Buffy stares down at the grave, the expression on her face is one of confusion.
Her eyes glued to the ground and her mind in deep thoughts brings a frown.
She lingered around the graveyard as the light turns into darkness behind her.
Buffy notices another pair of feet beside her.
"I'm sorry." A arm is placed around her for moral support. "I couldn't come earlier."
Buffy nods and searches in desperation for hand. Together they stand side by side, looking down at the grave.
Faith, it was exactly what she needed.
"Trees and graves, could it be more of a downer?" They sat under a tree, leaning against it. Buffy was leaning against Faith's shoulder.
"The funeral was, it was brutal, but it's tomorrow that I'm worried about." She sighs. "What's tomorrow?"
And how could Faith know? Buffy didn't even know. It wasn't like they had gone through this before, death didn't exactly come with an instruction guide as what to do next.
"That's exactly what I don't know. Up until now I, I've had a road map. Things to do every minute having to do with Mom."
Buffy wasn't alone, yet she felt it all to be unbearable. She hadn't gone through this before, she didn't know what to expect.
"Tomorrow the stuff of everyday living resumes."
It went in one ear and out of the other. Buffy had heard her, she knew Faith meant well, but it sounded so superior.
"And everybody expects me to know how to do it, because, I'm so strong." It may have come out wrong, but in the end, it's how they all saw her. Buffy was strong, maybe it would have been different if she was of weak character.
"You just need some time. I'm sure everybody understands that." But what did Faith know, really. Maybe it was just Buffy's way of dealing with it, she didn't need the comfort. Hell, if she couldn't even cry, then what was the point of all this. Had she completely shut down emotionally?
"Times not the issue. I can stick wood in vampires… but Mom was the strong one in real life. She always knew how to make things better… just what to say." They say we to learn from the best. Most of Buffy's knowledge did in fact come from her mother. She was the one, she was the only one who could make her listen, really listen.
"Yeah… you'll find your way. I mean, not all at once but…" Buffy shakes her head. "I don't know. I keep thinking about it… when I found her. If I had just gotten there ten minutes earlier."
She knew she couldn't go on blaming herself, because it wasn't her fault. But just the fact that there was a slight chance that she could've saved her Mom, was killing her inside.
"You said they told you it wouldn't have made a difference."
It was like a tug at her heart, ripping her a part.
"They said 'probably'… wouldn't have made a difference. The exact thing they said… was 'probably.' I haven't told that to anyone."
Until now.
"Doesn't make it your fault. You couldn't have done anything different." Buffy sighed yet once again. "I didn't even start CPR until they told me. I fell apart. That's how good I am at being a grownup."
Faith spoke in short sentences and was very understanding, maybe that was what being a grownup was all about.
"Buffy…" Listening and understanding. In other words communicating.
"And it'd be okay if it was just me I had to worry about. But Dawn…" She hadn't even stopped to think about her little sister. "Look, it's okay. I know you don't feel like it now, but you are strong, Buffy." There it was again, that word, 'strong.' Was she really strong, strong enough for this? "You're gonna figure this out. And you have people to help you. You don't have to do this alone."
Buffy stares up at the sky. "It's gonna be light soon." Not that it mattered to her, she had nowhere in particular to be, no one in particular to tend to. "I can stay i town as long as you want me." Her heart skipped at beat when hearing Faith speak those words.
"How's forever? Does forever work for you?"
For the first time, she turns her head to look at Faith, she sighs and sits up.
"That's a bad idea. I'm seriously needy right now." There was no pun intended. "Let me worry about the neediness. I can handle it."
They look at each other. All of a sudden Buffy leans in and kisses her. A soft, passionate yet innocent kiss, which turns into a heated make out session and they pull away.
As if ashamed by her actions, Buffy looks down. "I told you." It was time for Faith to let out a sigh. "You better go." Yet another sigh from Faith. "I'm sorry."
Reassurance from Buffy was muchly needed now. "No. I'm so grateful that you came, Faith. I didn't think I was going to be able to make it through the night." Faith looks up at the night sky, which is slowly starting to … "Well, we still have a few more minutes until I have to go."
Buffy lets out a smile, that is not noticeable to the naked eye. She smiles on the inside. "Good." She puts her head on Faith's chest and leans against her. Faith puts her arm around Buffy's shoulders. "Good."
They sit quietly together.