Author's Notes: Remind me to kill my girly personality. First ever attempt at Fruits Basket fan fiction. Second ever attempt at romance. Be patient, yeah? Also, everything I know about Japanese culture comes from select few mangas and one anime, so don't flame me too hard when I get something wrong.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the following: Setting, plot, characters, or ideas behind Fruits Basket. I do own a couple half-thought-out fan fictions and some bad fan art, but the same principle applies.

Summary: Kureno can't stop thinking about Uo-chan. Will he confront his feelings – and Uo-chan herself – before they drive him mad? Spoilers of books nine through thirteen.

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Get it together, Kureno. Stop thinking about her. Don't think about her. Not her smile, her laugh, the way she looks at me… No. Wrong. Looked, Kureno. Looked at you. Past tense. There is nothing between you and Uotani-san.

That doesn't mean there can't be.

Akito said no. Akito's word is law. You know that. She's nine years younger than you are! It would be wrong to have a relationship with her. Wrong, on so many levels that I don't even want to think about it. I'm a member of the Zodiac, for crying out loud. She doesn't need me in her life. And I don't want her in mine.

Except that, yes I do.

No. No. That's wrong. No. I don't want her in my life. She deserves better than you, Kureno. Pull yourself together! YOU HAVE NO FEELINGS FOR ARISA UOTANI.

If you don't have feelings for her, then why are you trying to convince yourself?

"Thinking in third person," Kureno Sohma muttered, rubbing his temples to stave off a headache. "I'm going mad. And I'm talking to myself, too." He heaved a sigh.

This isn't getting my work done. I have work to do. No, wait, that's right. Akito gave me the day off. Maybe a walk will help clear my mind. Maybe a trip to the convenience store. No, he corrected, scowling at himself. That would only start him thinking about Aris – Uotani-san again. And he couldn't afford that.

But, wait. That wasn't right. Honda-san had said… what was it? "She even changed where she works! Because she can't see you, Kureno-san, she's been really sad and lonely!" Yes, that was it. Still, he would go to the other part of town. She might not have been there, but his memories were.

"I'm going soft," he growled to himself, standing and walking out the door. He shoved his hands into his pockets. The other side of town. Yes, that's where his walk would be. The only problem now was, that route led through the part of the garden that he had spoken to Honda-san in.

Sad and lonely… I have been, too, come to think of it. Could she…? Could Uotani-san…? No. That's crazy. Stop thinking nonsense, Kureno. Get it together. You don't have feelings for her, and she doesn't have any for you.

Except I know that I do. And I know that I would be heartbroken if I never saw her again. More so if I did see her again.

Either way, I'm heartbroken. My life stinks sometimes. Of course it did. After all, he was a member of the Zodiac. The rooster, as it were. He was pretty much doomed to a life of misery and hurt, most of it at Akito's hands. He kicked at an empty can on the dirt path moodily.

I wonder where Uotani-san works now… Not that it matters.

He had some money in his pocket, though for what reason he didn't know. Enough for a meal. There was a new restaurant he'd heard about, a family place. Perhaps he'd go there. It was supposed to be pretty good. He exited the Sohma estate and started for the restaurant. It couldn't hurt.

His feet fell into the mindless rhythm of walking and his mind drifted to other things.

I remember the speech she gave me when I last saw her. She called herself stupid. But she isn't. Wasn't. She's not part of your life, Kureno. She never was. She never will be.

He wished he'd thought to bring a book. Then he wouldn't have to think about her anymore.

But I want to think about her. I can't lie in my own mind. She is a part of my life. A fairly big one, at that. I do have feelings for her – strong feelings, feelings that I hope she reciprocates.

Reciprocates. Big word. Nice.

She thought our meetings meant something. She was happy that she had met me. I was happy, too. But I didn't say it. And then she left, and she was wiping away tears. It felt awful, to watch her walking away and knowing that I had made her cry. What could I do but follow? A slight smile touched at his lips. She blushed when I told her I was happy, too. I think that might have been the first time I ever smiled – ever really smiled.

Kureno lifted his head and looked around. Vaguely, he recalled the name of the restaurant. It was on the other side of the street, on the corner. He looked both ways before crossing and entered the half-lit restaurant. He chose a small table in a corner and sat down and then picked up a napkin and toyed with it idly while he thought about what to order. Within a minute, a waitress had appeared. Like magic.

"Welcome, my name is Arisa and – " Kureno felt his eyes widen as he looked up with a start. He had come here to get away from her, from his thoughts of her – not like it was doing much, but that wasn't the point. And here she was, being his waitress. She had frozen at the sight of his face. "Kureno-san?"

"Uotani-san? I didn't know you worked here."

"You weren't supposed to." She scowled, looking angry, but at him or herself Kureno didn't know. "Why are you - ? I mean, I thought you didn't get much free time." He shrugged.

"Occasionally, I get a day off. All work and no breaks makes Kureno a lousy worker."

"You're awful."

"Thank you. Sit with me?" Uotani-san hesitated, then glanced over her shoulder. She looked back at him and shook her head firmly. Is it just me, or do I see regret in her eyes?

No, it can't be. I'm seeing things.

"I'd better not. I'm still working." She pursed her lips and then smiled apologetically. She looks kinda nervous, Kureno noted. She bit her lower lip in a way that made her much cuter, and he could see her slipping back into professional mode. Her voice had a falsely chipper note, obviously memorized. "Welcome. My name's Arisa and I'll be serving you today. Are you ready to order?"

"Uhm-hm," Kureno thought for a moment, then shrugged. "I'm not too hungry, so I guess I'll have the tororo soba." Uotani-san looks really good when she smiles…

Stop, Kureno. We've –

Who's we've! That's it. I'm going insane.

You've been over this before. You do not have feelings for this girl.

Uotani-san didn't seem to notice that his eyes had glazed slightly. She nodded and turned away.

Is it just my imagination again, or is she trying not to skip?

I don't have an imagination. She's definitely happy to see me.

It doesn't show… much. Kureno smiled and toyed with his napkin again. He'd gotten his wish, it seemed. He'd seen Uotani-san again, talked with her again. Now I can be happy. Now I can stop thinking about her so blasted much.

Except, no I can't.

Why? Why, why, why, why, why, why, WHY?

… It's really frustrating when I can't answer.

"Here's your tororo soba, Kureno-san," Uotani-san said in that falsely chipper professional waitress voice.

"Thank you, Uotani-chan." Kureno winced at his slip, but Uotani-san just smiled and nodded. She opened her mouth as if to say something, then shook her head and turned away, rushing to another table. Kureno watched after her until he noticed a few people staring. He ducked his head and ate in silence. He still had Uotani-san's address somewhere. Honda-san had given it to him.

But, no. I can't see her. I can't be with her. Can't, shouldn't, can't, don't want to. Can't… won't. Won't go to her house. Won't admit my feelings. Won't. Kureno smiled inwardly and nodded. That was a good word. Won't. He wouldn't ever admit his feelings for her again, not to himself, not to her, not to anyone. Not ever.

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"Akito. I hoped you might have an errand for me to run?"

It was the day after he'd seen Uotani-san. His resolve had broken. He had put Tohru's note into his pocket; if Akito let him out, he had promised himself that he would go to Uotani-san's house and come clean with her. She deserves to know, he reasoned, about my feelings, if not the curse. If she doesn't know about the curse, she might reject me more gently… But there was no such thing as a gentle rejection, he knew.

Akito tilted his head to one side, considering. He nodded. "If you want an errand that badly, you may deliver a message in Hatori's stead. Go to Shigure's house and remind the monster that his time is almost up, Kureno." Kureno bowed his head in respectful agreement.

Maybe I'll see Honda-san. It is the weekend, after all. Which is why I'm going today, come to think of it. I should thank her. But no. That's not important. I'll simply write a note and give it to the stupid dog. He'll yell it out for the whole world to hear. Yes. Good plan, that.

To: Kyo Sohma

From: Akito Sohma-sama

Subject: Time

Monster-

Your time is almost up. You cannot overcome your destiny.

-Akito

ks

There. That should do it. All nice and neat in memo form. I even remembered to put my initials at the bottom. Kureno finished the note as he neared Shigure's house and took a moment to compose himself. He knocked loudly and was greeted by hurried footsteps.

"Yes, hello," Honda-san said, sliding open the door. Her eyes lit up in that ditzy way that made Kureno want to gag. "Kureno-san! I wasn't expecting you! Please, come in, have some tea. Shigure-san's not here right n-"

"I have a message for Kyo," Kureno said, trying to remain as calm and cold as he had when he had first met her. He handed it over, getting a slightly blank look in response. "Please make sure it reaches him." He turned and walked away, leaving Honda-san still at the door. Kureno reached into his pocket and pulled out Uotani-san's address, glanced at it, then started for town again. Akito wouldn't know. He hoped.

It was a pretty long walk, but it could have been longer. His mind buzzed tirelessly, and it was starting to annoy him. He was grateful when he finally reached Uotani-san's door. He wondered why his heart was beating faster and took a calming breath before he knocked on the door. Again, he heard footsteps, thumping against the floor inside.

"Yeah, what is it?" asked a man older than he was, probably Uotani-san's father.

"I'd like to speak with Arisa, please." The man eyed him suspiciously, but turned away and called for Uotani-san. Kureno hoped that she'd forgive him for using her first name.

"ARISA! GET DOWN HERE! SOMEONE AT THE DOOR FOR YOU!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming already!" Uotani-san's voice yelled back. More footsteps. Kureno shoved his hands into his pockets. Uotani-san's father gave a dismissive grunt and retreated again, leaving the door open. Uotani-san appeared a moment later, saw him, and promptly assumed a surprised expression.

"Kureno-san! Why are you here?"

"Honda-san gave me your address. She pretty much begged me to come visit you."

"Yeah, that sounds just like Tohru…" She smiled, then looked at him curiously. "I thought you said you didn't get many days off." Hiro would be proud, Kureno thought as he looked down sheepishly.

"I might have sneaked out," he allowed. "Come with me." Uotani-san looked like she was about to protest, so Kureno grabbed her wrist and pulled her gently along. He set a fast pace, but made sure he wasn't running. There was a park nearby, he knew, albeit a small one. Uotani-san obviously knew where they were going because she sped up a little and walked beside him. He loosened his grip on her wrist and she slid her hand out, but not all the way. They ended up holding hands and trying not to look too awkward about it.

A bench sat under a large tree, near the entrance of the park but hidden from sight. Kureno sat down on it and Uotani-san sat beside him. He didn't give himself time to think.

He kissed her.

Conflicting emotions burned through his head, ranging from This is the stupidest thing I've ever done! to Why didn't I do this sooner?

He saw the surprise in her eyes, but she wasn't pulling away. He kissed her for a second or two more, then pulled away and looked at his hands, embarrassed but smiling. Neither of them spoke for a full minute. Kureno took a chance and glanced at Uotani-san. She was staring at her shoes with an expression of shock, her fingers resting lightly on her lips.

"Why?" she asked, looking at him with gleaming eyes. Kureno only had to think for a second or two before he knew the answer.

"Because I love you."

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Ending notes: Way too sappy for my tastes. Review if you liked it please.