Case #4: The man who was killed by a spork! Snicker
... = Actions '...' = Thoughts
Scene opens in a dark room, we see a person (a.k.a. detective Kelly) sitting in her chair typing on her keyboard
Kelly- pecking at keyboard Damn! I lost another one!
Secretary walks in
Secretary- Anything wrong ma'am?
Kelly- Yea...I lost another one!
Secretary- Another one? Ma'am when are you going to learn that you can't beat the computer at checkers!?
Kelly- Hey! I can dream can't I??
Secretary- Anyway... I have a Mr. And Mrs. Mori here. They would like to speak to you about their son.
Kelly- All right send them in. 'I need to blow off some steam on a case anyway'
Secretary- ok hold on I'll send them in.
Mr. And Mrs. Mori walk into room
Mrs. Mori- Hello. Sniffle we would like you to help us.
Mr. Mori- you see our son was...murdered!
Random person- DUN DUN DUUUUUN!!!
Kelly- Who was that?
Mr. Mori- I don't know!
Kelly- Riiight... anyway! Where was your son...Murdered?
Random Person- DUN DUN DUUUUUN!!!
Kelly- ...
Mr. Mori- He was found at the back of McDonalds.
Mrs. Mori- When they found him there was a metal spork near him, close to the wall. And they said that he had been stabbed with it because there was blood all over it and the wall!
Kelly- blink blink ... a spork??
Mr. Mori- Yes
Kelly- Okay then! Were there any fingerprints on the...spork chuckle ... or did they not do that yet?
Mrs. Mori- No, they found no fingerprints.
Kelly- scribbles something in her "notebook" (which we all know is really a coloring book) Ok... Do you have any suspects?
Mrs. Mori- Yes... His friend Joey (suspect #1), who supposedly got fired from his job at Fuzzy World so our son Peter could get a promotion.
Mr. Mori- His softball coach Tim (suspect #2) , who was angry at Peter for making them lose the championship game.
Mrs. Mori- The cook at McDonalds Mike (suspect #3), who got ticked because our son said that there was a ball of hair in his soup...
Kelly- HAIR??? Ewwwww that's REALLY GROSS!!!!
Mrs. Mori- I know isn't it though?
Mr. Mori- Anyway... The last suspect (suspect #4) was his wife's ex-boyfriend Bob, and even though he got married he still hated Peter! Boy, somebody tell that man to LET IT GO!!!
Kelly- Ew ew ew ew hair shudders Oh! Right sorry!
Mr. Mori- So... can you help us?
Kelly- pops out of chair OF COURSE!!! They don't call me "THE GREAT DETECTIVE KELLY" for nothing ya know!
Mr. And Mrs. Mori- blink blink
Kelly- Ok first I'll have to know how old he was.
Mr. Mori- 30 years old.
Kelly- Ok. Now where did he live?
Mrs. Mori- With us.
Kelly- ok. With yo- wait... he was 30 years old and he and his wife lived with you?? Man can you say moocher!
Mrs. Mori- growls
Kelly- Oh sorry. Ok I'll right up a quick report and then I'll start on the case right away!
Mrs. Mori- Oh thank you SOOOO much!!
Kelly- Well it is kinda my job... hey by the way how much are you paying me?
Mr. Mori- 2 dollars an hour.
Kelly- mouth drops open THAT'S IT!? Man you people are cheep!
Mrs. Mori- Wanna get paid at all?
Kelly- All right, all right I'll get started!
Narrator- Then after Mr. And Mrs. Mori left "detective" Kelly began her journal log.
Journal- Case #4 ...don't ask... Day one... I went to Chuckie Cheese today, but that's not part of the case, although I did find this odd reddish substance in my bowl... I think it was Hormel Chili! ICK!! Anyway after my date at Chuckie Cheese I went to the site where Peter was...murdered-
Random Person- DUN DUN DUUUUUN!!!
Kelly- ...anyway!
- murdered with a spork! Giggle and I took the a sample of the blood that was on the wall and brought it to my now "portable lab" (a.k.a. my car) and found out that there were two different blood types on the wall. Types AO and OO. So now my theory is that the murderer-
Random Person- DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!!!
Kelly- WILL YOU SHUT UP!!!!
Random Person- Yo G! A homeboys got to get some credit in this thing!
Kelly- Oh YEA?? Well guess what! Word to your mama!!
Random Person- Oh now wait just 1 darn minizzle! You did not just say what I think you said!
Kelly- And what if I did?
Random Person- Oh girl! Then I'm gonna have to bust a cap in yo ass!!!
Kelly- LISTEN HOME DAWG! DON'T GET ALL UP IN MY GRILL!!!
Random Person- EEP! Cowers behind couch Word! I'll leave, but don't worry I'll be back G!
Kelly- Oh just shut up already! Anyway like I was saying!
...The Murderer must have cut himself when he pulled out the oh so deadly...SPORK! Snicker and then the two bloods got splattered onto the wall! MAN I'M GOOD!!!
Kelly- does some sort of victory dance OK! Now I just have to find out who murdered him. UGGH! More work! Oh well there is something that I must do before anything else! Runs over to computer and pulls up checker game
1 Minute Later
Kelly- throws hands up into air I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!! I LOST AGAIN!!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaah!!!
Narrator- Right ok now onto the next day...
Next Day- Journal Day 2- Case #4 I'm not gonna go into too much detail but I finally beat the computer in checkers!!
Narrator- No you didn't you beat it with a stick until it started malfunctioning and made an error!
Kelly- Oh shut up you!
Narrator- No!
Kelly YES!
Narrator- No times infinity infinity lock no backsies talk to the hand!
Kelly- DAMN YOU!
Narrator- smirk Now go on and tell them the important stuff!
Kelly- What important stuff?
Narrator- ABOUT THE MURDER CASE YOU MORON!
Kelly- Oh yea! Ok!
Continuation of day 2- Well somehow I got the blood types of every suspect's parents, wives, and kids! I also finally found out who killed Petey boy! So now after 2 months I'll have this done!
Narrator- but you just wrote down that today was only day 2.
Kelly- Yea well... I wanted to make it seem like it only took 2 days to finish the case, so that people would think I'm smart! Sweat drop
Narrator- You really are a moron!
Kelly- Hey! Pouts Well I have to go to court, so I can present my answer to the judge and tell him how I figured it out!
Narrator- Ok CYA!
Kelly- Bye Bye!
...At Court...
Judge- Ok Mrs.... um...
Kelly- You can just call me the world's best detective!
Judge- glare
Kelly- Or Kelly is just fine to! Hehehe
Judge- Ok so tell us what you found out...Kelly.
Kelly- Ahem! Well Petey boy had some enemies! But you see sir I have already found out that JOEY...
Joey- takes deep breath and holds it
Kelly- Is not guilty! Joey- lets out breath DON'T DO THAT TO ME!!!
Kelly- Hehehe sorry I couldn't help it! Right anyways... Mr. Mike! YOU KILLED PETER MORI! YOU ARE THE MURDERER!! Aren't you!! AREN'T YOU!!!
Mike- Yea I admit it! I did it! But how did you find out?!
Judge- I was just wondering the same thing!
Kelly- Well you see Mr. Mike here had "accidentally" dropped a ball of hair into Peter's soup and Mr. Pet-
Everyone- HAIR!? EEEEEEEEW!
Kelly and Mrs. Mori- I know!!
Kelly- Anyway... After Mr. Mori (Peter) complained. Mikey got fired! So after Mr. Peter ate NON-hairy soup and left the fast food place Mikey pulled him into the alleyway and whipped out his spork, cutting his own face in the process, and leaving some of his own blood on the wall. Then he stabbed Petey in the heart squirting even more blood onto the wall! And so I compared the blood types of all the suspects and wrote down my notes on this sheet of paper hands Judge paper and found that it was Mike's blood that was on the wall! Grin
Mike- And I would've gotten away with it to if it weren't for you meddling detectives!
Narrator- Ahem!
Mike- Oh yea, and your narrators to!
Narrator- Thank you!
Narrator- And so another case was solved thanks to the OH-SO-Smart Detective Kelly who is now looking desperate for candy canes! There I said you were smart now hand over the 20 bucks!
Kelly- hand narrator $20
Narrator- And so ends our case! So join us next time on....
DETECTIVE KELLY! Random person-DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!!!
Kelly- HEY! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!
Random person- GAAAH!!! runs away
Kelly - COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE !!!!!!!!!! cases after him
Narrator- slaps forehead and sighs
CAST Detective Kelly- Kelly F. Narrator- Michelle B. Mike- this creepy old McDonalds dude that scared me by thro---- ....I'll stop there! Random person- those little voices in my head The rest of the cast- well..... I guess who ever wants to be in the story can be in the cast!
... = Actions '...' = Thoughts
Scene opens in a dark room, we see a person (a.k.a. detective Kelly) sitting in her chair typing on her keyboard
Kelly- pecking at keyboard Damn! I lost another one!
Secretary walks in
Secretary- Anything wrong ma'am?
Kelly- Yea...I lost another one!
Secretary- Another one? Ma'am when are you going to learn that you can't beat the computer at checkers!?
Kelly- Hey! I can dream can't I??
Secretary- Anyway... I have a Mr. And Mrs. Mori here. They would like to speak to you about their son.
Kelly- All right send them in. 'I need to blow off some steam on a case anyway'
Secretary- ok hold on I'll send them in.
Mr. And Mrs. Mori walk into room
Mrs. Mori- Hello. Sniffle we would like you to help us.
Mr. Mori- you see our son was...murdered!
Random person- DUN DUN DUUUUUN!!!
Kelly- Who was that?
Mr. Mori- I don't know!
Kelly- Riiight... anyway! Where was your son...Murdered?
Random Person- DUN DUN DUUUUUN!!!
Kelly- ...
Mr. Mori- He was found at the back of McDonalds.
Mrs. Mori- When they found him there was a metal spork near him, close to the wall. And they said that he had been stabbed with it because there was blood all over it and the wall!
Kelly- blink blink ... a spork??
Mr. Mori- Yes
Kelly- Okay then! Were there any fingerprints on the...spork chuckle ... or did they not do that yet?
Mrs. Mori- No, they found no fingerprints.
Kelly- scribbles something in her "notebook" (which we all know is really a coloring book) Ok... Do you have any suspects?
Mrs. Mori- Yes... His friend Joey (suspect #1), who supposedly got fired from his job at Fuzzy World so our son Peter could get a promotion.
Mr. Mori- His softball coach Tim (suspect #2) , who was angry at Peter for making them lose the championship game.
Mrs. Mori- The cook at McDonalds Mike (suspect #3), who got ticked because our son said that there was a ball of hair in his soup...
Kelly- HAIR??? Ewwwww that's REALLY GROSS!!!!
Mrs. Mori- I know isn't it though?
Mr. Mori- Anyway... The last suspect (suspect #4) was his wife's ex-boyfriend Bob, and even though he got married he still hated Peter! Boy, somebody tell that man to LET IT GO!!!
Kelly- Ew ew ew ew hair shudders Oh! Right sorry!
Mr. Mori- So... can you help us?
Kelly- pops out of chair OF COURSE!!! They don't call me "THE GREAT DETECTIVE KELLY" for nothing ya know!
Mr. And Mrs. Mori- blink blink
Kelly- Ok first I'll have to know how old he was.
Mr. Mori- 30 years old.
Kelly- Ok. Now where did he live?
Mrs. Mori- With us.
Kelly- ok. With yo- wait... he was 30 years old and he and his wife lived with you?? Man can you say moocher!
Mrs. Mori- growls
Kelly- Oh sorry. Ok I'll right up a quick report and then I'll start on the case right away!
Mrs. Mori- Oh thank you SOOOO much!!
Kelly- Well it is kinda my job... hey by the way how much are you paying me?
Mr. Mori- 2 dollars an hour.
Kelly- mouth drops open THAT'S IT!? Man you people are cheep!
Mrs. Mori- Wanna get paid at all?
Kelly- All right, all right I'll get started!
Narrator- Then after Mr. And Mrs. Mori left "detective" Kelly began her journal log.
Journal- Case #4 ...don't ask... Day one... I went to Chuckie Cheese today, but that's not part of the case, although I did find this odd reddish substance in my bowl... I think it was Hormel Chili! ICK!! Anyway after my date at Chuckie Cheese I went to the site where Peter was...murdered-
Random Person- DUN DUN DUUUUUN!!!
Kelly- ...anyway!
- murdered with a spork! Giggle and I took the a sample of the blood that was on the wall and brought it to my now "portable lab" (a.k.a. my car) and found out that there were two different blood types on the wall. Types AO and OO. So now my theory is that the murderer-
Random Person- DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!!!
Kelly- WILL YOU SHUT UP!!!!
Random Person- Yo G! A homeboys got to get some credit in this thing!
Kelly- Oh YEA?? Well guess what! Word to your mama!!
Random Person- Oh now wait just 1 darn minizzle! You did not just say what I think you said!
Kelly- And what if I did?
Random Person- Oh girl! Then I'm gonna have to bust a cap in yo ass!!!
Kelly- LISTEN HOME DAWG! DON'T GET ALL UP IN MY GRILL!!!
Random Person- EEP! Cowers behind couch Word! I'll leave, but don't worry I'll be back G!
Kelly- Oh just shut up already! Anyway like I was saying!
...The Murderer must have cut himself when he pulled out the oh so deadly...SPORK! Snicker and then the two bloods got splattered onto the wall! MAN I'M GOOD!!!
Kelly- does some sort of victory dance OK! Now I just have to find out who murdered him. UGGH! More work! Oh well there is something that I must do before anything else! Runs over to computer and pulls up checker game
1 Minute Later
Kelly- throws hands up into air I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!! I LOST AGAIN!!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaah!!!
Narrator- Right ok now onto the next day...
Next Day- Journal Day 2- Case #4 I'm not gonna go into too much detail but I finally beat the computer in checkers!!
Narrator- No you didn't you beat it with a stick until it started malfunctioning and made an error!
Kelly- Oh shut up you!
Narrator- No!
Kelly YES!
Narrator- No times infinity infinity lock no backsies talk to the hand!
Kelly- DAMN YOU!
Narrator- smirk Now go on and tell them the important stuff!
Kelly- What important stuff?
Narrator- ABOUT THE MURDER CASE YOU MORON!
Kelly- Oh yea! Ok!
Continuation of day 2- Well somehow I got the blood types of every suspect's parents, wives, and kids! I also finally found out who killed Petey boy! So now after 2 months I'll have this done!
Narrator- but you just wrote down that today was only day 2.
Kelly- Yea well... I wanted to make it seem like it only took 2 days to finish the case, so that people would think I'm smart! Sweat drop
Narrator- You really are a moron!
Kelly- Hey! Pouts Well I have to go to court, so I can present my answer to the judge and tell him how I figured it out!
Narrator- Ok CYA!
Kelly- Bye Bye!
...At Court...
Judge- Ok Mrs.... um...
Kelly- You can just call me the world's best detective!
Judge- glare
Kelly- Or Kelly is just fine to! Hehehe
Judge- Ok so tell us what you found out...Kelly.
Kelly- Ahem! Well Petey boy had some enemies! But you see sir I have already found out that JOEY...
Joey- takes deep breath and holds it
Kelly- Is not guilty! Joey- lets out breath DON'T DO THAT TO ME!!!
Kelly- Hehehe sorry I couldn't help it! Right anyways... Mr. Mike! YOU KILLED PETER MORI! YOU ARE THE MURDERER!! Aren't you!! AREN'T YOU!!!
Mike- Yea I admit it! I did it! But how did you find out?!
Judge- I was just wondering the same thing!
Kelly- Well you see Mr. Mike here had "accidentally" dropped a ball of hair into Peter's soup and Mr. Pet-
Everyone- HAIR!? EEEEEEEEW!
Kelly and Mrs. Mori- I know!!
Kelly- Anyway... After Mr. Mori (Peter) complained. Mikey got fired! So after Mr. Peter ate NON-hairy soup and left the fast food place Mikey pulled him into the alleyway and whipped out his spork, cutting his own face in the process, and leaving some of his own blood on the wall. Then he stabbed Petey in the heart squirting even more blood onto the wall! And so I compared the blood types of all the suspects and wrote down my notes on this sheet of paper hands Judge paper and found that it was Mike's blood that was on the wall! Grin
Mike- And I would've gotten away with it to if it weren't for you meddling detectives!
Narrator- Ahem!
Mike- Oh yea, and your narrators to!
Narrator- Thank you!
Narrator- And so another case was solved thanks to the OH-SO-Smart Detective Kelly who is now looking desperate for candy canes! There I said you were smart now hand over the 20 bucks!
Kelly- hand narrator $20
Narrator- And so ends our case! So join us next time on....
DETECTIVE KELLY! Random person-DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!!!
Kelly- HEY! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!
Random person- GAAAH!!! runs away
Kelly - COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE !!!!!!!!!! cases after him
Narrator- slaps forehead and sighs
CAST Detective Kelly- Kelly F. Narrator- Michelle B. Mike- this creepy old McDonalds dude that scared me by thro---- ....I'll stop there! Random person- those little voices in my head The rest of the cast- well..... I guess who ever wants to be in the story can be in the cast!