The Heroes Parody Project
Season 6
Chapter 1
Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright its creator, Tim Kring, and NBC. I do not own anything, know or represent any of the cast or crew. Excluding Celebrity Parody, all characters represented in this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to any real life person, living or dead, is completely coincidental. This fan fiction is written purely for entertainment purposes only so please don't sue. Reader Discretion is advised.
Sultry Voice: Next Summer...only on NBC. Next Summer's Next Biggest Hit. Only Next Summer...
Niki lowers the script.
Niki: Again?! Who wrote this? It's way too repetitive. I think we know by now that its NEXT SUMMER.
Niki goes back to reading.
Niki (sultry voice): It's "Must Summer T.V"...oh good grief. That doesn't even make any sense. Just watch the damn show.
She flings the script.
Next Summer...NBC raises the bar with next year's most talked about original fantasy drama thriller..."Checkmate".
Two Kingdoms...
King Peter Petrelli raises his scepter.
Torn apart by a Hundred Thousand Century War
Niki: "A Hundred Thousand Centuries"!? That's like...Ten Million Years! Humans weren't even invented yet!
King Matthew Parkman stews on his throne.
They must bring their armies together...for one last decisive battle.
King Peter, Queen Elle, and their loyal subjects:
Noah, Brave Knight of The Army Of Blackstone.
Nathan, The Bishop, healer of ailments.
Their army marches while on the other side, as King Matthew and this wife, Queen Nicole Sanderina Of Internet Strippershire...
Niki: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF NAME IS THAT?!
Hiro, Brave Knight of The Army Of White Lions
Claire, The Bishop, healer of...
Claire: Oh my god! I just realized...is this CHESS!? Are we seriously doing a CHESS SHOW?!
Niki: It doesn't get any worse than this...
Be there...when the first and final battle begins again for the first time!
Peter: You're playing a dangerous game of Chess, King Parkman.
Matt: And I believe you're already in checkmate, old friend.
Peter: This...sounds vaguely similar to the "Son Of A Rich" script we did last season.
Matt: Oh yeah, totally ripped it from that. Saves us money on writing actual original material.
Peter: That's brilliant!
The Drama and Intrigue NEVER stops.
Niki looks at herself in the mirror.
Niki: Damn, I am one good looking Queen. YES! And look at those eye brows! Plucked for the Gods!...Except for that little booger right there.
She turns her head and notices one eyebrow hair sticking out 6 inches from her head.
Niki: EWWW! Where did that even come from? Let's go ahead and take care of you.
Niki takes her tweezers and plucks the hair from her face...all the remaining eye brow hairs immediately fall out.
Niki: AHHHHH! WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?
Hiro rushes in.
Hiro: My Queen! I heard screaming!
Niki: Don't look! I'm missing the Royal Brows!
Hiro: I can see that. It look like you plucked a "load bearing brow". It's the one that holds all the others in place.
Niki: Oh, shut up! That's not a thing!
Hiro: Yes, my Queen.
Niki: What am I going to do?
Hiro: Best thing to do in this situation is to even them out!
Hiro grabs a cloth with hot wax on it. He presses it against Niki's left eye brows and rips.
Niki: AHHHHHH!
Hiro: There...perfect symmetry!
Niki: No! This won't work! GET ME BROWS! NOW!
Hiro: Yes, my liege.
Hiro returns with a box.
Hiro: I have retrieved some new brows from the Royal Blacksmith, your Majesty. They say they're from the 'Mr. Potato Head' line. I think they'll look ravishing on you.
He slaps two sets of brows on Niki, she looks at herself in the mirror.
Niki: I guess they'll have to do.
A Pawn runs in.
Pawn: My Queen! King Petrelli of The North is invading.
Niki rotates her eyebrows into a downward angle.
Niki: Now I'm REALLY mad!
The Romance...
King Peter enters the Kingly Bath Chambers. Queen Elle is in the Royal Bath.
Elle: My King! Join me in the royal bath...the water is EVER so nice.
Peter walks over and looks at the water.
Peter: Uh...What's wrong with the water? It looks odd.
Elle: It's actually Milk. From the Royal Cows...it's supposed to do wonders for the skin. I highly recommend that we retain our Royal Beauty.
Peter: Well...we are the two most beautiful people in the main cast...okay!
Peter strips his clothes off and slides into the bath.
Peter: EWWWWWW! What's wrong with this Milk?!
Elle: It's actually Cottage Cheese. Retained from the Royal Wal-Mart.
Peter: YUCK! Why would you bathe in Cottage Cheese!? Ewwwww, it's all curdly and gross!
Elle: I don't know!
Peter: Ugh! Where are the servants...some rats just made off with my clothes.
Elle: Rats made off with my clothes too! I think they're trying to start a business.
Peter: SERVAAAAAANTS!
Elle: Don't bother, they're not here.
Peter: What happened to the servants?!
Elle: They made fun of me for bathing in Cottage Cheese...so I had them all killed.
Peter: Well, that was a silly thing for you to do! What are we going to do now?!
Elle: Run like hell to the bed chambers?
Peter: Fine...hopefully nobody will notice. Let's be discreet.
Peter and Elle climb out of the bathroom and start sprinting toward the door.
SPLORK! SPLORK! SPLORK! SPLORK! SPLORK!
Elle: The cottage cheese is squishing between my toes! It's so gross!
Peter: Just keep running!
Elle: Where are the bed chambers?!
Peter: How should I know?! I usually have people carry me to my room.
The Action...
Niki takes off one of her eye brows and flings it. The projectile sticks in the neck of the guards patrolling the Cathedral.
Niki: Go, my Brave Knight!
Hiro: Yes, my Queen!
Hiro steals Niki's other eyebrow and takes off running.
Hiro (running away): FOR THE KINGDOM!
Niki: HEY, GIVE THAT BACK!
Bishop Nathan: You may have infiltrated my Cathedral. But the power of the Gods will give me the strength to strike you down.
Knight Hiro: You will die the most honorable of deaths, flying man!
Nathan: HAVE AT YOU!
Nathan takes off running in a diagonal direction, completely passing Hiro.
Hiro: Where are you going!?
Nathan: I'm the Bishop, I can only move diagonally. Can you do me a favor and move about seven steps to your right?
Hiro moves over. Nathan takes off running...missing him again.
Nathan: Crap...okay...move a little bit that way.
Hiro moves. Nathan runs and misses.
Nathan: Ugh...
Hiro: Hold on...let me move over here. Now go ahead.
Nathan runs over and stabs Hiro in the stomach with a knife.
Hiro: AHHH!...That was totally unexpected...
Hiro falls to the ground.
Noah: As the Brave Knight, I will avenge my friend...and Kingdom! (He points his sword at Claire, the Bishop)
Claire: Give me a break! All I have to fight with are these silly Incense Sticks...and boy do they stink...oh, I have my staff...there's something rattling on the inside.
Claire breaks open the top of her staff and M&M's fall out onto the floor.
Claire: What!?...What is this!? Is this staff filled with candy!? Who gave me this?!
Noah: Die, Cleric!
Noah takes two steps forward and one step to the side.
Claire: …...
Noah: …...
Claire: …...
Noah: This is stupid.
Noah throws his stuff to the ground and walks off set. Claire shoves a handful of M&M's in her mouth and makes a sour face.
Claire (mouth full): I don't think those are M&M's...
Claire spits in a nearby trash can. She picks up a candy wrapper.
Claire: W&W's!? Does this show even have any money!?
Choose a side...
Peter: This ends now!
Matt: Agreed!
Peter and Matt start moving very, very, VERY slowly towards each other.
Claire: UGH! This battle is going to take forever. I can see why this stupid feud lasted ten million years.
Nathan: Did anybody else see The King and Queen running naked through the Castle covered in cottage cheese or am I just crazy?
Claire: You're crazy.
Claire turns and immediately slips on a pool of cottage cheese.
Claire: Okay...I just broke something...I'm done! Can we go back to our stupid show now so I can unbreak my bones...?
CHECKMATE...Next Summer. Check your local listings for what Season you can catch the show.
Niki: IT'S NEXT SUMMER! What is wrong with you people!?
Claire is in the hospital, the Doctor walks in.
Doctor: Good Morning, Claire.
Claire: Aren't you the doctor who swapped Matt and Niki's faces? Are you even licensed to practice medicine?
Doctor: Of course. Now, we need to do something about those broken bones.
Claire: If I could just get back to my damn show this wouldn't be a problem.
Doctor: No, the studio covered it. To help you heal faster we brought in legendary R&B singer, Toni Braxton.
The lights cut off as the spotlight shines on Toni Braxton.
Toni Braxton (singing): Un-break Claire's boooones, say you'll love her agaaain. Undo this hurt that you caused when she slipped on the floor and walked out of her liiiiife...
The Doctor leans over to Claire.
Doctor: Now your show doesn't have any money.
Claire: Ugh...
She pulls the hospital sheets over her head.
Peter: Previously on Heroes...
Hiro (to Mohinder): I have to go out and make sure everyone made it out of the afterlife okay.
Matt is in prison.
Peter: What happened?
Matt: I don't know. All I remember is us being in the future. Then we came to this universe...and now I'm holding up a bank.
Claire (to Janice Parkman, now a Lawyer): Is there any way you can help us?
Janice: It would be a conflict of interest. So I can't. But I know someone who can.
Claire (to West Rosen): You're a Lawyer?!
West: Yup, fresh out of Lawyer school! I'll help you with your case.
Gavel bangs.
West: I can't help you with your case.
Hiro: I see that you're doing well for yourself, Bob. You have a Golden Hotel.
Mohinder: With ridiculous prices!
Bob: I can't say the same for Elle. She's become the leader of a biker gang.
Elle (to Hiro): Now that you're a part of the group. We're taking down my old man's hotel. We won't stand for his shady business practices.
Claire (to Tracy Strauss): So...what's going on here? What happened to Niki?
Niki (as Tracy's reflection in the mirror): Still here.
Tracy: There must have been some sort of mixup when you came here...now we're both the same person. We can switch bodies using mirrors, however.
Peter: Can you help us get Matt out of prison?
Tracy: I'll talk to the Mayor and see what we can do.
Claire: We need to get back to Texas to see what has my dad all in a huff.
The mysterious woman, Joanne, gets a message from Molly Walker. She pinpoints Sylar's location to Australia.
Joanne (on the phone): I need to book a flight.
Peter and Claire walk into the Bennet home.
Noah: Claire, I have some people I want you to meet.
He gives her an envelope with the picture of a teenage boy and girl.
Noah: They're your children, Claire.
Claire: …...
Peter, Claire, and Noah
Odessa, Texas
Hoooome, Hooome on the Maaaange...MANGE!? That can't be right. Someone page the writer's room. That HAS to be a typo.
Noah is sitting at the kitchen table. Claire is across from him, looking over the portfolios of her children.
Claire: This is nuts...I do not remember having children.
Peter: Well, Claire, you wouldn't. We came from a completely different timeline.
Sandra walks in.
Sandra: Oh, Claire, it's so nice to see you're not dead.
Claire: I really wish people would stop saying that.
Sandra: Peter, dear, can I get you some hot chocolate with marshmallows?
Peter: Can I actually just get a cup of marshmallows with a few drops of hot chocolate in it instead? A Reverse Hot Chocolate!
Sandra: Of course!
She walks away as Claire looks at Peter.
Peter: What? It's a thing!
Noah: Ok, just so I have this right. We were trying to rescue Claire from the Carnival...
Claire: I exposed our powers and ended the world...but for the greater good.
Peter: While that happened, the Universe needed to be reborn into a new universe. But it was stuck because we were still in the future timeline of the previous universe. Trying to stop Daniel Linderman's ancestor.
Noah: Uh huh...
Peter: Then we came back and the new universe was frozen. Which was due to a death loophole that Niki and Bob Bishop avoided since they were in the future with us at the time. Stuck in the afterlife, Hiro had to "death himself" with Mohindery Equipment to go into the afterlife and bring them back.
Noah: Uh huh...
Peter: Which was a successful mission, because the world is up and running again. But now there's some crazy woman after us.
Noah: Did she follow you here?
Claire: I...can't imagine. We teleported.
Peter: I don't know what her deal was. She blamed us for giving her son powers. Aw, I should have asked what they were. I could've had a new power.
Noah: Hmm. This can't be a coincidence. I can't take the risk if she's working for Erica...
Claire: Who's Erica?
Noah: Erica Kravid...a ruthless, cunning woman. Who is now my new boss. She bought out The Company and renamed it...The Kompany. Ick!
Peter and Claire look at each other, they shrug.
Noah: …..with a 'K'.
Peter and Claire: Oohhhhhhhh...okay.
Peter: Gross.
Noah: If she finds out that you're actually alive, she may use you for her own personal gain. I can't allow that.
Claire: If this woman sucks so much why are you working for her!?
Noah: Tracking and using people and their abilities for her top secret reasons...it's just sick. I take pride in my work. Long gone are the days I used to track and use people and their abilities for my top secret reasons. I'm not going to let this woman destroy my life's work. I'm going to find her weakness...and shut her down.
Claire: So...what does this have to do with my kids?
Noah: She knows they're your kids so who knows what she wants to do with them. I have to protect them the only way I know how...by sending them into the future to live with your mother (points to Peter).
Peter: My mother?! Oh no, she eats children! We have to go rescue them!
Noah: What...?
Claire: Peter, she doesn't do that...anymore...if what the Internet says is true. Wait...the future?!
Noah: Yes...after they were born and we thought you didn't make it through the pregnancy I knew their lives were immediately in danger. So I had Hiro take them 20 years into the future for them to grow up so I can bring them back. I mean, let's be serious. I don't want to clean up diapers. I paid my dues.
Claire: Wouldn't it make more sense if you sent them 20 years in the past so they'll be older now?
Noah: I...didn't think of that.
Peter: But how would they be older now if they're not in the same timeline when they...oh, and there's the nosebleed! These time travel plots always get me.
Peter grabs two Marshmallows and shove them up his nose.
Peter: There! Sweet relief!
Claire: Ew...Anyway, I wonder, would Hiro remember this?
Peter: Doubt it. He's been in both the future AND the afterlife. Coming here he probably doesn't remember doing this for Noah at all.
Claire: So we need to get back to Hiro.
Noah: No! In fact, I changed my mind. I can't have Erica's henchmen tracking you down, finding a time traveler, and following you to the future. We're better off leaving them there for now.
Claire: You can't make a huge deal about me having kids then tell me I can't see them. You were better off not telling me. And it's not like I'm going...to...forget...
Noah looks up from his phone.
Noah: I'm not texting anyone.
Claire: He's getting the Haitian! Peter! Teleport!
Claire grabs Peter's shirt and they teleport out of the house.
Noah: Hmph!
The Haitian walks into the kitchen, holding a mug.
Noah: Where were you?!
Haitian: I was coming...
The Haitian takes a sip of his Reverse Hot Chocolate. A few marshmallows stick to his face.
Noah: …...
The Haitian brushes them off.
Haitian: What?...It's a thing.
= = = = = = = = = =
(HEROES)
= = = = = = = = = =
Elle, Hiro, and Mohinder
The Golden Palace Hotel Resort And Pool Casino
The Casino is in the pool? That just sounds dangerous.
Elle makes her way down a hallway to the elevator. Hiro and Mohinder aren't far behind.
Hiro: Elle! What are you going to do? You're not going to kill Bob, are you?
Elle: What? No! I'm just going to talk some sense into him. Make him see to our demands.
Hiro: What are you demands?
Elle: Quit.
Mohinder: Oh, well, that's reasonable.
The elevator reaches the first floor. On the doors it reads:
Volume Eleven "Rebirth"
The doors open as Elle, Mohinder and Hiro get on the elevator. The doors close to read:
Chapter One "The New World"
Elle turns to Hiro and Mohinder.
Elle: Okay, we have some time to chat. Let me be the first to officially welcome you to The Elle's Angels. We don't take crap from anybody...unless we're robbing The Manure Plant...then we take all their crap. Get it? It's a thinking piece.
Mohinder: No, not really.
Hiro: Why would you steal manure...nevermind...Elle! This isn't you. Joining a gang, waving guns around, sporting a really cool blue bandana that I'm totally jealous of because I can never pull off something like that! You need to come back to the Light side of the Force!
Elle: I can't...not until I finish my unfinished business.
The elevator doors open and the three of them walk out. Bob Bishop is sitting at his desk.
Bob: Elle! How good it is to see you, my wonderful daughter.
Elle pulls out a gun and fires a bullet right between Bob's eyes.
Hiro and Mohinder: AHHHHHHH!
Hiro: ELLE?! WHAT THE CRAP!?
Elle: It's done.
Mohinder: But...but...b.b. ...what just happened!? You just shot your own father!
Elle: No...I didn't...
Elle walks over to Bob's body...she motions for Hiro and Mohinder to come over...they see someone completely different on the floor.
Hiro: Who is that?!
Elle: A ruthless shape shifter responsible for the deaths of many. After he started posing as my father...he was going to ruin his good name. I couldn't allow that...now that he's dead, I can get closer to finding who my father's murderer was.
Hiro: Okay...that makes...Wait...WHAT!? MURDERER?!
Elle: Yes...he was killed...I...couldn't stop it.
Hiro: But he was in the afterlife with us! Don't you remember?!
Elle: Sort of...it's still a little fuzzy...but it wasn't until we came back his fate was sealed.
Hiro: We haven't even been back for a day! Who could have killed him that quick?!
Elle: I intend to find out...
Elle stands up and flashes her badge.
Elle: Elle Bishop...Private Investigator. I've spent the past five years undercover working my way through the ranks to be the lead of the Elle's Angels in order to find my father's killer. Now I'm one step closer.
Hiro: We haven't been back that long! You died in the original timeline! Oh, I'm so frustrated.
Mohinder: It was still called 'Elle's Angels' before she became the leader? What are the odds of that?
Hiro: I think I'm going to throw up.
Peter and Claire arrive from their teleport. Nothing looks familiar.
Claire: Oh great...are we dead?!
Peter: No...I don't think we are...
Peter and Claire walk around, they find a gate leading to a house. Peter opens the gate.
Peter: Whoa...look at this nice house. It has a pool! I'm gonna go take a look.
Claire: Hey! What are you doing? You're breaking and entering!
Peter: I'm not in the house. It doesn't count.
Claire: Uh...yeah, it kinda does. You're on the property.
Peter: Let's talk to the proprietor and see who is right.
Peter walks off.
Claire: …..
Peter walks up to the house and stops dead in his tracks.
Peter: Uh...Claire?
Claire: What?
Peter: I think you should see this.
Claire walks up to Peter in the window, they see two teenagers inside playing table tennis.
Claire: Holy crap...that's them. I remember them from the folder. Those are my children, Peter! I don't know how to process this.
Peter: I can't believe it...I'm an Uncle.
Claire: Uh...you're already an Uncle.
Peter: Whose?
Claire: MINE! My dad is Nathan, you're his brother.
Peter: Oh yeah. Well, I'm looking forward to being their Uncle too.
Claire: You wouldn't be their Uncle. You'd be their...Grand Uncle...Super Uncle...Uncle Plus...I don't know, I'm not an Ancestry Wizard.
Peter: I should be an Ancestry Wizard.
Inside, Tommy just finishes his game of table tennis with Malina, totally destroying her.
Malina: This game is ridiculous. How are you supposed to hit a ball coming toward you that fast with these tiny paddles?
Tommy: Practice, dear sister. Gotta practice. You know, I was willing to let you slide with the excuse that you were distracted by the two weirdos gawking at us through the window.
Malina turns around to see Peter and Claire up against the window, fogging it up with their breaths.
Malina: …...is it too late to use that?
Tommy: Yep.
Malina: Crap.
They hear a voice coming from the other room.
Voice: Would you children like some tea?
Angela, who has aged quite a bit, enters the room carrying a tray of tea.
Claire: Peter, look! It's Angela!
Peter: It is!
Angela looks up, she drops the tray of tea.
Angela: AHHHH!
Peter: HI MA! (waves)
Claire covers her face.
Angela does a finger shaming gesture toward the two of them.
Peter (to Claire): Oh, you're going to get it now.
Claire: Ugh...
Back in the present. A confused looking man walks into Elle's Ice Cream Shoope Formerly Known As Elle's Angels Hideout.
Man: Shoope?!
The clerk working the stand, Emily, greets him.
Emily: Hi, welcome to Elle's Ice Cream Shoope Formerly Known As Elle's Angels Hideout! What can I get for you?
Man: Uh...What's a "Shoope"?
Emily: Oh...that's just a typo. I hope...
Man: Ah...are you Elle?
Emily: Oh...no...I'm Emily. Elle is out at the moment. We just opened our shop so we're still setting up things.
Man: I see...well...um...my name's Quentin...I was hoping to talk to Elle...
Emily: I'm sure she'll be back shortly. Why don't you have a seat?
Quentin: Sure!...Okay...
Quentin hops up to a seat.
Quentin: So...what kind of flavors do you have?
Emily: Flavors?
Quentin: Of...Ice...Cream?
Emily: Oh...this store is actually a front for a Private Investigation business...let me check in the back, see if we actually have any.
Emily walks off. Quentin looks confused.
Meanwhile at the airport. Joanne, the mysterious assassin, walks down the terminal. She looks around to see a red headed woman sitting down. She walks over and sits in the seat behind her, back to back.
Joanne: I wanted to thank you for your help. I don't like working for Erica Kravid...but if it will help me exact my revenge against those awful people and their special abilities. They ruined my family. And I will personally hunt every single one of them down. I'm looking forward to flying to Australia to hunt down this...Gabriel Gray...the infamous serial killer...I think we'll become fast friends...and he'll help me succeed in my mission.
Joanne looks over to see a different red headed woman waving over to her. Joanne hops up and walks around to the woman she was sitting behind.
Joanne: Oh!...I see you are NOT the woman I was meeting here. It appears I relayed to you some sensitive information. For that you must DIE!...But I don't have time to kill you, so I'm going to have to politely ask you to step in front of a bus. Please do this at your earliest convenience...goodbye.
Red Headed Woman: …...
Joanne (in the distance): Don't think I won't call the bus company to confirm if they ran over anyone today!
Red Headed Woman: …..!
Joanne makes her way over to a different Red Headed woman.
Joanne: Hello...Molly Walker.
A woman named Molly Walker who doesn't really look like Molly Walker looks up at her.
Molly: Hello...Joanne Collins...
Joanne: Thank you for your assistance in helping me track down Gabriel Gray. Here is your payment.
She hands her an envelope.
Joanne: And thank you for getting my attention, I almost handed a complete stranger money. I can't tell you how many times I've done that today...it's very annoying.
Molly: Here is the rest of the information on Gabriel Gray...AKA Sylar.
Joanne: Excellent.
Molly: Do you really think a guy with abilities is going to help you hunt down people with abilities?
Joanne: That's the beauty of Mister Gabriel Gray...he doesn't HAVE any abilities. He keeps losing them...which makes him the perfect candidate to being my partner.
Molly: What are you going to do if he refuses?
Joanne: I'll kill him, duh...
Molly: What is he going to get out of this?
Joanne: I'll play it by ear...hopefully we won't get to that point since I'll probably kill him anyway. Hahahahaha...
She walks off and into a boarding hallway.
Clerk: Um...maam! You can't go in there yet! The plane hasn't unboarded yet.
Joanne: I just made a dramatic exit. You honestly don't expect me to go back out there!
Clerk: Maam! You cannot go in there yet! You'll have to wait in the lobby.
Joanne: Oh, all right...rules are rules.
Joanne starts to follow the clerk, she reaches over and grabs a handful of fliers and flings them in the Clerk's face, then takes off running down the boarding hallway.
Clerk: ACK! MAAM! GET BACK HERE!
Back at The Bennet's Noah is stewing in the living room. Sandra brings him something to drink.
Sandra: Oh, Noah. You're so stressed...here, have a cup of Reverse Hot Chocolate.
Noah: Dammit, Sandra! That is not a thing! -sigh-...I don't know...I think I made a mistake even mentioning the twins to Claire...I think she's going to try to find a way to bring them back.
Sandra: We have a lot of people on our side, Noah. You can bring them back here and we'll find a way to protect them. She deserves to meet her kids.
Noah: I suppose...maybe I was too overprotective...okay...we'll try...
Noah gives Claire a call on her cell phone.
Operator: The number you have reached is no longer in service...well...it is in service...just not in the area...or anywhere near a cell tower...she must be really, really, really, really, really...
Noah: AHHHH! SHE'S ALREADY IN THE FUTURE! I have to stop her!
Sandra hands him a bag.
Sandra: Bring them back home, Noah...keep them safe. I've packed you thirty mugs filled with Reverse Hot Chocolate.
Noah: …..WHY!?
Sandra: I spent $700 dollars on marshmallows...I just went nuts at The Marshmallow Outlet...
Noah: I...what...I can't even...I have to get out of here...
Noah runs out the door. He runs back in.
Noah: What the HELL is a Marshmallow Outlet?!
Sandra: They sell Refurbished Marshmallows at discount prices.
Noah: What is a...no! Forget it! Leaving!
Noah slams the door.
Sandra pops a Marshmallow in her mouth. She immediately spits it out.
Sandra: Oh my, that tastes terrible.
Noah hops in his car, the Haitian is in the passenger seat.
Noah: Why are you in my car?
Haitian: I thought we were going somewhere 2 hours ago.
Noah: Oh...well...now we are! Buckle up!
Two random stage crew members, sitting in the back seat, lean forward and wrap their arms around The Haitian and Noah.
Noah: This...car doesn't have...non human seat belts...?
The Haitian: It is my understanding the show doesn't have any money.
Noah: I told them filming that ridiculous Chess Show in Ireland would bankrupt us!
Later, on the road.
Haitian: So...where are we headed?
Noah: I have to find Hiro Nakamura to take us into the future so I can stop Claire and Peter from doing anything rash. I would like to bring the twins back to the present time but I need to make sure we handle this carefully so Erica Kravid doesn't get her hands on them. But before we do that...I need to speak to someone.
Noah and The Haitian arrive at Mayor Angela Petrelli's office. Outside her door they see Matt Parkman manning the secretary desk.
Noah: Matt?
Matt: Hey, Noah!
Noah: Weren't you in prison?
Matt: Yup! They sprung me out. Now I'm back to work...Tracy is letting me be Angela's secretary. So you can go ahead and go right in.
Noah: Uh...thanks.
Noah and The Haitian walk in. The phone rings.
Matt: OOH! Phone! I've been practicing for this.
Matt puts on a wig and giant glasses.
Matt (with a nasally voice): Ghostbusters! What do ya want?
Niki (at home on the couch, on the line): What do YOU want? You've left me a thousand voice mails!
Matt: Oh, hey! It's you, I've been wanting you to call me back.
Niki: Uh...yeah, I figured that's what the voice mails were for. Besides...I'm Niki now...Tracy is back in the mirror so you're going to have to call some other time.
Matt: Oh, come on. I'm sure you know something about secretary-ing. I really want this to work.
Niki: Well, make is snappy, will ya? I'm trying to watch 'Scream Queens'!
Matt: Okay okay...I need to leave me a note...there are these things that you can like...stick the note...it sticks to the surface.
Niki: ….Post-It Notes?
Matt: YES! Those...where can I find those...?
Niki hears a knocking sound, she has a handheld mirror nearby. She lifts it up to see the reflection of Tracy.
Tracy (to Niki): Tell him the supplies are in the bottom right drawer.
Niki (to Matt): Bottom Right Drawer, Dumb Dumb.
Matt (on phone): It's locked.
Tracy (reflection): Oh, crap...I have the key...
Niki (to Matt): She has the key, Dumb Dumb.
Matt: AH...yeah...yup...
Tracy: Let me swing by and bring it to you.
Matt: Sweet.
Niki: Seriously?! I'm trying to watch my show...forget it, I already missed the first season and half of the second season, I don't even know who these characters are. I'll just watch...(flips through DVR)..."Pitch"! That looks interesting. Okay, you two go away now.
Tracy: Let's flip back and I'll set you up.
Niki: I guess.
Niki and Tracy switch body and reflection. Now in the house, Tracy props up the mirror facing the tv.
Tracy: There! Okay, I'll be right there.
Tracy leaves. The reflection of Niki is still watching the T.V.
Niki: Ah hell...I don't have a remote. Now I have to watch commercials. Puke.
Back at the Office.
Angela: THEY WHAT?!
Noah: They're in the future now, most likely with Malina and Tommy and Old You.
Angela: You don't have to classify me as "Old Me".
Noah: Well, it IS 20 years in the future. Technically we're all older.
Angela: Whatever. They can NOT bring those twins back here. It'll be utter chaos. Kravid has to be taken down before that can even remotely be a possibility. For their sake...and the world's.
Noah: You're right. So...where can I find them? Hiro Nakamura took them into the future, but I have no idea where he is.
Angela: We don't need him. Follow me. The Haitian must stay here to make sure nothing goes wrong.
Noah looks at The Haitian, who nods. He gets up and follow The Haitian.
Angela walks out.
Angela: Matt Parkman!? What are you doing here? I thought you were in Prison?
Matt: You sprung me out and now I work here.
Angela: That sounds like a very stupid thing I would do...but I don't have time to worry about it now. This way, Noah.
Angela and Noah take the elevator down.
Noah: So...are we planning on going into the future without a time traveler? Do you have a time machine or something?
The elevator doors open to reveal...A Time Machine.
Noah: Oh, I guess you do have a time machine...how?
Angela: I had it restored after Bob Bishop and I blew it up when we went on our road trip to my secret lake house in order to go into the future to stop Daniel Linderman's Ancestor.
Noah: Uh huh...
Angela: Here's the plan. We go into the Future...Chloroform our children and bring them back home so they'll stop putting the future of the human race in peril.
Noah: Chloroform is a little much, don't you think?
Angela: Ha...uh...no. The whining, the screaming, the hair pulling, the crying, the late night video blogging that would impact the following day's Cheerleader Tryouts...I don't want to deal with it.
Noah: Claire isn't THAT bad.
Angela: I was talking about Peter...let's roll.
Elle, Mohinder, and Hiro walk back into The Ice Cream Shoope.
Elle: Hey, Emily. Great first day...you're gonna do great here, kid.
Emily: Thanks, Elle!
Elle: Did I have any calls?
Emily: I have a Quentin Frady waiting in your office.
Elle: Ah, my Four O'clock. Great, hold my calls.
Emily looks around and doesn't see a phone.
Elle walks into her office followed by Hiro and Mohinder (who shuts the door).
Hiro: Uh...what happened to your gang? They were all over the place. Wasn't there someone named Barb? What happened to Barb!?
Elle: Oh, they cleared out and I converted the Ice Cream shop back into my Detective Agency.
Hiro: When did you do that?! We've been at the Hotel all day!
Hiro turns to Mohinder.
Hiro: Am I time traveling and not realizing it? Or am I going nuts?
Hiro looks over to see Mohinder eating Ice Cream.
Mohinder: I don't know what a "Shoope" is...but this Ice Cream is extraordinary.
Emily walks in.
Emily: Hey, Elle. Your Six O'clock had to postpone until next week.
Elle: Great, thanks Emily.
Emily looks at Mohinder.
Emily: Hey, where did you get that Ice Cream?
Mohinder: I...it didn't...come from here?...
Hiro: …...
Mohinder continues eating the Ice Cream.
Elle turns her attention back on...
Elle: Quentin, is it?
Quentin: Yes. How are you, Miss Bishop?
Elle laughs.
Elle: Oh, Quentin, my friend...no need to be so formal...you may address me as THE QUEEN.
Quentin: Oh okay...I'm much less nervous now.
Hiro gives Elle an awkward look.
Elle: I don't care if the skit is over, I'm running with it.
Hiro: Okay...
Hiro looks over at Mohinder.
Hiro: How and where did you get more Ice Cream...?
Elle: What can I help you with, Quentin? Oh, first, meet my associates, Hiro Nakamura and Dr. Professor Mohinder Suresh.
Mohinder: Not a lot of people say the full title, I respect her for remembering.
Hiro: We're not your associates, by the way!
Quentin: My sister is missing...and I have an idea who might have her.
Elle: A job well done...that'll be $7000 dollars.
Quentin: Wait! It's not that I need to locate her...I know where she is...I just need to get her back...I'm worried the person keeping her locked up might be using her.
Elle: And you want us to...
Quentin: Rescue...her?
Elle: Let me talk about it with my staff. She waves over Hiro and Mohinder to her.
Elle: What do you think, you guys? This may be our most dangerous mission yet.
Hiro: This is our first mission. And we don't work for you! You're fine and Bob is dead so I guess we can go home now!
Mohinder: I would love to research what this Ice Cream is made out of...it is fantastic.
Elle: Research all you want.
Mohinder: Then I'm on board.
Elle: Excellent!
She turns back to Quentin.
Elle (to Quentin): We'll take your case! Meet up with us tomorrow morning and we'll go over more details.
Quentin: Great! Thank you, Elle!
Quentin gets up and leaves.
Elle: One case at a time, boys. We'll make this world good again.
Hiro: Fine...but no more surprise job changes.
Emily walks back in.
Emily: Elle...your 5:30 is ready.
Elle: Great!
Elle hands Hiro and Mohinder two giant red noses and some rainbow wigs.
Elle: Now let's get out there and make this the best Children's Birthday Party ever!
Hiro: OH COME ON!...Maan...I don't like Clowns!
Hiro looks at Mohinder.
Hiro: Stop eating Ice Cream! You don't know where that came from!
Mohinder: Can't...too good...
Back at The Golden Hotel, the elevator doors open. Nathan walks out and over to the body of The Shape shifter.
Nathan: Interesting...another shape shifter.
He sees the 'Bob Bishop' name plate on the desk.
Nathan: Both pretending to be Bob Bishop...hmm...
Flashback to a group of police are investigating a murder. Nathan, dressed in a black overcoat, slyly makes his way over to the body. He walks along beside it, one hand out over the body. A faint glow leaves it as Nathan continues walking on, disappearing into the shadows.
He reaps the shape shifter's soul and leaves the room.
Meanwhile, At The Kompany.
Harris-Prime, Erica Kravid's bodyguard, makes his way down the hallway to her office. Harris-342 and Harris-23, his clones, are guarding the door, they let him in. Erica, sitting at her desk, slowly spins around.
Erica: What is it?
Harris-Prime: Petrelli and Bennet are off the grid...we believe they went into the future to obtain the children.
Erica: Do we have a year?
Harris-Prime: 2037.
Erica: I see. Is Molly Walker finished getting Joanne Collins on her flight?
Harris-Prime: Yes.
Erica: Then have her report back here. We have work to do.
Harris-Prime: Understood.
Harris-Prime leaves the office. Erica turns back around in her seat. She starts to lower to the ground.
Erica: A billion dollar company and I can't get a chair that works...typical.
To Be Continued