Not mine, not making any money.
A Christmas Wish
By Jan
I listened to the doctor as he went over my injuries. Leg broken in three places, concussion, possible eye damage on top of various cuts and bruises. I'd be in traction for the next three weeks to realign the bones while they knitted together. Low lighting in the room, no tv, no books or computer, nothing that could cause eye strain.
I couldn't remember what happened but Lester filled me in. Our skip had run to California. Lester, Bobby Tank and I had followed. We found him holed up in his brother's house. After a brief struggle he was in handcuffs. We'd cleared the house and were headed back to the trucks when the house blew. I was the closest and was half way turned toward the house and took the worse damage. I was brought in unconscious, taken into surgery where they repaired my leg and removed debris from my eyes.
Lester had a broken arm and a concussion. Bobby and Tank were far enough away that they only suffered from some bruising. The skip wasn't hurt at all. Les was stuck here with me, the other two had headed home, taking the skip with them. Which was a good thing, the way I was feeling if I could get my hands on the skip he'd be down a couple stories in the morgue.
I let my mind wander, thinking about Steph and what she was doing. She and Morelli had broken up right after Halloween and it seemed to have stuck. I had been slowly moving in on her, giving her time to do her usual thing and go back to him. So far she had shown no sign of wanting to go back and Morelli had even started dating some girl who worked at the coffee shop.
I had stopped by her apartment to let her know I'd be gone, telling her I'd be back by Christmas. I had actually walked out the door when I had turned around, pinned her to the wall and kissed her, letting her go only after both of us were out of breath and I could feel her heart pounding. One last soft kiss and I had left.
And now here I was, totally fucked up. A week before Christmas and no chance of making it home. Why was I even thinking about Christmas. I'm looking at permanent damage here, what could I offer Steph. She always said I was perfect. I'd never wanted her to see me as anything else. The pain and exhaustion I was feeling took over and I fell asleep thinking about her.
I woke up to a nurse checking me over, taking my temperature and making sure everything was still hooked up correctly. My attention wasn't on her though, I watched as a cheerful candy stripper brought in a poinsettia. I glared at her but she ignored me, obviously the nurse's opinion was more important to her than mine was. She giggled Merry Christmas as she left the room.
"No" I said, looking at the nurse and then at the poinsettia.
The nurse just smiled, told me someone would be in later, and left the room, leaving the plant behind. I glared at the offending object.
"That's not going to get it gone you know. Besides I like it" I heard Lester say from his bed next to mine. Although he wasn't hurt bad the military hospital we were in was letting him stay with me as a guard.
"I don't."
"Too bad, this is my room too and I want a little Christmas cheer. It would be fun to have a big tree with lots of decorations though. Oh and Christmas cookies, I really want cookies!" Les continued on.
I stopped paying attention and thought about the one thing I wanted for Christmas – Stephanie. But she was there, I was here, and I wasn't perfect anymore. My mood further deteriorated at that thought. I closed my eyes and willed myself asleep and away from those painful thoughts.
The next time I woke up, it was to see the same damn candy striper hanging a stocking at the head of my bed.
"Mr. Manoso" I heard my doctor lecture "remember no eye strain. The more you let your eyes relax the less damage you risk and the quicker they will heal." He must have caught me glaring at the stocking. After applying drops to my eyes and checking everything else he left again, reminding me again that I needed be stay relaxed.
"Relax my ass."
"Come on Ranger, it's Christmas, suck it up." Lester said.
"Fuck Christmas" I growled.
"Talk like that is going to get you on Santa's naughty list" Les was openly laughing now.
"Fuck Santa too."
"That is just wrong man. Don't blame me when you get coal in your stocking."
I tuned Lester out again. Thinking about Christmas was too damn depressing, it made me think of Steph and what I couldn't have. I closed my eyes again.
I woke up to Christmas music playing from a radio by Lester's bed and worse I could see garland hanging up around the room. "What the hell, every time I wake up there's more of this shit."
"What shit? I don't see any shit.." Les asked looking around the room innocently.
"Santos" I gowled.
"It's Christmas, get over yourself."
"Come over here and say that" I dared.
"Nope, I'm fine where I'm at."
"I'll remember this" I threatened. But it had no affect as Lester just laughed. Pissed I threw my plastic glass at him. He returned fire with a rolled up sock and the war was on. Anything that was in reach became a missile. A nurse walked in just as I was about to launch my bedpan. "Mr. Manoso, do you need some help?"
I quickly put the pan down. "No."
"Are you sure? It's nothing to be embarrassed about" she continued.
"No."
Lester was laughing so hard he almost fell out of bed.
The days continued like that. More Christmas crap would appear every time I went to sleep; our room was looking like a Christmas bomb had gone off in it. By the time Christmas Eve came around I was depressed and angry. It was all I could do to be civil to Lester, I ignored the nurses and candy stripers and barely listened to the doctor when he gave me my update.
Some times I'd like to live in Steph's denial land, to just forget the bad stuff, and only see the good. But that's not me, all I can hope for is a swift end for tonight, and for tomorrow to be over so that I can move on. I had no Christmas expectation that all my wishes would be granted.
I pushed away my uneaten dinner. Lester saw and immediately claimed it for himself.
"Thanks" he said as he started shoveling my food down. "You sure you don't want it?"
Huh, it was already half gone. I just shook my head.
"Christmas Eve, man. I can't wait to see what Santa brings."
"Santa isn't bringing anything."
"Maybe not for you cause you've been naughty, but I've been a very good boy, and I mean very good" he said with a leer. "Santa is going to bring me lots."
"You do know that Santa isn't real don't you?" I asked only half joking. You never really knew with Lester.
"Bite your tongue! You just have to believe."
I turned my head away, no longer willing to talk about it, closing my eyes I fell asleep.
I came awake to the feel of soft lips brushing gently across mine. I opened my eyes to see two blue eyes looking back at me. "Merry Christmas" she whispered against my lips.
"What are you doing here?"
"Santa brought me" she replied with another soft kiss.
"Babe"
The whisper soft kisses ended as she pressed her lips against mine. I could feel her tongue probing for entry. I couldn't resist any longer. I returned the kiss deepening it. I reached up for her, pulling her tight against my chest. Finally pulling away I rested my forehead against hers.
"Babe"
"Ranger"
"Stephanie" I took a deep breath, no point in pretending. "I'm screwed up, eye damage, leg damage."
"So?"
"Babe, did you hear me, permanent damage."
"Only on the outside, baby. It's what inside that's important."
I stared into her eyes, searching for the truth of that statement. Only seeing acceptance and love I felt the knot inside me loosen
I kissed her again, hard and possessive. I would have continued but movement from the bed next door drew her attention.
"Merry Christmas Les" she called over to him.
"Merry Christmas. Santa deliver you Bombshell?"
"Yup and I think he left some stuff for you too."
That's all it took and Les joined us. He reminded me of a kid, looking all around for possible presents. Steph reached down and grabbed a duffel bag stuffed with presents. As she handed out the presents all I could think was that I'd already gotten the best gift ever.