Memory

Well, so sorry I haven't gotten anything up in a long while, and what I do manage to write turns out to be this. I'm not sure if even I like it. I suppose it's a love or hate sort of fic, really. I manage death stories so much better. If a lot of you wonderful readers out there actually like it, I might be convinced to continue it, but don't flame me too badly! I'm too pretty to die. The characters are not mine. I only borrow them! So, have a fun time reading my attempt at a dark and angsty fic.

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Edward always wears high-necked shirts. Under his turtleneck, his usually slim neckline appears bulkier than it should, and when I reflect, I am the only one that knows why. I am a walking reprimand against silly myths, for I am undoubtedly a vampire. When I think about it, no one is safe from me, even if they do not believe they have ever heard my name whispered on dimly lit corners. If I passed you on the street, you may or may not remember such an occurrence, for my gift is the ability to modify anyone's memory.

Rather literally, for I use my modification daily, I am the presence in the background that disappears when you blink. I am your sense of fear, and yet I do not mourn my lost humanity. There is nothing true life can offer me, for sunlight does not bother me, except, perhaps, for one little thing.

Edward.

Today, I found myself in the coffee shop across from the little bookstore, avidly watching Edward interact with the people classified as his friends. I took a slow sip of coffee after a moment, and as my boredom increased, I decided it was time to feed my addiction. With a sadistic little smile alight on my face, I closed my eyes and let my mind slip into those about me. With very little sorting, I was immersed in the past and present of Edward.

Memories surrounded me, but emotions were a far of island atop a stormy sea. I have long since learned to not search for such trivialities, no matter how exotic they seem to me after years of going without, and set about doing what I had visited his mind to complete. Quick sorting of today's events brought me the knowledge of Edward's driver's license. He had tucked it away in his pocket this morning, but that was no matter. Smiling inside of the picture perfect image of Edward brushing his teeth, I quickly pulled the memory I was after from his consciousness. With nimble 'fingers', for I have not found a better word to describe my actions, I set about reweaving a particular memory. Now, he believed that he had left the precious card at home on his dresser.

I slipped back into myself, smiling with satisfaction. Yes! Edward stood, excusing himself from the group. "I just realized I left a certain important item at home, so I'll be back! Don't leave without me." After a few catcalls of what exactly his 'important item' was, my prey vanished into his car, heading for home.

I crumpled my coffee cup in my hand absently, trying to wait for the proper time to stand and pursue him. Even from here I could almost taste his scent, a delicious mix of chocolate and hazelnut. My mouth watered as I stood and carelessly tossed my cup into the nearest trash can. My eyes were still focused on the place where Edward's Volvo had disappeared, but I navigated to my Porsche without any scrapes. I slipped inside, and turned the ignition. Even now, the delectable smell of him lingered in my nostrils, and it was almost impossible for me to keep my eyes on the road as I sped after him.

It almost seemed as if I flew to his apartment, for I arrive just after Edward pulled into the compound's driveway. After parking a few blocks away and calming myself, I purposefully stepped onto the sidewalk and strode to the doorway that he had already disappeared into.

Guilt for the act that was to come filled me, but I pushed it away. So I was selfish, so I wanted something that I should never have. I am a monster, and abomination, and self control has never been a part of my personality. A self centered smile flitted at my lips as I stopped at his door and pressed the bell, giving a little wince as the sound echoed through his apartment. For yet another time in my unlife, there was no going back for me.

There was a short pause before the door opened to show a frustrated Edward, who ran his hand through his hair, murmuring under his breath about where he could possibly have left his license. He looked a bit surprised to see me, and then cleared his throat. "What do you need?" he asked slowly, eyeing me.

Letting a nervous smile settle on my face, I spoke. "Oh! I'm Bella, and I found your driver's license on my table at the coffee shop. You know the one, right by that bookstore? Yes? Well, I had seen you with that group of people, but when I went over to find you, you were already gone. Your friends directed me over here." I shifted from foot to foot, as if unsure of myself. He just nodded, and gestured inside. I knew why, really. For him, there was something familiar about me, for even if memories can be erased, I had never managed to be able to rid a person of impressions of people. Quickly, just in case he lost his nerve, I stepped quickly through the doorway. The rooms smelled of him, almost made me want to lunge at him with the door open and several people watching. Closing my eyes for a second, I pushed down the urge to take his blood, and watched as Edward closed the door.

Edward led me to the kitchen, and poured himself a cup of coffee. "Want one?" he asked, and I quickly shook my head no, knowing that it would be my end if he came that close to me. Shrugging, he continued as I turned my face away in a small effort to control myself. "So, where exactly did you find my drivers license?" It was time now, I knew it. Standing slowly, I walked to him letting his fragrance take over me.

My breath came out in a hiss as I plucked his license from his back pants pocket and forced it into his hand. He stared at me, and backed away into the counter, stuttering. "What is this? Who are you, really?" I smiled sadly as Edward tried to push me away without success. With trembling hands, for my senses were filled with the rich scent of him, I tugged the neck of his turtleneck down, and pulled the bandaging away from his precious neck, where I was awarded a view of a new wound which could only be my bite mark.

I had done this so many times before, lured Edward to me and took his blood. He tasted perfect beyond imagining, a heady mix of blood and dark chocolate. I had let his blood flow down my tongue as I sampled his memories more times than I could count, immersed myself in all things Edward. This time was not the first, and would not be the last, for I always sucked the venom away, reclaimed the poison that would take Edward's magnificent blood away from me.

Gently, as Edward babbled his fear and disbelief, I let my mouth rest against the same spot on his beautiful neckline, and sunk my teeth into Edward. His blood mingled over my tongue as I drank greedily, and his memories swirled with mine in my mind. Pictures of life flashed before me as I lost myself in the mixture of his life giving fluid; let the liquid roll down my throat like fire. My eyes closed in satisfaction against his skin, my eyelashes fluttering.

It was so hard to pull away after so little of him, without his final life in my mouth. But I had done so before, knowing well that if I did not that I would never again have the taste of Edward on my tongue. I pulled away slowly, and let my lips lap at the blood that beaded on his skin as I resist the urge to take all of him that he could give. The aroma of his spilled burgundy liquids pounded at my scenes, even as I stumbled away. I refused to give him up yet, would not let him depart from me. I was guilty of being selfish, but with his blood burning down my throat, I could not win against myself.

Trembling inside, I reached forward and fixed the bandage over his long lasting injury, the pulled his shirt up to cover it. Even as I did so, I let my mind sink into his, sorting through his most recent memory. I plucked it from his mind, replacing it with a carefully woven story of finding his license and deciding to take a nap. Methodically, I removed myself from his psyche, and picked his slumped for up in my arms. Doing my best not to rip his shirt away from his neck once more, or sink my teeth into a different part of his body, I carried him into the living room. After carefully depositing him on the couch, with thoughts of his delightful scent on blood still lingering within my mind, I glanced over at the kitchen.

I had been careful this time, it seemed, for no blood had been spilled on Edward's floor or counter. I let a content smile alight on my lips as I passed through the kitchen and into the hallway that seemed to be coated in Edward's aroma on my way to the door.

It was only days later until I realized that I had not, in fact, sucked the poison from his system.