Joey was cool and all. Craig was glad he was getting the house to himself and all, but it made him nervous, too. With the guys over something was bound to go wrong. It was easier at his dad's, in a way. No one was coming over and that was that. Home at six o'clock for dinner. There were less variables. With Joey he didn't know much, what would piss him off and what would make him yell and if anything would make him hit him. With his dad he knew.
The kidding. Joey had a real light hearted fun side and his dad really didn't. His dad could be cool, too, but it was more of a buying him stuff cool, not joking around. Craig didn't know how to take the kidding, since his dad never did it. He always thought he was serious, like after school when he looked all stern and said he never said he could invite the whole school over. Craig's heart started racing, sure he had screwed up.
And in an attempt to not screw up anything him and the guys were bored out of their minds, eating too many chips and donuts, a disgusting combination. But not quite as disgusting as watching Spinner ingest all that spray cheese. Was spray cheese even a food? Craig didn't know, but he watched the line of it go down Spinner's throat, watched Sean get super pissed at Marco for making him call Emma. But boredom meant not getting in trouble and this had always been the paramount goal of Craig's existence, to avoid trouble, to avoid his father's anger.
And even though he was bored it was okay, because he was getting to hang out with a bunch of his friends and not have to worry about curfews and his dad. Outside, sitting on the little porch against the rough brick wall, the timothy grass in his mouth tasting sweet, he commented on this.
"I like you guys," he said, but sort of meaning he liked them and he liked this, he liked not feeling so nervous, the low level of anxiety that gave him a headache almost every day for months and months when he lived at home.
"Are you gonna kiss us now?" Sean said, and Marco spat back, "Shutup," Craig smiled.
"No, it's just, having you all over like this…my dad would never have let me,"
"It must be real different being here, huh?" Sean said, and now it was sort of just a conversation between him and Sean, because Spinner and Marco didn't know anything about his father whereas Sean knew the extent of it. Sean knew about being ripped out of one environment and put in another one. He knew about people letting you down and hurting you over and over.
"Yeah, totally. It's like, with Joey, I can do no wrong,"
With his dad that was all he could do. He screwed everything up and even now he wasn't entirely sure that some of it, the belt and the beatings, that maybe some of that was his fault.
He told them about the car and their eyes lit up, they wanted to do that for fun, it was better than chips and donuts and spray cheese and with his dad he never would have. Never. Doing something of that magnitude would have resulted in the belt for sure. But it was Joey and they could probably get away with it and if they didn't then he would see, maybe…where Joey stood.
Still, he was nervous. More nervous than they were, because the stakes for him screwing up had always been higher. In the morning, before they were up he stood by the wooden box on the wall that held the keys to the dealership. He could hide them, say he couldn't find them, Joey must have taken them with him, too bad so sad. But a part of him wanted to take the car, wanted Joey to find out he took the car and then he would see what it was he was dealing with.
It was fun, driving like he was 16 or something, the guys laughing in the back, winning the tickets, Marco being so nervous. But then the cops drove up along side of him and he literally could not even breath. Jail. Arrested. Joey would send him away, he'd have to go back home and his dad would be justified, because he was trouble.
But it was okay. The cop didn't stop him, and he started to breath again, and Marco leaned over and said in a low voice, "so lucky, so lucky, so let's go back now," They all agreed that the adventure was over and he headed back to the car lot, and he'd put the car back and Joey would never be the wiser. It was better that way because he really didn't want to see what was what. Let Joey think he was a good kid.
Laughing, jumping, shoving into each other, the golden tickets in his hand. Sunny day, perfect day, and he went up to the office to put the car keys back. Joey flew out of the office, the phone in his hand and he pointed it at them like a weapon.
Craig barely heard him through his fear, but he knew that he was sending his friends away. The angry tone in his voice, the look on his face, these things were sharp cues for Craig. He felt his muscles get tense, felt his breathing speed up, saw himself watching closely so that he wouldn't get hit.
Back at the house, in the living room when he really wanted to be up in his room, and the angry look had not left Joey's eyes even for a second.
"Sit," Joey commanded.
"You're not my dad," Craig said defiantly. Up until now Joey hadn't told him what to do, not even to sit. Craig wasn't used to it, wasn't used to obeying anyone besides Albert.
"Why don't you really be like my dad? Go ahead, hit me," Breathless to say that but he had to know, what would Joey do to him?
Joey, for his part, figured this test was coming. He figured Craig would do something fairly spectacular to gauge his reaction. He just didn't figure he'd do something that would piss him off this much.
"Sit," An absolute command but he didn't know if Craig would, maybe he'd take off. He watched him, still angry but growing more and more cautious. He did sit, shifting, looking guilty, looking afraid.
A lecture, a grounding, a tearing up of the tickets. Limits and rules and expectations. But he didn't hit him or even grab him, not even once. Something inside Craig loosened, and he was mad about being grounded and not getting his tickets and all that, but he could live with this outcome. It was all that he had hoped for.