Constipated
Feeling REALLY hyper right now. Heehee haha. I don't really get it myself and I have no idea why I'm writing this. :D Anyway:
Disclaimer: I don't own the Simpsons (sob) or this weird song (laughs)
Summary: Homer ate waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much. Songfic: Constipated – Weird Al Yaukovic
Uh huh, extra cheese.
"Mmm…. Cheese" Homer drooled.
Uh
huh, uh huh, save a piece for
me. Pizza
party at your house,
I went just to
check
it out.
19 extra larges,
What a shame, no one
came.
Just
us, eatin' all alone,
"Can't talk, eating" he grumbled even though no one was there (except a pixie)
You
said take
the
pizza home.
No sense lettin' all this go to
waste,
Homer didn't care, he just wanted food. More food.
So
then I faced
Pizza all day, and
everyday, there's cheese round the clock,
Homer sat there all day, skipping work, eating and eating Luigi's Pizza
It's
gettin' me blocked, And I sure don't care, for
irregularity.
It was too tasty, he just wanted more, more food.
Tell
me,
Why'd you have to
go and make me so constipated?
The long tedious hours in the morning.
Cos'
right now I'd
do
anything to just get my bowels evacuated,
In the bathroom.
He was just a total moron. He had to eat more than he bargained for.
I
sit and I wait and I strain and I sweat and I
clench and I feel the pain
Marge was right the night before but why would he listen?
Oh,
should've taken
Laxatives
or had my colon irrigated. I was feelin'
pretty down,
No, no, no.
'Til my girlfriend came around.
Marge wandered in, back from the grocery.
We're
just so alike in every way, I gotta
say.
In
fact, I just thought I might,
pop the question there that night.
She put all her stuff down and questioned herself of why the keys were still on the door.
I
was kissing her so tenderly,
But woe is me.
Homer
just enjoyed the night too much, not realising the consequences. Who
would have guessed, her family
crest.
I
suddenly spy, tattoo'd on her thigh.
And son of a gun, it's just
like the one on me.
Tell me.
He was drunk and was seeing things.
How
was I supposed to know we were both
related?
He thought that they were cousins agian.
Believe
me, if I knew she was my cousin we never
would
have dated.
What to do now?
Should I go ahead and propose and
get hitched and have kids with
11 toes,
And move to Alabama
where that kind of thing is tolerated.
No, no, no.
It
wasn't that day 10 years in the past. He was getting hazy from all
that food. (no no no)
He's starting to panic, imagining kids with 5 fingers and pink skin again.
"AGH!" Ooh,
I had so much on my mind,
I thought maybe I'd unwind.
Try out
that new roller coaster ride,
And the guide...
Now, asleep on the toilet seat, he was hallucinating again, dreaming of the worst nightmare, the food, it's all going, going down the drain, all away forever.
"AGH!"
Said
not to stand, but that's a demand,
Marge heard the scream as Homer finally woke up and got up.
That
I couldn't meet, I got on my feet,
"Homer?" She called as she heard the toilet flush.
And
stood up instead and knocked off my head you see.
Tell me.
They met in the hall way.
"AGH!" Homer screamed as he saw Marge.
Why'd
I have to go and get myself decapitated?
Marge stood there confused as Homer was in his little nightmare world again.
This
really is a major inconvenience, oh man I really hate it.
It's
such a drag now
Homer having night-terrors from eating too much and Marge thinking he did something really dumb and caused a life-threatening problem again.
I
can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't snore, I
can't
belch or
yodel anymore,
Can't spit or
blow
my nose or even read Sports Illustrated.
Oh no!
Marge reached to call 911 again while Homer was suffocating himself on the ground. Marge sighed.
Why'd
I have to go and get myself all mutilated?
He just ate all that pizza, all night, non-stop. Too much for him. He just can't handle all that tomato and cheese, chicken maybe but pizza, no.
I
gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me
irritated.
"Please hold" The phone said. Marge sighed. They had cut them off again for calling too much. She looked down at her husband sucking his thumb while screaming silently.
What
a bummer.
I can't blink, I can't cough, I can't sneeze.
But my
neck is enjoying a pleasant breeze now.
"Why you little… !"
He was strangling himself. Marge quietly took him by the arms and dragged him up the stairs to the bedroom.
Haven't
been the same
since
my head and I were separated.
No, no, no.
"Woohoo!" He cried out, "4 day weekend!" The day before he spent drunk.
He finally woke up.
"Marge! Beer me!" He ordered Marge.
"You know why don't you?" Marge muttered as she went down the stairs, "It'll happen again, won't you ever learn?"
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That was weird wasn't it?
Homer's such a moron. Haha, that's why we love 'im! This song rocks even though it's totally freak. :) So hyper! WEEEEEEEEEEE:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D