Why is life so cruel? For a while now I've been asking myself that same question ever since the love of my life betrayed me in the most brutal of ways.
I thought Sam loved me, but I guess I'm not what he wanted.
I don't blame my cousin, Emily, for her part in this. At least she came to tell me and asked for my permission before things really got serious. And by serious, I mean my ex boyfriend proposing to her not long after they met and dumped me almost within the same week.
Em has always been like a sister to me and has never hurt me in any way before.
Sam has never hurt me either, and although, he did try to bring peace in telling me that this was for the better and that he couldn't stand for me to get hurt. I hope he realizes that he was still hurting me in the worst way possible.
Sure, I know about the stories of our tribes' protectors—the werewolves—but only as stories. Sam said that our break up was part of those stories, but couldn't give much clarification on the subject.
I thought it was stupid that he broke up with me and used the old stories as his argument, but very briefly.
Emily was the one who explained to me in greater detail what he meant, even though she made me promise not to tell Sam or anyone else that she said anything. It was supposed to be a secret that a select group could know.
I preferred to have heard this from her because it reminded me of the old Emily, and that she still is who she was. My best friend who never kept secrets from me, even if those secrets were hurtful or not to be shared. She always felt that if it hurt a person more to keep the secret away then they deserved to know the full answer; the real reason. Nonetheless, she is careful about certain secrets, I put the pieces together myself by remembering the old stories that I've heard as a little girl. They seemed silly at first, but I would trust Emily with my life.
Don't get me wrong, I am happy that Emily is happy and for Sam; but I do sort of feel that justice has been served when Sam gave Emily her scars. I was one of the first she had called to her side after the accident, and one of the few who actually knew the truth. It was Sam who did this not a bear as the story was explained to everyone else. She wouldn't tell me how he did it, only that it was an accident that he barely had any control over at the time. I would have told her that she is an idiot to back to him, except, looking at her face when she's thinking about him is hard to ignore. She loves him no matter what and he loves her unconditionally.
I can also tell whenever Sam looks at Emily; it kills him knowing what he did to her and that he can never take it back.
It is only a small piece of me that feels that way whereas the other, the more dominate piece, feels that it should have been me. I would have gladly taken her place if it meant keeping Sam.
I may sound selfish and desperate, but Em has always been the most beautiful out of the both of us, in my view. She deserves the best whereas I am plain and much tougher than any of the other girls on the reservation. I remember when Sam said that that was my best quality. I guess now he prefers the more exotic, more timid types of girls over the muscled ones.
I suppose I deserve what was given to me or what was taken from me.
That was one heartbreak I had to go through this year, the other was losing my father. The only man in my life who really understood me. He respected me and raised me to be tough like a warrior even though I am his daughter.
Dad said that I reminded him of mom when they first met and that Seth acts more like him when he was younger.
My brother, Seth, has always been more childish and too free-spirited to take things seriously.
"He's a good kid with a good attitude about life, but he needs guidance, someone to keep him grounded," My father would say, "Your mother had to keep me grounded when we first met and I turned into this wise old man that you see before you." He always made me laugh when he said that.
My father has always been wise and my mother has always been the warrior of the family; always defending us in ways that made her stronger than the mightiest protector of our lands.
As a child hearing about the werewolf-protectors, I always pictured my mom as one of those protectors. Fighting the 'cold ones' and saving our tribe single-handedly, but I guess, she couldn't save everyone.
She always worried about my father's health, but he was so stubborn that he never listened to her. I'll bet now he wishes he did instead of seeing his family and tribe in sorrow around his gravesite watching his casket being lowered into the ground.
I shall miss him and be who he always wanted me to be: his warrior.
"Leah, come on, it's time to get up." Seth wined from the other side of my door.
It's been a week since our father's funeral, and Seth has been trying to be the man of the house by pushing everyone back into the old routine. I personally hate it because it makes me feel that we never had a dad and that Seth is trying to fill his spot. Although, he never will, I know deep down Seth is just as sad as the rest of us, but at the moment, he is keeping us grounded.
"LEAH!" He shouts again.
"ALRIGHT, I'M UP!" I shout back leaping out of bed and opening the door to find him still in front of it. "Now leave me alone." I snapped at him slamming the door in his face before he can say another word.
For some reason lately, I've been really angry. Everything around me has just been irritating me. I'm wondering if it's my period that is making me so moody. I usually am during this time of the month.
I quickly jumped into the shower then grabbed a t-shirt and jeans to put on. I must be losing weight on my diet because my clothes seem to be fitting better. I'm not doing much besides counting calories, but I seem to be toning up. It's strange 'cause I'm not exercising much, still I'm liking this new me regardless; even the hair.
I recently cut my long hair as sort of a way for a fresh start. I cried that night after it was gone, but now I've learned to like it. One good thing about it is it cuts down the time of preparation I put into it everyday.
As I walked into the living room, Seth was sitting on the couch eating a bowl of cereal while watching cartoons. He maybe a freshman in high school, but he should know it's time to grow up.
"Hey mom." I greeted her with a hug from behind.
Mom and I have always been close and after dad's death I've been trying to keep her aware of how much she means to me.
"Good morning dear." She kissed my head and pats my hands that were on her stomach. "Hungry?"
"Yeah, what's for breakfast?" Lately, my appetite has been growing too, but I'm still making sure that I eat mostly fruits and vegetables for snacks rather than anything sugary. Fortunately, Seth has been eating those left and right so I'm not tempted too much.
"Emily brought over some blueberry muffins for us." She answered pointing out the plate on the counter. "Seth has been eating so much lately that I've barely been able to keep food in the house. I'm grateful for her generosity."
"I wonder why that kid is eating double his weight in food." I said taking a seat on the counter eating a muffin.
"He's a growing boy who needs his nourishment. Much like his sister." She says poking my stomach which has always been my ticklish spot.
"Mom, come on, you know I want to lose a few pounds." I replied when my giggles stopped. "I guess it's a good thing that Seth doesn't eat the fruits and vegetables or else I would be on a starvation diet."
Mom just rolled her eyes at me and continued with the dishes.
A knock at the door interrupted the silence.
"I'll get it." Seth yelled over the TV.
"Hey guys, what's up?" He greeted.
Mom and I walked to the door to see who our guests were.
Not surprising that Sam and his little gang have come by. They usually have been hanging out with Seth and sometimes I get dragged along with them either as a result from the constant whining from my little brother or my mother's request. Both are hard to resist—well Seth is easier than mom.
"Good morning boys." Mom smiled.
"Morning, Mrs. Clearwater," Sam answers, he always was the one to take charge. "How are you doing?"
"Just fair. What are you all up to today?"
"We are heading down to the beach and wondered if Seth and Leah would like to come with us?" He looks at me when he asks.
"Yeah!" Seth always jumps at the chance to hang with the guys.
"That's a wonderful idea. Leah, why don't you with them." It wasn't a question.
I've been having this feeling that everyone is expecting me to hang with Sam and his little pack for a while now and have hated it.
"Sure." I gave in. I was never the one to argue with my mother. I always trusted that she had my best interest at heart.
I tossed the rest of my muffin at Seth knowing he would eat it no matter where it had been and followed the guys out of the house.
I stayed a few feet behind the group then looked behind me to see mom still standing in the doorway watching us with an expression in her eyes that I couldn't quite place. True to her, she's always hiding her emotions from us besides love and happiness. Anger, hurt, sadness, the ones she didn't want anyone to see were always masked. I got the same thing from her unlike Seth who got his open-book expressions from our father. It made me curious as to why she was looking at me in such a way. Was it concern, anxiety…her expression confused me.
I brushed it off as I saw that I was getting farther behind the group of boys, but I didn't want to run to catch up. I much rather go at my own pace.
When we finally made it to the beach, the guys started messing around. Tackling each other into the sand. Sam just stood by the side and watched mainly to see that no one got hurt.
Now I was wishing that I had brought a book or something to pass the time. I didn't want to sit anywhere near Sam in case he decided to strike up a conversation with me.
Opting to sit on a large rock that resembled a chair, away from the guys, I closed my eyes and focused on nature around me instead.
It wasn't sunny, but it not raining either. The winds were calm bringing in the salty smell from the ocean. The sounds of the waves crashing over each other drowned out the nosy chatter of the guys. This comforted me and helped me to block out all my worries and problems.
This reminded me of heaven, reminded me of my dad. I hope wherever he is that it is calm and peaceful there too.
What felt like a wave crashing on top of me woke me up. I opened my eyes in shock to see my brother and all the other guys laughing at me. Sam was even trying to hide his amusement, but was failing at it.
My anger was pulsing now. I hated to show my temper because it only cause destruction.
"Sorry Leah, but you look like you needed to wake up." Paul joked. Both he and Jared were holding a large empty pail that, no doubt, held seawater which I was now soaked in.
I couldn't hold it in anymore.
"You think this is funny?" I asked standing up, pointing at my wet body.
The boys were still laughing at my misery.
"You are all so immature. You call yourselves the protectors, but you are just a bunch of brainless, imbeciles." My voice was getting louder with each word.
The laughter had stopped and the boys were backing away, but I was still fuming and I could feel it bubbling throughout my body; more like shaking through my body, though that could have been from the cold water that I was drenched in.
"Leah, you need to calm down." Sam was walking towards me trying to talk me down.
"I need to calm down. If you're their leader then you should have stopped them from doing this." I pointed a finger at him. "All I wanted was to relax and forget everything for a while and your lap dogs had to ruin that."
"Lee, please." He was using my old pet name from when we were dating. He shouldn't have done that.
"Don't call me that." I growled.
Suddenly, I was shaking more uncontrollably. I couldn't calm my rage, it just kept building starting along my spine and burning through to my bones where I felt it explode out of my skin.
I shrieked from the sensation because it was slightly scary, but in mid-breath, it turned into a howl.
It felt like I had dropped to my hands and knees, however when I opened my eyes, I was taller than Sam and the others. They were looking at me with confusion, but why?
I heard a whine and noticed that it had come from me.
"What happened to me?" I tried to say, but it came out as a bark?
I look down from the shocked eyes and at my body. I had paws under me and gray fur covering my body.
Oh. My…I howled in rage and fled from the beach ignoring the calls of the others behind me.
I needed to get away, but where would I go? I'm a freakin' wolf now! I couldn't go home.
"Yes you can, Leah." Sam?
"Yes, it's me. I can hear your thoughts just as you can hear ours." He spoke calmly.
"Come on sis, slow down and wait for us will ya?" Seth? "By the way, welcome to the pack."
I stopped to an abrupt halt.
"We've been expecting this since we've noticed your physical changes, Leah." Sam said.
"Yeah, that new diet of yours must really have been working." Paul joked and got a few laughs from the others.
I growled in his direction. They still had not caught up with me just yet, but they were close that I could hear their paws running on the forest floor.
"Enough, all of you." Sam ordered and I felt the order like a weight being pressed down on the others who were joking.
Seth was the first to come into the clearing and trotted up to me nudging me with his head.
"Don't worry sis, I know it's a little freaky when you first phase, but it'll get better." He said.
I whined again and laid down on the forest floor. By now, all the others were present.
"It'll be alright. Your brothers are here for you know."
"I can barely stand one, how am I suppose to stand six now?" I snapped.
"Easy, the first thing you need to do is learn some self-control. You'll be able to phase better if you can achieve that."
"Sam, do me a favor and Leave. Me. The. Hell. Alone!" I stood up growling in his direction.
The others were telling me in my head that this was a bad idea and Seth was trying to push me away, but I was still angry only growling softly as a warning.
"Leah, I know that this is hard and that you are confused, but there is no reason for…"
"No reason? Sam, I'm a freaking wolf now. I can hear all of your thoughts."
"Yeah, we can hear your belly-aching too." Paul pointed out.
I snapped again. This time lunging at Paul who realized a second too late what I was doing.
I tackled him into a nearby tree, knocking it over to crash onto the ground.
He got up quickly and we both circled each other snarling. I was scaring myself a bit by what I was doing, but the instinct to attack was too strong. Like my animal instincts had taken over my human logic.
We lunged forward again. Paul was taller than me, but I was able to ram my upper body into his chest causing him to fall backwards till he caught himself and started pushing me back. His teeth snapping at my body as we were connected; mine were the first to tear through the skin and fur of his front leg. Paul howled in both anger and pain then tried to snap at me again, but I was too quick for him.
"Paul, Leah, that's enough." I felt the order again. Except it was on me. I felt the urge to fight leave my body, but I was still tense. Paul, I could feel, was having the same issue.
"Leah, you have to work on your self-control." Sam was speaking calmly again.
"Come on sis; let's go home so that we can get some fresh clothes and maybe something to eat. You haven't been eating that much lately anyways." Seth added.
Ever since dad passed away, I haven't really been eating like I use to. I normally don't when I'm sad or depressed; telling everyone that I was on a diet is an excuse I use whenever I hardly eat during the hard times.
"Really?" Seth asked.
"You haven't noticed, stupid?" I growled, yet softer.
"Sorry, I guess I haven't." I could feel his sadness and something else too. Someone was recalling a memory.
"Lee-lee, please talk to me. Your mom says that you haven't been out of the house for days now." Sam said. "I'm sorry that I broke up with you, but it's for the best. Trust me on this."
That was a few days after he broke up with me. I barely ate anything for two weeks.
"Sorry Leah, that came up before I could pull it away." Sam explained.
I gazed down at the forest floor just wanting to dig a hole and bury myself in it until I died.
"Come on Leah, there's no need for the dramatics." Jacob said. He was trying to be sincere, but I wasn't having that.
I let every thought and memory drain out of my mind. I could still hear the other's thoughts, but I ignored them.
"Come on, Leah." Seth was nudging me to walk.
I was like a zombie, walking with the pack as they led me away from the clearing.
Sam moved to the front while a few of the others took their positions flanking him. Seth stayed with me in the middle. Jared was on my other side repeatedly apologizing for my sorrow, but I barely paid any attention to him.
When Sam finally stopped, we all mirrored his movement even me and I didn't realize it until afterwards. He and a couple of the others slipped into the bushes and I could feel that they were phasing. It felt easy enough to do, but I had no energy to do what they did. I lay down on the ground again, my head resting on my paws. Seth laid by my side putting his head on the back of my neck as sort of a comfort.
A few minutes later, Sam and the few others that had left came back in their human form. Sam was carrying a small bundle of clothes. I realized that they were mine. Still, I didn't get up or even move.
Sam placed the bundled on a fallen log then knelt in front of me. I barely looked at him.
"Leah, did you feel how to phase back into human form?" He asked.
I nodded my head slightly to answer him.
"I'll help you, sis." Seth volunteered picking his head up enthusiastically.
"We will too." Jared and Jacob said at the same time.
I got up from the ground and made my way behind the bushes near my clothes.
"Just let yourself go, like this." I heard Jacob.
I felt him phase; it was like swimming up from the depths of hot water to the cool surface where he regained his shape. Then Jared phased and it felt the same way. I decided to give it a try.
I imagined swimming in a hot spring and was coming up to the surface looking for relieve from the heat. It was calming and helped to concentrate on my goal.
When I opened my eyes, I was still on the ground on my hands and knees, but lower to the ground. It was also silent; no other thoughts but my own. I looked at my hands and they were hands again. My body was human again, except that I was naked. Oh god, this could get embarrassing.
"Come on Leah. Let's go see mom." Seth said.
I didn't turn to see him, but I could hear him with perfect clarity as well as other voices that sounded distant, but they sounded closer than they really were. I recognized my mom's, Quil's grandfather, and Billy Black—the village elders.
I quickly put on my clothes and stepped out of the bushes. The guys were looking at me, waiting for me to make my next move.
I walked ahead of them towards the break of the trees. Before I left the forest, I saw how clear my vision had become. It was amazing and I could see my house before I came to the barrier of the tree line. I stopped before the humans could see me.
"It's ok, sis." Seth said grabbing my hand and leading me out the rest of the way.
Just as we cleared the tree line, the humans noticed us. Mom was only looking at me; she had tears in her eyes. I hated to see them because they may have been tears of joy to her, but I was filled with sadness and grief. Unworthy of her feelings for I did not want this life, this hell. She does not deserve a daughter like me.
I couldn't be Leah anymore. Her daughter that would someday fall in love and have a happy future, but now—thanks to what I've become and would remain frozen as—I couldn't. It sucked me in and made my life worst. I would be reminded of that every time I would phase into a wolf.
I couldn't go up to her and hug my mom like I knew she wanted. I pulled my hand away from Seth and ran pass everyone into my house and into my room.
Throwing myself on my bed, I started sobbing not giving a damn if the others could hear me because nature, apparently, didn't care about me. She just tossed in random junk into my life and added some stupid magic just to complicate my life more. She had created a freak.
The tears eventually stopped, but I couldn't fall asleep even though it had been dark for a couple of hours now. I could hear Seth in his room and mom in hers. Neither of them sounded like they were asleep and I knew what was on their minds: me.
I was restless. Whenever I cried, I could never get to sleep and often stayed awake all night, but then the sunrise was soothing after a long dreadful night as if it were chasing away all the bad dreams. Like the dream-catcher my father made for me that hung above my window. Both would catch the badness that came crashing down on me.
I watched as the sun come over the horizon mixed in with the clouds that spread across the sky. Only a few rays escaped from the deep grey curtain before they were swallowed up once more by the blanket. That is how I am feeling; like I had been swallowed up by the monster within me except the sun will go below the horizon and tomorrow it might be free, but not me.
All day I stayed in bed, even when I heard mom and Seth get out of theirs and started moving around our tiny house. I couldn't move nor had any desire to do so.
At one point I finally fell asleep until a howl broke out somewhere in the forest. It sounded like a call, but I still had no desire to do anything even if I felt the responsibility or instinct to help protect my tribe, I didn't move. I fell back to sleep after some effort.
When I awoke later, it was dark and a thunderstorm had rolled in. This is what I loved as a kid, hearing and watching a storm blowing over us. The patter of the rain on the roof and my window was always like a lullaby to me. The thunder use to make me giggle for I thought the sky was hungry. Finally, the lightning would flash lighting up the sky and created interesting colors if only for a brief second. For now, the sound of the rain helped me to calm down enough to go back to sleep.
A few more days passed in the same fashion as the first. Although, my limbs were becoming numb the position I forced my body into, I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to be who I was now. I wanted to go back to my old life where Sam still loved me, my father was still alive and happy, and I was a normal young woman with a future.
Mom and Seth came in every few hours after the second day and tried to get me to eat, but I felt horrible whenever I even looked at food.
I could tell that my body was getting weaker because I wasn't taking care of it, but I didn't care; right now, my body was revolting to me as if a hideous monster was hiding under my skin—which there was.
I've contemplated trying a suicide attempt, but I know that my inhuman body would heal itself before I could do any serious damage.
A knock at the door of my room brought me out of my nap. I didn't answer it though.
Another knock, but it went ignored as well.
"Leah, can we come in?" Oh great Sam, and I'll bet the rest of the pack were right behind him.
I still didn't move even as the door opened.
The others piled into my small room, but I didn't even look at them.
A few sat on my bed while the others leaned against the walls.
"Come on Leah, you need to get up." Sam spoke softly.
"Please sis, you haven't eaten in almost a week or moved for that matter." Seth added.
I paid no attention to them.
"Hey, we know this is scary, but you are blowing this out of proportion," Jacob said, "We can help if you let us. Please, don't shut us out."
"Leah, you're scaring both Seth and your mom. How would your dad feel if you were doing this?" Sam asked.
I wasn't meaning to, but I was starting to pay attention and didn't like how this was making me feel.
"I'll bet your dad would be happy about what you've become, but he is probably disappointed that you aren't doing what you were destined to do." Jared added.
I noticed my breathing was starting to pick up like I was trying to calm myself down. Sam put his hand on my shoulder probably trying to calm me down, but ever since he broke up with me, I've hated it even when he's in close range of me.
"Leah, please don't be angry." It was too late.
"Then get your filthy hand off of me." I said through my clenched teeth.
My body was starting to shake and I recognized it from the first time that I phased into a wolf.
"Oh no." I couldn't stop it.
Sam's hand left my body, but I was still shaking.
"Sam move." I heard Seth order as he moved to hold me. "Calm down Leah, I'm here, calm down." He was stroking my arms trying to bring comfort, it wasn't working though.
"Seth. Move." I didn't want to hurt him, but I couldn't control myself.
I jumped out of bed and ran for the door. My body wasn't under my control anymore as I felt myself explode as I ran into the pouring rain outside. I phased in the middle of my front yard and kept running even after I hit the forest.
I didn't last long though probably because of the lack of nutrition in my body and from my cramped muscles, but I kept pushing until I collapsed on the ground from exhaustion and dizziness. I could hear and see where the pack was; not far from me, but I didn't have the energy to get away from them.
"Leah?" Seth asked wearily.
I gave an involuntary whine that sounded like I was crying. I hated to cry in front of others just like my mom. She and I only cried in private like before and after my father's funeral.
"Leah, come on. We need to get you to eat." Sam said. They were all now with me.
"Just let me die." I whispered.
"Leah, we've already lost one Clearwater, we don't want to lose another." Embry answered.
"And I don't want to lose my sister." Seth added. He came up and nudged my neck like he did the other day.
I rolled away from him. "Sorry Seth." I said.
"Leah, please, we need you. Your mom and Seth need you." Sam replied. He came up and started to push me from the ground, but I moved away from his touch still lying on the ground.
Jared and Jacob took over and started to do the same thing. I guess they felt what I was feeling every time Sam comes close to me, but I still didn't budge.
"Please Leah, don't be so stubborn." Seth retorted. He was starting to sound irritated.
I hated that I was hurting him and that I was being a pain. Maybe they would just leave me alone if I started to cooperate to a degree.
They didn't answer what I was thinking; I guess that was for my benefit—trying to give me some comfort.
I tried to get up with Jacob and Jared's support, but when I got to my feet I collapsed again.
"Come on, Leah." Paul demanded impatiently.
"I'm trying you jackass." I screamed at him.
"Welcome back, sis." Seth cheered happily.
I tried to get up again and succeeded, but I still felt very weak.
"Come on let's go eat. I'm sure we're all hungry." Embry said. I could tell who that was directed more towards.
"Don't even talk yourself out of eating this time, big sis." Seth warned.
"Leave me alone." I replied almost like a whisper.
"Leah, don't make me turn it into an order. Your body needs extra nourishment because of your transformation now." Sam commanded.
I had to stifle my growl, but started walking back towards home.
Throughout the walk home, my legs felt shaky, but I kept pushing forward. I could feel Seth's excitement that I was now a member of the pack and other's as well. They were impressed or confused by it because I was a female, the only one in history. Still, I kept my mind numb only allowing their voices to go through one ear and out the other—so to speak.
When we cleared the forest, I immediately recognized where we were heading. It wasn't my house that was for sure.
"Sorry Leah, but you need to get out for a little while longer." Sam felt my hesitation.
I looked ahead at Emily's house and allowed the numbness to take over everything.
From where we were, I saw clothes laid out on the front step for each of us; including me.
We all moved into a line behind Sam and grabbed the clothes as we passed. I saw Emily busy in the kitchen like she usually is. She could never sit still for very long.
Suddenly another memory was flooding through our thoughts coming from Sam. It was about him and Emily when they first fell in love.
"Sam, keep your thoughts to yourself." I snapped baring my teeth at him.
I didn't care if he was the leader of the pack; I needed to get him to stop.
"Leah. Watch your tone." He retorted.
"Then watch your thoughts." I replied grabbing my clothes and sprinting away for quick privacy.
It took me a little while to remember how to phase back because of the numbness, but once I did, I took a few extra minutes—after I was dressed—to collect myself.
When I finally wondered into the house, I could feel nothing but the numbness. I tried not to look at anyone, but felt their gazes on me.
"Hey sis, come here." Seth reached out gently and took my hand leading me to an empty chair.
A plate full of food was set in front of me and I noticed it was Emily's hand. I took a chance to glance up at her. She had on her reassuring smile that always had made me smile back; except now.
I looked back at my plate and noticed that she made my favorite; chili hot dogs with mustard.
I picked up the first of three that we on the plate and took a small bite. Although my stomach was trying to rush me to take more and bigger bites, I took my time and was the last one to finish it all even though the others had on average six or seven.
"Do you want any more, Leah?" Emily asked.
I didn't look up at her as I shook my head.
I heard her sigh and ask "Anyone for some cookies."
There was a round of excitement in the room, but I didn't feel it.
Emily put a huge platter of chocolate chip cookies on the table, but I didn't touch them. They were, however, gone in a few minutes.
I continued to sit quietly; only looking at the empty table while Emily cleared it after all the food was eaten. My stomach was still demanding more food, but I won the battle against it. Still, I could feel everyone's disappointment.
"Leah, we should probably get home and check in on mom before we go on patrol tonight." Seth said.
I had been waiting for this moment and was thankful that it finally arrived. I pushed out of my chair with more force than necessary and followed my little brother out of the house without looking up at anyone.
Seth and I walked home in silence. I was glad that he could keep his mouth shut for once.
At home, only mom was there reading a book in the living room.
"Hey mom." Seth said casually.
"Hey guys." She answered in the same tone as if we just got back from school.
"Um…Sam wants us to patrol tonight, but we thought we come by and see ya before we left." He went on.
"Thank you for the update." Mom replied.
"Ok, see ya." He then turned and left the house.
I looked up from the floor when I heard the door close behind me. Before I knew it, I was in my mom's arms on the couch. She was holding me and rocking me telling me that everything was going to be alright while I cried as I hadn't cried before.
Mom kept whispering comforting words to me over and over again until I was able to force my sobs to stop. Even then I didn't want to get out of my mother's comforting arms. She saw through the monster that I had become and made me feel like her little girl again.
I got up to leave for patrol, I'm sure I had wasted enough time blubbering like a baby, but mom held my hands keeping me on the couch.
"I know this is scary to you, sweetheart, but you have to understand that this is a good thing. A very good thing. Your father always told you that you are a warrior and now you are, so go out there and be the strongest you can be." She said with a smile.
"Thanks mom." I said, my voice hoarse from the all the crying. "I love you."
"I love you too." She replied and allowed my hands to slip out of hers.
I gave her a kiss on the cheek and left my home to join my pack. I may be a warrior now, but this is not the kind that I wanted to be.
'Dad, please help me.' I silently prayed as I ran into the forest and began discarding my clothes leaving them on a fallen tree for later.
If I had to be a monster then I will be a monster. Thinking about this hurt…this anger started to make my hands shake. It wasn't long until I figured that this feeling could help me phase, but I wasn't going to play the helpless little girl anymore.
Daddy's little girl isn't here anymore, but this rough warrior was and she didn't care who was in her way as long as got to fight and it didn't matter who it would be with.
I just wanted to fight everyone including nature. 'Sorry dad.'