The Warped Adventures of Terry

Written by: Luster

Just for the record, I do not own any part of Dragon Warrior Monsters. Enix (I believe) does. But hey, it would be great if I did. I would be making a bunch of money... But anyway, I don't. And by the way, this story is really, really risky. I would be incredibly amazed if it actually gets up onto the site. This story is meant to be humourous and that's all. Thanks for your time. :)

Cast:

- Terry: The main character. The story basically revolves around this kid. Terry isn't the sharpest crayon in the blender, if you know what I mean. Uh, you do know what I mean, right? Well to be blunt about it... Terry is a moron. But Terry isn't all about stupidity. Oh no! Terry has a few secrets up his sleeve...

- Slib: Terry's first monster. Slib is just a Slime. An ugly blue Slime monster. No one really cares about Slimes all that much because they are so boring. But hopefully Slib will add something to the story. Slib is Terry's right-hand-man. He is always there to help out the team and... well, he's the brains of the group. Slib gets beat up for it too so there's no need to worry!

- Merg: Merg is Terry's drug-addicted MadDragon. Merg is even stupider than Terry is. That could be because of his addiction to crack and a bunch of other illegal drugs. Merg disappears quite often to go smoke or do whatever he does and he thinks no one knows about his addiction. Tsk tsk, crack kills.

- Caxx: Caxx is Terry's CatFly. Yeah, CatFlys aren't very interesting either and Caxx is very aware of that fact. So aware that he trys as hard as he can to be the center of attention every waking second of his miserable life. Maybe it wouldn't have been so miserable if he just hadn't accepted that PorkChop Terry gave him in the Mystic World and joined the team... What an idiot!

- Tom the Yeti: Tom follows Terry and the gang on all of their quests and he was never once invited to. Tom tags along in the back and thinks that the four of them actually like him when in reality, they don't! Terry hasn't made a Yeti monster as a friend yet, but he doesn't plan to unless he meets another Yeti... a less annoying one.

- Watabou: Watabou is the protector of GreatTree. Well, not really. The Watabou that was the protector died years ago. Now GreatTree is basically screwed because this Watabou is a complete idiot. Watabou isn't seen all that much as he usually stays in the Monster Stable chowing down on that huge ass piece of meat in the middle of the room.

- Zoma: Zoma is the crazy bad guy. Gone completely crazy over time, Zoma has been trying to kill Terry and everyone he knows and loves for the past few years. Terry isn't exactly sure as to why he is being hunted down but Zoma has his reasons...

- Dicky: Being the Master Monster Tamer's first name, Dicky has been ridiculed for his ridiculous name ever since he was in grade school. Well, ever since the other students figured out that his name is really dirty. Dicky is an old man. An old, sex crazed man. Dicky enjoys having wild and crazy butt sex with his whore wife, Pussy. Oh, and in his spare time, he breeds monsters together to make them have eggs and what not.. Blah blah blah..

- Pussy: Dicky's sex crazed, slutty wife. Pussy is the old psychic lady who just stands around in the middle of the Town Bazzar. Pussy is always trying to get a cheap feel on anyone and everyone who strolls by her. Terry especially. But she makes it very obvious that she doesn't come cheap.

- King of GreatTree: The self-proclamed "ruler" of GreatTree. The King does nothing but sit around on his fat, lazy ass and tells Terry what to do all the time. With the help of his little court jester.. things, the King can do whatever the hell he wants to do. The King is also a pedophile but the children in GreatTree Kingdom try to overlook that...

- Milayou: Milayou is Terry's older sister. You know, the one who got kidnapped by Warubou in the beginning of the game. Oh for god's sake, go play the game again! Anyway, Milayou likes to have sex but she isn't a whore or anything so don't get any thoughts! She does have a bunch of STDs, though. Her motto is "If you got it, flaunt it!" And that's exactly what she does with her STDs... and she gives them as Christmas presents.

Chapter 1

"Come on, Terry! Get to bed! You know what Mom says happens to little boys who stay up past their bedtime!" Milayou stared into her younger brother's eyes and tried to make it look as if she was a respectable role model for her sibling.

"They get carried away by monsters!? How cool!" Terry exclaimed.

"Uh, no. She says crazy old prison men will come to our house and rape you!" Milayou said trying to keep a straight face.

"Nuh uh! You're freakin' stupid, Milayou. That's just what you want to happen." Terry growled at his sister. Milayou started to blush. She couldn't help it if she was a who... I mean, if her hormones were raging.

"Terry! Oh my god! Just get to bed, please!" With that, Terry crawled into his bed. A few seconds later, Milayou crawled into Terry's bed with him. "Hey baby, you're lookin' good tonight!" Milayou flirted.

"Oh my god! What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Terry shoved her out of his bed and she landed on the ground with a loud 'thud!' "You're my freakin' sister! Oh my god!"

Milayou got up and smiled. "Just trying to keep it in the family, bro!" Milayou proceeded to get into her own bed.

Moments passed. Terry was asleep by now and beginning to snore. Milayou, of course, was masturbaiting and hadn't even closed her eyes to start going to sleep.

"Why use this dinky little thing," Milayou pulled the family's dog out from under the covers, "When I can get the real thing... Heh." She quietly got out of her bed and stepped on the violated dog's tail. The dog let out a loud yelp. "Dammit! Stupid dog!" Milayou picked the dog up and drop kicked it across the room. Terry turned over in his sleep. "Oh! Oops!" Milayou tip-toed over to her brother's bed and attempted to climb in with him. All of a sudden, Warubou popped out from Milayou's bra.

"What the hell was a Mystic Portal doing in there?" Warubou yelled. He was quickly greeted with a 'shh!' from Milayou. "Oh dear lord, what the hell are you doing, Milayou? Are you trying to get free sex from your brother? Weirdo."

Milayou looked over at him. "For your information, I'm not trying to get free sex from him. Why would I get it from him when I know I could get it from you. Or that dog over there..."

Warubou raised an eyebrow. "You are so freakin' nasty. Come on! Were going to the Kingdom of GreatTree."

"Why?" Asked Milayou.

Warubou rolled his eyes. "Because we just are." Milayou crossed her arms. "Honestly, I don't know why we're going to GreatTree. We just need to move this story along. Okay? Is that what you wanted from me?" The disgruntled Warubou grabbed Milayou by the shirt and dragged her over to the dresser drawer.

"Ohhh! Warubou! I never knew you were so kinky! Here, let me take this annoying shirt off for you..." Milayou shrieked.

"Oh my dear god! Just get in the dresser!" The two of them hopped into the dresser drawer and headed towards the Kingdom of GreatTree.

Terry, who is still sleeping like a lazy ass bum, hadn't heard any of the commotion that had just went on just a few feet from his bed. Hours passed when finally Watabou climbed out of the dresser drawer.

"Ahh! Terry! Why the hell do you allow Milayou to keep her sex toys in your dresser? Just so you know, I would have been here to get you a hell of a lot sooner if it hadn't been for those damn anal beads getting the drawer stuck! I almost died in there!" Watabou screamed through the house. Terry turned over in his sleep. Watabou walked over to him and patted him on the back a few times to attempt to wake him up.

"Wakey, wakey, eggs and bacey!" Watabou whispered. He continued to poke Terry's back. "Oh my god. This damn kid sleeps like a brick!" Watabou walked over to the far end of the room, grabbed the molested dog, and smacked Terry with it. "Wake the fuck up, dumbass! We need to get to GreatTree sometime THIS YEAR!"

Terry rolled over again. Watabou, who was completely fed up with the circumstances at hand, started to walk back over to the dresser drawer. "Fuck that kid. He can get his own ass over to GreatTree. Screw him." Watabou walked through the room and accidently stepped on one of Milayou's teddy bears that seem to be thrown about the house and it let out a quiet squeak.

Terry rolled back over and opened his eyes. "What was that noise, Milayou?" Watabou looked over at Terry and his jaw dropped.

"You piece of sh..." Watabou started but was quickly interuppted by Terry.

"Watabou! Holy hell! It's been a while since I've seen you!"

"No, I've never even met you before. The Watabou you met a long time ago died years ago. Heart attack from pooping. Kind of embarassing if you ask me. Now let's get our asses over to the Kingdom of GreatTree, dammit! Your monsters are waiting for you!"

And with that, Terry and Watabou climbed into the Mystic Portal in the dresser.

Blink, blink Yeah, so that's chapter 1. You better have enjoyed it or else I'll... ehh, I won't do anything. :P But don't worry, the next chapter won't be so boring and it gets a heck of a lot more riskier, trust me. :D Please read and review. I will accept all critisism, I love it! :)