A/N: I thought you guys might find this funny. I did, so did my friends, and I'm hoping that everyone reading this will crack up laughing, so if you do like it, REVIEW PLEASE and I'll try to add the next chapter on. And I used to have another version on, but it was in script form, so it got taken off. I forgot that script form was banned… oh well. Anyway, here's the story;

Voldemort stepped up to the pizza hut counter. "Give me three large pizzas NOW, or DIE!" he said, glaring at the counter pizza hut lady.

"That'll be $5.95, please," the Pizza Hut Lady said in a bored tone, as though she dealt with customers like this every day. (For all we know, she DOES.)

"If I threaten to kill your family, can I get it cheap?" Voldemort asked thoughtfully, fingering his wand that he held out in front of him.

"No, but if you get the Pizza Hut Hot Meal you can get it for $3.95, plus a bottle of refreshing coke," Pizza Hut Lady said, wondering whether she should call the manager.

"No coke, Rookwood's allergic to coke because of some curse or another. Anything else?" Voldemort asked.

"How about Sprite?" Pizza Hut Lady asked.

Voldemort sighed. "I guess it'll have to do. But if we don't like it, I'LL TRACK YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU!"

Pizza Hut Lady looked nervous. "Right then… have a nice day," she said, handing over the pizzas and Sprite.

"I'd better, or whoever's responsible for ruining shall DIE!" Voldemort threatened.

"Weirdo!" the Pizza Hut Lady coughed.

"I heard that! I'm not stupid you know! Avada Kedavra!" Voldemort hissed, raising his wand. There was a flash of green light, and the Pizza Hut Lady fell lifelessly to the ground. Voldemort smirked, retrieved his money, then walked out, his cloak billowing out behind him.

" Who want's pizza?" Voldemort called out as he arrived back at his pizza party, in his evil lair.

" Me! Please, gimme some!" The Death Eaters called.

" No! They're all mine! I just asked if you wanted some. Geez, it's not like we're having some pizza party or anything," Voldemort said, annoyed. Where did people get ideas like that?

" But that's what the invite said," Lucius Malfoy pointed out, wearing his party hat with pink fluffy bits on top.

" This is a chick flick night! You guys are seriously misled," Voldemort retorted, setting down the pizzas.

"You were the one who said it would be a pizza party, Dark Lord," Lucius pointed out.

Voldemort looked dumbfounded. "I was?"

"Sorry, I did the invites. That's a typo, it's meant to be 'chick flick night'," Rookwood said from the back, looking nervous.

"Idiot! Avada Kedavra!" Voldemort said, lifting his wand above the crowd to get to Rookwood.

"Someone get rid of the body, please!" Lucius called.

Voldemort sighed. "I should have gotten the coke," He said.

"Hey, I'm allergic to coke," Rookwood said, annoyed.

"I thought the Dark Lord killed you?" Lucius asked, crossing his arms.

Rookwood shrugged. "He missed. He hit that Death Eater guy with blonde hair. You know, Lucius Malfoy's first born son."

"Nooooooo! WHY ARNOLD! WHY NOT ME!" Lucius cried, leaping forward to hug his son's lifeless body. (And for people who don't know, Lucius had another son before Draco- ARNOLD! I know he existed… you can't deny it's not possible!)

"That could be arranged," Snape said as he entered the room.

"Where have you been? You're late for my party," Voldemort complained.

"You asked me to get the DVD's for you, remember?" Snape said, holding up a plastic bag full of DVD's.

"Ooh, ooh, did you get Mean Girls?" Rookwood said excitedly.

"Duh. Plus I got Princess Diaries 1 and 2, Ella Enchanted, the Hot Chick, What a Girl wants and Titanic."

Voldemort clapped with glee. "Let's get this party started!"

"Hey, can't I avenge my son's death?" Lucius said, glaring at Rookwood.

"Whatever, just hurry up," Voldemort said impatiently.

"Hey, didn't he do it?" Rookwood said defensively when Lucius turned on him. He pointed to Voldemort.

"You're right! Die, evil Lord!" Lucius said maliciously.

"Don't you take that tone with me, young death eater!" Voldemort said.

"Sorry, master," Lucius said, looking shamefaced.

"What movie should we watch first?" Snape asked.

"I want to watch Mean Girls!" Rookwood said, jumping up and down.

"Did you get Titanic like I asked you to?" Voldemort asked. "And What A Girl Wants?"

"Of course," Snape said. "I said that before.

"Good, otherwise I'd have to kill you. You killed the shopkeeper too, right?" Voldemort asked.

"Of course. Hey, is that pizza I can smell?" Snape said, sniffed the air.

"Yeah. The Dark Lord got some, but he's not sharing!" Lucius said, glaring at Voldemort.

"Good for him. Let's just start the movie now, please!" Rookwood said impatiently.

"Okay, put on What A Girl Wants!" Voldemort decided.

"Yay, Amanda! London, here we come!" Snape said excitedly as a Death Eater moved to comply.

"SHHH! Don't spoil the movie for me, or I'll have to kill you," Voldemort hissed.

"Sorry," Snape said sheepishly.

"I told you to be quiet! That's it, Avada Kedavra!" Voldemort said.

Snape sighed. "You missed. Now be quiet, the movie's started."

Voldemort pouted. "Shush yourself!"

"Fine then!" Snape snapped.

"SHHH!" Voldemort and Rookwood hissed.

Once they were settled, they continued to watch the movie, Voldemort occasionally breaking out in sobs in the sad parts.

Sorry I took so long to rewrite it. It's not as funny as the first version, though… Well, please review!