bullets make my heart bleed blue
AU
becktorijade
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i. It is summer and the end of senior year and plans are being made but no one knows it they will keep. There is a girl and a boy - a couple, mind you - who wish to go to college together.
"I didn't get into Julliard," she tells him acerbically. "They thought my audition was too 'dark' or something."
"Well, crap," the boy says.
"Don't whine. We'll just go to Yale together."
He pales a bit. Time to come clean; he knows that she'll kill him, though. "I . . . I didn't apply for Yale, Jade," he says. "I was so confident you'd get into Julliard . . ."
"What? You didn't apply?" she screams in that temperamental way of hers that the boy loves at any moment but this.
"No. I don't see what you're making a big deal out of this for. We'll just go to different colleges."
This causes her to scream, "We were going together!" and storm off. He knows she'll get over it, though. Her drama is part of the reason she is such a great actor; part of why he loves her.
. . .
She ignores him for three days. He thinks it's a little much; wonders why she is going at such lengths to avoid him.
When they finally do meet again, he gets the ball rolling by saying, "Why are you ignoring me?"
She throws her hands in the air, as if he's mental and she has to explain things three times. "This is the rest of our life, Beck! We promised we were going together! What am I supposed to do a million miles away?"
His arms encircle her waist, pulling her close, as if she is something so dear he could not bear to part with it. "We'll make this work." He kisses her - and maybe it tastes a bit too much like broken promises.
. . .
They leave and go away to their respective states. They run away and never, ever look back. Behind them is a trail of blood and tears that reek of pain.
ii. Her first semester, she auditions for a part in a tragedy about a girl who gives everything to a boy who does not love her.
The irony is not wasted on Jade West.
( She does not get the part. )
. . .
On his first day, Beck Oliver is singled out due to his "talent" or lack thereof. ( Secretly, he thinks it is because his professor is gay and has a crush on him, though he mentions it to no one and no one mentions back. )
He is suddenly performing with important people in the audience, watching him, seeing him at his best; mingling with people that like him well enough; thinking that maybe, just maybe, this place could become home.
[ But, lovey, don't they say home is where the heart is? ]
. . .
They slowly, slowly try to forget about another. ( Falling in love, now that's easy, but it's the fallout you have to watch out for. ) They become preoccupied with their studies; school; rise to stardom.
[ So why does the boy look into every pair of eyes and find them blue? Why is it the girl cannot watch Aladdin anymore? ]
They pretend it's working.
iii. The girl reaches Hollywood - for real this time; not just because of a school with weird teachers and petty, sparkling, stars - almost the minute she steps out of school. She is offered a part and suddenly she has a name that's known and fans and an agent and a manager.
Her rise to fame could not be more fitting; it is sudden and swift and suits her like her name.
( Jade West isn't some wannabe anymore; oh, no, dear heart, now she's the one you wanna be. )
. . .
The boy gets shot down a few times. Then he starts dating the pop star - toritoritori vega - who mends his wings crookedly. ( She never was a healer, anyway, and the boy doesn't care. )
All of a sudden he is getting offers from people left and right. And to think, Beck Oliver relying on a girl(friend) for a lift onto the pedestal. ( It must be too bad he's afraid of heights, then. )
But all he's doing is looking down and thinking, this is where i'm meant to be. And he's not talking about with the girl on his arm.
[ 'Cause don't you know ashes ashes we all fall down? ]
iv. Someone she meets at a party asks her out. The girl has yet to work with him and - now that she has refuses his advances - doubts she ever will. Oh, well. It doesn't really matter to her all that much.
But then she's starring in a movie with him in it. Suddenly she is staring at the boy and the earth comes crashing down.
[ oh little twinkling star, why did you fall from my sky? ]
. . .
The boy didn't date the singer because he liked her. Rather the opposite, in fact.
She reminded him of the girl. Too bubbly, though; too happy. Hollywood has yet to dull her glow. Still, she smells of high school and the past and she doesn't know he still likes Jade but he does.
He wakes one day and finds out he's co-starring with her and can't quite remember auditioning, but who cares? Suddenly, life finds meaning again.
[ looks like london bridge isn't falling any time soon, love ]
v. This is the first time the girl has heard of this; of beckandtori. Wasn't it just yesterday that he asked to go for coffee?
"Oliver!" she screams, and the crew has the good sense to back away slowly. "Why didn't you tell me about this?" She gestures to the magazine cover; the flamboyant picture.
"You mean you didn't know? What happened to the girl who knew everything about her boyfriend and his antics?" he mocks.
"Get this into your thick head, Oliver: I'm not your girlfriend, and the day you cheat on Vega for me is the day I die."
"I'll keep that in mind," he says. She leaves angrily, because this is Beck Oliver and surely he can come up with a better answer than that. He lets her leave.
On the floor, a magazine reading: "Bori engaged? With their love life blossoming, the time is coming soon for Beck Oliver and Tori Vega!" is left behind.
[ we're all just three blind mice set in a death trap ]
. . .
The boy tries to remember at exactly what point his life became so fucked up. He traces the nuisance back to his senior year. He wishes he could go back, but he can't.
He convinces himself that he's happy with Tori. He wishes he hadn't, because now he's in love with two girls.
He lives for one and breathes for the other. The problem is trying to figure out which is which. BeckandTori; BeckandJade. They both sound good; he's just trying to figure out which one sounds right.
Beck Oliver knows he's a bit fucked up, because he's still waiting for that wishing star.
[ remember that airplanes will never be your wishing star, honey ]
. . .
They don't end up together. ( if you were looking for a fairy tale, you'll have to travel farfar away from here )
She didn't think they would. He had hoped so.
He marries his girlfriend and the girl has a boyfriend now that kinda looks like Beck - but only if you squint.
Their movie rises to the top, because it is a romance and their experience together makes them the best. There is tension, though, and that might be what makes it a hit.
( They finish their relationship the way they started it - with fire. )
[ tick, tock, the mouse says your time's run out ]