Genie in a Bottle
Disclaimer: Don't own WWE or any of the wrestlers. If I did own the franchise, my life would be a helluva lot better than it currently is.
Pairings: Maria / Cena
Summary: A Marine brings an old lamp home from his tour in Afghanistan, along with a genie whose intentions are good, but her wish-granting skills leave something to be desired...
Chapter One: A Lamp From A Cave...
Major John Cena, U. S. M. C., walked through the Kabul marketplace with a squad from his battalion. Cena was congratulating himself, for he'd just completed his last patrol with the unit before he was scheduled to be rotated out. It would mark the end of his third overseas tour since 2001, and he couldn't be happier to see it end.
As he walked through the busy marketplace, his senses on high alert, he half-listened to the merchants selling their trade, and did a little window-shopping himself. This tour had marked his first time in Afghanistan, and he wanted to take something home to commemorate it, as he'd done with every other place he'd ever been stationed.
One merchant stand in particular caught his eye, and he slowly led his squad through the marketplace in that direction. When they reached the stand, he glanced at the nicely-painted pottery the merchant had for sale.
"Looking for anything in particular?" the merchant asked in Afghani.
John struggled to remember his basic Afghan, and when that failed, simply smiled and shook his head. He was about to choose a vase with a lovely pattern of reds, yellows, and oranges when he saw a lamp sitting on a shelf behind the merchant. The lamp looked like an antique...something straight out of Aladdin.
The Marine officer indicated the lamp and the merchant smiled and eagerly brought it down for closer inspection. John knew he was no judge of an excellent antique, but he figured it would make a nice conversation piece someday. He got one of his subordinates to translate the amount the merchant wanted, paid for his purchase, and after clipping the lamp to his belt, led the squad back to their Humvee. Once back in his quarters on base, he stowed the lamp in his duffel and turned his thoughts back to his duties.
Ten Days Later
John stretched out on his sofa in the living room of his apartment that was about twenty minutes away from his new assignment at Camp Lejune. He couldn't have come back at a better time: his beloved Red Sox were in the National League Championship Series, and he of course had the game going as he slowly unpacked.
He was almost to the bottom of his duffel bag when he rediscovered the lamp he'd purchased. He looked at it after setting it on his coffee table and then shrugged.
"I'll get some Brasso tomorrow and polish it a little. It'll look better after that."
He then turned his attention back to the game for the remainder of the evening, and whooped loudly when Boston knocked off the Dodgers to face Philadelphia in the World Series.
With the game over, he shut the TV off and yawned. He glanced at the lamp once more and picked it up, taking a clean napkin from the pizza place he'd ordered from earlier in the evening and rubbing on the top of the lamp to see if he could get some of the tarnish off.
Suddenly, the lamp glowed in his hand and smoke began to pour out of the end. Cena hurriedly set it back on the coffee table and quickly backed away from it, his Parris Island-bred instincts now on full alert.
There was a loud bang like a gunshot and then a brief flash of light that made the Marine blink in surprise. When his vision finally cleared, a young woman was standing before him, looking incredibly confused.
Despite his astonishment, the Marine couldn't deny she was beautiful. Long auburn hair fell to her middle back, and confused eyes the color of Hershey's chocolate darted around the room, taking in her new surroundings. The royal purple top she wore only barely covered a well-proportioned chest and displayed a flat, lightly-tanned stomach, while her filmy, opaque lavender skirt wrapped around what was probably one of the most fantastic set of legs he'd ever seen.
The young woman turned to him and spoke nervously.
"Where is Sheik Hassan?"
"Who?" Cena asked blankly.
"Our Master," the young woman replied. "Did he finally receive confirmation that Rome has fallen?"
That made John do a double-take. "What? I don't know what you're talking about...I ain't got a master. My allegiance is to the United States of America and through them the United States Marine Corps."
She looked at him, seemingly interested in what he was saying.
"What's this 'United States' you're talking about?"
Cena looked at her skeptically. "The one founded in 1776 when the Continental Congress signed the Declaration of Independence."
"What's the Declaration of Independence?" was the next question, causing the Marine to gape at the young woman.
"You're shittin' me, right?"
"What's 'shittin'' mean?"
Cena took a deep breath in and slowly let it out. The girl either had amnesia or she'd been living on Neptune for quite some time and had just decided to drop back in.
"What's the last major piece of news you remember hearing about?"
A thoughtful expression came over the girl's face that Cena would've found incredibly cute had he not been so frustrated. Suddenly she brightened, and the smile she wore could've lit up a room. John was mesmerized by its beauty.
"I know!" She exclaimed. "I heard that Rome was surrounded and about to fall!"
"Oh, crap." John plopped down on the couch, and the girl sat down on the floor at his feet, looking up at him expectantly. John raised an eyebrow at her behavior.
"Um, you can sit on the couch...that's what it's for." he told her, and she graced him with another bright smile that turned his insides to mush.
"Thank you, Master!" she beamed as she got up from the floor and sat beside him on the plush leather.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa...what's this 'Master' stuff?" The Marine demanded. "I don't own you."
"You became my new Master when you released me from my lamp," was the response. "I'm allowed to grant you three wishes. Although," - an uncertain expression came over her face - "you may wish to make sure you're far from Sheik Hassan when you ask me to grant said wishes...his men are many and his power is great."
"That's it!" Cena stood up and headed into his bedroom, coming back with his laptop. He took it out of its carrying case, set it on his lap, opened it, and turned it on. As it booted up, the girl watched it in wonder.
"A magic folding box! Amazing!"
"It's called a 'laptop computer'," Cena replied uneasily, before realizing he'd never even introduced himself. "I'm John, by the way."
"I'm Maria, Master," was the reply.
With the laptop now fully loaded, John logged onto the internet, typed 'Sheik Hassan' into the Google search box, and hit 'Search'.
"Ok, let's see...Sheik Hassan Zakiri al-Shieb...died in 41 A.D.." He turned to Maria. "The guy's been dead nearly 2,000 years...I think we're cool."
The beautiful redhead was looking at an ad on the page. "Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas...wow, that must be some place if he moved his entire palace there."
John was about to inform her that the Vegas casino had absolutely nothing to do with the palace she was thinking of, when she pointed to another ad on the screen showing a shot of the Earth.
"What's that a picture of?"
"The Earth," Cena replied, and Maria blinked in surprised before staring off into the distance with a dumbfounded look on her face.
"The Earth is round?" she asked, surprised at what she'd just learned. Cena sighed. He was getting a major headache.
"Ok, I have to work tomorrow, and I need some sleep, so how about we continue this tomorrow afternoon?"
"That's fine, Master," Maria replied, going over to John's bookshelf and taking down the 'A' volume of the Encyclopedia. "I'll read for a while, if that's all right."
Cena nodded, figuring it'd give her a chance to catch up to maybe the year 100. "If you get tired of reading, there's TV or the DVD player." He showed her how to work both and left the pretty redhead mesmerized as she watched the antics of one Peter Griffin and family.