EDIT Dec/2012: What the hell?! It's me - Saz! 2000 years later! Haaa... I've edited this story to remove sensitive information. I was young and silly when I wrote this lol! I decided to edit it rather than delete - as mad as this story is, reading it back holds a lot of memories for me. I don't expect anyone has read this for over a decade but just in case you people ARE still out there - *wave*
Disclaimer: Same old, same old… Not mine. Don't sue.
AN: Ok, blatant self-insertion fic ahead! Its not one of those ones where I make all the pilots fall in love with me though.. heh heh… But it does feature me. This fic was inspired by a dream I had and a slight fantasy of my own ^_^ Don't worry I'm gonna keep it clean… for the most part :D
I wasn't lying when I said it was a 1+R and 2xH… If you read, you shall see!
Also, this fic is written in an odd style.
It features me talking, like I am recounting events (which is written normally) and then me remembering the actual events (which is in italics.) I hope its not too confusing!
Enjoy!
'Careful What You Wish For...
The one thing that all Gundam Wing fans want more than anything in the world has to be to meet their favourite characters… right? It's the one wish that they all want to come true whilst knowing it never will. I mean, obviously, they're fictional. They aren't real… right?
Wrong.
If there has been something that I have learned in this life, it is that you should be careful what you wish for…
…you just might get it.
Have you ever thought that it would be so great if you could have a wish, just one wish and you could have, be, or do anything you want? I can tell ya, that when the chance comes up, you should look before you leap…
You wanna hear my story?
Well, you asked for it.
"Come on Saz, you're just getting annoying now." My friend tugged on my arm; she was getting annoying. I hate traipsing around London… For one thing, the place is massive, and you become all too aware of its size at 9pm at night.
"Will you let go, I can keep up on my own."
"Fine, just make sure you do. We don't want to be late do we?"
"Yeah, yeah…"
I was going to a party. I wasn't really thrilled about going, being a non-smoker I wasn't looking forward to being engulfed in the smog clouds. I ended up about 10feet behind as my best-friend rocketed towards the house to join in the frenzy off beer and cigarettes. Ooo, I couldn't wait.
"Are you going to sit out in the garden all night?" a male voice asked.
One of my friends had kinda creepily stepped silently out of the shadows. Don't you hate it when people think you can't be friends with a guy? That SOMETHING MUST be going on?
"Yup. I didn't even want to come here, why should I pretend like I am enjoying myself?"
"Because it's a birthday party, and it's your friend's birthday party." I angrily turned away from him to look into the dark garden. I suddenly start feeling guilty. Damn boys and their ability to make you feel like crap.
"I'll come in later, I just needed some fresh air. You can barely see a meter in front of your face in there." He smiled, patting me on the shoulder as he turned to go back in.
I just sat out there for about an hour, thinking of a million excuses to go home. It was cruel of me I know, but I really wanted to leave. I wasn't in the party spirit, it would have been better for me to just call her later congratulating her on officially becoming an adult and send her a card. I mean, after leaving college we hardly spoke anyway. I guess she invited me just to add to her tally of guests.
"I'm sorry, I really have to go, and I told my mum that I wouldn't be too late. Coming home from London and all. I know she'll be worrying." She didn't even seem to be paying attention to me.
"Ok, well, I'll just be going then." I hugged her and she hugged back, smiling like a fool. Totally drunk. I mentally noted to call her in the morning, to make sure she was ok.
"Seeya later Saz, I'll call you sometime ok?" At that, she was off into the sea of bopping bodies. I sighed in relief I could finally get out of here.
After I said my goodbye's and fought off the evil looks, worthy of Heero Yuy himself, I made my way outer there. Gasping at the cool clean air, trying to remove all the crap I had no-doubt breathed in during my struggle to make it across the room. I was all alone now, and I had to get a train all the way back home. Fun.
Little did I know, that I wouldn't make it to the train station.
"Jesus it's cold." When I was alone, that was the only time I would talk out loud to myself. I walked a good way to the end of the long street, making my way, slowly, to the desolate train station. I looked at the vaguely visible watch on my wrist to see the time. It was 1:30am.
"Bloody Hell. Mum is gonna have my head."
I know I know, Bloody Hell, and Mum… I'm British, what did you expect?
"I wish, that I had a Gundam, I wish I had Deathscythe Hell. Ooo, no! I wish I had Wing Zero Custom… That thing has wings, I could fly home." I walk on and on progressing slowly towards the station, musing to myself how great it would be to use Deathscythe Hell's nifty stealth features to scare the crap out of my brother when I got home.
All the while, that I was thinking about Gundams and frightening my brother into an early grave, I didn't stop to realize that something was watching me.
"Finally." I see in the distance the station, its faint buzzing lights are like a beacon. I feel a hefty weight on my mind slip away. I was finally going to go home and forget this awful night.
Feeling too relieved about being just one train ride away from home, I didn't pay attention to the van that was heading down the road towards me. I was too busy thinking about my bed, and for some reason how great it would be if Duo was in it when I got back. Oops, did I just write that? ^_^;
"I really need to write one of those lists… A 100 symptoms of Duo-addiction." Smiling to myself I unconsciously realize that the station is on the other side of the road.
Without the slightest thought, I stepped out into the road. I remember being suddenly aware that I was cold again as a strong gust of wind from the oncoming vehicle hit me.
"I wish I was anywhere but here." I looked up.
By then it was too late.
I screamed mere seconds before impact.
Then everything was black.
I bet you're wondering right about now… or maybe after the first few lines; what the hell does this have to do with Gundam Wing? If it was me, I'd be thinking the same thing. But don't you worry. Our favourite pilots are bound to show up somewhere around here. ^_^
I am distinctly aware of someone near me. I know they are there. I can hear them breathe.
Don't worry, it's not who you think it is. I know with that preamble, it's easy to understand why you wou-... Ahem. Let's carry on, shall we?
I try to force my eyes open, but a painful white light fills them. Instead I try to move. My body aches a little, but nothing seems too serious. I suddenly remember the van. Sitting up fiercely I force my eyes open.
I wasn't prepared for what I saw. Stupidly I thought I was looking at a TV at first, but that didn't account for the fact that the whole room looked surreal. Or, for lack of a better word; animated.
"What the fu-"
"You're finally awake then. You took you're damn time." I felt queasy, and light-headed.
"Huh? HEY! Don't pass out again! You damn humans! Always so troublesome!" Before my mind succumbed to darkness I felt a harsh slap across my cheek.
Damnit… I didn't WANT to faint!
"Wake up you moron! I have a job to do here. I can't do it if you keep conking out on me!" The woman's disembodied voice seethed with irritation… I opened my eyes again to see her face looming in front of mine.
Who would have thought omnipotent-beings were that hot-headed?
"Am I dead?" The face in front of me changed from disgusted rage to disgusted disbelief.
"Dead?! No! Of course not! Do you think heaven is a Japanese animation? Get a grip!"
Confused? Don't worry… So was I.
"Huh?" Her annoyed face contorted into a dramatic sigh.
"Geez, you've only been here five seconds and you're already starting to talk like them."
I lay there, in my confused state, looking up into the woman's eyes. She groaned at me, grabbing my arm.
I said I wasn't prepared to see I was IN a cartoon. But I was NO WAY prepared to see that I WAS a cartoon.
What's with the face? Ooooh, right… Not cartoon; anime. Gomen gomen! ^_^;
"See for yourself human. You're not in Kansas anymore." Stumbling I was flung in front of a mirror, I looked myself up and down. There before me was a very pretty girl. A sweet big green eyed face, with long, waist length, navy tresses. My eyes go wide at the sight before me, and not only my appearance, but my clothes! Scanning down I see myself clad in black. Black leggings with black slip-on shoes. Looking up in the mirror again, I see a deep purple, polo-neck sweater.
"Now do you see my dear? You might not be dead. But you certainly are a sight."
I certainly was. I mean I looked like Hilde with long hair!
I touched my face, sliding down my skin. It felt like it normally would. I looked back in the mirror. But it was so different. I felt light-headed again, my knee's went weak. Just before I hit the ground the last words I heard were…
"Oh for Pete's sake!"
Now I know what you're thinking. Probably along the lines of… OMG! She's Hilde! She's going to have her wicked way with Duo! Man, I wish that were true.
The water that had woken me from my daze also froze my brain. The aching in my head refused to subside. It only grew as I opened my eyes.
"Will you stop doing that? I have the right mind to just forget you and put you back in your miserable life."
For a split second, I didn't remember, but when I heard that voice. It all came back.
"I look like Hilde's evil twin..."
"Aha! So you can talk! Don't you like what I did? You look much better this way." The crystal clear voice of the woman hurt my ears, I winced as I looked down, gesturing towards myself.
"I look nothing like this!"
"Oh yeah… Well, you didn't want to see the animated version of your true self." The woman waved her hand frivolously. "It wasn't pretty."
"Thanks."
"You're welcome."
I knew it was true. I can just imagine an anime me.
I looked around again, disbelief settling back in.
"Where the hell am I? This has to be some sort of dream."
"No dream. Well, dream in one sense of the word." The woman smiled, bringing her face level with mine.
"See, I am from a group that has been travelling the Earth many years. We find people worthy of 5 wishes, to do as they see fit." Smiling defiantly, she strolled over to the other side of the room and spread herself across a nearby couch.
"By worthy you mean…?"
"Pathetic. Sad little people in need of a little "help" with their lives."
I stood up angrily. "I am NOT pathetic." At that, she stood herself up and dramatically flung an arm over her eyes.
"Oh no! Cigarette smoke! My life is over!" I narrowed my eyes at her display.
"Not only that, but out of all the really niiiice looking guys that inhabit this unruly little world, you're only interested in this guy."
Before I could open my mouth to defend myself, she had snapped her fingers, and you'll never guess who was standing in front of me…
Well, actually. I bet you can guess.
"Duo?" My eyes go wide as he stood there, his eyes closed.
"He can't hear you dear. But like I said, you have 4 wishes." My head snaps up to hers.
"You said 5."
"You've already had one."
"NO I HAVEN'T!"
"YES YOU HAVE!"
"NO I HAVEN'T!"
"YES YOU HAVE!"
"NO I HAV-" Realizing the stupidity of the conversation I stopped; sighing.
"Okay, when did I have this wish?"
"Right before you were gonna get squished by that van." The woman smiled evilly at me, watching my face as it dawned on me.
"I wished I was anywhere but here." Thinking a bit more, I became angry.
"THIS IS WHAT YOU INTERPRETED AS ANYWHERE!?"
"Hey, you always think about this… You're always silently wishing to go into the Gundam world, well here you are." I sit down on the couch holding my head.
"Hey you DO have 4 wishes… You could always wish to go back."
She was right of course. I could just wish to go back. But that would be a waste of one wish. I mean, there I was, an anime character and I was in the Gundam Wing world. Who the hell was I kidding? I wanted to see Heero, Duo, Quatre and Trowa! Oh ok, even Wufei. I wanted to shake Relena's hand, I wanted to see if Zechs was as tall as he looked! No-way was I going anywhere!
Boy was THAT a mistake.
"No, I'll stay."
"Huh?"
"Yeah, I'll stay. It could be interesting. I could go meet this guy!" I leaned on Duo's shoulder. He remained like a statue.
The woman narrowed her eyes at me, probably wondering at what point did I loose my marbles.
"Fine, they're your wishes. Do as you will."
After a silence, I opened my mouth to ask her name…
"My name is Ariellabella Koloveski Siobhanza Theoden... The Third."
No really... I'm not making it up. And no, I'm not going to write a pronunciation guide.
"Umm... Can I just call you Arrie?"
"Arrie? Are you kidding? I'm not that annoying kid from those Wizard books. You may call me Arielle."
"Sure thing Arielle. That's a pretty name by the way..."
"Yeah, when its not yours. Just make your wishes already."
"So I just say, I wish… blah blah blah?"
"As simple as that."
I took in a breath, removing myself…
Reluctantly…
…from Duo.
"All right." Arielle stood, anticipating my wish.
"I wish, that I was Hilde for one night."
"Night?" her sarcastic tone, told me what she thought I had in mind.
"Noooo! I don't mean like that!"
"Too late human, your wish is my command…" She smiled sardonically. Lifting her hand, it started to glow.
"No wait!"
Bam.
Boy was I going to regret this.
I opened my eyes. I felt groggy, like I was really tired. I shouldn't be awake really. I remembered the party. I remembered leaving…
All the while, I am thinking I turn my head around the room…
I was crossing the street… I blacked out and then…
The room was unfamiliar, and at the time, I just assumed I was dreaming, until I saw who I lying next to.
"AH!" I screamed, falling off the bed, taking the quilt with me. I hit my head hard.
"Ouuuuch!"
I rubbed the back of my head with my eyes closed, not realizing that the sleeping figure wasn't asleep anymore.
"Hilde? Are you alright?" I panicked remembering the wish, I stared down at my body.
"Phew." I was dressed, no funny business. I heard the light thump as Duo's feet touched the ground. Oh my God, Oh my God…
"Hilde, babe… What are you doing down there?" I open my eyes to see Duo towering over me. Clothed.
Ya know, at the time I was relieved beyond words. Now that I think back… It would have been an interesting sight.
"Uhh, nothing… I uhh, had a bad dream, yes! And I umm…"
"Fell out of bed ripped the blankets off waking me up?" Duo offered.
"Uh yeah. Something like that." Duo held out his hand to me. I still couldn't believe what was happening… It was beyond weird.
Standing up I brushed back my short dark hair.
Well, technically it was Hilde's short dark hair.
Then I saw her. Arielle. She waved at me.
Without thinking I waved back.
"Hilde?" I look back at Duo who is staring at me wide eyed.
"Hmm?"
"Who are you waving at?"
Suffice it to say… Duo couldn't see Arielle. No-one could. It was my special privilege.
"Uhh, no one. I umm…" trying to take his attention from me, I abruptly changed the subject.
"Say! Now we're awake how about some tea?"
"Tea?"
"Uhh, I mean coffee! Coffee…" Duo smirked at me, I started to go weak at the knees.
"I can think of something else I'd much rather do now we're awake." Duo wiggled his eyebrows at me. I nearly fainted again.
I was in a panic. Duo was getting amorous… I figured this is where the wish kicked in. What was weird, was that it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't screamed. Talk about irony.
Duo moved to place his arms around my waist.
"Oh boy… Umm, I'm not really in the mood tonight… umm, darling. Can I take a rain check?" Duo stepped back grinning.
"Darling? I thought you hated pet names?"
How the hell was I supposed to know THAT?
"Yeah of course! Umm, I'm just tired. Fatigue can do weird things to your mind." I smile, laughing a little. He soooo wasn't buying it.
"Come on, I can make you feel alllll better." Before I could respond he had scooped me up into his arms, dropping me on the bed.
He toothily grinned, as he jumped down and straddled me. Suddenly, I felt 'SOMETHING'.
Use your imaginations.
"Oh Jesus!" A sudden burst of energy surged to my arms as I flung him off me, and I scrambled up off the bed.
"Sorry, I have something to do… uhh, right now. I'll… I'll be right back." I grabbed some clothes from a nearby chair and rush out of the room.
"But they're…." Duo was cut off by my slamming the door as I headed out of the room in a panic.
Frustrated Duo settled back to the bed. "But they're my clothes."
I know that any normal Duo-Lover would have taken advantage of the situation. How cool would it be to 'do the wild thing' with Duo? Well, as a matter of fact, when you suddenly turn into an anime character and Duo is trying to get in your pants, you suddenly enter a new frame of mind…
I stumble outside of the small house, as I try to walk and pull on some very baggy pants. Great. It just so happens that I picked up Mr. Horny's clothes. Pulling the belt as tight as possible I look down at myself.
"I look like Trowa."
"It's a good look for you." Spinning around, I saw that mocking face, to match the mocking tone.
"You!" I storm up to her with a stern finger.
"That's NOT what I wished for!"
"Really? I thought you wanted Duo in your bed." I sighed in frustration.
"All girls fantasize about unattainable men, but that's why they do it… They're UNATTAINABLE!"
Well, that's not entirely true... or is it?
"Ooo, look at you… Freud speaks? I don't think so." Annoyed I look back up at her.
"Fine, I have 3 wishes left. I wish that I had Deathscythe… no wait, I wish that I had Wing Zero Custom… no wait again." I started to think.
See, I wanted Deathscythe, because Deathscythe is just so damn lovely. But Wing Zero had wings and I wanted to go somewhere fast. Oh don't worry, you'll soon see where I wanted to go. But I wanted Deathscythe again because where I was going, Heero was going to need his Gundam. I know you're confused… don't worry, all will be revealed. ^_^
"Will you just make up your damn mind! Which is it?" I looked up boldly.
"Epyon."
"What!?"
"Epyon." I repeated.
"Isn't that thing dangerous!?" Arielle looked at me, I didn't respond.
"Ok, if you say so…"
I stood there, while she looked on grinning.
"Well…"
"Say the words first… you cant trick me into giving it to you as a freebie."
"Sheesh fine. I wish I had the Epyon…" She raised her hand high…
"AND… I wish I had the expertise equal to Zechs Marquise." I crossed my arms over my chest.
You see, I was feeling rather smug at the time.
"That's two wishes ya know. You'll only have one left."
"I know."
"All right then."
A big flash of light blinded me at first, the mighty thud as the Epyon appeared in front of me was fearsome. Suddenly the light stopped and there it was.
"Whoa." I choked out.
The thing was huge! I was about as tall as its big toe! All right, so it hasn't got a big toe, but you get the idea…
But then I felt strange. Suddenly I wasn't scared anymore.
Without pressing any buttons or flicking any switches the Epyon's Boarding Cable hummed down to my level, I placed my foot in the small hole at the bottom and it retracted again.
I didn't realize it at the time, but I was using my mind to control this thing. Am I stupid or what, right? I totally forgot the Epyon had the zero-system in it.
As I approached the top, the hatch opened and I settled in.
"Now, on behalf of Relena Peacecraft, I will kick your ass Heero!" My laughing was muted by the Epyon's closing hatch.
Don't look at me like that. He put her though a lot of crap! He needs a good smack in the mouth.
I wasn't intending to kill him or anything; just make him look like a total fool.
Without even knowing what I was doing, I was just doing it, I pressed buttons left right and centre. The engines fired up.
"Yes, Heero you better get your Gundam out… coz I wanna play!"
Before you ask, yes, the zero system warped my fragile little mind.
It took hours of stealthy moving around, but I managed to get off of L2. I pulled up maps of the area. I had no idea of which direction Earth was in.
"Where are you Heero…" My voice became hushed and snake like. "Where are you…"
I really, really wish I had chosen the Deathscythe now.
After travelling for a good few hours, Earth came into view.
"If only this wasn't animated. The Earth would have looked really pretty…"
Sending the engines into overdrive I rushed down to the surface. The maps beeped as I gradually approached…
Oh you know where I'm going.
…The Sanc Kingdom.
It was nearly daytime, which was good. Not only would I be out of Hilde's body but I would be able to find him easier.
I waited…
"I'm gonna get you…"
…and waited…
"I'm gonna kick your ass so bad you're gonna wish you were never born!"
…and waited…
"Relena deserves better than you!"
..until finally…
Through my hazy thoughts of wanting to kill Heero, not really knowing why. My body suddenly changed as Hilde's features faded from my frame. I felt myself get taller, and arms longer.
Not a pleasant experience, believe me.
I was me again, and daytime had come.
I really wasn't that pissed off with Heero originally. Ok, so he treats Relena bad, and it kinda annoys not only Relena fans, but 1xR fans too. I just wanted to beat him in his Gundam; show off a bit. Tell him to stop acting like a silly idiot and profess his TRUE feelings!
Ok, so maybe beating him in his Gundam is more to do with me wanting to show off, but I figured he's listen to someone superior to himself. But I didn't think about the odd effects of the zero system and, well… my desire to kick his skinny little butt kinda multiplied.
"THERE YOU ARE!" I locked onto him, as he strolled along a path in the Peacecraft mansion's gardens.
I saw him stop and look directly at me. He dived out of the way as the Epyon hit the ground just inches away in a thundering boom.
"I want to fight you Heero! In the name of Relena Peacecraft! You treated her bad and now you are gonna PAY!" Heero looked up at me unfazed. Which annoyed me.
You know when you start shouting at a little brother/sister, thinking they'll do what you say and they sarcastically look at you and say "Make me." That fiery anger than makes you feel like roaring like a lion and ripping their head off and shoving it down their own throat?
No?
Oh well... just me then.
"Well don't just stand there! Get your damn Gundam!" Heero continued to stare.
"You don't wanna piss me off right now!"
Suddenly there was a beeping on my monitor, something was approaching… fast.
Yup, wings and all… Here comes Wing Zero.
The monster Gundam landed a short distance away. Heero walked over and boarded the intimidating machine.
Not that I was intimidated.
What?
I wasn't.
"Fight me Heero! I will put you in your place!" At that, I initiated the fight by pulling out my beam sabre.
I would have used that nifty whip thingy, damn I can't remember its name right now, but I had Zechs' expertise remember. I was using his tactics.
Our sabre's met in a sparking flash. I managed to push him back with the Epyon's towering strength, and lunge at him with the energy beam. But Heero wasn't stupid…
I acknowledge that; despite my feelings towards him at the time.
…he dodged the incoming lunge with precision.
"You're good! BUT…" I whipped out the heat-rod…
Ah yes, now I remember… HEAT-ROD.
…and wrapped it around his leg. "I'M BETTER!"
I yanked on the ferocious grip I had on Wing Zero's leg, forcing it over onto it's back. Tree's were flattened in its turbulent wake.
"AHA! I have defeated you!" I thrust the beam sabre into the Wing Zero's face. I had done what I had come to achieve. Smugly I lowered my weapon… but a bright yellow light surrounded me.
Uh oh…
"What the hell!?" I suddenly feel really strange… There was thoughts flowing through my mind that were not my own.
Enemies?
Ah… I remember… when Heero was in the original Wing Zero, he couldn't decide who his enemies are. So, who are MY enemies?
"Who are my enemies!" Suddenly I heard Heero's voice over the comm. System
"I don't know who your enemies are. But you made another one today."
Don't you just love it when Heero talks all macho like that?
Well, when you're on the receiving end of it, its not so great.
"Wha? So… you're my enemy?"
No reply.
"TELL ME DAMNIT!"
Silence.
"FINE. Don't tell me." I sit there thinking in the Gundam.
"If you aren't my enemy, then… I guess I don't have any." At that thought the Epyon powered down. The beam sabre shrunk into nothing and the heat-rod shutdown.
The green gleam in the Epyon's eyes disappeared.
At this point, I was feeling quite relieved. I didn't have any enemies.
Now who can say that with a straight face!
Well, as it happens, apparently not me.
Seeing my Gundam die down. Heero took the opportunity to seize control of the situation. Standing Wing Zero up, Heero lashed out knocking the now powerless beam sabre from the Epyon's hand.
"HEY! What the hell are you doing!? I said you're not my enemy!"
"Yes you did…" Heero lifted one of the twin buster rifles to the aim at the Epyon's arm.
"But I didn't say you weren't mine." At that, Heero fired…
Was I crapping myself? Yes, yes I was crapping myself… THIS WAS HEERO YUY AIMING A FRIGGING BUSTER RIFLE AT ME!
The Epyon's arm melted away in the golden shafts of energy, streaming from the rifle.
I start frantically hitting buttons, trying to make the Epyon move.
"MOVE YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SH-"
"In a sticky situation aren't we?"
Yes, it was the return of everyone's favourite anime genie.
"YOU! You knew that this would happen!"
"Moi!? This is your fault missy!"
Actually, yeah. Looking back… it was kinda my fault.
"You're the idiot that thought you could handle the effects of the zero system. I thought using this thing was like a perfect soldiers only club? But you… Oh you come along all high and mighty thinking you got the goods… well, what a surprise."
"YES! But I asked you for the expertise of a perfect soldier!" Arielle grinned wickedly.
"Uh huh… and that's what I gave you. But the zero system affects the mind."
Realization hit me like a slap in the face…
"You didn't ask for Zechs' mind… Did you?"
Geez, me with Zechs' mind? That would have been fun.
"DAMNIT!"
"Yes, Damnit indeed… so… carry on. I didn't mean to interrupt."
Arielle promptly disappeared at this point. Leaving me alone with one slightly annoyed Mr Yuy.
"Hey wait!" Heero raised the other buster rifle and aimed at the other arm.
"Holy moly!" I start whacking buttons again…
"EPYON! COME ON! I LIED! REALLY I LIED… HIM! HEERO IS MY ENEMY!"
Another realization dawned on me. That when Heero was finished with the arms… he might start shooting off other body parts…
Nooo, you dirty minded people. Anyway, Gundams don't have those.
"Heero! Come on! Lets be friends! Lets talk this-ouuuaaahhh!" Heero fired, and Epyon lost another arm, and a chunk out of the side of the cockpit.
"HEY WATCH WHERE YOU'RE SHOOTING! That was close!"
"I'm going to get a lot closer soon." Heero icily replied.
I bet you're thinking… Why didn't you just get out of the Gundam? Well, knowing Heero, he could have picked me off with a squirt gun if I was exposed.
"Oh God help me."
Divine intervention was unlikely… But it didn't stop me from trying…
"You could wish again… that would get you out of this… would it not?" Arielle appeared again nonchalantly flipping the pages of "Omnipotence Weekly".
"Huh? Oh its you again… go away! You're nothing but trouble!"
"Maybe so… but you can't deny that this was YOUR foul up."
I hate it when other people are right…
"Sooo… ya gonna wish?"
"I only have one left."
"Well then its pretty obvious what you gotta do with it."
"But I… I still have two things I want to do."
Don't think me greedy… You will understand COMPLETELY when you see WHAT it is I want!
"TWO!? You want me to give you two!?" I nod sheepishly in reply.
"Ok then." I look up stunned.
"What?"
"I said ok then…" I just stare in disbelief.
It was becoming a common facial expression for me.
"Well, the first wish I granted you. So ok, it might have saved your insignificant little life, but I suppose it doesn't count."
"REALLY!?"
Sighing, Arielle answered. "Yes, really…"
"THANK YOU!"
"So… what the hell do you want so I can get outer here?"
I grinned.
"Well, I want Heero and Relena to be together. AND… they have to make my fave fanfic into the next Gundam Wing film."
Man you should have seen me. I was grinning like an idiot. I could have taken ANY fanfic I wanted and made it into the next film… Can you imagine?! I could have had The Black Rose's epic "Traitor to the Cause" or holy macaroni! My own story "De Profundis"
Heh heh… shameless self advertising at work there…
"What?" Arielle sounded annoyed at me.
Which made me kinda nervous.
"What's the matter with that wish? I mean, of course my other wish will be to go home to my bed… obviously with a copy of Gundam Wing: Traitor to the Cause! Or Gundam Wing: De Profundis… Damn this is the best wish ever!"
Arielle seemed to be teeming with anger.
"You want to wish happiness on that psychopath over there trying to KILL YOU!?"
Arielle pointed brazenly at Heero's frozen Gundam, obviously about to blow me into smithereens.
I shrugged nonchalantly.
"He had his reasons. He's trying to protect Relena." I sighed dreamily.
Arielle waved her hand in my face, then harshly slapped it.
"Ow! What the hell was that for!?"
"You moronic human! Isn't there anything you want for yourself?… If you go back now, all you will have is the ability to pilot a Gundam… and well…" Arielle's sarcastic tone melted into a mindless anger.
"…THAT'S IT!"
"Yeah well, just seeing the reactions by the yaoi community to Gundam Wing: 1xR RULeZ will be enough for me." I start laughing insanely.
Like most 1xR fans, I get flamed and criticized because I'm not a fan of yaoi. Well, this would be a fitting payback don't you think?
"Yaoi?"
I shake my head viscously..
"You don't want to know… come on, you have to do what I say! …and I wish for this!"
Saying that was the BIGGEST mistake I had made through my entire wish-making ordeal.
"I what? Did you just say I have to do what YOU say?" Arielle began laughing manically… "I'll show you what I do to people who talk down to ME!"
Oooh yeah… biggest mistake if I ever made one.
All of a sudden, I wasn't inside the Epyon anymore. A bright light engulfed me, and I was floating… Not really sure of where I was going.
"Do you want to see something funny? Ya know, I just remembered what that yaoi thing is."
"Oh no…"
She wanted to punish me… and boy did she punish me.
The light faded and I was in a dimly lit room. It was totally bare, now that I had looked around, there wasn't even a door.
"No-one tells me what to do little girl. Least of all, a puny little human like you."
"What are you gonna do?" That evil smirk that spread across her features didn't stir up any confidence in me.
"Take a goood loooong looook."
Surprisingly everything went quiet… and Arielle disappeared.
But someone else popped up in her place.
"Heero?"
"Where is he!?" Heero almost screeched.
"He?"
"Duo! Where is he!?"
Close your eyes now… run while you still can!
"Wh.. why do you want to know where Duo is?" Heero looked at me coldly… after a few seconds, he unexpectedly broke down into tears.
Heero in tears… You'd never believe it until you saw it.
"I… I wanted to…"
"HEERO!" Duo, who had seemingly appeared from no-where, came running over to us…
"I just heard you killed Relena?!"
I look at Heero devastated. "HEERO! YOU DIDN'T!?"
"I did it for us Duo… now we can be together forever!"
"Oh, Heero!"
"Oh, Duo!" Totally ignoring me… the two flung themselves into each others arms.
"Heero!? You killed Relena!? WHY!?" Ignoring me, they continued their teary embrace.
"Oh Duo, I couldn't stand it anymore… she was all over me, I wanted to kill her, I just had to.. SCREW PEACE! If we're together NOTHING ELSE MATTERS!"
"Heero! I thought you didn't love me!"
At that point I didn't care what happened… All I could think was that, if someone could just PLEASE remove me from this room and erase my short-term memory, I would be fine… Just fine.
"ARIELLE!"
"Duo, I've loved you since the day I saw you… I felt that bullet go through me and I knew it was love!"
"Bullets!"
"Exactly!"
"ARIELLEE!"
"Heero! KISS ME!"
"Oh Duo! My Pleasure!"
"ARIELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEE EEEE!"
I my voice abruptly stopped and I was no longer in the room.
Someone upstairs likes me.
I looked around, my eyes blurred and unfocussed.
"That'll teach you, you little brat." I blinked clearing my vision. Sure enough, there was Arielle.
"Ok, I'm sorry! But did you have to go that far? Sheesh.. Alright I bossed you around a tad… there was no need to realize one of my nightmares!"
"Yes well… that's why I stopped it at the part where you'd probably start crying."
I would ya know… I'd cry my little soul out.
"Thanks." I stated sarcastically.
"So, you want me to wish Heero and Relena together, married with a million rugrats?"
"Noooo… I wanna keep them in character."
"Well, then shoot… tell me what you want and then it shall be done."
"Really?" I smiled happily at Arielle, she was finally being nice to me.
"Then I can get as freaking far away from you as possible."
I had this sudden and really strong urge to fall on the floor.
I got the feeling she didn't like me very much.
"Well I'd love to make "Traitor to the Cause" a reality. I mean its got everything, depth, romance, intrigue… But…"
"But what?"
"But.. I dunno… I think I am gonna have to go with "Missing By a Mile."
Both of these are 2 of the best fics I have EVER read. …and both by the same author… You should really read them, that is; if you haven't already. If you haven't already, then you can't call yourself a TRUE 1xR fan. FACT.
"Alright, alright… enough with the kissing of ass. I will make it a reality and you will have the first copy."
"On DVD…"
DVD's are a great invention.
"FINE… on DVD…" Arielle raised her hand to the air.
"With loads of extras…" Arielle stopped, and looked down at me.
"Extras? LIKE WHAT?"
"Outtakes.. ya know like those ones on Toy Story 2 and a Bug's Life… oh that'd be sweet."
"Whatever… outtakes it is." She raised her hand again.
"AND, audio commentaries…"
"Will you just shut up and let me grant you the damn wish!?" I smile ruefully, begging with my eyes…
I'm great at that… ^_~
"Ok ok… you got your stupid commentaries…"
"Thank you."
"Your welcome."
"Its by the American voice actors right? Acting like they are the Gundam pilots? That'd be the greatest commentary EVER!"
"Christ! I said you had your damn commentaries and you have them… now just get lost!"
There was a bright flash of light as the van swerved out of the way. I fell to the ground covering my head. All I remember after that, was the hospital and my family around me. My friends from the party that night all smiling at me, hugging me when they discovered I was ok. My mother chastising me, while smiling brightly about going home alone. She was glad I was ok more than anything. I suppose I was too. For some reason, the events that had taken place seemed like a dream, and it faded from my memory. Arielle said that the 5 wishes were for people who needed help in the lives. I suppose it took something as jarring as this, to shake my life up.
Don't worry, I didn't forget everything. When I got home that night my brother helped me into my room, where he pulled out an odd looking DVD. Yeah, you know what it is. ^_^
"Want me to put this on for you?" My brother waved the DVD up, while I made my way into bed.
"Its 3am, why would I want to watch something at this time of-" I looked up at what he was holding. It was a DVD, it was a Gundam Wing DVD… The memories flooded me, as I saw the title on the box. Gundam Wing: Missing By A Mile.
"This is the new one you bought the other day isn't it?" My brother innocently opened the box as I leapt up and grabbed it. Sudden strength filling my veins.
I couldn't believe it at first, the moany old hag actually kept her promise.
"Yes! This is the new one! Where Heero and Relena finally get together! It's great this one, I have already read the script… Well, most of it."
My brother looked at me totally bewildered.
"Ah get out of the way, I gotta put it in!"
Needless to say, it was better than Endless Waltz. ^_~
Extras! Extras! I watched the cool outtake's one where Relena screws up her lines and just shouts "Ah forget it!" and grabs Heero and kisses him! One where Duo is running away from a VERY angry Heero as he shouts omae o korosu… the ENGLISH Heero, shouting omae o korosu, is a FUNNY sight…
The last clip that came on, seemed oddly familiar… I saw a girl.. a girl with long navy hair and big green eyes walking around a dark room with no doors. Suddenly Heero appears.
"Heero?"
"Where is he!?"
"He?"
"Duo! Where is he!?"
"Wh.. why do you want to know where Duo is?"
"I… I wanted to…"
"HEERO! I just heard you killed Relena!"
"HEERO! YOU DIDN'T!?"
"I did it for us Duo… now we can be together forever!"
"Oh, Heero!"
"Oh, Duo!"
"Heero!? You killed Relena!? WHY!?"
"Oh Duo, I couldn't stand it anymore… she was all over me, I wanted to kill her, I just had to.. SCREW PEACE! If we're together NOTHING ELSE MATTERS!"
"Heero! I thought you didn't love me!"
"Duo, I've loved you since the day I saw you… I felt that bullet go through me and I knew it was love!"
"Bullets.."
"Exactly!"
Watching the ridiculous repartee… I suddenly remembered where I had seen this before….
"ARRRRRRIIIIELLLLLLLEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEE!"
Ah looking back now I suppose it was all in good fun. Even though I never saw Arielle again, I knew she was watching me when I watched that part.
I could have sworn I heard a faint laughing…
Anyway, I suppose the moral of the story is this children. You always want different things in your life, you always want things you can't have. But maybe that's why you want them. I'll refer you back to the ingenious title of this story and spread its wisdom among you once again.
Careful what you wish for…
… you just might get it.
AN: Weird right? Remember this was based on events that were in one of my dreams, it was too damn weird, and funny, not to write down quickly before I forgot it!
I know this kinda sounds like I am ANTI-YAOI, but I am not; honest. So here's my stance with yaoi:
I am not anti-yaoi, loving relationships between consenting males *thumbs up* All fine by me! But I simply do not believe the characters being gay was the intention of the writers of Gundam Wing, and so do not prescribe to any yaoi fantasies about the GW characters. That's it. I'm not a homophobe - I just used yaoi as a point for humor in this story; more to poke fun at yaoi fans than yaoi itself. I'm sorry if I offended anyone!
I wanna dedicate this story to all the great authors who have probably thought once or twice how cool it would be if their stories were made into a real anime… I know I have thought about it! The Black Rose's fics were some of the first ones I ever read, and I thought it would be funny for her to get a little mention! ^_^
Thanks for reading!