Belief

by Aillissa di Arcanum

What if Arya had the bad luck of the century to reject Eragon just when some people come along with some not too gentle words, but soon realized she actually loves him and asked for another chance? Would Eragon give it? SEE COMPLETE SUMMARY INSIDE

Disclaimer: I do not own Eragon. He, Arya and the others belong to C. Paolini.

This is an AU fic. Some things based on the movie, others on the books, but 99 came from my mind. What if Arya had the bad luck of the century to reject Eragon just when some people come along (in public) with some not too gentle words, but soon realized she actually loves him and asked for another chance? Would Eragon give it? Here is the answer to what My Eragon would say, not the one C Paoline created. This fic start when Arya manages to get him alone, in the middle of the forest and skip the beginning to get to the part everybody wants to get

-- Eragon, can you give me another chance? Arya asked in tears.

He stared at her shocked for some moments, but them, a cold and indifferent mask fell into place and he simply gazed at her, before sitting down on the closest tree root, motioning for her to do the same. When she did, he asked while staring somewhere around his feet:

-- Have I ever told me about my past, Arya? she started at the abruptness of the question, but shook her head apreensively. No, he hadn't. He smiled condescendingly, even if his tone of voice when he spoke was low, informative and impersonal I never knew my parents. My mother left me with my uncle and disappeared, never to return. The only thing I have of her is her name and nothing else. Of my father I don't have even that. For all I know, he could not know of my existence. I don't know if they were married, cared for each other or … "knew" each other. I don't actually care either. If I could meet them, I have no idea how I would react…

Since I was old enough to remember, my uncle and Brom have been my father figures. I looked up to both of them and they helped, protected, molded me into the person I am today. They might even have loved me. Who knows? I was raised as a farm boy, by my uncle, and as a hunter, by Brom. Both taught me many things… some of them opposites, in others they agreed. My uncle would teach me to be open and sincere, loving, caring and to always follow my heart. Brom would teach me to sharpen my mind and follow it, always, to shroud my emotions and keep safe.

"Always do what is right over what is easy",

"Duty first. Always do first what you have to do, then what you want to do",

"Keep your feet on the ground, Eragon. It's not safe to duel on dreams",

"Respect only those who deserve it, no matter if everybody else respects them" they repeated when I was daydreaming or doing something foolish. My uncle was a romantic… he would tell me fairytales when I was a child; tales of princesses, princes, dragons, magicians, warriors, fantastical beings… happy ending histories. Moreover, Brom, as anyone who've met or heard of him knows, was a man hardened by life… he'd tell me about the riders, their dragons, evil tyrants, histories full of honor, pain, sadness, braveness, treason and suffering; none of them ever fairytales, but all of them fantastic. he started and stopped for a moment, lost in thought. He had, Arya noticed, a wishful expression on his now elf like features They were my best friends, you know? Garrow and Brom, but they hated each other and were always fighting… something related to me, I'm sure. They'd always stopped screaming at each other when they noticed me around. Garrow wanted to tell me something Brom thought I was too young to understand, or too innocent to accept, but I still remember when I heard my uncle scream that HE deserved to know he said, decreasing his voice to almost a whisper, as if he'd noticed he'd been rambling.

To me, everything they said was truth and could happen, no matter how absurd… with the way I've been raised, I believed in anything,… that if you really wanted something to happen, you could make it happen. I believed, Arya, simple as that. When I was six, I believed in fairytales, in the fantastic… but most of all, I believed I'd live one one day. That I, the farm boy of a small village out of nowhere, would be someone important, someone people would love and respect; that I'd be happy, rich, famous, but specially, I believed I'd find a woman I'd love and respect and she'd do the same in return, she'd be wise, powerful, noble and beautiful beyond compare. I always believed in that as I believed I'd share those things with Garrow and Brom. I believed things could only be black and white, no shades of gray; Razacs were evil, as were urgals and some other creatures, dwarves didn't care, riders and dragons were good, as were the elves… and I was happy thinking like that. Ignorance was blissful. he commented full of dry amusement. Too much time with Murtagh, apparently. She said nothing, still not understanding where he was trying to get.

When Saphira hatched for me, a little over a year ago, I beamed. I was truly happy. I was good, everything was nice, … until the Razac attacked the village after us and killed Garrow, quite messily, if you permit me to add. The villagers banished me, after all, I was bringing them to the Empire attention, understandably, on their eyes, I was evil. So, I left with Brom, that insisted in not leaving me alone, since Saphira was too young and couldn't fly yet, carrying me at least. On the beginning of our journey I discovered who he really was and why he knew so much about riders and dragons. I saw he cast a spell, the way his right hand was always covered and the sword he never used, but never left behind… he told me the truth before I even formulate the first question, when he noticed I was watching. He told me the sword belonged to a corrupted man, a man that had been a wonderful person, but become an abusive, power hungry, murderous person,… he said the sword belonged to a foresworn and them he spoke for the first time about the evil that permeated the riders, from within, but more than anything, he told me about Morzan, the first and last of the foresworn, and the most dangerous among them, according to him. He spoke about once being a rider, until Morzan killed his dragon, his Saphira. He confessed he became obsessed for revenge and that in the end he killed Aderes, Morzan's red dragon and then, the man himself and took the sword Za'roc from the dieing body of the one who had once been his best friend. And I was left with one of my certainties in life squashed… Riders were not good, noble or brave, they were just like anybody else, but I still loved Brom and to me he could do no wrong, so I justified his actions to me. I still believed… my fairytale had just started on the wrong corner… his voice started to get a little strained, an indecipherable emotion coating all words spoken.

Then, the Razac ambushed us and mortally wounded my best friend, my father figure. We ended up saved by Murtagh that appeared on the right moment and tended to the two of us, to the best of his abilities considering he had no magic, but Brom died two days later. The last thing he did was give me Za'roc, but when he was dieing, he seemed to notice the new addition to our group, stare in curiosity and then, shock passed through his features and he said something I didn't understand but got a nod from my new companion, and Brom was no more. Murtagh seemed really nervous, especially after he saw Za'roc. The proximity of this sword always made him uncomfortable and out of his dept. When I asked why he looked so nervous he said that he didn't know how to react when a person dear to someone died, not directly, but that was the gist of it. He said he only cared for three people and none of them had died, even if they had many enemies and one of them was in constant danger. Besides them, he cared for no one. I thought it was a cold hearted way of thinking and said so. He rebuked "Why should I care if they don't care for me? One of the things I learned in life was: the less you have, the less can be taken from you. As they say: The worst enemy is the one that has nothing to loose". As you can imagine, that logic was so against my beliefs I was shocked into silence.

I told him I was going to Gil'raed and he offered to help me there and we went on. You see, Arya, I was searching for you. I was captured and Murtagh invaded one of the best-guarded prisons in Alegaesia to rescue me, and than you, since I refused to leave without you. We were saved from the king's minions because a person that didn't care decided out of nowhere to do so, but you're fine and I was happy for that, for somewhere along my dreams about you, I fell in love with you, Arya, and even without knowing you, I knew you'd be the princess of my fairytales. You were the one, Arya. You'll always be the one in them. he affirmed with unshakeable surety, enough that shocked her and made her want to cry again.

When we're approaching the Varden, I discovered one of the things he was hiding from me. He didn't want o go there, he wanted to guide me there and keep going, but I tricked him into entering the valley and he got locked between the Varden and the king's urgals, so, without any other choice he spilled it:

"You know Brom recognized me, right?" and I agreed and he blurted while watching everything that moved in an almost desperate way:

"That's because… I'm Murtagh Morzanson, son of the first and last of the foresworn".

You wouldn't believe how shocked I was. You see… we spurred our mounts in silence, into the middle of the valley. Murtagh being the son of Morzan broke another of my beliefs: nothing good can come from something evil, but he was good to me, even if he was infuriating at most times, with his paranoia and excessive pride, and after hour of a silence that now I know was freaking him out, I spoke the truth:

"I do not think any less of you for it, Murtagh. You cannot choose who your parents are."

And even if he tried very hard to hide it, I could see he was relieved and pleased with my answer. He was almost proud of me, but at the moment I was too worried about you to notice, what is obvious to me now. When we got to the Varden, they broke almost all of my beliefs in one go: dwarves did care, women could fight, the all might Varden were close minded, Saphira was capable of sheer hatred… by the end of that battle, the only certainties I had kept from before I arrived at the Varden were that Saphira loved me above everything else, I could trust Murtagh with my life, you're the one in my fairytales and elves were good. You see, Arya, when you rejected me last month, you broke the foundation of my beliefs and that's why, even thought you are the one for fairytale I envisioned as a child, I will not give you another chance. he stated as if the whole story explained everything, but it only confused her.

-- Because I confuse you? she half asked, half accused. He simply shook his head and calmly and politely corrected:

-- No, Arya. Because I do not believe anymore no emotion on his voice.

-- I do not understand… she confessed confusedly and he smiled sadly, before trying again.

-- Princess Arya Svit-Kona of the elves, you are the woman of my fairytales, but I cannot give you another chance, because it would be a lie, a false chance. The day you rejected me in public, you showed me the hard truth I was trying desperately to deny. Your highness, you are wise, powerful, noble and beautiful beyond compare. I'm not. Neither of those things. You deserve better than me or at least a more knowledgeable being. I'm not even an elf. I'm a farm boy that received the doubtful luck of becoming a Rider, if you could consider me so, considering I'm still in training. You are the princess of the fairytale I envisioned living all my short life and I should give you another chance, if I still believed. Arya Svit-Kona, princess of my so dreamed fairytales, if you had asked this of me that day, I'd have said yes, without batting an eye,… but you didn't. Now, one month later, one month wasted thinking later, I can't in good conscience give you the same answer. It'd be a lie and my uncle and Brom always told me never to lie, so I never did. I wish I could give you a new chance, my lady, I really do, with all my heart, but my mind wont let me. I do not believe in what I did one month ago.

-- How so? she asked in tears again and staring at her with the same sad look on his eyes he continued his explanation.

-- Do not cry, my lady, please. You did nothing wrong besides being distracted for a few seconds. Arya, look at me, please he half asked, half ordered and she was so stunned, she actually obeyed and looked him in the eye.

I do not want you to have any doubt in what I'm saying. I'm saying this now because I know I'd hurt you more if I lead you on. What you did hurted me deeply, but it was nothing compared to what I felt related to what you said. Your words broke the base of my beliefs, because what you said was something you took as truth at the time and when I paid attention to your words, I could do nothing but agree with them. he confessed.

You said I was a naïve child with a dragon, a sword and a crush. It was truth. I'm barely a sixteen years old… to you I am a child. I have almost no experience in life, trusted people with no reasoning at all to Murtagh's annoyance, I believed in them as I believed in fairytales, so I was naïve. I have nothing at all but the clothes on my body, Za'roc and Saphira and without her, I'm nothing but a naïve farm boy good with magic and a sword. Again, you were right. About the crush, Arya… here is the only place your assessment was mistaken... I didn't have a crush on you, I was in love with you, and with that sentence, you threw your chance away. I love you… You can do no wrong in my eyes and I will protect and help you to the best of my abilities, but I'm not in love with you anymore. Believe me Arya, for that is the truth. he stated simply.

One month ago, I was ruled by my heart, as my uncle wanted me to live. Today no, now, I'm ruled by my mind as Brom taught me. You also said and here I quote:

"You are forgetting your duties for stupid distractions".

I agree I was. I disregarded my duties in prol of my beliefs and dreams. I will try my best to focus, so this kind of lapse won't happen again. he assured her vehemently The reason why I changed is the same as to why I won't give you another chance, your highness. The reason is that I don't believe he stated, then he stood up, turned his back on her and walked away Farewell, princess of my dreams he said while distancing himself even more from her, until he entered in the woods and disappeared from sight, but his finishing words echoed by the forest and gave her an empty feeling for I don't believe in dreams or fairytales anymore.

A/N: Hey, people!! English is not my first language, so do not crucify me. I hope you liked it. Review, please. This is my first fic in English and I want to know how it went. No flames… if you have some problem with what is written or how it's written, give me advices to get better. Thank you.