Chuck Verses the Powers That Be
Chapter One:
A PUB
Sara and Chuck are in a little pub playing darts, drinking beer, Huey Lewis sings 'Attitude.'
Chuck is dancing, in the zone, on a roll, uninhibited and amusing, incorporating into the theme of his moves some of Sara's fight moves - only Elvissy, not Chucknorrisy, Sarah is watching, amazed and delighted.
A small ancient slow moving Asian woman comes by selling flowers. Sarah sees the woman before Chuck does and she is curious, knowing Chuck will buy her flowers - just not how.
Chuck sees the woman a moment later and begins to dance toward her. Darts in mouth, still dancing, he opens wallet, handing her a bill and pulling out one of each of the five colors, while on one leg, Sarah laughing with amused joy. The Asian woman, through her cagey watchful eyes, also seems rather delighted by the dance and antics. Chuck dances back to Sarah and hands her the flowers.
A man yells, "Hey, Gramma, I told you I don't want you in here bothering my guests. I also told you - remember? - next time I'd call the cops. Well I mean it this time when I say next timer I'll call the cops! Now get out."
Chuck, mellow, smooth, charming, persuasive, "You can't talk to an old person like that. Have you any idea how much someone has lived through by the time they get this age? She is like some god down from Mount Olympus wandering amongst us to test us and inspire us."
"You're cut off! Debbie, this dude's had enough."
Sarah laughs.
INISIDE A MERCEDES
Huey Lewis sings 'Attitude". Harold S Williams is driving, looking very comfortable behind the wheel, holding a phone to his ear, watching the road as intensely as if it was video game.
APARTMENT
Casey, in an apartment in the hills, in front of a plate glass window, LA at night twinkling in the background, answers. "Harold."
"Sorry I'm late buddy! I'm ten minutes away."
"Nice apartment."
"How do you like the Parrot?"
Casey looks over his shoulder at a parrot who is staring at him. "He talks too much. "
"How is Sarah?"
"Can have the long conversation about Sarah when you get here?"
"Truth be told, pal, I'm not coming."
"You're not coming?"
The Parrot says, "I knew it. Squawwk. I knew it."
"I'm working on the story of the century. However, the government does not want that story told and is suddenly 'investigating' me. I'm in trouble. Man verses the powers that be trouble. I'm going off the grid for awhile, Colonel."
His car suddenly picks up speed, which perplexes him. "Hold on." He puts the cell phone down on the seat and tries to control the car but it keeps going faster… He passes a sign that says "25 miles an hour", his speedometer reads 65. He is applying his breaks, his emergency breaks, he's turning the key off, nothing happens. The car is like a runaway train. He is starting to get nervous. "Something's wrong here. This is Man from Uncle stuff."
"Harold!"
Harold speaks loudly to his phone on the seat, "Johnny, I need you to do something for me! I need you to protect that parrot."
"Is this one of your elaborate jokes?" Casey asks, hoping it is.
Harold, "Trust me on this buddy." The speedometer keeps going up. "Guard that parrot with your life!"
Casey scowls at the Parrot.
THE STREET
Sarah and Chuck come out of the little pub, amused, side by side; she bumps him coquettishly tomboy style and coos, eyeballing him adoringly, "My own little Carmichael." She locks her arm through his.
He says, "I feel like Michael Corleone with Kay in New York."
Sarah looks at him, puzzled.
"At Christmas. Remember that? The Godfather?" It dawns on him that things didn't work out well between Michael and Kay. "Before it all went sour."
"Michael…I mean, Chuck," she says, suddenly stopping and looking down.
He thinks she's doing a bit from the movie so he responds as Michael, "No, Kay - I mean Sarah - I would not leave you for some beautiful Italian girl with magnificently beautiful breasts."
"Chuck, Look."
He looks and the ancient Asian woman is sitting propped against the wall looking dead, the flowers in her hand laying flat on the sidewalk.
Sarah starts to bend over the woman; the woman snores violently and wakes up.
Sarah jumps back, startled.
Chuck, "Mental note, Sarah is freaked out by the dead jumping back to life. Ask Dr Morgan to prognosticate on that."
Old woman awkwardly gets up, smiling sheepishly. Then in one quick surprise move she goes into ninja combat stance, seemingly, to point at Chuck. He is startled and jumps back. She says, "You good dancer!"
Sarah, "Memo to self. Chuck was freaked out by the same lady I was."
Lady, "You kind people. You compare me to Aphrodite!"
Chuck puzzled, "What?"
Sarah, "The Mount Olympus thing."
"I want give you gift." She hands them each a fortune cookie.
They thank her. Chuck opens his. With great joy he more announces than reads, "You will marry the woman of your dreams and of your choice!"
Sarah with great expectations opens her cookie and reads the fortune and is crestfallen. She looks up with a brave frown. "You will forever be single." Her gay mood ripped away from her.
Chuck looks at the old woman with a 'Why?' gesture.
The old woman shrugs to say, 'I'm not responsible for the messages in the cookies.'
"Ahhh," Chuck is touched profoundly by Sara's sudden mood and yearns with all his heart to bring her back to that happy spirit she was just in. He hugs her in such a manner - and she hugs him back with all her heart. They gaze at each other with true love blaring from their eyes.
Chuck knows nothing can jinx him this time, "You ever notice how every time we start to kiss something happens to squelch it?"
She smiles, puts her finger on his lips and then starts to kiss him.
Harold's Mercedes blurs by at a hundred miles an hour. Chuck and Sarah turn to face the street, astounded, not even noticing their kiss has been interrupted.
Chuck looks at Sarah and suddenly a loud explosion thumps them. The car, three blocks away, is on fire, parts of it raining from the sky and hitting the earth with clanks, another part, an engine, is rolling down the street scraping like a tiger sliding down a rocky cliff side, sending sparks splattering.
APARTMENT
Casey is pacing the balcony. "Harold!"
And then he sees way across town a little fireball ablaze.
He stares with intense rage for a long moment and then we hear a low guttural Clint Eastwoodeque groan that says, 'My inner vengeance spirit has just been activated.' He puts his phone back in his pocket. He turns and walks with intense purpose out of the apartment.
He comes back in
The parrot says. "Oh-oh!"
Casey takes off his coat and wraps the bird up in it and heads for the door; the parrot yells, "Unhand me you fiend." As he closes the door behind him we hear the parrot say, "Why I oughta…."
THE STREET
Chuck and Sara run down the street toward the burning car, Sarah gets their first and is staring in amazement at the spectacular inferno before her. Chuck joins her, stands beside her, shaking his head. A man appears beside him with a garden hose, people are showing up filming with their cell phones. A siren is in the distance.
A man yells, "I'm a roving reporter, anyone know what happened here exactly?"
Sara and Chuck look at the man with 'we're wondering the same thing' expressions as Huey Lewis finishes his song.
Chapter Two:
Sara and Casey are facing General Beckman on their wall screen. Her usual sourpuss countenance glowers at them.
"Goodmorning General." Sarah says.
"Goodmorning."
Casey, "Good…"
"Enough chitchat. I have a meeting with The Man Whose Identity Must Never Be Exposed in four and a half minutes. He does not tolerate tardiness."
"I heard he takes people 'hunting'," Casey says and then looks at Sarah like a camp councilor telling a scary store at night, "If you know what I mean."
Sara's perplexed countenance suggests she has a strong idea and doesn't want to think of it.
Casey looks back at the screen, "General, something Big stinks Bad around here and I'm requesting assistance from your office to help me get to the bottom of it. A friend of mine, the journalist Harold S Williams, was killed last night…"
"It's not our business. I have no time for this. Save it for the break room," she says with a tone that suggests she considers the good, noble, courageous and truly patriotic Harold S Williams nothing but an insect.
Casey stares at her (ala Bruce Willis after his first encounter with John Travolta in 'Pulp Fiction') insulted by this remark. Casey surreptitiously sucks in a deep breath and slowly seethes it out like invisible fire and says, "He was murdered, general, I am certain of it."
"Colonel, the story is he was hopped up on this, jacked up on that, traveling a hundred miles an hour - and he hit a palm tree. Case closed. Now I want to talk about Chuck."
"With all due respect, general, he was murdered. He was a friend of mine. That 'Official Version' crap will not cut it with me - not this time." He adds firmly, "I know things aren't supposed to get personal - but sometimes they do, nonetheless."
Sarah looks at him to see if he is referencing to her genuine fondness for Chuck, teasingly, of course, but perceives by Casey's ice cold tone and fiery hot countenance that she is not on his mind at all. A subtle sense of admiration for Casey stirs in her. She looks back at the general.
"Colonel, need I inform you I could have you arrested – vis-à-vis the Patriot Act?"
"General." Casey is doubtful of her claim and says so with an almost impudent tone.
"Article XYZ - letters symbolizing the numbers we are not at liberty to reveal -in a passage censored for security reason - gives me the right to detain anyone indeterminately I consider to be a possible threat to the nation or even a nuisance or in some special but not so rare as you'd imagine cases, a mugwump, so don't push your luck with me, Colonel." She leans into the camera. "Are we on the same page, Colonel?"
Sarah is concerned and looking at Casey sideways, trying to encourage him to be agreeable with her - for his own good. Casey raises his eyebrows enough to see her peripherally and recognize her message. He almost bites his lip but heeds Sarah's advice.
"Same page. Same paragraph. Same sentence, word, letter, Sir!"
"Are you getting snippy with me?"
"Yes, but now it's out of my system, I'll be okay."
General Beckman stares at him like he is a perplexing puzzle. Then she sighs, "My condolences, John, for the loss of your friend. But life must go on. And for life to go on the eternal struggle for survival must proceed unceasingly."
"Same page, General."
"Fine. Now to Chuck. We've come up with a perfect solution. We're going to put an implant in his head. We'll always know where he is. And if by some chance he gets kidnapped by someone we simply blow him up by remote control."
Sarah is aghast. Casey now makes a similar plea for her to remain unreadable to the general. Sarah starts to heed his advice but blurts, "That's horrible!"
"Dear - I mean, Sarah - it's only a last resort in the unlikely but conceivable event of a kidnapping - it's better than a preemptive killing, which, if you'll recall, has been considered and has never been taken off the table."
Casey says to Sarah, "Just make sure he doesn't get kidnapped. And we are already doing that."
The general continues, as business-like as ordering a gross of widgets, "The surgery is scheduled for next Friday. Don't tell him anything about it. He doesn't need to know about this. Before or after."
"Isn't that illegal, general?" Casey asks; his edginess now hovering around him like a spirit.
"Need I refer back to the Patriot Act, Colonel?" General Beckman huffs curtly. "Believe me, it's legal."