Catharsis: a purifying or figurative cleansing of the emotions

For those of you who know me and my life, you should have a pretty good idea as to the meaning of the title and the idea of the story. For those of you that don't, make of it what you will. This is done in Leo's point of view.

I don't understand my brother sometimes. In fact, most times I don't understand him at all. I don't understand all the rage and anger and I can't comprehend how deep it all goes, simply because I don't know where it all stems from. I often wonder if anyone does. I once thought that even though I didn't understand him, I knew him. I was wrong, so very wrong.

Raphael had, as in past tense, a friend named Cassidy. She seemed like a nice enough girl. He even brought her by to meet us all once. Just once. Cassidy, at first glance, seemed like my brother's type. She was average height, blonde, healthy looking, and, well, at the risk of sounding a bit perverse, really big breasts.

I don't know how they met or how they even became friends but they were. In the beginning, that's what they were. Just friends. They both made that statement often enough that we believed them both. Cassidy was smart, going to nursing school, and worked as a waitress at a nice restaurant. She was paying her own way in life. It was a trait we all respected, independence. She even did what she could to help keep our medical needs well stocked. I was proud of my brother for befriending such a nice and level headed person. And even though they were just friends I often suspected that Raph hoped for more. Then it started. This whole situation that ate him alive from the inside.

I don't know if you would call it love. Loyalty, chivalry, a sense of justice or even honor maybe. He was rescuing a damsel in distress like we had all done so many times before. But this time, things just went too far.

That was when the phone calls started. Cassidy would call in the middle of the night, sometimes three or four in the morning. She had a new boyfriend.

Raph had never met the guy but he didn't like him at all. I'm guessing it had to do with the new bruises Cassidy was sporting. She was showing all the signs of abuse. She would wear long sleeves in the summer, dark sunglasses, and lots of make up to cover up the marks. And every time it happened she would call Raph, wanting him to fix things. I don't know what she was expecting him to do, I really don't.

Once, after she endured an obviously long beating, he brought her down here. She refused to go to the emergency room and wouldn't let Raph call her an ambulance. She said that she knew too many people at the local hospital and didn't want anyone to know what was happening, that she was embarrassed.

Donnie did what he could for her. He stitched up the few cuts she had and made her comfortable.

After that, Raph took her to his room and stayed with her in there. He came out to get food or something for her to drink but that was it.

I tried to talk to him about this, that he was getting too involved. He should report this to the police so this guy would go to jail but he wouldn't listen. He explained to me that Bill, Cassidy's boyfriend, was already wanted in other states for domestic violence and drug trafficking but he still managed to get out of whatever the police charged him with.

The first time it happened, I kept my mouth shut. The first time it happened, I wanted to go out and kill the guy myself, or at least beat him senseless the way he had done to her. But then, it became more and more frequent. At least twice a week a phone call would come in and it was always Cassidy. Bill had forced his way in and had beaten her and raped her. Could he come help her. Always the same thing. And always, my brother would go to her rescue.

She was using him and I hated it. I couldn't understand it. Why didn't she just call the police, or lock her door? Why did she let him in? Why did Raph keep going back to help her?

It was wearing on him, I could tell. He was more short tempered than usual. It was probably the result of worrying too much and sleeping too little. Every time she would call, he would run to her rescue. And every time, he would be gone for at least a day or two. He would come home mentally and physically exhausted.

I decided once to see what was going on over at her place. I went one night when Raph was home asleep and watched from the building across from her apartment. She was drinking that much was obvious. There was a vodka bottle on the floor and it was empty. She had a cup of something in her hand. Then, she did what I couldn't believe. She let this guy, the one I assumed was Bill, into her apartment. It had to be him, Raph had described him to me once. Angry was not the word that would have explained what I felt.

This was why my brother was putting himself through hell. Because she would get drunk and let in her attacker. I was in pure rage as I watched her kiss him. I couldn't believe someone would do this. She was on a self destructive trip and was dragging my brother down with her. I left. There was nothing I could have done as long as she let this guy in over and over again.

I got home within a few minutes and had every intention of getting some sleep, but, just as I had crawled into bed, the phone rang. We all knew who it was. No one even bothered to get up to answer the phone anymore. It was Cassidy, it was for Raph, let him get it.

Master Splinter and I both tried talking to him about this, about what she was doing to him. His only response was that he wasn't going to turn his back on someone who obviously needed him. Master Splinter even told him he was restricted to the lair but it didn't work. He wouldn't listen. I don't know what hold this girl had over my brother but it was a strong one.

The last night that it happened was the worst. She called again, I quit counting what number this was. We were somewhere in the area of the tenth or twelfth one. It was around 3:30 in the morning. I didn't hear her side of the conversation, just Raphael's end. It was pretty heated and he actually sounded panicked. I don't remember him sounding like that before. Immediately, he grabbed out first aid kit and a few other things and stuffed them in a bag and left. Master Splinter asked me to follow just to make sure he was okay.

I followed him. I didn't say anything, I didn't even let him know I was there. I just sat perched on the ledge and watched to make sure this character didn't come back. From what I had seen, he was a pretty large guy and could do some serious damage to my brother if he wanted to. One or two lucky hits would be enough to hurt Raph and I didn't want that to happen. Oddly enough, my brother knew I was there.

I had been sitting on the ledge for about thirty minutes, hiding in the shadows and watching, while he nursed her wounds. When he had her patched up he picked up the phone and made a call. After that, he came to the window and opened it up and looked directly at me. How? How did he know I was there? I didn't even need to ask him the question. He answered me as I came in the window.

"Instinct," Raphael said. "Just animal instinct." He stared at me for a moment. I wasn't sure if he was angry or glad that I was there. He was a bit ambivalent about it. I tried to convince him to call the cops and make Cassidy file a report but he wouldn't. He didn't believe me when I told him what I saw. I didn't want to appear cold. Cassidy was obviously in pain and in need of some serious help but it was help my brother couldn't give her. All I could do was sit and wait until my brother was ready to leave. That was when the doorbell rang.

On impulse I hid but it was apparently not necessary as my brother answered the door. Raph opened the door and let an older gentleman in. His name was Tony and judging by his accent, I would have said he was British. I stood silently in the corner while he and my brother discussed the situation at hand. As they did, Tony acknowledged me with a nod.

As they talked, it was decided that Cassidy's injuries were too severe for her to stay at home. Tony was going to take her to a hospital even though she protested. Raph helped her up from the couch and the whole time he did she kept apologizing. She kept telling him she was sorry and that this was the last time. How many times before had he heard that apology and believed it?

I thought we were leaving after that but we didn't. Raph picked up the phone again and talked to someone else this time. He called some guy named Dave and said he was calling in a solid that Dave owed him.

I didn't ask how he knew Tony or this Dave guy. I had a feeling I didn't want to know. We spent the next couple of hours cleaning up the mess Cassidy's abusive boyfriend had made. I thought we were doing it just to help out but apparently it was just to kill time until Tony called. Cassidy was doing okay. The hospital was going to keep her for a couple of days. She had some broken ribs, a broken finger and a concussion. The injuries were enough to warrant observation.

I cringed as I watched Raphael pull the phone away from the side of his head. Cassidy was yelling at him for sending her to the hospital. She was angry at him! My brother, the one who she called to save her, the one who showed up time and time again to fix things, was being berated and yelled at! What really got me was when he hung up the phone and looked at me.

His face was apologetic and his voice was quiet. "She didn't mean it," he explained. "It's probably the vodka talking."

I sighed. I just didn't get it.

After the phone call from Tony, we went home. At least I knew that with Cassidy in the hospital, there wouldn't be any midnight phone calls asking my brother for his help. Maybe he could get a night or two of solid sleep. It seemed like that was the case.

Cassidy did call again but in the middle of the day. I listened once again to my brother's side of the conversation. From what I could understand, she was probably apologizing for her behavior, she didn't mean to yell at him. When Raph hung up the phone I asked how she was doing. He said the doctor's were going to keep her a few more days. They said she had an irregular heart beat and they wanted to run some tests to figure out why. Again, I let out a sigh of relief, a few more days of him being able to sleep through the night.

Things seemed to be going back to normal. Raph slept for almost a day. We left him alone to get some rest, he needed it. After that, he rejoined us for practice and was even pleasant to be around. Sleep must have been what he needed. He still talked to Cassidy but it was during the day and to see how she was doing and what the doctor's said. Cassidy obviously wasn't happy about being there. She called all the tests the doctor's were running "bullsht." But, as angry as she was, the conversation seemed pleasant enough and he always hung up with a smile on his face.

Tony must have been there when Raph called because he talked to him a few times as well. Not much was said between the two, just that Raph hadn't heard from this Dave character yet but that as soon as he did, things would be taken care of and Cassidy would be safe. That had me worried.