Hera couldn't understand just how horrible things went on a simple supply run.
A supply run.
Those weren't supposed to be high risk. Maybe they would meet Storm Troopers and there would be blaster shots, at most Sabine letting off some artwork.
But no one was supposed to die.
Hera knew that the Empire was getting better at anticipating their moves and where they would go, they had no idea it would lead to one of her crew member's deaths.
So when she got the transmission, "Spectre 2, this is Spectre 1, we need a get away NOW!" so suddenly and in a voice of such desperation, she was jarred into action and moved the Ghost as fast as she could. She didn't think that her crew members would be under a massive attack that laid in wait for them. She had seen all the Storm Troopers following her crew members. She followed the lights of multiple firing blasters. She had seen Kanan and went towards him. She saw the crew behind some crates to take cover and she saw some blasters coming from them against the oncoming attack. They were a good amount away from the firing blasters, but there was too many to escape on their own and if they got any closer then there would be something to really worry about.
She didn't realize that there was still time to worry, that things would still go wrong.
She backed up as close as she could to where the members were. Kanan commend her to tell her to come closer or else they would be under fire, but she couldn't get any closer. But a little later she heard clamouring beneath her, but it was Sabine's scream that made her blood run cold. She couldn't show it though.
"Everyone in?" She asked Kanan, keeping her voice level, but she was cut off by him.
"GO! WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE SPECTRE 2!" Kanan yelled to her.
Following his command, Hera immediately closed the ramp and flew off from the oncoming firing. Her heart was still racing. Karan had never sounded that frantic before. She put the Ghost on autopilot when they were in hyper space to head back to Phoenix base, telling Chopper to watch the controls as she went to see the crew and ask them what happened.
But when she got down, she noticed that one of her members were missing. Hera took a deep breath, though it was shallow and she felt herself suddenly cold.
"Where's Zeb?"
Sabine was the only one who looked at her. Kanan was leaning against the wall, his arm against it and his eyes against his arm while Ezra was staring shocked at the ground. Their expressions said it all. Sabine stared up at her, lost for words. Her eyes were almost bloodshot as she stared up at Hera helplessly. Her eyes expressed fear and sorrow that confirmed the truth to Hera that she didn't want to believe from looking at Kanan and Ezra. But Sabine's complete defeated and sad expression was something that Hera couldn't deny.
None of them said anything for a moment. Hera stood there and stared at them, her gaze going between them. Kanan hadn't moved as he seemed to process everything. Hera noticed that Ezra's face hadn't changed but there were tears that were starting to drip from his eyes even though he didn't seem to be blinking. Hera's gaze fell on Sabine again and she saw that the girl's chin was starting to tremble as tears were coming from her eyes too.
Hera gulped. She couldn't feel anything inside her. She couldn't feel her stomach, she didn't even know if she was breathing. She didn't know what to say.
After a couple of seconds Hera nodded once before whispering, "okay." Her voice broke slightly and it was above a whisper but she heard herself say it. She didn't say anything more before turning around and going back up the ladder. She walked silently, almost mechanically back to the pilot's chair. She stood there, hand on the chair for a couple of seconds before she turned and lowered herself into it. She could hear Chopper talking to her, but she didn't really hear him. His beeping was more a background noise.
Hera sat there, hunched over slightly with her hands under her chin. The tears didn't come until then, and Hera barely noticed them as they formed and blurred her eyes, soft tears slowly moving down her skin as she took in the news fully.
Zeb was gone. She would no longer hear his booming laugh on the ship and she wouldn't hear him joking with Ezra and Sabine.
Chopper was getting annoyed with being ignored so he zapped Hera with a light shock. The green Twi'lek immediately was moved out of her thoughts and hit Chopper so hard he actually rolled back from the force.
"Stop it, Chopper!" She screamed in fury and frustration at him.
Both annoyed and confused by her actions, Chopper cursed in binary and spun around before going to search for what was wrong himself. This left Hera alone with the controls. She stared down at them, sniffling as she tried to clear her mind. When she heard the door open, she didn't need to turn or be a Jedi to know who it was.
"How did it happen?" Hera whispered, wiping her eyes to try and compose herself.
Kanan was frozen for a moment as he stared at her hunched form in the seat. He moved to sit in the co-pilot's seat before answering her, "he said he would cover us so we could get on the Ghost. He did, but they got closer and a couple were aimed at Sabine and I. He went in front of us. If he…"
Karan couldn't finish. Hera sighed and put her face in her hands. Of course. Of course that was how it happened. Of course Zeb gave up his life for them. It was the only way Zeb would accept his death without constantly rolling in his grave.
"I should have gotten there sooner." Hera whispered.
She heard Kanan get up quickly from the seat and move to her. He turned her seat and knelt in front of her, forcing Hera to look at him. Kanan peered up at her and told her, resting his hands on her knees, "Hera, this is not your fault."
"If I had gotten there sooner then…" Kanan cut her off.
"Hera, they were waiting for us." the Jedi told her, "they anticipated us being there, or at least in that spot or another because they called for back-up from the other place. We need to talk to Sato about this. Maybe we created a pattern, or they think we did, and they waited us out or we have a rat in the mix. But they were waiting for us to come, Hera. We didn't have a chance. For once the storm troopers got a lucky shot. Out of all those firing blasters of course we had close shots. When we were out in the open they had their chance…they got it."
Hera sighed. Maybe she could have moved the Ghost closer. She could have gotten to them sooner. She should have been more alert about their plans so that they wouldn't be going into a trap. She was the Captain. She should have made sure the crew was safe.
Kanan could feel her guilt flowing through her from the Force and he could see the look on her face.
"Hera," he said gently, moving to hold her hands that were holding her cheeks. She stared down at him and looked into his eyes. She could see the sadness in them too, "it was his time. And you know he wouldn't have wanted to go any other way. His people would have been proud of him, Hera. It gave up his life for his family and went down in a blaze of glory. I think I even heard the dramatic music in my head."
He wanted to end in a small joke to hopefully make her feel better. He got the reaction he wanted as Hera let out a small snort and a soft laugh. Hera closed her eyes for a couple of seconds before opening them again. She stared down at Kanan and sighed. There was hurt in his eyes as well, a longing sadness she knew wouldn't go away for a while either as they grieved for their friend.
"How are Ezra and Sabine taking it?" Hera asked him.
Kanan thought for a moment before he admitted, "not too well. Sabine said she was going to her room. Ezra just ran off before I could talk to him but he is pretty upset. I think he's hiding in the vents somewhere."
Hera sighed and leaned into his one hand. She told him, "I'll go talk to Sabine."
Kanan nodded, "I'll contact Sato and tell him about the run since I was there. I'll have more details than you can give."
Hera nodded. They stared at each other and squeezed each other's hands tightly before letting them go. Hera and Kanan both got up and they left to do what they needed to do. Kanan went to set up the hologram while Hera moved towards Sabine's room. She looked down the hallway but didn't see Ezra anywhere. Her eyes stopped on Zeb and Ezra's room for a moment and she feels her shoulders drop slowly before she pushes the thoughts out of her head. When she stopped outside Sabine's bedroom she could hear soft sniffling. Hera frowned and opened the door. She stood there for a couple of seconds as she looked in the room and Sabine could look down at her. Hera saw the Mandalorian looking smaller than she has ever seen her despite being on the top bunk of the bed. The girl was holding a pillow to her chest, eyes red and cheeks wet as she softly shook in soft cries.
"Oh, sweetie." Hera whispered before moving up the ladder to get to the top bunk. Sabine still stared at her and watched her as the Twi'lek came up to the bunk. Hera carefully crawled over to the girl and wrapped her arms around her. The Mandalorian leaned into her, sniffling a little harder and hugging the pillow tighter to her chest.
"I'm so mad at him." Sabine whispered to her, her voice shaking and small.
Hera held her close, resting her chin on Sabine's head. Sabine kept crying, her shoulders shaking with each soft sob. Hera told her, gently rubbing her back as tears fell down her own cheeks, "it'll be okay."
Sabine shook her head, more tears coming down as she forced her eyes shut tightly.
"He's not coming back. I'm so mad at him because he's not coming back. Why did he have to do that, Hera? Why did he have to give up his life for me! How dare he leave us! Karabast, why did he do that! I'm so kriffing mad at him." Sabine whimpered, her voice shaking with her body.
Hera let in a breath to try and soothe herself, but it didn't work. Her tears ended up coming faster so she closed her eyes, holding Sabine closer to her.
"You'll be okay." Hera whispered to her, "we'll be okay."
"Why did he have to do that, Hera?" Sabine asked in a whimper, her shoulders still shaking.
"Because he loved us more than he loved himself." Hera told her after a couple of minutes.
Sabine's shaking got worse and she cried out once before hiding her face in her pillow. Hera didn't know how long she held Sabine for, but it felt like the she and the young girl were sobbing for hours. Hera felt so helpless. She didn't know how to help her. Zeb wasn't coming back and he died in front of her. So she did what she could do, take care of Sabine. She held Sabine, crying silently herself.
When she heard the door open, Hera looked up and saw Kanan standing there.
"Uh, Sato wants to talk to you." Kanan told her.
Hera sighed and Sabine looked up to look at Kanan as well. Her shoulders were no longer shaking as hard and it didn't look like she had any new tears, but her face and eyes were still waterlogged.
"Where's Ezra?" Sabine asked him.
Kanan sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.
"He's in the vents." Kanan told her, "he won't talk to me."
"I'll try and talk to him," Sabine told them, pulling away slightly from Hera and her pillow, "I still fit enough to crawl around in them."
Kanan nodded and watched as Sabine slowly came down from her bunk. Hera followed and wiped her own eyes.
"Tell Sato I'll speak with him in a moment. I just want to…go to the refresher." Hera told him.
Kanan nodded and moved back to talk to Sato on the hologram.
Neither Hera nor Sabine commented to each other. Instead, they just walked to where they needed to go. Hera wiped her eyes before going in the refresher. She turned on the light and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red and she had some tear stains down her cheek. She quickly wiped her eyes again and took a tissue to rid her cheeks of the stains. She wanted to look a bit more presentable to Sato, but she knew that her eyes would not go un-red for a while. For now, there was not a lot she could do. So, she took a deep breath and braved herself for the questions.
~.~
She wasn't talking to Sato for long before she went out to find the others. Chopper was holding in the controls, but she figured he wasn't ready to talk to her just yet after her outburst. So she went to find Kanan and was surprised to see him sitting in the hallway close to the eating area. He was sitting on the ground, back and head against the wall. When Hera walked over, he turned his head to look at her and brought a finger to his lips, indicating for her to be quiet. She nodded and sat beside him. She raised her eyebrows to wordlessly express her confusion and Kanan pointed up. Hera's face twisted, but she did look up and she listened. Soon enough she heard voices coming through the opening of the vent.
Hera looked at Kanan accusingly. She didn't like that they were spying on Ezra and Sabine talking. Karan quickly saw this in her features without her needing to say a word. He answered her in a very low whisper, "I just want to make sure that they are okay. I'm pretty sure they know I'm here anyway."
Hera didn't answer him. She stood there for a couple of moments before she sighed, sitting next to Kanan. She didn't feel right about eavesdropping on Ezra and Sabine's conversation, but she did also want to make sure that the two would be alright.
Hera was quiet and leaned her head on Kanan's shoulder.
"Maybe he is alive! I didn't see him get shot." she heard Ezra's shaking voice say in a tone of desperation. She could hear in his voice that he had been crying for a while.
"But I did, Ezra." Sabine told him gently, "he got hit five times. And you saw him fall. Ezra, there isn't…"
Sabine sniffed again. Hera felt her heart breaking for them again. They lost a close friend, a brother-type figure today.
"He might be alive!" Ezra said desperately.
"Ezra, you'd feel him wouldn't you?" Sabine asked him, her voice very gentle.
There was silence for a moment. She knew that Ezra was thinking about the idea and letting that confirmation sink in. Finally, Ezra whispered to her: "maybe it's because we are far away…"
"Ezra don't keep doing this to yourself." Sabine told him gently, "please."
Ezra was silent again. Hera sighed and closed her eyes, listening to the two talk.
"…I didn't even see the blasters coming for him. I-I turned to go in and…and then you screamed his name. I turned around and he's already falling…" Ezra whispered.
"He's gone, Ezra." Sabine whispered and Hera could hear her voice shaking again.
"I should have stopped it! I'm a Jedi! If I had only focused…" Hera could hear his voice rising, desperate anger coming out in his tone.
"There isn't anything we could have done. It went by so fast." Sabine told him, "and what could you have done? Make a shield with the Force? Hold off the blasters? Move Zeb away so it hit you or Kanan and I?"
"I don't know!" Ezra told her and Hera could almost hear the tears running down his cheeks, "I should have done something."
"It happened, Ezra." Sabine told him, being a bit more firm in her voice, "it happened and we can't change it."
There was silence again before Hera heard his broken voice, "I never got to say goodbye."
Hera moved to take Kanan's hand and she squeezed it. Kanan squeezed her hand back as the two felt for their younger members. Kanan had decided that he heard enough. He whispered to her, "I'll start some food. Maybe that will help us."
Hera nodded, letting go of Kanan's hand as he left to the kitchen area. Hera stared after him for a moment before looking back up at the vents above. She closed her eyes, listening to them again.
"I miss him too," Sabine said, her voice soft.
"This is different from when he was missing…" Ezra whispered, "I didn't think it could get worse than that."
"I know what you mean." Sabine answered.
Hera sighed and got up herself and she went to help Kanan. When they were ready they would come down.
~.~
The supper was the quietest that they've ever had. Karan and Hera had made a stew, putting random bits of everything together. After setting the table, feeling a spur of sadness in her heart when she almost placed a bowl in the spot Zeb usually sat at, Hera moved to the bottom of the vent they were in. She was going to leave them by themselves, but after hours they were still in the vent. She could hear them talking still, their voices soft murmurs and she couldn't hear specific words, but she could hear them talking and she hoped that was a good thing.
However, they needed to eat. So after she called up to them, they came down a couple of minutes later and the four of them forced themselves to eat the food.
No one had spoke and no one finished a bowl and every so often everyone would take glances at the empty seat almost as though they were taking turns. After not even two minutes Hera wondered if getting them to eat in the kitchen was such a good idea. She could see Sabine and Ezra's faces. Both were puffy from crying and their eyes were still red. She felt for them, but not knowing what to say to make them feel better.
She didn't say anything when the two went back out, placing their bowls in the sink and leaving silently again. Kanan and Hera looked at each other and sighed at the same time. It would be their first night without their friend and she knew that would be hard to get through. Kanan finished what he could of his bowl before mumbling about going to meditate. Hera barely got out a goodbye before he left. Staring after him, the Twi'lek sighed. Maybe she should go to bed early.
So, after cleaning the dishes and cleaning them, she went to check the controls before going to bed, not seeing or hearing Sabine and Ezra anywhere. She hoped that Ezra would get in some meditation time as well. She had never really tried it herself, but Kanan and Ezra always seemed to feel better after they meditated.
After getting into some old clothes, Hera got comfortable in bed, keeping an ear out for Ezra and Sabine, but she barely heard even whispers.
After about an hour, Kanan made his way to her. Hera turned over slightly when her door opened. She saw Kanan there and she raised an eyebrow as he moved to lay in the bed with her. They did share the room the most of the time, but she would have thought he would be in his 'Jedi Room' and stay with Ezra.
Kanan kissed her shoulder before laying down behind her, wrapping his arms around her. She knew that Kanan wanted closeness and comfort too, but she didn't like the idea of Ezra being alone on their first night without Zeb.
"You're not staying with Ezra?" Hera asked quietly.
She could almost feel his confusion behind her.
"He wasn't with me." Kanan told her. "Why would you think that?"
Hera immediately turned around to face him. She looked at him and answered, "Kanan, he's not in his room. I thought he went to spend the night with you. You are his mentor."
Worried for his Padawan, Kanan quickly got to his feet and Hera followed him. He went to Ezra and Zeb's room first and opened the door to see that the kid wasn't there. Hera frowned and went to Kanan's room to see that he wasn't in there either. The two adults looked at each other and Kanan could feel her worry rising. Neither of them liked that Ezra seemed to vanish into thin air.
"Maybe he slept in the common room." Kanan told her, hoping to calm both her and his fears.
The two quickly went out to the couch but found no sign of him. Hera moved towards the eating area to see if he was still up but he wasn't. soon the two were walking all over the ship, going to every seat in the ship, including the pilot and co-pilot's seats. They also checked the supply room to see if he found a place in there, but found nothing.
"Could he be in the vents again?" Hera asked Kanan.
"Maybe." Kanan agreed.
"I'll ask Sabine. Maybe she's seen him." Hera told him, heading towards the teen's room.
"I'll ask Chopper." Kanan answered.
Hera was soon in front of the teen's door. She was going to knock, but she doubted that Sabine would hear it. So, she decided she would gently shake her awake to ask the question so that Sabine wouldn't leave her bed.
However, when Hera looked into Sabine's room and she was glad that she didn't speak first when going in or knock at the door to try and wake her. She was met with a sight that instantly warmed her heart. She sighed and whispered, turning to look at Kanan down the hall where Kanan was looking for Chopper, "Kanan, love, I found him."
Kanan immediately walked over and looked in the room as well. His shoulders dropped with relief and a smile tugged at his lips. Hera and Kanan looked in the room to see Ezra and Sabine sleeping together in Sabine's bunk. Both seemed sound asleep. Hera sighed with relief before silently walking over. Kanan followed her, a small smile on his face as well. Hera looked a little closer to see that both of them looked a lot better than earlier, even with still puffy cheeks and slight tear stains. She wondered if it was because they found comfort in each other and walked with each other. But she was glad that Sabine wouldn't let Ezra sleep alone.
Hera carefully moved the blankets that both were under and over it up over their shoulders so they would stay warm. Hera knew that both were in deep sleep when neither light sleepers stirred with the change. Hera sighed and Kanan rubbed her back.
"They'll be okay for the night." Kanan whispered.
The first night was supposed to be the hardest. Hera remembered that when she lost her mother. But the two teens were sleeping soundly. They would be okay. Hera nodded and the two went back to her room to hopefully get some much needed sleep themselves.
~.~
The next morning was a little better. Hera was the first to wake up and with the silence she knew that Chopper had docked them in with Phoenix Squad, or were at least no longer in hyperspace. Hera turned over to see Kanan laying there, still sleeping soundly. She smiled to herself. He always had the cutest sleeping face.
Deciding that she should get up, Hera carefully moved out of his arms and out of the bed. She got dressed quickly and left the room quietly, leaving Kanan to sleep in. She moved down the silent hallways and felt a sense of longing. The hallways were silent. Over the years she had gotten so used to Zeb's snoring and moving on the bed to make it creak like background noise that she considered it part of a morning 'silence' like with the fan or engine on. But this morning, the ship really was silent. There were no snores and no movements in the beds. It was like being in a room for so long with the fan on and then it turns off and there was this empty silence and echo. It felt so cold and made Hera feel more isolated.
She shook her head to try and get out of that mind before going to the mess area to make breakfast for everyone. She started a pot of caf and began to cut fruit up and make everyone's favourite breakfast. Maybe it would make up for the fact that…well that there would be an empty seat this morning like there was last night. That this large purple being wouldn't be bounding in with tired movements and making jokes with them this morning.
She heard Chopper roll into the room. turning around, she saw him keep his distance from her in case she snapped at him again like last night. Hera gave him a small smile, "Hey Chop…did you dock us?"
He made some warbling noises and Hera nodded. She took a couple of steps forward and leaned down. The droid moved back a bit and Hera sighed.
"Chopper I'm sorry about yesterday. That wasn't fair to you." Hera told him.
He made some angry warbles and Hera told him, "you're right. And I'm sorry we didn't tell you. I was surprised."
There was a bit of silence and then the warbling continued. She told him, "I am sorry. It won't happen again. If it makes you feel better it did hurt a little."
The warbling, continued and when he mentioned the food, she looked over her shoulder and nodded, "yeah. Hopefully it will help the spirits around the Ghost. Has Sato or anyone else sent any messages yet?"
Chopper answered and Hera nodded. Sato wanted to speak to her and Kanan soon about what happened and the idea of a spy or double agent in the rebellion. She wouldn't have a lot of time. She had enough time to at least make the breakfast and have a cup of caf before going.
"The others are still sleeping, so don't wake them, alright." Hera told him.
He made warbled noises before leaving to wherever. Hera smiled a little, feeling better about what happened and went back to making breakfast. Before she could get any further though, she heard someone else come down the hallway, turning as she heard the caf maker turn off, she saw Kanan in the doorway, also dressed for the day.
He looks over everything and tells her, "I see you've been busy this morning."
Hera gave him a smile and finished Ezra's breakfast. Kanan went to the caf maker and poured two cups as Hera told him, "Sato wants to speak to us at 0800."
Kanan moved to look at the time before handing her a cup of caf.
"We don't have a lot of time to finish this then." Kanan told her before taking a large gulp of the caf, "he needs both of us."
"I'm the Captain and you can offer a lot of information since you were there." Hera explained, letting out a content sigh after taking a sip of the caf and feeling the warmth move through her veins. She looked at Kanan and told him, "I don't like that they would wake up and eat alone either."
"Hopefully they will sleep in and we won't be too long." Kanan commented, "but I'll leave a note."
Hera nodded and quickly finished her caf. She told him, "I'll start to head in and I can buy you some time in case they do wake up."
He nodded and gave a small wave before she headed out. Hera went past Sabine's room, listening carefully to see if she could hear anything, but there was no sound coming from the other side. The hallway was still pretty quiet, but she tried to push that out of her mind as she went to the next ship.
Surprisingly, she saw Ahsoka first.
She and the Togruta met in the hallway and she gave Hera a small smile.
"Oh, Hera! I was hoping to run into you."
The Twi'lek gave her a respectable smile back. Ahsoka walked beside her and asked, "where's Kanan?"
"He's on his way. He's just…checking some things over." Hera answered.
Ahsoka nodded and told her as they got closer to the bridge, seeing more people walking around, "I heard about Zeb, I'm really sorry. How are Ezra and Sabine?"
Hera sighed and looked back up at her, "They'll be okay, they just need a bit of time."
Ahsoka nodded and soon they were at the door to the bridge.
"Do you really think there is someone on here giving information to the Empire?" Ahsoka asked her.
Hera sighed and shrugged, "maybe…I don't know. Maybe they are getting better at where we are going, but they were waiting for them with large numbers. They were pretty sure we would be around."
Ahsoka nodded, opening the door and Hera saw the large group waiting for her.
~.~
The meeting and discussion took longer than she had planned. After Kanan came there was hours of discussion and when he left for just the more higher up people to discuss a plan of action, that took more hours out of her day. It was important to discuss what happened and the idea, however her mind kept going back to the ship to see how Sabine and Ezra were doing.
So when she was finally able to leave, everyone let her go without another word. Hera made her way back to the Ghost quickly. She prepared herself to hear more soft voices and crying, but instead when she made her way closer to the common-room area, she heard something she had really missed over the past 24 hours:
Laughter.
She heard the three familiar laughs of Ezra, Kanan, and Sabine, loud and happy. She stopped at the doorway, listening in to what they were laughing about.
"Remember when we were on Hoth and he started that snowball fight?" Ezra giggled and Sabine laughed.
"We got soaked! He had an unfair advantage!" Sabine agreed, "he could make snowballs about the size of our heads and he expected us to dodge them!"
"Remember when he nailed Chopper?" Ezra laughed, "the droid was buried!"
"It was completely unfair. Half the time we were buried instead of trying to retaliate!" Sabine agreed.
"At least until Kanan came in," Ezra said the laughing between the three got louder, "and he uses the Force to bring up this cloud of snow off the ground and onto his head. Zen was completely buried under the heap!"
Hera smiled warmly as she heard her family erupting into laughter again. It was such an uplifting sound, one that was pure music and delight to her ears.
"Do-Do you remember wh-when he was running after Ezra when Hera was mopping the floor. Ezra jumped over it and you said 'can't catch me!', but he-he kept running says 'I can give you a Jedi tr-trick!' r-right before he slipped backwards and slid down the h-hallways and right into the w-wall?" Sabine asked, trying to get her words out through her laughter.
The other boys burst into laughter again. Hera smiled, giggling herself with a large smile on her face. She remembered that day. She had to lean on the mop to stay upright as she laughed and heard Sabine and Ezra laughing and looked down the hallway to see Ezra leaning against the wall and slowly falling down laughing. Even Chopper had seen it and was making warbled laughter as his head flew around and around. She couldn't remember what had caused him to run after Ezra, but the race ended with Zeb admitting defeat and laughing at himself.
"I remember that!" Ezra laughed.
"What about the time we were on Pantora and we were going to help this group of rebels to haul in some weapons but we got trapped from the Empire. We're going along in the old underground tunnels and we come across this old pillar with some artwork that was beside a gorge. The one girl kept going on and on about the different craftwork and how long it must've taken to make…And Zeb gets his Bo-Rifle and knocks it down. The Pantorians looked at him horrified and Zeb's just like 'What? I thought I would make us a bridge'." Kanan told them.
Sabine almost howled in laughter. Even Hera let out a louder giggle, pressing her hand over her mouth to try and stifle some of it. She didn't know if the crew knew she was there, but she didn't want to interrupt if they didn't. She did remember that day. Zeb looked at them so innocently and the Pantorians were so offended. And it was even worse when all of them were trying not to laugh in front of them.
Hera sighed with content. She had so many good stories of Zeb too. She smiled when thinking of him and hearing the laughter as Ezra went into a story about how one time on a night off they went to this club for Ezra's first drink and Zeb got hit on by a couple of guys.
This what Zeb would want. He wouldn't want them to be sad; he would want them laughing with memories of him.
Hera let out a content sigh, a smile still on her face before going back to the pilot's chair to take them to Lothal.
~.~
It wasn't until the next week when Hera really noticed a change. Sabine and Ezra were still sleeping together in Sabine's room, but there was less crying and soft whispers. There was more talking among dinner times and she found Sabine and Ezra smiling a little more whenever her and Kanan made a joke. They spent the past days on Lothal, having some time for themselves away from the larger rebellion and people so they could work on healing themselves.
But one night when she was going about to go to bed and check on everyone else, she saw Zeb and Ezra's room was open. Stopped mid-step, staring at it. That room hadn't been open for the whole week. Era took clothes that were out of the room already to clean and kept reusing them. So she was surprised to see the room that everyone went silent when they passed it open.
Cautiously, she walked towards the room and as she got closer, she heard soft sniffling and hurried her steps a little. When first turning the corner to look inside, she saw that Ezra was laying on Zeb's bunk, wrapped up in one of the blankets. Hera felt like someone punched her in the chest when she saw his back, but knew he was crying. She imagined the puffy cheeks and red eyes.
Hera took a couple of steps inside and moved closer to the bed.
"Ezra?" she asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.
Ezra at first didn't answer. Hera looked around as she waited for him. She saw the artwork Sabine made on the wall and it made her smile, giggling as she remembered when Sabine was making it while the two boys were out on a run. She joked how she was glad it wasn't her room being spray-painted. Looking around more, she saw some of Zeb's clothes on the ground and some of his other things casually placed around the room. It looked exactly as it had a week ago before the event occurred.
Finally, Ezra whispered, "I thought it was time for me to come back and sleep in my own room."
Hera sighed, moving to gently rub his shoulder. Ezra twisted and turned in the bed so that he was facing her now. She saw the red, wet eyes and felt her heart break for him again.
"Sweetie you don't have to do anything you aren't ready for." Hera told him.
"I'm ready." he told her.
"Are you sure? I can stay in here with you."
"You sound like Sabine. I'll be okay. I just…it's weird to not see him around. And then I came in here and…" he sniffled again, crying again, "I always joked about how he smelled but…"
His voice shook as his crying got a little worse. He sniffled more and tried to regain his voice, "…it's all I want to smell now. So I've been here, trying to take it all in before it goes away."
Hera felt her own eyes start to gloss over. She sighed and told him, moving a hand through his hair.
"I don't think Zeb would mind. Remember how he would let you or Sabine sleep with him when you had a bad cold. He was the warmest of all of us and wanted to help you two feel better." Hera told him.
Ezra smiled, nodding. After a couple of moments, he frowned again, wiping his eyes.
"I miss him. I keep expecting him to walk up the ramp or hear his voice yelling as Chopper zaps him." Ezra whispered.
Hera nodded, stroking his hair again.
"I miss him too. The Ghost is too quiet without him." Hera admitted.
Ezra nodded, "I wish I recorded him snoring. I always told him it was annoying, but it always helped me go to sleep."
Hera sighed.
"There is a lot we will have to get used to."
"I know. I just miss him."
"We all do, and will for a while. But it will get better."
"I know."
Hera gave him a smile. she moved out of the bed and told him, "if you need me, you can get me, alright."
"I know. Thanks Hera. Goodnight."
Hera nodded, smiling and looking back at him, "goodnight, Hera."
Although Ezra told her that he was fine, every couple of hours she would wake up and check on him. But every time, Ezra was sleeping soundly in the bottom bunk, the blanket wrapped around him. It would make her smile. It was a big step and Ezra was handling it well.
But it was about two days after that where everyone got another surprise.
Hera heard Sabine get up early in the morning and could smell the hair dye, but over the years and after the many times Sabine had dyed her hair, she didn't think much of it. Kanan and Ezra woke and the three of them were sharing breakfast when Sabine walk slowly into the room and made everyone freeze instantly.
Hera saw that her hair was now a white with light girl looked nervous, for the first time to show off her hair, for their reactions.
"I…I miss seeing purple around here. So…I thought…" Sabine started to try and explain herself, but Ezra cut her off.
"You look great," he told her.
Sabine smiled and looked more hopeful as she sat at the table, a smile on her face again. All of them had missed seeing purple around the ship, but Sabine was the only one to really do something about it. And the purple looked good on her.
Hera looked around the table and back at the spot where Zeb would have been.
Her family would be okay.