'I never planned on any of this happening. I never wanted Damon to come back to spread his malevolent ways all over Mystic. I never meant for so many innocent people to be murdered in cold blood, just because of the undying rivalry between my brother and I. Elena shouldn't have gotten in the middle of it, I should have kept her safe by never meeting her. If I had of just stayed away and not come back, none of this would ha-.' The pen dropped to the floor as Stefan contemplated the result of not saving Elena. If he hadn't of pulled her from the car that night, she would have never been there for Damon to torture; for Damon to make his own. Rubbing his eyes, Stefan felt his body shake lightly from the thought of never holding Elena again. Life without her didn't make sense and wasn't sure if he even wanted to go on without her. As his eyes fell closed in thought, he heard the doorbell being rang. The sound pierced his ears and caused an uneasy feeling to settle in his stomach.
He and Elena had broken up only days before. She couldn't handle the pain and sorrow that followed Stefan around like lost puppy looking for a home. Swallowing thickly, he took his time as he walked down the steps; each one feeling like another century just passed by. It was a little after midnight and half of him hoped it was Elena while the other half hoped it wasn't. As he opened the door, his expression changed completely. Standing in front of him was the girl he'd known for over 100 years. Lexi Branson, the girl who'd saved Stefan from his ripper days. Smiling, he pulled inside and held her tightly against his chest. No invitation was needed for Lexi, for the girl had seen the Salvatore boarding home more times than she could count. "What are you doing here Lexi?" No matter what the answer was, Stefan was more than happy to see a familiar face. She'd seen him at his darkest days and still treated him like a man with moral values. "Just figured I'd stop by before I made my way to New York."
Lexi was always a traveler. It had been her thing since Stefan knew her. In fact, he'd traveled many places with her, looking for a place to stay until he'd had the whole vampire deal under control. As he kicked the front door shut, Stefan led her upstairs. "New York? What, going to get drunk on top of the Statue of Liberty without me?" he joked, a quiet chuckle escaping his lips. Watching as she walked toward his desk where the alcohol stayed, she picked up his leather bond journal and began to read. Reaching for the book, Lexi swiftly glided to the other side of the room and looked at Stefan almost confused. "What's been going on Stefan?" she asked, her tone fully of worry and concern. Stefan sat down and shook his head, feeling his non-beating heart breaking all over again. "I met a girl," he said quietly, his tone calm just like it always was when he spoke. "Elena Gilbert. She makes me feel alive Lexi. She makes me feel like my heart is beating again. She makes me feel like a better person and all I want to do is keep her safe from Damon but it's like a mission on its path to failure."
Stefan felt her hand on his shoulder and sighed, moving his own hand to rest over hers. "You love her, don't you?" It had been the silent question he'd been asking himself since day one. Nodding, Stefan swallowed thickly and let go of her hand. "I know it isn't safe and I th-." Before he could finish, Lexi had cut him off. The look on her face told him that he was in for a speech—the kind that usually made him think differently about things after it was over. "You remember Lee, right?" Stefan nodded. How could he have forgotten his best friends love? "Yeah, I remember him." Watching as he fell back onto his bed, Stefan sat up in his chair and listened. "I loved Lee more than anything and he was a human. I knew that if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, I'd have to turn him." The thought of turning Elena made Stefan sick to his stomach. He couldn't do that to her; even if he wanted it. "I can't turn her Lexi. I won't turn her." Holding up her finger, Lexi sat up on the bed and smiled. "That's not the point Mr. I-still-like-to-interrupt-people. The point is I loved Lee even before he was a vampire. I knew it wasn't safe and I knew that it could have gotten both of us killed, but it didn't. When it's real—when it's real Stefan you can't let it go because you'll never get it again. True love only comes once and if you walk away because you're scared something is going to happen, then you'll never know what it's really like to be happy."
As Stefan thought about her words, another knock at the door sent chills down his spine. "Stay here," he directed, getting up and jogging down the steps. As he opened it, he was relieved to see Elena standing on the other side. "Elena, it's past midnight. What are you doing here?" he asked, concerned mixing in with the feeling of relief. "I couldn't sleep and I needed to talk to you." Nodding, Stefan invited her in. "My friend Lexi is here. Maybe you can meet her. If you want to." Looking upstairs, Stefan swallowed thickly. Lexi never knew Katherine, but the blonde had heard stories and from that—she hated the vampire. Before Stefan could say another word, Lexi was downstairs, her mouth opened widely as she got closer. "Stefan—hey, uh—You must be Elena. I'm Lexi," she said politely, holding out her slightly shaking hand. Confused, Elena took it, shaking with caution. "Lexi is my friend from way back. She's here on a visit." As soon as Lexi had let go of Elena's hand, she made her way back upstairs. "I should go. I didn't realize you had someone here already." Reaching for her hand but pulling back, Stefan nodded.
Watching as she got into her SUV, Stefan closed the door and headed back upstairs, an angry looking Lexi holding the picture of Katherine. "Is there a reason why your girlfriend looks like your ex-girlfriends freaking twin? Are you out of your mind? Stefan, what the hell is going on?" Shaking his head, Stefan honestly didn't know. Grabbing the picture of Katherine, he looked at it for a moment and frowned. "I don't know why Lexi. I've been trying to figure it out myself. None of it makes sense. Katherine was a Peirce, Elena is a Gilbert. I can't make the connection." Sinking back down into his chair, he rubbed his face and stared up at the ceiling. "They're nothing alike. Not even comparable. Elena—Elena has a heart." As Lexi chuckled and rolled her eyes, she crossed her arms. "Okay captain obvious, is there another difference or is that all you got?" Closing his eyes, Stefan felt his mouth moving, but the words seemed to be involuntarily leaving his lips. "She's selfless. She cares about everyone around and she puts everyone's feelings before hers. She smart and actually wants to be something in life. She's scared easily and hurt even easier. When I touch her—I feel like my heart is beating again. When I kiss her—God when I kiss her Lexi it's like I forget what I am. I'm not this monster locked up, trying to get out. I'm a normal human, just trying to love someone like they deserved to be loved."
Sitting up, Stefan rubbed over his mouth. "You're in love with her, aren't you?" Lexi asked, walking closer and bowing down in front of him. Nodding, Stefan felt his eyes began to grow heavy. "But I'm no good for her." As Lexi pulled him into her embrace, Stefan felt his walls falling apart. Without Elena, he felt as if nothing made sense.
'I was happy to see Lexi again, and happy to know that she was safe and seemed happy. I'll never find a best friend as well as her, but I do know that if she ever asks me to get drunk of the Statue of Liberty again, I'll damn sure do it. I owe her. I owe her more than I can even give her. She's helped me through the darkest times and made me a better person. Because of her, I'm no longer the murderous monster I was. Now all that could make this time worth living again would be Elena. I have to see her again. I have to know that we're going to be okay. November 5th, 2009.'