Naruto Uzumaki was a lot of things.

A 16 year old anti-social weapons nerd.

A man-child with a penchant for destruction and an unnatural obsession over Ramen.

The younger heir to the Namikaze Crystal Company.

The 2nd place winner to the Mistral Tournament (for the last three fucking years...A first place wouldn't hurt ya know?)

But there was one thing he wasn't.

Patient.

'When in the actual fuck is this thing gonna land?!' Naruto cried out.

On the outside, he seemed to have a poker-face so legendary that poker players would kill to have. On the inside however, he was panicking. Let me pave out the scene for you.

Naruto is in the middle of one of his own nightmares.

Being in a crowd. Oh, but not just in any crowd; a crowd of crazed people who he swears to all that is Monty is on drugs.

To the right of him is a red-headed girl. Not enough said? (1)

Said red head is hanging off a black haired boy and all she was doing was talking.

Talking loud.

Aggressively loud.

The girl was practically screeching in the guys ear, his ear, and the rest of the ships ears.

To his left was a blonde girl. A cute blonde girl who was switching faces every 5 seconds.

At once second, she would talk to the girl in the red hood next to her( he made a note to get a hood, they looked cool) and it looked like she was trying to calm her down and the next...her hair would light up like a matchstick and she would glare threateningly at the any male on the ship screaming at them not to touch her sister...?

And across from him was a disgusting sight. A blonde kid throwing up in the trash can.

Is this what the prestigious Beacon Academy was accepting?

"NE~NE REN, WHAT DOES SHE MEAN WHEN SHE SAYS SHE WILL CASTRATE ANY PEE-PEE THAT COMES NEAR HER?"

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is where I put on my headphones and try to sleep.

Upon awakening from his nap and exiting the metal box of death, he noticed two things:

One:Beacon was big.

Two:The hooded girl from before was about to get her shit absolutely smacked out of her by his ex-friend Weiss.

It was at this moment, that Naruto knew what he was gonna do.

Stay the fuck away from her.

He swore that, not only was she was insane, but an annoying pain in the ass racist. Her excuse for being one wasn't as plausible to him as it was to others. Hating on a whole race of people because of one group of people doing bad things is not an excuse. She was cool at one point, but now, she was dead to him.

He walked past both of them trying to stay as quiet as possible, taking note of the blonde vomiting boy, to whom from this point on will be affectionately dubbed 'Spitter' (2), go up to the hooded girl and talk to her.

That was good for him. As long as he didn't lose his lunch on her, he could see them being friends.

But anyways, the auditorium is right ahead and I guess we're getting a boring orientation by the staff.

The speech was over fairly quickly and while he didn't pay attention, he did catch some of it.

"Hello and welcome to...My name is Glynda Goodbitch(snrk)...privileged few...honor...prestigious academy(snrk)...world...time of peace...future Huntsman and Huntresses...duty(snrk)...demonstrated courage...task...training..protect our world."

That was pretty much all he cared about to be honest.

Now it was night time and he had gotten as far away as possible from the crazy that was Beacon Academy students.

'I don't get it', Naruto thought observing the blond haired girl, the red hooded girl, Weiss , and the newcomer black haired girl go back and forth over who was keeping everyone else up( Also why hasn't anyone mentioned that they're all keeping us up?), 'Are they just dumb or am I just too smart?'

He watched the blonde all but tackle Weiss to the the ground.

'It's definitely a little bit of both.' he thought chuckling.

Goodbitch walked into the room and broke them apart.

Awwwe, and it was just starting to get funny. Blondie was about to kill Weiss.

Oh well.

There is always another day.

I actually rested well that night, kinda surprising seeing as the mayhem I woke too almost caught me off guard.

I think I'm getting used to the crazy.

Don't know whether that means I'm becoming insane or if I'm just adapting to it, I really hope it's the latter.

Anyways, apparently the red haired crazy chick and the black haired emo boy broke into the kitchen. I don't know the specifics, but apparently the crazy girl blew up the kitchen's syrup supply trying to make pancakes.

Ok...

Most of my clothes were covered in the stuff because apparently, the kitchen was where a lot of the vents were connected and unluckily, I was sleeping beneath one of them giving me a syrup shower.

YAYYYYYYY!

I took an extra long shower and I managed to get it out of my hair, but I couldn't escape the smell.

We were told to meet at the auditorium so I made a quick trip to my locker to grab my supplies.

But my day was just getting worst.

Literally right in front of my locker was Spitter, Weiss and...

Oh fuck, this bitch.

"Hello Uzumaki."

Out of everyone at Beacon who I could have run into, this bitch just had to be it?

I ignore her completely and all but shove Weiss off my locker.

I'll remember to clean it later.

Behind me, I can hear them talking about me.

"Pyrrha, you know who this idiot is?" I wanna hit her so hard.

"Um,Yes , I've beaten him in the finals for the Mistral Tournament twice." No need to sound so smug about it bitch.

"This idiot actually almost won something? Color me surprised!" I threw a knife I grabbed from my locker and it got stuck in the wall next to her. Spitter jumped back in surprise and the bitch didn't even look surprised. What, did she expect it?

I quickly walked away, not wanting to deal with her shit at the moment.

Today looks like it's gonna be a pretty ass day.

Today is definitely an ass day.

'I just got launched into a forest and told the next person I see is my teammate...greaaattttt.' I really need to stop thinking about how bad my life is and pay more attention to whats going on around me. Maybe if I had done that early I would've notice the Nevermore that just landed in front of me.

The Nevermore is shooting its shit at me.

I dodge and then sigh to myself noticing how bad my new life is.

If its this bad already, it cant get any worse, right?

Right?

1-Naruto finds red heads to be long and obnoxious

2-Spitter l4D2

Naruto in this story is meant to be a cynical, sarcastic, narcissistic, and anti-social. He'll break out of his shell soon but not until a little later. This is just an idea I had on my head, so if it comes off awkwardly my b.