Destiny or Free Will?
Disclaimer - I own nothing of SGU. Varro would be everywhere.
Pairing - Varro/Tamara
Rating - K
Episode - Epilogue (218); SG-1 - Bounty (1015)
Summary - I just had to address the seeming forgetfulness of tptb in these last few episodes as to who TJ was actually with.
It was the guarded look he sent her that did it. TJ simply asked Varro to join her as they ate lunch. Lunch - that non romantic meal. Not the prelude of a dinner. Not the savoring of a breakfast. Lunch. She handed her tray to a somewhat bewildered Chloe and took off after him.
"So, you don't want to share even thirty minutes of your free time with me anymore?" TJ yelled after him in one of the corridors. It wasn't like they were fooling anyone anyway. They'd been dancing around each other for months and everybody knew.
"Why make it harder than it has to be?" he called back at her without breaking his stride.
"What the Hell are you talking about?" TJ continued chasing him down the corridors of Destiny. He wouldn't let her catch up. "Is it because of the ALS thing?"
Varro stopped abruptly and she plowed into his broad back. "That has absolutely nothing to do with it."
"Then there is an 'it,'" she said once she'd bounced back away from him.
"My people believe in criess -" At TJ's blank look he tried to translate. "Destiny. I've seen the way you are with Young. I saw those recordings of your life with him. It was him you chose. Not me."
TJ blew out an impatient puff of air. "I was - emphasis was - with Everett. We were both lonely and decided to be lonely together. It never was true love."
"Still doesn't explain how you ended up together on Novus"
"That wasn't me." Seriously! She had thought he was clued in to the whole 'alternate timeline' theory. Lord knew everyone had been speculating about it ever since they found those recordings.
"It still happened. We've seen proof of it. So, if you don't mind," he gritted in his cognac smooth voice. "I'm going to try and forget I was falling in love with you."
TJ was flummoxed. Utterly. "You just want me to waltz over to Everett and live my life?" How could she be so wrong about him? She'd be pissed if he went off with Vanessa James, even if - or maybe because - they'd gotten together in that alternate timeline. "You'd be okay with that?"
Varro worked his jaw for the longest time. "After I beat him to the floor and threaten his life to remind him to not take you for granted - no. But at least I'll know you'd be happy."
TJ took a moment to absorb that. "I get to choose what and who makes me happy. And you know what?" she poked his chest. "It hasn't been Everett. I was beginning to think it could be you." She didn't know what to think at that point, but figured they'd given one another enough to think about for a while. She certainly had enough to stew on.
She opened her mouth and just as abruptly closed it. She turned on a heel and headed for the med labs. She needed something to consume her attention so she didn't have to deal with the fact that this sexy, warm, world-hardened man said he loved her but was willing to escort her to Everett's door. It simply did not add up.
TJ wasn't willing to just lie down and accept that there was no cure - no treatment - for ALS. The Novus colonists, the Tamara that made a life with Everett - and how did that happen anyways? - didn't find anything in the Ancient database there.
But the Ancients seeded this end of the universe millions of years ago. Maybe if she could get access to a database from the Milky Way or from Pegasus, their research should have advanced. New answers might be available.
She sat at her desk trying to figure out how to word her request to DHWS, the IOA, and Dr Lam. Would they let her use the resources for her own personal use?
Would there be the answers she so desperately wanted?
She wasn't ready yet, but she still held out hope for a family someday. Only she wouldn't allow that day into her life if her family would watch her die by inches.
Not that there was a man around she wanted to build a family with. Not Everett. There were too many bad feelings, bad decisions, bad decisions between them.
And Varro - Varro didn't want her.
"It isn't that I want you with another man." Varro startled TJ from the funk she was swiftly descending into. How could he not want that kiss Everett interrupted? She just knew it would be a wild combination of magic and sizzle.
"I don't want another man," TJ said without turning around. After the high emotions earlier in the corridor, she didn't want him to know how confused, hurt, angry, and alone - and all of the above all over again - she felt.
Except maybe she should have turned around. Varro never did the expected. Instead of heeding the 'back off' signals she was trying to broadcast, he came up behind her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "My cousin Vartann had been pressuring me to join the Alliance. He knew me, my skills, knew I would be loyal to him as he was restructuring after Netaan died. Rienne didn't want me to have anything to do with it."
TJ just held herself still. He hadn't talked like this in months. It was oddly intimate with them back to front - almost like spooning. But it was his revelations that made her feel close to him.
"She died about three years ago." That painful fact was laid bare between them again. "After that, there was nothing holding me to this life. Rienne was everything."
"Vartann had me on this mission with Kiva to make sure of her loyalty. And it was that order that brought me to you and to life. To see you with Young would take that life from me again. But if you were happy, I would survive - alone."
TJ took a swallow and leapt just like he apparently had. Hopefully, they'd catch each other in the middle. "I want to live again too. I have lived more with you in the last year than I had in any of the five years before. If I have a future given my ALS, I want it to be with you."
She turned and took a moment for that to sink in to him. "And my having ALS? The Ancients didn't know anything about it so we can't currently cure it."
Varro's eyes changed. What secrets were held there waiting to be unlocked? "It would be my hope we'd have a long life together, Tamara. I know I would love you my life through. But I will not sacrifice one moment of joy in anticipation of pain. I have learned to suck the marrow from life."
"How can you say that? Do you know what it does to a person?" TJ couldn't quite let go of the fear surrounding that dark part of her future.
"I do know a little. When Telford was here a few days ago, I asked. We'll face it together." He tipped her chin up so she could see the truth. "Even before, it wasn't anything about the ALS that kept me away. It was thinking you really wanted him."
She ran her hands up his arms reveling in the strength there. She touched light fingers across his rugged face. He caressed the fluttering pulse at the base of her throat. He glanced from her eyes down to her lips and his eyes heated enough to rival any star they'd passed through. She reached up and claimed the kiss she wanted.
Oh and there was magic. And sizzle. And unbelievable happiness. All of a sudden she was dancing among the stars. Not just dancing but doing happy hand springs and hugging the feeling close.
How could so much be in one kiss? How could she have gone through all these years of life and not know about this?
He shifted the angle of the kiss, went deeper and all higher functions ceased. It was as if their souls touched and melded together. For a long moment, a short eternity - who knew - they explored one another.
Slowly, he pulled back. TJ was loath to have any space between them. She ached at the loss of such shattering intimacy. She did cede to the fact it was too soon for more, but her hunger and longing for him had increased thousandfold.
TJ slowly opened her eyes to see Varro staring down at her. "We'll have to do that again. And soon."
His eyes twinkled. "We certainly will." He held her gaze with the blaze in his eyes for a long time before he banked it and tucked away the desire. "So, what were you working on?"
A/N - Oh, pretty please! Reviews are like ice cream!