"He left this morning." Adrian gave me a pained look as he clasped my hands in his, "they said that his grandmother was close to passing."
"Yeva," I breathed out. I closed my eyes, trying to breathe normally.
"Rose?" Adrian sounded unsure, "Are you okay?" I nodded quickly.
"He left to go see his grandmother, to take care of his family." I said it more to reassure myself more than Adrian, "He'll be back." Adrian nodded, but his sad eyes told me that he wasn't so sure.
"From what you've told me, his family is close, they'll need time to heal. What if, well what if he just decides to stay close to them from now on?" I shook my head, unwilling to accept that as an option.
"He'll come back for me Adrian," despite my will to keep my emotions in check, tears began to run down my cheeks, "He has to," I looked back at my desk, where Dimitri's note sat next to a box of pregnancy tests.
"Were you able to tell him, before he went?" Adrian looked down at my stomach, as if he could will himself to see the life that was starting to form inside me.
"Of course not, I just found out myself last night. I thought I had all the time in the world to get the courage to tell him."
"I'm sure he'll be back," Adrian assured me, closing the space between us to kiss my forehead. I sighed, relaxing slightly. Adrian always knew how to make me feel better. I looked back at the note, folded crisply on my desk, my nickname, "Roza," sprawled across the paper in Dimitri's beautiful handwriting. I could almost hear him whisper my name in my ear, like a Russian prayer. My heart began to hurt.
"I should be going." Adrian sighed, letting himself out of my room, a wicked smile playing at his lips, "You know," when he laughed, it sounded sad, "only a god like Belikov could manage to create such a miracle." And with that, Adrian was gone, shutting my door with a soft thud. I smiled to myself, looking down at my stomach. Adrian was right; it truly was a miracle.
9 months later
"How much longer do I have to be cooped up in here?" I let out a groan as Dr. Olendzki walked into the room, a slightly tired look worried her forehead as she brought me my dinner.
"I've been told to keep you for one more week. Just to make sure you're ready to head back into the world."
"I am so ready to back," sighing; I shoveled the slightly tasteless infirmary food into my mouth.
"Rose, after your surgery it's crucial that you don't strain your body until it's healthy." I nodded, hating that she had a point. Nine months had passed since Dimitri had left to return to Yvea in Baia, and since I found out I was pregnant. A slight hitch had made me, as well as my son, Alexander Ivan Hathaway infirmary-bound since I had given birth to him one week prior.
"When can I see him?" I asked her, shifting my gaze towards my half-eaten dinner, almost afraid of her answer.
"I can go get him for you now if you'd like?" Olendzki smiled, "his infection has cleared up quickly. The only reason he's still here is because you are." I nodded, excitement tugging at my heart. My baby was okay. In the short time it would take Olendski to retrieve Alexander, I finished my dinner, and pushed the tray away from me. My body ached and pinched and I noted that the pain medication that usually kept me from feeling the injuries I'd acquired during childbirth were starting to fade.
"Here's momma!" Dr. Olendzki opened the door, bouncing a bundled up infant in her arms. He had been crying, but as soon as the doctor put Alexander into Rose's arms, the baby went silent; comforted by his mother's warmth.
"He's so beautiful," Rose sighed, still shocked by the presence of her son. So tiny, and soft, the top of his head graced with a few silky tuffs of hair. Rose pressed her nose to his head, breathing in the sweet smell that only a baby possesses.
"He is," a new voice made Rose look up to find Kirova was watching her. Kirova's face was soft and almost adoring as she looked down upon Rose and her child; a look that Rose never thought possible for Kirova, especially when looking at Rose.
"I didn't expect you to be one of my visitors." Rose said with a small smile, "What brings you here?" Kirova looked down, almost embarrassed,
"I just wanted to see how you and the baby were," ringing her hands together, Kirova almost looked out of place,
"Would you like to hold him?" Rose asked, mostly out of courtesy.
"Would, would that be okay?" Kirova asked, eyes wide with shock,
"Of course," Rose laughed softly, carefully handing Alexander over to Kirova who cradled him like a treasure. The door opened, and Olendski was back with a syringe.
"It's time for your medication, Hathaway." Rose groaned,
"I'll pass out."
"Sleep is important, Rosemarie," Kirova said, her posture turned tight and teacher-like, "you won't get much of it after you're out of our care." Rose nodded, taking one last look at her child before the medication pulsed through her system and almost instantly made her drowsy. In her sleep, she was thrown back into another flash back from nine months ago…
"Rose, open the door!" Lissa pounded on the door to Rose's room. It had been two weeks since Dimitri had left, and Rose had kept herself locked up inside her room, with exception to classes, in which she kept to herself. "Rose, if you don't open this door I'll get someone who can!" she shouted again. Through the bond Lissa begged Rose to open the door, a feeling of exasperation and sadness hit her in waves, adding to Rose's discomfort of morning sickness. (This tended to actually be "morning, noon and night" sickness).
"You can't avoid me forever." Lissa cried, and begged with more force through the bond. Rose caved, lifting her body from her bed and over to the door. Once she had unlocked the door, Lissa came bursting in, before Rose could change her mind.
"What the hell is wrong with you!?" Lissa demanded, all sadness replaced with anger, Rose was half surprised Lissa hadn't slapped her yet.
"I'm sorry," Rose croaked, her voice giving away the endless nights of sobbing Rose had come accustomed to. Fear burst through the bond.
"What's happened?" Lissa asked, taking Rose's arms, her eyes frantic, "Rose you look like death."
"I feel like death," Rose laughed sadly, this was anything but funny.
"Rose," Lissa was terrified. Her rock, her best friend, her sister who had always been there and strong was crumbling before her, and there was nothing she could do about it.
"I'll be okay Liss," Rose was assuring herself more than Lissa.
"Rose!" Lissa begged, tears forming in her eyes. Rose began to tear up as well, the reality of everything crushing down on her to such a degree that breathing was almost impossible.
"Lissa," when her voice spoke it was only a whisper, "I don't think I'll be able to be your guardian." Sobs began to wrack Rose's body.
"What do you mean?" Lissa was beyond confused, "you're upset, you're not making sense."
"No, Lissa. I can't be your guardian." Lissa shook Rose violently,
"Stop Talking!" Lissa insisted, "You've always been my guardian! Promise mark or not! We've always been together, you can't split us apart now, you can'-"
"I'm pregnant Liss," Rose cried out before Lissa could go on any further. The tears in Rose's eyes were enough that she could hardly see Lissa anymore, and her heart hurt so terribly that she thought that she would die on the spot. Lissa grabbed Rose into a tight embrace. The embrace was crushing, and through the bond, Lissa's mind was reeling, the embrace was the only thing keeping her, as well as Rose, from falling apart completely.
"Who," she asked, her voice was so quiet, that even in such close proximity Rose had a hard time hearing it.
"What?"
"Who, who did this to you?" Lissa asked once more, a fierceness was in her words, and through the bond, Adrian's head popped up. Rose shook her head violently,
"It's not anything you're thinking."
"Rose, he's the only Moroi you even remotely get along with, let alone talk to."
The guess was a logical one. Who else would it have been? If only it were such a simple situation.
"A Moroi didn't do this to me,"
"Rose…" Lissa looked at Rose now, forcing their eyes to meet. She thought Rose had finally lost it. She thought that maybe the darkness had finally taken her over, just like it had Anna.
"I guess it's the perk of being shadow-kissed," Rose sighed, trying to keep herself from having another break down. Lissa was shaking her head,
"Don't you think there would have been something in our research? No one would just let something like this slip." Rose shook her head,
"We can barely find anything on spirit as it is, do you really think they would have something on a child coming from two Dhampirs?" Lissa sighed,
"I guess not," she murmured, as the wheels in her mind began turning. "But, if it was a Dhampir, who was it? Eddie?" she ruled Mason out, the timeline being wrong, but her conclusion still shocked me,
"No! Never!"
Lissa was stumped, she went through the list in her head of the Dhampir men in my life and threw out all of them because I either hated them, or they were dead. And then, suddenly, it hit her. Through the bond, Dimitri's face came into view. All of the little things came through from her memory. How concerned Dimitri and I always were with one another, the way he acted around Adrian, and how I acted with Tasha. More memories came through the bond, and each one was like a dagger to Rose's heart. The way they looked at one another, the car ride with Victor to the mall, the accusations at the court, the way Dimitri reacted when Rose had fallen from the bench. It had all been so obvious and in her face, and Lissa had looked it over so effortlessly because he had been Rose's mentor.
"How could I have been so stupid?" Lissa whispered, but the embarrassment Lissa felt was soon turned into rage as her eyes shot accusing daggers at Rose, "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because it was nothing," Rose sighed, the tears silently fell down her cheeks. She barely noticed them anymore.
"I hardly call this nothing," Lissa said, looking down at Rose's stomach.
"But it was nothing!" Rose exclaimed, the words hurt as she said them. "We couldn't have ever been together! All we had were stolen glances and mistakes."
"He was your teacher," Lissa said in disbelief, she felt betrayed by Rose, but she was disgusted with Dimitri.
"Don't do that." Rose spat, hating the way Lissa thought of him.
"Rose, he used you." She hissed, "He was your teacher, he knew better."
"He tried so hard," I groaned, remembering all the times Dimitri tried to stay in control of our situation. "Half the time, I was the one forcing things."
"But why-"Lissa stopped herself, gasping, "You loved him, didn't you." It wasn't a question, she could see it. She could see it in the way Rose's eyes burned out of life every time Lissa thought of him. Rose could only nod,
"Did he love you too?"
"Yeah,"
"Then where is he?" Rose sighed,
"His grandmother was dying. He rushed home to be with his family."
"That was almost a month ago, where is he now?"
"Still there I guess."
"Does he know about the baby?" Rose shook her head,
"He was gone by the time I found out."
"Jerk." Rose laughed,
"How was he supposed to know he'd get me pregnant?" Lissa shrugged,
"He's still a jerk." Rose laughed again as she felt all the anger and hurt leave Lissa. She wasn't mad at Rose, she was sorry for her. Through the bond she filtered in only love, and a desire to protect Rose like Rose would have protected her if the role was reverse.
"What do we do now?" Rose asked, relaxing into Lissa's embrace.
"Well, we'll have to go to the school about this." Lissa sighed, and Rose nodded,
"Kirova's gonna have a heart attack." Lissa giggled,
"She's going to die." Lissa sobered up, "Will you tell her it was Dimitri?" Rose shook her head,
"No one needs to know who the father is; just that he was a Dhampir." Lissa nodded,
"This is a miracle." She sighed, smoothing out Rose's hair.
"I know," Rose sighed, it didn't feel like a miracle, not yet.
XXX
When Rose woke up, it was the next day, and noon.
"It's about time!" Lissa giggled by Rose's bedside. "I thought you were going to sleep into tomorrow!"
"Where's Alexander?" Rose asked, shocked that Lissa wasn't ogling at him like she did every time she came to visit.
"He was fast asleep, just like his mama," She cooed, as Kirova entered the room.
"Good, you're finally awake." There was a slight uneasiness to Kirova, a three-sixty from the mood she had been in yesterday when she had visited Rose.
"What's up?" Rose asked, wanting Kirova to get straight to the point. Kirova nodded in understanding, and cleared her throat.
"As you know," she began, keeping her voice strong and authoritative, "the academy allowed you to graduate and become Lissa's guardian, despite your situation." Rose nodded,
"I'm to take Eddie's place once I'm out of this bed." Kirova shifted her eyes nervously.
"Yes, well, we took you out of the field as soon as your bump began to show, and you've been without exorcise for quite some time…" Rose sat up in her bed, her anger beginning to get the better of her,
"Don't pull this with me Kirova! I worked hard while I was in lock down! It may not be hardcore guardian training, but I stayed in shape!" Kirova nodded earnestly,
"Yes, I understand but still, we need you to be in top condition if you're going to protect the princess." Rose nodded,
"And I'll be there!"
"Yes, but you also have to think about your child as well," Kirova wasn't yelling, but she wasn't exactly speaking calmly anymore.
"We'll be at The Court soon! They have daycares and plenty of guardians around!" Kirova sighed, and looked at Lissa.
"Liss?" Rose looked at Lissa to back her up, instead she bit her lip.
"I'll leave this to you," Kirova turned on her heels, "I have to meet up with her new guardian."
"My guardian?" Rose asked incredulously, "since when do guardians need guardians?"
"Since they give birth to a baby with two Dhampir parents," Lissa said, not meeting Rose eye to eye. "Strigoi somehow got wind of Alexander, they've been pacing around the wards for the past few days." A pang of fear shot through Rose's heart.
"Why didn't anyone tell me?"
"They didn't want to worry you." Lissa grabbed for Rose's hand. "You'll only have a guardian for a few weeks until they can get you back into bad ass shape and then he'll go off to protect Alexander."
"I thought everyone agreed to keep this whole incident locked up."
"The guardian's not going to know. His orders are to whip you into shape, protect you and a child. He hasn't been told who the child is, and Alexander is too young for anyone to be able to tell if he's Moroi or Dhampir anyway."
"This is stupid!" Rose shouted, "I can take care of him, and I can take care of myself!"
"Rose calm down," Lissa begged, tugging on Rose's hand,
"Don't tell me to calm down, this is bullshit! I'm a fucking guardian! I don't need anyone, I'm the best there is!" Lissa rolled her eyes,
"Rose just quiet down,"
"No! I won't be silent!" Rose's anger was building up, "All yell all I want, I'll curse, I'll do whatever I want, I'll fight my way out of here right now and kick every Strigoi bu-" just then, the door opened, and Kirova walked in, an annoyed look on her face, as a taller figure walked in behind her. All the fight left Rose as she sank back into the bed. She couldn't tell if her heart was exploding from relief or heart ache, but when those warm brown eyes met hers all she could do was breath out his name,
"Dimitri…"