Disclaimer: I don't want to own iCarly.
A/N: This is my first story on here. I don't write much, but my sis challenged me, so here we are.
She slams him against the hall, fury in her eyes and her teeth clenched, ready to kill him. The front of his blue polo tight in her fists, his fingers curled around her wrists. His eyes are cold, as though she has no effect on him, and he tightens his grip on her wrist, shoving her away from him. She stumbles back a few steps and glares at him, her hands still clenched in fists. He grins and straightens his shirt, moving toward her. She pushes him away, but he just laughs and hugs her, and he can feel her relax in his arms.
He cups her cheek and brings her face up to his, her lips soft and his split and bleeding. She pulls away with a grimace, dragging him to the kitchen and wiping the blood from his face with a paper towel. He smirks at her, his eyes locked with hers as she dabs his bottom lip, and she smiles slightly. "You're such a dork," she teases. He shrugs and leans forward, catching her lips with his. His hands rest on her hips, pulling her closer to him.
THUD!
Sam jumps a foot out of her seat and lifts her head off of the table. Carly's sitting on the opposite end of the table, arms crossed and a worried expression on her face. The blonde shakes her head to put her concern to rest, but her best friend won't hear of it. She knows something's wrong, whether Sam admits it or not. Sam still shakes her head and looks at the Algebra book that she abandoned in her sleep on the table in front of her and instantly becomes lost in the combination of letters and numbers.
After a few minutes, she gives up trying to decipher equations and glances at Carly, who's still watching her. The chocolate eyes are burning a hole into her own deep blue ones and she's going to go insane if she can't escape. "Hey, Carls, can I copy your homework?" she asks, hoping that she can disappear while Carly goes to her room to get it. She isn't that lucky, however, because Carly's homework is tucked into the binder in front of her.
Carly hesitates before handing Sam her notebook and holds it just out of reach of the blonde. She wants to know what is bothering Sam, and she's determined to find out. Sam gives her a pointed look, but it doesn't faze her best friend. "I'll let you copy it, although I shouldn't, if you tell me what's going on with you." Sam groans. "Come on, Sam. I know something is wrong."
Her friend sighs and crosses her arms. Lie, her mind tells her. Give her some excuse so she'll leave you alone about it. But Sam can't lie to Carly. She's never been able to lie to her, in all of their thirteen years of friendship. "I had a dream," she says quietly. "I had a dream about him, about how things used to be between us." Carly's eyes soften and she looks almost sympathetic. "I don't need your pity, Carly. I broke up with him, remember?"
Carly nods. "Yeah, I remember. I also know that it was the stupidest reason in the book. He was willing to hold a long-distance relationship with you, and you practically tore him to shreds over it." She sighs. "How could you do that, knowing it was already hard for him to accept that he wasn't going to be able to see you when he wanted to?"
Sam stands and slams her hands on the table. "How am I the bad guy in this? I know it's not his fault, but why the hell does it have to be mine? I'm doing this for both of us!" Carly can't speak; she only stares at her best friend in shock. Sam exhales and goes to her room, slamming the door behind her. She doesn't care that their neighbors will probably complain when she turns on her stereo and blasts a heavy metal CD. Carly doesn't understand anything about her decision in this and she probably never will. After all, it isn't the love of her life that's fighting in another country thousands of miles away.
She wakes up in his arms on a Sunday morning, smiling because it's there's no school today. Today was also her seventeenth birthday, and he had promised a special surprise for her. She decides to let him sleep and just stay in his arms for a while because every moment they spend together is special, even if they see each other every single day. She listens to his heartbeat, his pulse steady against her cheek. His breathing is slow and silent in his sleep, relaxing her, and she remembers a time when she would have hurt him for even considering dating her. Somewhere down the road she developed feelings for the boy and now he's all she ever thinks about. Plus ham. She grins at the thought of a nice honey-glazed spiral ham and nearly drools all over her sleeping boyfriend.
Her phone vibrates on the bedside table behind her and she sighs, ignoring it. After all, it's her birthday so she expects only texts saying so. It's the same thing every year so why should she give up one single happy moment she is to go through the same old thing? After a dozen vibrating alerts, he moves beneath her and she looks up at his face to find him staring at her. "Are you going to get that?" he whispers sleepily, and she shakes her head, planting a kiss on his lips. He smiles slightly. "We should probably get up. Today's going to be a long day."
She smiles and slips out of bed, hurrying to the bathroom before he can get there first, but he doesn't care. He's used to her wanting to be first at everything and he even made her his priority in life. Whatever number she is, she's first today. She emerges from the bathroom, wearing her spare change of clothes that she left at his apartment, and he kisses her briefly before disappearing into the bathroom. She checks her phone while waiting for him, and it's as she thought. Everyone wishes her a happy birthday, except the thirteenth text. Carly texted her to call her as soon as possible.
She dials her best friend's number as the brunette object of her affections exits the bathroom. "Sam…I…please…" Carly's crying incoherently and Sam tries to calm her down but it isn't working. She needs to go to Carly now, despite today was planned already. She hangs up and stares at Freddie sadly, but he understands. He pockets his cell phone and they hurry to the apartment across the hall to find Spencer holding a curled-up, sobbing Carly on the couch.
Sam rushes to the crying girl, enveloping her in a tight embrace. Spencer and Freddie talk quietly in the kitchen and the blonde hears certain words. Something bad had happened to Steven Shay. She ignores the rest of the conversation, concentrating on the emotional wreck of a girl in her arms, fighting back her own tears. Her eyes meet Freddie's and she knows what he's thinking. They've discussed it many times and this time she couldn't say anything about it. He could not be swayed.
Sam closes her photo album and sighs, leaning against her headboard. Three years had passed since he left and she couldn't stop thinking about him. She turns off her stereo and opens her bedroom door just as Carly opened the apartment door, her hand full of mail. The brunette hands her four envelopes before going to the kitchen with the rest. Sam glances at the senders and notices one envelope from him. She sets the three bills on her bed and opens his letter.
Dear Sam:
I know it's been a long time since I've written, but I haven't had a chance. Things have been happening left and right here and it's been nearly impossible to even breathe without something going on. Don't worry, nothing serious has happened to me, and I want you to know that I will be coming home soon. I hope that you'll have me when I return, even if it's just as friends. I miss you more than I miss Seattle or anything else in my life that I've had to leave behind, and I still love you. I never stopped, even if you did. Please understand that I won't be the same boy you once knew. I've changed in ways I don't quite understand, and all I know is I want to get the hell out of here.
What I do understand is everything we went through when I decided to do this. I knew it wasn't going to be easy for either one of us, but I needed to do it. When I first thought about this, I know it was because I wanted a steady future for myself and for both of us as we were. But on your birthday that year, when Carly and Spencer lost their father, it became about them too. I'm doing this for all of us.
I hope that you can forgive me for my final decision. I love you and happy birthday, whether you receive this on, before, or after.
CPL Fredward Benson
Sam sighs. Freddie says he's coming back, and she has no doubt that something did happen to him. He only said it isn't serious. Her twenty-first birthday was three days ago, so he wasn't far off from sending the letter to her. She folds the letter and sets it on her desk before tending to the other three envelopes. One is a birthday card and fifty dollars from Melanie, the second is junk mail, and the third is the cable and telephone bill. She rolls her eyes at the amount and pays by debit card online to get it out of the way. In the past she may have been responsible, but her promise to Carly when they decided to move in together was that she carries half of the financial weight.
There's a knock on the front door, and Sam stands in the doorway of her bedroom as Carly opens the front door. She steps back and glances at Sam, who can't see past the door. The blonde walks toward her and realizes what caused her friend to look at her. Standing in the hallway in full uniform is the one and only Corporal Fredward Benson, arriving just under an hour of his letter. Sam stares at him, her jaw dropped, and he looks at her in confusion, wondering if she got his letter. When she jumps into his arms, legs wrapped around his waist, he knows she did.
Carly pulls them into the apartment, grabbing Freddie's bag, and closes the door behind them. Sam's clinging to him with a death grip, and he's hugging her back just as tight, his face buried into her neck. She finally let go of him and he turns to Carly, giving her a long, gentle hug. "We just got your letters," the brunette says quietly, and Freddie nods slightly. His eyes return to Sam's and she notices the questions in them. "Do you want something to eat?" He smiles and nods to answer Carly and she goes to the kitchen to make something for him to eat.
Sam takes advantage of the moment, tracing the scars on his face and neck with her eyes, and he reaches for her hand. "We'll talk after you eat," she promises and he closes his eyes with a sigh. Opening them again, he sits down at the table in the kitchen and raises his brow at the open Algebra book. "I tried to do my homework myself but I can't do math," she chuckles. The corners of Freddie's mouth twitch and he looks at her with an amused expression. "At least I tried before I asked Carly to let me copy off of her."
This makes him laugh lightly. "You're never going to understand it if you keep copying Carly's homework." Sam misses his laugh and his voice after three years and he misses hers. They've been apart too long, but she knows he'll be leaving again soon. "How have you been?" he questions when Carly sets a plate in front of him. He examines the mashed potatoes, steak, and green bean casserole we had last night for dinner. "This looks good. Thank you, Carly."
"Thanks, Freddie. We had it last night. I hope you don't mind leftovers." Freddie grins before digging in. "I've been doing well getting paid for tutoring kids in middle school through high school. Most of them actually want to learn and some of them are there only because their parents signed them up. Spencer went back to law school last year and he's still at it. I guess he's determined to get a degree so he can become a lawyer and get his life on a steady path. He still does sculptures from time to time, and dozens of people have tried to buy them from him."
Freddie nods and looks at Sam, who shrugs. "I've been doing okay, I guess. I haven't gotten in trouble in a while and I even got a job waitressing at a steakhouse. The tips are amazing and the best part is that I get free food on my dinner break." He smirks because it's a typical Sam statement and she rolls her eyes at him. "Have you gone to see your mother yet? She calls occasionally to see how we're doing, but she's such a pain in the…"
"Sam!" Carly scolds. Both Sam and Freddie laugh at this because some things never change and they all know it. The only reason Mrs. Benson called anymore was to check on them and make sure they were still alive and that Sam wasn't in jail, which was unnecessary because Sam hadn't done anything remotely criminal in a year.
Freddie looks at Sam when he finishes eating. "Yes, I've been to see my mother. I saw her this morning when I flew in, and I wanted to surprise you and Carly before you found out I was back. She's expecting me back tomorrow morning, so would it be okay for me to stay the night here?" Sam knows the question is directed at her and she looks at Carly for her half of the permission. Carly shrugs with a nod and Sam smiles. She doesn't know what's going to happen tonight, but all that matters is that Freddie's back.
"Yeah, you can stay here for the night, but where you sleep depends on our conversation we're going to have." The pair looks at Carly with pointed looks and she rolls her head. She kisses Freddie's cheek with a loose hug and goes to her room, closing her door. Sam turns to the soldier and crosses her arms. "Do you want to start talking or should I?" she offers. He raises a brow and she takes it as 'ladies first'. "First of all, I want you to know that I forgive you for everything. I didn't break up with you because you chose to go into the military and fight, Benson. To be honest, I still love you. I never stopped, and I probably never will, but you have to understand that when you're gone, it's hard. These past three years, when your mother called, I was scared to death that it would be bad news. I prayed you would come back to me safely."
Freddie stares at her, swallowing the lump in his throat. "I only have a month here and then I have to go back." He bites his bottom lip. "That's the main problem between us. We have close to no time together, if you do want to get back together. I want to be in your life, even if it's not romantically, Sam."
"My decision has been made, Sam. I'm leaving as soon as I turn eighteen." He sits on his bed and holds his head in one hand, his cell phone pressed to his ear as close as it can get. Sam's crying on the other end of the line, knowing that there's a possibility that she can lose him. "I'm sorry. I love you."
"I love you too," she chokes, hanging up before he can say anything else. He hangs up and sighs, tossing his cell phone behind him on the bed. Their relationship wasn't going to be easy after this, not that it ever had been easy, and he knew now more than ever that they weren't going to be able to do this while he was gone.
Sam wakes up in Freddie's arms, frowning because she doesn't know what to do. Once upon a time they would have woken up with smiles and kisses, but this was different. Last night was different. She feels his heartbeat and his breathing is unsteady, and she realizes he's awake. His fingers trace circles on her bare back and she closes her eyes, close to tears. She doesn't regret last night, not at all. Freddie kisses the top of her head and she looks at him. "We don't have to do this, you know," he whispers.
Sam laughs. "It's a little late for that, don't you think?" He rolls his eyes and kisses her forehead. "I know, but I want to. We have an entire month while you're here and then when you come back again." He nods and Sam kisses his neck. "I love you, Benson." He smirks and pushes a stray hair out of her face, kissing her. All that mattered was the two of them at that moment in time.
Freddie holds Sam as close as he possibly can, her body wracking with sobs, as they say their goodbyes. He's already said goodbye to Carly and Spencer and Sam's afraid if she does say goodbye that he'll never come back. He kisses her hair and pulls away slightly to kiss her one last time. "I love you, Benson," she whispers, her sobs subsiding. He smiles sadly and kisses her forehead.
"I love you too, Puckett."He frowns as he steps away from her, throwing his bag over his shoulder and turning toward the bus. With a final wave, he's being driven from her life, and she has only Carly to lean on while she watches the bus go around the corner and out of sight. She already misses him and he misses her. This is going to be worse on their relationship than anything that had ever come at them.
Three years later…
Sam sits on the couch, her legs folded beneath her, watching some stupid TV show. She doesn't care what it is because she's distracted. She knows something's wrong, but she can't pinpoint it. Looking at the gold ring on her left ring finger, she sighs and turns off the TV. Grabbing her cell phone from the coffee table, she dials Carly's number because her best friend is at Bushwell Plaza with Spencer for the day.
Carly answers on the third ring and Sam can hear her voice breaking. Oh god, please don't be what I think it is. "Sam…Mrs. Benson….she said Freddie…" Sam can't hear the rest because her heart is pounding so hard in her ears. But she knows. She knows Freddie isn't coming back this time. "Sam, please come over," Carly whispers. Sam hangs up and holds back her tears until she reaches Bushwell Plaza. She takes the elevator to the eighth floor and enters 8C. Carly is sitting on the couch, curled up in a ball in Spencer's arms, much like she was when her father was killed.
Spencer holds out his hand and Sam takes the letter from him. She can't bear to read it, knowing it was her husband's last letter, but she knows she needs to. Something tells her to read it.
Dear Sam, Spencer, and Carly:
I love you, all of you. This letter is addressed to all of you because it will most likely be my last and it's the only one I can write. I honestly don't know if you'll get this because I'll probably be gone before it's even finished.
Sam, I want you to know that I love you more than anything in the world, as my best friend and as my wife. I tried to come back to you, but this time it won't be how we both want it. Stay strong for Carly and Spencer and for me. I never regretted one moment that we were together, and I don't regret all the moments we spent apart because I did it for you, for us. I love you.
The rest of the letter is for Carly and Spencer and is unfinished. Months pass before Sam lets even one tear pass and when she does it's late at night in her bedroom while she stares at a picture of herself and Freddie three years ago when he proposed to her. Carly had taken the picture for them. She feels sick to her stomach, but all nausea disappears when she hears a knock on the apartment door. She glances at the clock and sighs. Who would be knocking on the door at three in the morning?
There's another knock and she groans, sliding out of bed. Carly's standing in the doorway to her own room, staring at the door. The brunette never answered the door overnight, in case someone was trying to break in. Sam drags herself to the door and opens it, nearly losing her mind when she does. Carly chokes a sob behind her, but the blonde doesn't look at her. She's too focused on the ghost in front of her, the impossibility that this could even be happening. "How?" she manages in a tiny voice.
He has tears in his eyes and he looks like hell. Without a word, he pulls her to him and kisses her, his arms tight around her waist. She grabs his hand, pulling him into the apartment and closing the door. "I came back to you," he whispers, his voice broken as he kisses her over and over. He can't be here, Sam's brain is repeating.
"How?" she asks again.
"They captured us and tortured us," he explained. He went through everything that had happened, from the moment of ambush to their liberation, and he didn't leave out a single gory detail. When he was finished, Sam takes him to her bed and he falls asleep almost immediately. She watches him, happy that he's back, but scared that he isn't the same.
"I love you, Benson," she murmurs. And she knows that statement will be forever true. He shifts in his sleep and reaches for her. She slips into bed and into his arms and kisses his neck before falling asleep. There's nothing left to be afraid of. He's back in her arms and he'll never leave.
"I love you, Puckett," he mutters.
A/N: Thanks for reading. Reviews are welcome.
Also, if you're into Cam, you should check out my sister's stories Bandgrad2008.