Delicacy: To Unlove you
Susannah knows she has to let go; she knows she must stop it; she knows it's wrong love fall in love with Jesse. Read ahead why and learn why she must 'unlove' him. She must do this one horrible job, and it's hard for her because her heart is so delicate.
(Note: Jesse is still a ghost)
There are times were you must make decisions that you know will break your heart. But whatever it takes, you have to do it. Have you faced such a tremendous event? If you haven't, you have not yet felt the pain and the guilt you will feel.
Susannah Simon sat on her roof, looking out to the bright, gleaming star that showed off its rays against the dark, black sky. She watched carefully, sometimes remembering what Father Dominic had told her what stars could mean.
Stars could represent free people, people who may have passed on and dedicated their lives to the world so they could watch over the people and let everyone be safe. Susannah sighed as her eyes searched the sky, as if searching for an easier way out.
Usually, at this time of night, and whenever she was out here, Jesse De Silva would be sitting beside her, probably talking to her in that soft, silky voice of his. They would probably be talking about mediating, and how Susannah could 'do better'.
Or even they could be talking about themselves. He would smile at her at times, making her heart pound heavily against her chest, believing that Jesse knew what he was doing to her. Even just thinking about Jesse made her heart rate speed up. Her breathing became shallow, and this time she closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears.
Deep in her heart, she truly, truly wanted Jesse to be with her right now. But she knew it was wrong; ever since Susannah had miraculously made Father Dominic talk about his personal life again, she found out why it, why falling in love with Jesse, was wrong.
Back when the RLS Angels were attacking Michael, or more like they were planning to kill him, there was one point where Father Dominic mentioned, or more like Susannah guessed, that he had fallen in love with a ghost. After Jesse had interrupted them, she believed she would never get Father Dominic to talk about again.
But she did.
Somehow, during school, she had got him to talk about his personal life. That ghost he had fallen in love with had seemed like what was happening between Jesse and her. And because of the event that happen to Father Dominic, how he was afraid to fall in love, and how hurt he looked every now and then
And she did not want to end up like that.
She knew she was still young; she was only 16. At sixteen, when you think you're in love you think it's true love. And what if the fortune teller didn't mean that Jesse was her one love? Maybe it would be someone in the future.
Susannah let her head rest on her knees, sighing as she did so. Her hair caught in the soft breeze, and soon enough she sensed someone standing behind her. Susannah didn't even turn around, for she knew well enough it was the person she needed to talk to, and she meant that in a very bad way. A heartbreaking way.
"Querida, what are you doing out here?" Susannah heard Jesse say. Again, she didn't turn her head but kept facing the same direction. She barely heard what he said, her thoughts kept her mind busy on what she was going to tell Jesse.
"Susannah," Jesse began again, "are you mad at me?" Susannah frowned and this time she let her forehead touch her knees. She felt oncoming tears and fought back to keep them from falling.
"Susannah…" Jesse whispered in the silky voice of his. Susannah bit her lip and closed her eyes shut. She vowed to keep her from speaking and her from crying. But Susannah felt Jesse's warm hand on her shoulder, sending goosebumps throughout her body.
"Jesse…" Susannah spoke, cursing quietly that she broke her vow. Jesse sat beside her, still keeping his hand on her shoulder.
"What is wrong, Querida?" Jesse asked, this time his voice becoming more serious. Susannah pursed her lips together, wanting to burst into tears and cry on his broad shoulders. She wanted Jesse to hold her in his arms and whisper things in her ear, telling her that it'll be alright.
But it wouldn't.
It wouldn't be alright even if he said so. It would because this problem was about him. It was about Susannah looking in Jesse's eyes, his dark, chocolate eyes, and saying she didn't love him.
Yet, it sounded odd.
Jesse didn't know she loved him. That's right, loved. Not loves, but loved. Susannah could just say "I don't love you" and walk away. First, she'd have to confess she used to have feelings for him and now she has a reason why it's gone.
Boy, that sounded confusing.
Susannah snapped back to reality and remembered that Jesse was right there, sitting beside her. Susannah took two deep breaths and faced him, looking into his eyes.
That was her mistake.
Right when she looked into his beautiful, perfect eyes she blushed and turned around. Jesse narrowed his eyes and made her turn around. Susannah sniffled as she found her eyes beginning to tear up again. Why was this so hard?
"Susannah, my Querida, what is wrong? I have never seen you so upset," Jesse said, wrapping one arm around her shoulder. It took Susannah a second to realize what he had done and right at that moment she pulled away, almost losing her balance.
Susannah gasped loudly, waving her arms around to try grab something. Jesse reached out and grabbed her hand, giving once glance of panic. Susannah immediately pulled herself towards Jesse, but once again lost her balance – this time the other way – and landed on Jesse.
Susannah looked up and saw how close her face was to Jesse's. She felt blood rush up to her face and she looked down to try and hide it. But, to her dismay, she ended up looking down his shirt, being able to see his amazing abs.
This caused Susannah to blush even harder.
She pushed herself off, letting her face cool off before she did something even more embarrassing, like ending up kissing Jesse after all. Which, she promised to herself, would not happen. Not tonight, not tomorrow, not ever. Not in a lifetime.
Susannah had taken another deep breath and faced Jesse, slightly looking at something that was behind him so she wouldn't blush again.
"Jesse," she began, slowly counting in her head, "we-"
"Yo, Suze, CeeCee's on the phone!" Brad yelled from her door. Susannah showed a face of annoyance. Here she was, the perfect moment of telling Jesse, and Brad just had to interrupt.
"Tell her I'll be right there!" Susannah yelled towards her window, through her window, and to where Brad was standing. "I'll talk to you later," she said, this time quietly and to Jesse. She saw him nod as she stood and left. Susannah walked towards her door and took the phone from Brad's hand.
"Yes?" Susannah asked, sounding disappointed.
"What's wrong, Suze? You sound depressed. Anyway, I'm calling just to give you a heads up; Paul Slater is going to make, shall we say, a very public confession," CeeCee said, sounding disgusted. Susannah didn't let her face expression change and neither did her voice. She faced back at the window, seeing Jesse coming in the room. Susannah tried to give a somewhat hopeful smile.
"I think," she began, looking at Jesse deeply this time, "it'll be better than what's happening to me right now. Thanks, CeeCee," Susannah sighed, hanging up. Jesse walked towards her, looking dead serious.
He didn't seem mad, just serious.
Jesse uncrossed his arms and placed both hands on both her shoulders. He looked deeply into Susannah's eyes, causing her to turn her head away. Jesse cupped her chin and made her face him once again. Susannah was now unwillingly forced to listen to Jesse.
"Querida, I'm sorry if I'm the one who made you mad," he said, looking at her as if he had done something wrong. "But if I am the reason, then please know I am truly sorry," he said. Susannah tried to stop her jaw from trembling. She soon realized that Jesse's and her lips were barely a centimeter apart. That's why when he talked, she could feel his soft, warm breath on her nose.
With Jesse's arms resting on her shoulder's there was no way she could pull away without Jesse thinking he had done something wrong. That why what Jesse did next made her feel even more guilt.
She felt his warm lips meet hers, soon caressing hers softly. One of his hands soon found their way to her back, bringing her in closer to deepen the kiss. Jesse let her go slowly, as if looking sorrier than ever.
"I'm sorry if I'm so forward," he whispered, looking deeply into Susannah's eyes. Susannah bit her lip, trying dearly to not let her tears fall. "But I'm truly, deeply, and dearly in love with you."
And with that, her plan backfired.
That is chapter one. PLEASE REVIEW!
Do you think Susannah has the guts to actually unlove Jesse? Does she have the heart?