A/N: No-o-o, this isn't a songfic. It's actually going to be a series -- a trilogy, maybe? -- that starts off each chapter with a lyric to a song that kinda fits. I'm falling out of my infatuation of songfics, thank the Holy Cow. ^^; I've figured out most fic ideas don't need a song tied in with them: my "One Kiss From You" story would've worked just as well as a regular fic, ditto for my other one. And yes, I know I've switched writing interests yet again (from X-Men: Evolution to Digimon to Earth: Final Conflict -- oh, and read my Good Omens fic if you like C/A slash ^^), but I'll probably be writing for pretty much anything that catches my fancy, now. You know, instead of just choosing a category and sticking with it... yeah. Riight. *nods* Well, I'm pretty much blathering for no reason now, so I leave you all with these words: Review if you like the fic and/or have constructive criticism ("c'mon! I can take it!"), but don't flame me or I'll have to sic the Resistance on you. ^^ I'll do it, too!
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone or anything except Charlotte and her friend Jymnis, their Artificially Intelligent System (or A.I.S, pronounced "ice")... and the fic itself, of course. I'm only writing this 'cos I think Da'an needs a girlfriend... and yes, I know Da'an's played by a woman. I just think he's more of a male of the species... but since Taelons all refer to each-other as "he" that's a kind of a given.
Musings: Aren't there any female Taelons? And why am I going off on this irrelevant tangent?
Answers: No one knows for sure (dun dun DUN) except the Taelons. And 'cos it'd make a good challenge, that's why. So...
Challenge: I challenge you to write a fic introducing a female Taelon, and solve the mystery about why none have come to Earth (or at least weren't introduced on the show)!
A/N Cont: Okay, I'm done with irrelevancy, I promise. I'll just say that, when I wanted to give Da'an a girlfriend, I also wanted her to be a kind of person you wouldn't expect to connect well with him... but you had to like her, too. So I came up with Charlotte. I think she works rather well, don't you? ... All right, I'll shut up and give you the fic now. Read on!
She's a Killer Queen
Gunpowder, gelatine
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime...
-Queen
"You wanted to see me, Zo'or?"
The Companion looked up, smiling an unnerving smile, like the ones given by content cats to local mice: "I'm not hungry now," it said. "I know where you live... where you work... where you play... but I don't need you dead yet, so you may live a while longer." It was, in short, a smile that made even Sandoval, Zo'or's closest assistant, more than a little nervous. After all, Sandoval knew better than anybody that Zo'or looked down on the human race. In fact, it was seeming more and more like Zo'or hated humans.
"Agent Sandoval," he said. "I want you to contact someone for me. I have heard... impressive things about him. His name is Tilner. Tell him to be here at 4:00."
Sandoval was about to nod his assent, but for some reason he hesitated. It was as if an alarm had gone off in his head, though he couldn't think of any reason why it should. A sixth sense was wanting him to ask... "May I ask why you wish to contact this Tilner?"
Zo'or's smile became more unpleasant. "You did. But you may not have an answer as of yet. I think it would be better if only I know what I have planned, for the time being." Then he, too, hesitated, appearing to think of something. "However. If he asks why I wish to speak to him, tell him it has to do with his line of work, and that I am willing to pay generously for his assistance."
Still unnerved for some reason, Sandoval nonetheless bowed his head and walked out to comply.
Jymnis Stronsan leaned back in her chair, balancing precariously on two legs. "You're too hard on yourself, Char. The rosary's fine; you don't need to measure the distance to either side of the hole."
Charlotte Tilner looked up, grinning. "I need to be able to hit something exactly, Jym. Looks like I was off to the left a little. Overcompensation for being right-handed, I imagine."
"So you didn't get it right between the eyes. That's not what I'd be aiming for, anyway," Jymnis added with a mischievous smirk.
"I bet it's not! but I need to shoot to kill, not, ah, incapacitate. Render the guy dead, not sterile. Besides, you can't aim there for a woman."
"Fair enough. Look, you want to say 'hi' to A.I.S. before we head out? You know how touchy he can get."
"Yeah, sure--" Charlotte was cut off as her cell phone started playing "Bohemian Rhapsody." She winced. "Ugh. Sorry, Jym, but it's Queen, so it's gotta be a job call."
Jymnis sighed theatrically. "Oh, well. You gotta take it. Catch up with me at the theater if you can, okay?"
"'Kay," Charlotte replied absently. She pressed the TALK button as her friend walked out. "Hello, Charlotte Tilner here."
"Miss Tilner, I'm agent Sandoval. I'm calling on behalf of the Companion diplomat, Zo'or." Charlotte perked up at that... then winced as Sandoval continued: "May I speak to your father, please?"
"My father's dead," Charlotte replied. Ha -- he must think the assassin's gotta be a guy.
"Oh." Pause. "I apologize. Then may I speak to your brother? It's about his business."
Charlotte decided to humor the guy; he was obviously a lackey. "My brother's not here right now, but I know all about his business. Can I take a message?"
Another pause. Then Sandoval sighed. "Tell him that Zo'or needs his assistance, and is willing to pay generously for it."
Charlotte grinned. "Generously, huh? Well, I'll be sure to tell Rick you stopped by." Actually, her brother's name was Rick -- only Rick was about two years old. Charlotte had to bite her cheek to keep from laughing. "When should he expect a call from Zo'or?"
"Actually, Zo'or requested that he be at the Embassy at 4:00 today."
Charlotte's grin faltered. From Newcastle-upon-Tyne to the American Embassy in -- she checked the clock -- a little over two hours? Then the grin was back, in spades.
"Well, then," she said cheerfully. "I'd better go so I can find him. He'll need to catch the next flight out if he's going to get there in time." Without waiting for a response, she hung up.
Great Moments In History: the first assassin hired by a Taelon diplomat. Impressive!
No matter what she had to do, she'd make that appointment.
Charlotte stepped into the Embassy, in black jeans and a black blouse. Besides that, she didn't look at all out of place, and not only that: she walked like she not only belonged there, but actually owned the place -- and, as she'd learned after almost five years of experience, that made a big difference.
She went up the elevator humming "Daydream Believer" under her breath. Given the fact that she was going to get instructions for an assassination, it perhaps wasn't the most appropriate of tunes, but she liked dark humor. Besides, she was always cheerful when faced with the prospect of generous pay -- and who wasn't?
She stepped into Zo'or's office, prepared for surprise and possibly anger. She had been fired before when the people who hired her found out she was female... or when they realized she was only twenty-two... but to her surprise, Zo'or didn't even seem surprised. If he was, he certainly didn't show it, except for a short hesitation before he greeted her.
"Miss Tilner. I am pleased to meet you." He nodded his head, but didn't hold out a hand. That was expected: Charlotte knew that Zo'or was against humans (though she didn't know to what degree). She wouldn't have been impressed if he'd tried being friendly. She still wasn't.
"Shall we cut to the chase, Mr. Zo'or?" she asked. It was always helpful to be seen as take-charge and take-no-shit... but she didn't want to lose the job, and throwing in a 'Mr.' sure wouldn't hurt.
Zo'or looked at her appraisingly, giving her a slight, I'll-remember-your-impoliteness smile. Something in his eyes made her shiver, and she realized with a start that the Companion diplomat was actually insane.
Not my job to analyze the guy's mental health, part of her said. I'm getting paid either way, so just forget it. Anyone hiring an assassin can't be completely sane.
Yeah, another part said, but this guy's crazier than I am!
"I wish to hire you. I need someone... terminated."
Charlotte nodded. She'd expected that; most of the people who hired her didn't like the words 'murder' or even 'kill' -- and most of them didn't seem to know the word 'exhume.' "Of course. But I'm going to need specifics: person's name, where they live, what they do, anything else you might find important for me to know."
"Of course," Zo'or echoed. "As for where he lives and what he does, that is quite simple: he is here in the Embassy. Another Companion. His name is Da'an."
Charlotte started, but only slightly. A job was a job... but killing a Taelon? That was impossible... wasn't it? "How do I kill a Companion?" she asked aloud.
Zo'or narrowed his eyes, her reply apparently meeting his approval. "You shoot him with this," he replied, handing her a small purple gun. It looked almost... alive, somehow. Charlotte stared down at it, silent. After a few moments, she looked up and smiled.
"Right. How much am I getting paid?"
"Tell Auger I'll be there right away, Lili." Liam closed the connection, and went to put the communicator back in his pocket, when someone jostled his elbow on their way past. There was a 'CRACK!' as it hit the ground. A hairline crack appeared on the screen.
Damn, he thought. At least it wasn't irreparable -- or, if it ever came to it, irreplaceable. Still, people need to be more careful--
He bent down to pick it up, but someone beat him to it. He looked up; a youngish lady of about twenty years was holding the communicator out to him, an worried, apologetic smile on her face.
"Thanks," he said, taking it. She flushed, looking down at the ground.
"No, don't thank me," she protested in a lilting kind of English accent. "I wasn't watching where I was going, and when I saw I'd made you drop it, I had to come back and see... well, is it broken?" Her smile faltered; she honestly seemed worried about whether or not she'd accidentally broken his communicator.
"It shouldn't be," he replied, smiling back. "And don't worry, even if it were I could replace it."
She looked relieved, and her smile grew into an embarrassed grin. "Still, it was pretty rude of me to run into you like that. Can I buy you a drink or anything? There's a pub right over there."
"Oh, you don't need to do that," he protested, amused. "I wouldn't want to trouble you--"
"No trouble," she interrupted quite smoothly. "If you're on your way to work, well, maybe we could get together later. But if you have some time now..."
"I have time," Liam replied. "But I will have to be somewhere soon, and I can't be drunk."
She looked shocked. "Oh, I don't want to get you drunk." Then the embarrassed grin was back, and she added, "Thing is, neither of us could get even the slightest bit tipsy off the money I have with me. I really don't care if you get a gin or a Shirley Temple cocktail or just a glass of water, but I want to get you something. To make up for the inconvenience. What do you say?"
Liam hesitated. But then he shrugged. "Why not?" he asked. "You're even paying. A free drink and an attractive drinking partner: I can't resist that."
She blushed a little, then quipped, "But since you can't see any attractive partners around here, you'll just have to make due, right?"
He laughed, pleased for some reason at her quick sense of humor. She seemed to be cheerful now, a lot more than she had been at first. "Right," he agreed teasingly, and she laughed, too. This might turn out to be an interesting day.
In the bar, the woman's demeanor seemed to change slightly. "Oy, bartender! Two pints!"
"Of what?" the bartender replied crossly.
"What can I get for under twenty bucks?"
"Two pints porter or stout."
"Porter's fine."
Liam smiled at her. "You seem to be a professional at this."
"Yeah, well, my first home's my apartment in London and my second home is a pub. Any pub." She paused. "In case you're wondering, porter's lighter than stout. I hope you don't mind, but I got a guy a stout once and he was generously sick. It seems to be an acquired taste."
"I don't mind," he reassured her. "By the way, my name's Liam Kincaid."
Her eyes lit up, and she snapped her fingers. "Oh! I heard of you! You're the bodyguard of... ah, whatshisname. That Companion diplomat for America..."
"Da'an," he supplied. She grinned.
"Probably. I thought I recognized you from the news." She looked apologetic again. "I'm not that good at memorizing Taelon names. Maybe it's just 'cos I've never met one firsthand, but they all look pretty much alike to me. Oh, and my name's Charlotte Tilner."
There was a short silence in which they received their drinks. "You just move here?" he asked finally.
She shook her head. "No, I'm here on... well, I like to call it a vacation, but I guess it's business. I'm researching the place for a book I'm going to write."
"You're a writer?"
"Y-eah, I suppose so. I've got stories in a couple of anthologies -- under a different name, of course. I'm probably going to write as someone else for my book, too. Believe it or not, I don't usually go around knocking into people and inviting them for drinks: I'm usually bloody shy."
"What kind of stories do you write?" he asked, sipping his porter and making a face. It was terribly sweet. He laughed a little. "Guess this is an acquired taste, too."
Charlotte shrugged. "I've always liked it. Anyway, I write lots of stuff. Mostly horror, but kind of in a twisted, macabre way." To Liam's amusement, she pronounced macabre 'mahk-AH-bah' instead of, correctly, 'mahk-AHB.' "Stuff about people being haunted by people that haven't even been born yet, where the story ends up being about that time-travel-paradox thing where the universe ends because a guy goes back in time and kills her grandmother. Twisted, freaky stuff it is." She looked quite pleased with herself.
"Well, good luck with your book," Liam said as he drained the last of his pint, "and thanks for the drink, but I really have to go. I hope I run into you again, though."
"Not quite so literally, next time," she replied, and waved, laughing, as he walked out.
She was nice. A little weird, but sweet. "Like porter, I guess," he said aloud, and headed toward the Liberation hideout, albeit a bit late.
"Well. Liam Kincaid, pleased to meet you," Charlotte said to herself. She spun around on the barstool absently, then turned back to the bartender. "Pint of stout, would you? I need another drink."
"Coming up."
It may not have seemed to any passerby that she'd learned anything about Liam, but that was a good thing: Liam was in the business of finding out when people were probing him, however lightly, for information. So she hadn't.
But she had learned a lot about him: how he acted, how he talked, his personality toward ladies (slightly weird ones in particular). Knowing these little things made her chances of succeeding a lot higher... especially knowing that, if you had a good enough lie, he'd believe you completely, asking hardly any questions. That might come in handy. Plus, now he would recongnize her when she showed up at the news conference... and trust she was there to see him, and maybe meet the Companion he was working for...
The bartender slid her stout over to her, and she drained it in one go. She was in a hurry, after all. She had a place to be later, and she had to get ready.
Six-thirty today: news conference about the probe thing that came to life and killed a bunch of people in a top secret satellite area. Taelon representative: Da'an. In audience: Zo'or, Sandoval, Liam, and a bunch of news people. Perfect. Now to come up with an exact plan.
Charlotte grimaced at the journalists from the elevated area in the back of the news conference room. They were being obnoxious -- wasn't that their job? -- and asking Da'an impatient, repetitious questions... which, to give her target credit, he was deflecting quite well. Someone had already asked him five times if the creature had really been blown up/killed/got rid of/apply varying terms here, and Da'an hadn't lost patience yet.
He must have an unlimited supply. I hate journalists -- the bloody bastards.
Zo'or kept shooting her looks to get it over with, but it wasn't time yet. The right time would present itself, like it always did.
Liam suddenly looked back and up, started, and, grinning, waved. She grinned and waved back, then nodded her head toward Da'an -- who'd just very subtly put down one of the reporters (seemed his patience wasn't unlimited after all) -- and mouthed, "Good for him!" Liam nodded and faced front again.
And... time. It was time.
Charlotte nonchalantly pulled out the small gun and, very carefully, aimed it. She sighted it, and her finger tightened...
Then she paused. She couldn't seem to bring herself to pull the trigger, and not just because she didn't really want to be the first person to kill a Taelon. She didn't really know why she couldn't shoot him, but she couldn't.
Screw the money, she thought. I always say, after a job, that it was my last. So I'll just have been telling the truth last time. God knows I have enough money to live damn comfortably already.
The absurdity of it hit her, really whacked her upside the head, for the first time. She was taking people's lives so she could pay the bills, and buy things she didn't really need for a job she definitely didn't want. Quite literally, she was reluctantly killing so she could buy things to help her reluctantly kill better. If it wasn't so horrible, she'd have laughed. Here was the dark humor she loved so much, coming back at her and kicking her in the ass.
She hadn't wanted to become an assassin, but it was the only thing she was good at. She had wanted to be a writer, like she told Liam, but she had zero talent in that direction... same as every other direction she'd tried. But there had to be something else she was good at -- and she'd find it.
I'll just quit now, while I'm ahead, go back to Newcastle-upon-Tyne to live with Jym and help her work on that needy bastard A.I.S.
Zo'or was glaring at her and, as she looked over at him, he mouthed "Do it now!"
She shook her head. No. No, last time really was the last time. He could keep the money, she did want it but she didn't need it, and if he tried to threaten her into doing it anyway he could go to hell.
All that must have actually translated through the shake of her head, for Zo'or's eyes narrowed further in an even more poisonous glare... then he looked away. Charlotte was relieved... until she saw him pull out a gun of his own, identical to the one he'd given her. She stood, frozen, as he began to aim. For Da'an.
Hey, wait. I'm not quitting now just to have some psycho do my old job for me!
She immediately dropped the Taelon weapon and reached for her holster, whipping out her good old regular human gun. She didn't want to kill Zo'or, either, much as it would serve him right for planning, then actually attempting to carry out himself, a murder.
He aimed...
She aimed...
And she fired faster.
There was an explosion from her gun, and a 'BANG!' -- two of them -- as her bullet hit Zo'or's gun and flung it out of his hands onto the linoleum floor.
All eyes turned to either her or Zo'or. Zo'or looked positively murderous for a second, then he turned to glare at Sandoval, who yelled, "A gun! She has a gun! Grab her!"
Charlotte stared down at all of them, meeting all of their gazes. Zo'or looked pleased that she, at least, was going down; Sandoval looked panicked and sickened, as if he didn't like what he was doing but was doing it anyway; Liam looked hurt, betrayed, and, above all, pissed; and Da'an, the Companion who's life she'd spared and then saved... well, his expression was startled, but mostly unreadable as he looked around the room.
Then he looked up, and their eyes met, and she unfroze.
"Ah, fuck," she said, and ran.
A/N Cont Again: Yeah, I'm leaving off there. Yeah, I'm evil. #^^# Isn't it great? I think so. I rather like how this turned out, so I'm pretty pleased at the moment. I'm gonna wait for at least 3 reviews before I continue... so if I don't reach my quota, you're gonna be left with this evil little "To Be Continued..." crap ending. So, if you like the fic and wanna find out if Charlotte gets away, what exactly went through that look between her and Da'an, whether Liam with forgive her, and/or how exactly the romance will begin, I'd review if I were you. Or else you'll be left to come up with your own ending. Your choice.
Oh, and you'll get to meet A.I.S. next chapter! Isn't that special? Believe me, he is a needy bastard... but we all (Charlotte, Jymnis, and I) love him anyway. And he can do cool stuff with other people's electronics! ^^
As I said, read and review, and I'll give you something else to read and review... a wonderful Death Spiral™, no?
As the Snooty Frenchman says, "Go away. I don' wanna talk to you no more."
~niteshayde