instinct he has is telling him to reach out for Killian, to prove he could take it with a hug or a hand on his shoulder. But this close to Killian all he could manage was to stay upright, to not cry out, maybe to hide the trembling in his hands by clasping them behind his back. He cursed his weakness; maybe if he had made more of an effort to get close to Killian these last few weeks. Maybe if he hadn't screamed in front of his little brother in Wonderland? Maybe then Killian wouldn't feel like he had to leave…
"You can stand it?" Killian's voice came out bitter and sharper than he intended. "Well I can't. I can't stand it. Knowing what I'm doing to you simply being here. I have to go, brother. I have to-" Killian turned to go and Liam reached for his shoulder on instinct. Desperate to just stop him. He'd barely touched Killian's shoulder before the flames erupted in his chest again and he screamed, white hot flames burning him from the inside and making his vision blur.
He screamed Killian's name, but it wasn't Killian looking down at him when the pain finally receded. Liam sat up abruptly, nearly knocking over a crewman who was peering down at him anxiously. He knew Killian was gone before he even made it to the rail. The pain was gone, and so was his brother. He wanted the pain back.
Killian ran, the burning of the mark on his wrist and the fading sounds of Liam's cries telling him it wasn't far enough, not yet. He was in a dinghy and there was only one port near enough for him to reach so he knew he had to keep running or Liam would follow him.
He was a wanted man now, a deserter, a crime punishable by death if he were caught, so he abandoned his uniform at first opportunity and threw himself into his search for the cure, desperate to find something that would allow him to sail with his brother again.
He ran; whenever his wrist began to sting, warning him that Liam was catching up he ran faster until finally Liam seemed to realize that Killian wasn't going to let himself be found. The stinging faded and Killian was both relieved and heartbroken to know that this was the farthest he'd ever been from his brother.
Killian wasn't the only one running now. Liam was just as wanted as his brother, perhaps more so because when Liam did not show up with the 'medicine' his king demanded, he took the ship and the crew with him along with the pegasus sail. When Wonderland did not yield a cure for his cursed heart he went further, to any realm that he could find record of magic, searching for something, anything that would make him whole again.
His search finally took him to Arendelle where rumors of a Queen's out of control magic now under control gave him hope of finding some way to block the power of the curse if not eliminate it entirely. What he found in Arendelle was more than magic.
He expected very little from Queen Elsa. His experience with royalty had been thoroughly tarnished by the deceit of his own King. It didn't help that her demeanor was frosty and defensive when she demanded to know his business in Arendelle.
"I don't expect you to help me," Liam said, his voice defensive, bristling at having a royal on his ship. "But I've done no harm to you or your people. Leave me in peace. I will seek what I am here for and return to my brother."
Her demeanor shifted almost instantly. "Your brother?"
Part of him was tempted to tell her to mind her own business, but something in the way her gaze softened changed his mind and he found himself telling her everything. About Killian and their curse, about the King who had betrayed them and the magic he was in such desperate need of.
"I understand," she said when he finally fell silent.
"Do you?"
"I have a little sister," she said, as though it explained everything. Perhaps it did. "I think I have something that can help you."
Something that could help turned out to be the magic of a peculiar group of rock trolls who tried their best to get him to marry Queen Elsa to both of their embarrassment. Finally they stopped singing and crafted him a pair of leather gloves that Elsa insisted would block magic, even the magic of a curse.
He should have left that day, but he didn't. He told himself he wanted to be certain the gloves worked, to be certain he knew the price, to be certain… He told himself it wasn't because her eyes reminded him of the chilly mountain springs he vaguely remembered playing in as a child. That something about the fondness in her voice when she spoke of her little sister made him feel as though he knew her so much better than the familiarity a few days in Arendelle had given him.
He hesitated, tempted for the first time in his life to seek something that he wanted, just because he wanted to. Not because Killian needed it, not to be a good example or to ensure Killian's safety. He just… wanted to know her. And after months of seeking a cure for his cursed heart didn't he deserve to celebrate this first taste of victory? Could Killian not wait a few more days?
Word came by bird of Killian's arrest two weeks later and Liam left without saying goodbye.
Killian had never forgotten the kiss of the cat, never forgotten how thoroughly the first brush of knotted leather stole his very breath away, Even over skin already defended by scars, he never grew used to feeling like the cat's master were scoring his very bones indelibly. As the force of each strike grew increasingly violent, the only defiance he could muster was to shiver in near silent agony. To not give them the screams he knew they wanted.
It didn't take long for his ribs to bruise under the torn skin, for his muscles to quiver and spasm, for his legs to refuse to hold his weigh. Even breathing is an effort, between the muscle damage to his back and the pain that is all-encompassing. But still the punishment continued, his tormentor concentrating solely on wringing every inch of penance from his skin.
But he isn't sorry. He doesn't regret it. He only regrets that he was unsuccessful, that he never found Liam's cure, that he was caught.
Killian smiled when he first felt the burning. The fire on his wrist that had nothing to do with the lash on his back, nearly unnoticed in the wave of brutal sensation from the cat. But he smiled, because that burning meant Liam. Liam was coming for him. Liam would get him out of this.
Soon the burning at his wrist fades from his consciousness, drowned out by the mess they've doubtless made of his back. He wants to wish Liam wont come then; that Liam won't have to see this, but he can't. Because he doesn't want to die like this. He just wants his big brother to make it stop, like he used to when they were so much smaller.
It doesn't stop.
There was a crowd surrounding the grisly sight. The public execution of a defector had all the air of a carnival and Liam clenched his jaw, whether against the disgust or the growing pain in his heart he wasn't quite certain. It seemed the gloves are not the complete cure he was hoping for, but perhaps now he could hug his brother without passing out. It would be something. For the first time since his heart was cursed he hoped Killian could feel the burning too. Hopes Killian knows he's coming, that he's nearby.
But crowds mean guards, and guards mean he runs the risk of being arrested himself before he can even reach Killian. He had to wait until his crew could organize a suitable distraction, had to stand half hidden amongst the jeering crowd, waiting for the signal that felt like it took forever in coming. Suddenly madness erupted and calls of "Fire!" rang out from a neighboring street. Panic swept through the crowd; crowd and guards alike scatter. In moments all but two of the guards and the executioner had fled the scene leaving Killian hanging half limp from the rack in the middle of the square.
The guards were down before they even realized they were under attack and the executioner dropped the bloodied cat to the ground, shrinking back before turning to run. For a moment Liam almost followed, rage making him want this man's blood to mingle with Killian's on the street. But Killian let out a small sound of pain and suddenly nothing else mattered.
He let the executioner scurry away like the vermin he was and turns back to Killian. Liam hadn't seen anything like this since Silver's ship, truthfully this made the punishments on Silver's ship look like a slap on the wrist. Two of his men were already trying to cut Killian down but Killian was barely conscious and weakly fighting the men trying to cut him free. His eyes were wide and terrified and Liam knew the only way to calm Killian down was to do it himself (like he has so many times before.) He waved aside the men and knelt next to Killian.
Running his fingers through Killian's sweat-soaked hair didn't comfort Liam nearly as much as it used to, what with not being able to feel the warmth of his little brother's skin under the pads of his fingers, but the gloves made bearable what once would have left him in incomprehensible agony.
"I've got you, little brother, you're going to be alright now." Finally Killian stopped fighting and relaxed enough that Liam could reach the ropes that bound him to the grate.
"Li'" Killian's voice broke and faded as Liam cut free the rope. They had left their own marks on his brother's wrists from holding him up when his knees buckled. Killian managed only one step away from the scaffold before he crumpled to his knees but Liam dropped in front of him, holding Killian upright with outstretched arms.
Liam could feel his muscles trembling in pain but Killian was shaking so badly he didn't seem to notice. In the depth's of his agony, Killian seemed to have forgotten all about the curse, burying his face into Liam's shoulder like a frightened child. He'd dressed in a turtleneck, despite the unseasonable warmth, and it allowed him to let Killian crumple forward and rest his head on his shoulder for a moment. The gloves and fabric separating himself from Killian keep him from passing out but Liam can feel the fire licking at his heart. He steels himself and brushed his fingers through Killian's hair again, murmuring gently to him all the while. They don't have long, Liam knew that. The crown would send more men after them soon and they needed to be long gone before that happened. But for now he let Killian rest, just for a moment. Just until he got a signal from the lookout that they had to move or all join Killian on the rack.
"Killian," Liam whispered gently, "Look at me, Killian." Killian struggled to raise his head and Liam brushed damp hair from his face. "We have to get you back to the ship. We have to move quickly." Killian nodded. "Lewis going to carry you. It's going to hurt. But when we get home I'm going to take care of you, okay?"
Killian nodded again and Liam glanced past him, signaling Lewis to move closer. He wished he had the strength to carry Killian himself back to the ship but just being so close was nearly too much for Liam to stand. When Lewis lifted Killian into his arms Killian stiffened, barely even having time to let out a small cry before the pain became too much and he went limp in the helmsman's arms.
"Get him back to the ship," Liam ordered unnecessarily, but Lewis was already hurrying off in the direction of the docks. Liam lingered behind a moment, closing his eyes and letting the pain fade with the distance Lewis put between them.
So it wasn't a cure, the gloves couldn't block the effects of the curse entirely, but he'd been able to cut Killian down from this rack with his own hands and for that he was endlessly grateful to Elsa.
He wondered if she would even talk to him if he returned to Arendelle one day. He'd left without warning, without saying goodbye. It was hardly the kind of treatment a woman of her station was accustomed to.
Liam shook his head, wiping Killian's blood from the gloves onto his shirt and pulling himself to his knees. he couldn't think of her right now. Killian needed him.
The ship's surgeon was already cleaning Killian's back when Liam arrived at the ship with the last of the crew, ordering them to set sail before they could be followed. With very little hesitation he ordered the course set for Arendelle. Elsa may hate him right now but he didn't think she would drive him away, not with Killian so badly wounded and their King desperately searching for them both. Liam hovered in the doorway while the surgeon worked, finally moving closer when Killian began to wake up, whimpering and trying to pull away from the pain.
"It's alright," Liam murmured, steading himself with a hand on the side of Killian's bunk as the ship left the ocean's surface behind. He moved his hand to Killian's arm once they were steady again and to his surprise Killian flinched away. Liam pulled away his hand, fearing he'd unknowingly aggravated an injury, but he'd been careful.
"It's not worth it, Liam," Killian mumbled under his breath. "Go away, please. Go Away! I don't want you here." Perhaps it might have been more convincing if his voice wasn't breathless from pain and his words interspersed with whimpers when the surgeon touched a particularly raw wound.
"Killian, it's fine," Liam lied. "I'm fine. It doesn't hurt." Killian continued to try to pull himself away from Liam and finally Liam sighed in exasperation. "Stay where you are lieutenant, that's an order." He knelt next to Killian and brushed the hair from his face again as he had earlier, drawing his attention to the gloves he now wore. "They're magic, Killian. They block the curse" Killian collapsed, his strength spent and allowed his head to fall into Liam's lap, allowed the tears to soak his cheeks.
Bloody hell, it hurt having Killian so close. But Liam nodded at the surgeon to continue his work, running his fingers through Killian's hair and letting Killian cling tight to one hand. Relieved, despite the pain, that Killian was finally here again. Finally home.
When Killian passed out again under the doctors ministrations Liam pulled himself free and gently lowered Killian back to the pillows. "If he begins to wake call me immidiately" he ordered and slipped from the room, walking with straight shoulders to the bow of the ship. It was the place Killian used to come in the dead of night in a futile attempt to relieve Liam's agony the last time they sailed together. He'd hated that Killian had to come out here, but exhaustion made him accept what he never wanted.
Now it was his turn to come here. Liam collapsed, his own strength spent behind the boxes he'd had moved there to give Killian some privacy. He didn't hit the deck though. Strong arms caught him and lowered him gently to the ground. Liam didn't even need to look back to know that it was Lewis who had followed him.
"I'm alright, Lewis," he said, hating the weakness in his voice that betrayed him.
"Aye, captain."
It was rare that Liam let himself rely on someone else's strength, but after today he had nothing left. So he leaned against Lewis and listened for the sound of someone calling him from his cabin.
Eventually the ship began to dip back towards the ocean and when the vessel splashed down Liam roused himself slightly.
"How far from Arendelle?"
"Better part of a day from landfall. Shall we make for the capital?"
Liam considered for a moment then finally shook his head. Killian was suffering, he was weak and Elsa had good reason to hate him for his abrupt departure. But it was more than that. He was afraid Killian would run again, given half a chance, and he couldn't let him run. Not when he was already so badly hurt. Killian needed time to heal and it was a hell of a lot easier to keep him from running aboard this ship.
When the call finally came from his cabin he was up again without hesitation, back at Killian's side before his eyes open. When he was awake Killian leaned against Liam, needing his strength to avoid crying out as the bandages pulled on raw healing skin. Normally Liam could handle it, the gloves did help, even if they didn't help so much as Killian thought they did. He managed. It hurt, every moment he was in the room with Killian, every moment they were even on the same ship, but he was more careful this time, keeping up the pretense that the gloves protect him more than they do, terrified Killian would run again if he knew the truth.
He managed, until Killian accidentally brushed against his unprotected cheek and fire raced through him again and he collapsed screaming, unable to think from the pain. Lewis is in the room within moments, dragging Liam from the cabin as Killian flattened himself against the wall, trying desperately to put as much distance between himself and Liam as he could manage.
"Don't let him run," Liam whispered desperately to Lewis, "Please, don't let him run." Lewis locked the door of the cabin from the outside, just in case, but Killian was in no shape to run, however much he may want to.
Lewis sat with Liam as the pain began to fade, sitting between his captain and the door. When Liam began to stir, Lewis raised an eyebrow at him, refusing to budge from his chair.
"Going somewhere, Captain?" Lewis asked.
"Back to my own cabin," Liam replied stubbornly.
"Afraid not," Lewis retorted. Liam's eyes narrowed but he didn't move. Despite his own significant size, he was dwarfed by Lewis on the best of days and he knew, weakened by pain, Lewis could easily enforce this confinement.
"This is insubordination," Liam commented sternly, testing the waters.
Lewis nodded, a small smile on his lips. "Aye, captain." Liam sank back into the cot, glaring at Lewis.
"Is he alright?"
"Few torn stitches," Lewis admitted, "from trying to get away. Surgeon's patching him back up now."
Liam's head fell back against the pillow and he draped an arm over his eyes. "We have to fix this, Lewis, it will kill us both."
"Not if ye'd keep to this cabin and let someone else look after Killian."
"I can't do that."
Lewis nodded, unsurprised, "Ye can today. Because I'm not moving from this chair till sunrise. So best get some sleep. Nothin' better to do until the morning."
Liam had to admit, he did feel better after sleeping. The pain in his chest never completely subsided but he found it a comfort more than anything else, a constant reminder that so long as he felt that burning Killian was still here. He hadn't run… or worse.
Unfortunately if didn't mean Killian was doing well. He should have known something was wrong when Lewis released him from the cabin a full two hours before he'd intended to, after a brief whispered conversation with the surgeon that made Liam's heart clench despite not being able to catch the words.
He rushed back to his cabin and found Killian awake but listless, flushed with fever in the dim lamplight.
"Oh, Killian-" Liam murmured, kneeling next to his brother again, and taking the flask of water that the surgeon had been trying to get Killian to drink for the past hour without success. "Killian, you must drink."
"Get out," Killian murmured, "Liam, get away-"
"Drink this, please," Liam begged, pressing the flask to Killian's lips until they parted slightly. He helped Killian to drink until he pushed it away, coughing. "You have to finish it."
"You have to go-" Killian whimpered.
"Not a chance," Liam retorted. "Killian-" His voice trailed off as Killian's eyes rolled back in his head, falling limp in the cot. Liam called the surgeon in, trying to keep the panic from his voice. The surgeon brought towels and cool seawater, cooling Killian's skin until his eyelids began to flutter again.
"Get Lewis," Liam ordered the surgeon when Killian began to wake. When Lewis entered the room Killian was still fighting for consciousness and Liam struggled to keep his voice calm. "Make for the capital," he ordered quickly. "Killian may need more help than we can give him here."
" 'M fine," Killian murmured, batting away the damp towel Liam was still pressing to his temple when he woke.
"You're burning up, Killian," Liam objected, as Lewis left to carry out his orders. "Can you drink some more?"
Killian shook his head stubbornly. " 'M sleepy, papa," Killian protested weakly, his eyes not quite focusing on Liam, "the light went out and I was frightened."
Liam's stomach clenched and he wiped damp hair from Killian's eyes again. "Stay awake, Killian, please. Don't sleep now." He raised the flask to Killian's lips again. "Just a little more, come on-"
"I don't want it" Killian protested weakly, in his feverish state sounding so like the child Liam had once known that Liam almost smiled despite his fear. His smile dropped instantly when Killian suddenly went stiff, his eyes rolling back and limbs thrashing about madly.
"No-" Liam whispered, he slipped behind Killian to get a better grip on him, trying to hold down Killian's thrashing arms before he hurt himself. "Killian please…"
He knew it was risky, holding Killian so close when he had no control over his movements, but he dropped his head to Killian's shoulder anyway, breathing prayers into his little brother's skin, desperate for Killian to know he wasn't alone. Maybe if Killian could hear him, could feel he was there… maybe he'd come back.
Then, abruptly, the pain he'd been ignoring since he entered the room came back with a vengeance and the pain drowned out everything else.
When Killian came to, it was to the sound of Liam's agonized cries from behind him, his entire body tensed. Killian scrambled away from him, trying to get as far away as possible, but he was weak and still feverish and exhausted. He was slow. Far too slow. Abruptly, Liam's screams faded, gone utterly silent in a moment.
For a moment, Killian thought it was okay, that he got far enough away. But that wasn't how Liam's screams have faded before. It was never that fast from screams to silence. Liam was always still tense, gasping for breath, writhing with the pain he was struggling not to voice. But now, Liam had gone completely silent and completely still in the space of seconds.
Turning around from his scrambling desperation to get as far away as possible Killian's stomach dropped. Liam was boneless and pliant, his eyes open but seeing nothing. Killian called his name desperately, trying to wake him without touching him without success.
It was Lewis who arrived first, who clapped a hand consolingly on Captain Killian Jones's shoulder and who brushed his other hand lightly over Liam's eyes, closing them. It was Lewis who pried Killian's fingers apart, and gently lifted Liam's body from the bed, telling Killian that he'll handle the preparations, and come get him when it's time to stitch him in.
Killian reached out a tentative hand to Liam's still form, half expecting his brother to wake with a cry of pain."Why didn't you let me leave?" Killian whispered. "Why didn't you let me die on that rack?"
"I'll take care of him now, captain, and we'll give him back to the sea together."
"He wouldn't let me leave before. I can't leave him now," Killian insisted.
"You're not leaving him, lad. you're keeping him alive in the planks of his ship."
In the end it took a dose of poppy that Lewis drugged Killian with to get him to calm while they were preparing Liam's body. Lewis knew that a new captain never gets much sleep and neither does family mourning a loved one. Now Killian was both. The crew couldn't lose both Jones brothers, and Killian was still so ill.
Killian didn't put up much of a fight, there was nothing left to fight for. (Besides, Lewis was a superstitious man, and he knew for a fact Liam would haunt him mercilessly if he didn't look out for his boy.)
Killian would rather be locked in the brig than wake up in the captain's cabin, with Lewis watching him sadly from the desk. " 'e's waiting for you to finish up with his sail."
Killian had seen Liam a lot of ways. Sad, happy, angry. Sick, tired, feverish, nightmare riddled and peacefully sleeping, looking almost young with the premature lines of worry washed away in the light from the windows in his cabin. He'd never seen him like this. He almost can't recognize his brother in the body laid out in the shroud. "It should be you, lad," Lewis said finally, "He'd want to know that it was you who took care of him at the last."
Lewis did well with him, Killian noted distantly, a foggy haze coming over him when Lewis shut the door gently. The jacket of his dress uniform was pristine and bright; without blemish or wrinkle. Liam would like that.
Killian's fingers shook nearly uncontrollably as he started to stitch, the pointed end of the needle slipping so many times and leaving little pinpricks of blood in its wake. He almost wanted to start again, to find fresh cloth so that Liam's resting place would be perfect, but he can't. He needed Liam to have that little part of him with him, now that he'd gone where Killian can't follow. He's shaking with the effort of not breaking down completely, of not sobbing over his brother's corp… over his brother until his task is complete.
Liam always told him that the harder they worked, the sooner they'd finish. it's the latest in a long list of tasks he never wanted to finish, But there was only so much sail to sew, only so much left of his big brother, his protector, his only family. and before he's ready, there's only the sail over Liam's face to close in. He has to do this last honor for his captain. He'll make Liam proud of him, even if it shatters what's left of his scarred heart to do so.
But he needs to do one thing for his brother, too. One thing he would have given anything to be able to do while his brother still lived. The tears fell without leave, further staining the cloth and then slipping over his brother's forehead. Before sewing that last bit of sail, he leans forward and places a kiss with the tears on his brother's forehead, that stupid little curl that Liam never could tame soft under his lips. "I love you, big brother."
Killian didn't notice the wave of magic that swept out from them, too lost in his own grief. But he sure as hell noticed what happened next.
"Killian?"
He'd thought his tears were all dried up, but at the sound of Liam's voice they sprang once again into his eyes. "Liam?" Liam shifted to wipe the tears away but found himself trapped. "What the devil-" He looked down in surprise, his eyes shifting quickly from confusion, to understanding to worry. "Oh Killian-"
It took Liam a few moments to realize the critical detail that he wasn't in pain. He was a little cramped from the fact that he was stitched tightly in a stiff sail, but the pain from the curse was gone, even though Killian was right there. Still Killian was being careful not to touch him, utterly torn between the need to run and the need to grip his fingers in Liam's pristine dress uniform and never let go.
He settled for something in between, splitting the sail open carefully, ripping through every one of those damn stitches. Liam makes the next decision for him, sitting up and taking Killian in his arms with a sigh of relief. Neither of them have the foggiest idea of how but neither of them really care, as long as they are both safe.
Killian buried his face in Liam's shoulder, shaking now from relief rather than grief, and laughter mixes in with the sobs. Liam, thrilled to see that those damned gloves are long gone, buried his fingers in Killian's hair and pulled him tight, resting his cheek on the crown of Killian's head and breathing easy for the first time in what felt like forever.
Waking up stitched into a sail was among the least pleasant experiences Liam had ever had, but he knew he had it easy by comparison. He saw that in Killian's eyes, felt it in the way Killian clung to him desperately, felt it in the damp cloth of his uniform when they pulled apart. He couldn't even imagine having to stitch Killian up like that, the very thought made him more nauseous than any storm ever had.
Ther was a knock and Lewis called from outside, voice worried. "Captain? Are you- do you need anything?" Both Jones brothers answered the call, Killian blushing furiously when he realized what he'd done.
Lewis was pretty sure that Killian had snapped because he didn't sound right and so he just came right in. "Captain, are you sure you don't-" Lewis started, then froze, going pale so fast Liam was quite certain he was going to pass out.
It was against every instinct Lewis had when he stepped forward, still worryingly pale "Liam?"
Killian had known they were close but he was quite certain he'd never heard the stiff older sailor call Liam by name.
"Aye, it's me," Liam assured him. He knew that Lewis was superstitious and wasn't exactly surprised by this tentative reaction.
"You bloody bastard!" Lewis exclaimed abruptly, wide smile softening his language as he crossed the room to clasp his captain's shoulder. "Don't ye ever do that again, ye hear me?" Killian had definitely never heard Lewis give Liam an order either but Liam seemed unsurprised by the outburst.
"I will try not to be poisoned in Wonderland again," Liam promised, flashing Lewis a grin.
"You'll not be setting a bloody toe in that godsforsaken realm ever again." Killian growled.
"Aye aye, captain," Liam teased "I always said you'd be a fine captain some day."
Killian wasn't so sure, seeing as he spent his entire time as captain either drugged or crying. "I'll follow you to the ends of the earth, brother, not the other way 'round, if you please."
There was a sudden jarring of the ship, as though they'd struck something and all three jumped to attention, scrambling for the ladder topside to see what was going on. It took Liam a moment to finish cutting himself free of the sail and Killian and Lewis beat him up the ladder. Suddenly the ship was eerily still, no longer rocking underfoot and there was strange cracking from below. Killian was looking out over the water with unconcealed surprise at a woman in blue striding across the now frozen over surface of the ocean like a goddess of the deep.
"What the devil-" Killian started, glancing at Liam who was, inexplicably, grinning.
"Killian… I'd like you to meet Elsa, Queen of Arendelle."
"LIAM JONES!?" her voice came on the sea breeze like hail, biting and harsh and Liam's smile dropped slightly.
"Don't put away that sail just yet, aye?" Liam said and Lewis jabbed him hard in the shoulder.
"Do not jest about such things, ye bloody fool!"
By the time she drew close enough for them to see properly the entire surface of the ocean was frozen and Liam dropped overboard to meet her. The cold anger that had been simmering in her voice a moment ago fizzled out and she sighed in relief.
"I had… I had the most horrible feeling," she admitted quietly, "I thought something had happened to you. I thought-"
"I'm sorry," Liam interrupted quickly. "Killian, he needed me. I got word he'd been arrested, I barely made it in time as it was…"
She nodded. "I'd have done the same thing, if it were Anna. Are you… are you certain you're alright? I felt… I felt the most peculiar certainty that you were in terrible danger."
"I was." Liam admitted, cockcking his head to one side, "You felt that?"
Elsa nodded. "I don't … I don't wish to feel that again."
Liam nodded, taking her hand and kissing it gently, "I never intended to cause you distress-"
Elsa huffed, exasperated, and tugged him closer, kissing him soundly while he was still off balance. The sound of cheering from the ship brought a warmth to his cheeks that he hoped desperately Killian was too far away to see. When she pulled away, blushing a little herself, he grinned.
"Elsa… There's someone I'd like you to meet and then… perhaps you might consider giving me my ocean back?"
She grinned, a staircase up to the deck of the ship appearing with a flick of her fingers. "Perhaps. If you're very very good."
People said her eyes were like ice. They were wrong. Her eyes were like the mountain spring, the rapid clear waters from melted snow far above and they sent both chill and warmth right to the tips of his fingers.
He glanced past her to where Killian was standing at the rail, watching him with raised eyebrows. Without his volition his cheeks warmed again and he could see the amusement in Killian's eyes.
He was never going to hear the end of this.