***author's note- I haven't written fanfiction since 2001-2003, when I wrote LOTR and Harry Potter fanfic (both based off of the books, not the movies, as for one the movies were new at that point). This is the first fanfic I've written in 13 years, which is almost half of my life. My old stories are still on the site, albeit under a different name (being a professional adult opposed to a high school freshman/sophomore, I don't want to be directly connected to what/how I wrote as a much younger, different person writing in totally different fandoms. However, if you're really interested, PM me and I'll direct you to 14-15 year old me's writing***

Two for One

It was Friday morning and the sun coming into the bedroom window roused you. As it was September, you could guess it was about 7 a.m. This was your favorite part of the day. Since your job as a librarian didn't have you starting work until 10 a.m., you could enjoy waking up with the sunrise slowly, in a half-dream like state. With no alarms to abruptly wake you from your unconscious, you could keep your eyes closed for hours that felt like minutes. Being half-asleep was your favorite state of consciousness. Being awake had you anxious most of the day, usually from overthinking, and as a light sleeper, both falling asleep and staying asleep was difficult.

This particular morning, your sleepy mind thought back on how you ever ended up here, living with Rick Sanchez, an unlikely romantic partner for…well, anyone really, let alone someone half his age. You thought back to your first meeting.

You had just started at the university's library about six months, and despite still feeling like every day had you learning something new about your job, you were really settling into the position. Being a freelance writer in your spare time and an avid reader made a library a pretty inviting place to work. It was nice working at your alma mater as well.

That morning, you were cheerfully putting some books away when you heard a gruff, almost aggressive voice behind you.

"Hey. Hey you, the, the sexy librarian." You turn around. A tall, thin man with wild light blue hair, wearing a lab coat looks you up and down. "I'm trying to find some, some books on ast-astrophysics. Can you, you help me out?" You mirror the up and down glance he gave you. Normally, someone twice your age speaking to you this way would infuriate you. Yet, you found yourself strangely…attracted to this man. Instead of a frown, you find yourself smiling.

"Sure can, astrophysics is in the science section, which is on the second floor." You pause. "Want me to, um, come up there with you and point you in the right direction?" Normally, you'd just give patrons verbal directions. But for some weird reason, you wanted to spend more time with this man. Your friends always joked that you had a thing for older men, which was true…but never a man that, by his looks, was probably your father's age.

"Yeah, why, why not? Better than getting lost in this place with all these kids," referring to the students. Until that comment, you considered he might be a professor- he certainly looked the part.

"Guessing you're not faculty then?" you said as you lead him up the stairs and gave a small, nervous laugh.

"Hell, no!" he said with indignation. "School isn't a pl-place for, for smart people." He looked you over again. "Although I'm sure you probably went. What did you major in to end up here?" You couldn't tell if he was insulting you or not, but were just happy to be having a conversation with him.

"Philosophy," you said, hanging your head slightly. You didn't want to lie, but there probably weren't many answers more laughable to someone who already thought school was a waste of time. "And history," you added in a small voice. "Honors double major." Yeah, like that'd impress him.

"Hey, if you're going to, to waste your time in sch-school, may as well learn some, some, you know, critical th-thinking skills." As you got to the second floor, you instinctively starting walking to the physics section, albeit slower than your usual pace. The man continued, "and hey, at, at least you're not unemployed with that, that degree." He started laughing to himself. Nearing the section he needed, you stopped, which seemed to surprise him and had him stop in return.

"Listen, if you're going to ask me questions and make comments about my appearance, maybe we should at least be on a first-name basis. I'm-."

The man cut you off. smirking slightly. "I don't re-remember saying anything about, about your looks. Anyway, I'm Rick. Rick Sanchez, or as, as many know me, the smartest motherfucker in the galaxy."

"Well, Mr. Sanchez, I do recall your first words to me were addressing me as the sexy librarian? Ring a bell, or are you really that drunk you've forgotten what happened less than ten minutes ago?"

You raised an eyebrow and feigned annoyance, but secretly, you were flattered his first impression of you was that you were attractive. "Sexy librarian" was a common assessment of your looks, even from men you met at the bar that had no idea where you worked. In all honesty, it was a look you liked. You were tall and thin, almost as tall and not much thinner as this Rick character, with long blonde hair and, of course, glasses. Even when not working, your typical fashion choice was a cardigan over a tanktop with either a skirt or skinny jeans, depending on the season.

"Yeah, yeah, I remember that," he chuckled, with a full-on smirk on his face now. "I'll, I'll tell you, a secret." You looked puzzled. "I've seen you, seen you here working before. Most of the bo-books here are too elementary for, for my work. But it's, it's pretty easy to forge an ID saying I'm a pro-professor here, and once in aw-awhile, there's a book that I can use."

You look at Rick puzzled. What was he trying to say? He must have sensed the confusion on your face as he paused in thought and continued.

"I've had my eye on you for, for awhile. But you're, you're like half my age, so I had to you know, you know, gauge your reaction to me making an, an off-the, the-cuff remark. If you responded in, in, you know, disgust, I wo-would have known to, to back off." He took a moment to survey your face. Despite yourself, you couldn't help but smile. "But I, I don't think you were disgusted." Your widening grin gave away your response. "And, and I'll let you know another se-secret- I don't need any, any astro-whatever book. I needed to know you, well, how you, you, felt about…me."

"You're in luck, Mr. Sanchez. I'm into older men- and truth be told, there's something very interesting about you. I'm done work at 6. Want to meet for a drink after that? Surely you wouldn't turn down a drink, hmm?" You tried to be playful, as the man carried a flask and smelled of booze in the morning.

"Absolutely. Your coll-colleagues might find it odd if I pick you up in my, my space cruiser, so why don't I meet you here and we'll walk to a, a nice little pub five minutes from here?"

"Sounds good…Rick." A thought crossed your mind. "But then I won't be able to go home and change into something…sexier." Rick laughed at your concerned face.

"Nonsense. Part of, of, what makes you hot, aside from all the us-usual stuff, is that sexy librarian look you, you've got going. See you at 6." He kissed you discretely and walked back down to the main floor and left, leaving you stunned. He sure knew how to have an…effect on a woman.

Even though that memory was now several years old, it was still as fresh as if it were yesterday. After dating for a few years, and Morty and Summer away most of the time in college, Rick wasn't able to have adventures with his grandkids like he could when they were teenagers living at home. Your relationship with Rick was getting pretty serious, so under the circumstances, it seemed natural to move out of Beth and Jerry's house and get a place of your own. You already had your own apartment, but Rick would need space to do his work. You didn't question where Rick obtained his seemingly never-ending supply of money as you suspected the legality of many of his 'jobs' was questionable. But with your steady income and his likely ill-gotten funds, you settled into a small house. As Rick's only requirement was a garage for his workshop, finding a nice place for the two of you in a nice part of town was easily affordable.

Your mind roused a little more, still enjoying the sleepiness of the early morning, and felt Rick stroking your hair. You were a bit surprised, as he left late last night to "conduct business on Glapflap." You knew better than to ask questions, kissed him before he left and told him to be safe. You weren't sure when he'd be back and figured you wouldn't see him until you got home from work. This was a nice surprise.

You pretended to still be asleep as you enjoyed Rick's fingers running through your hair. He started kissing and nibbling on your neck, which made keeping up the rouse harder, but you feigned that you were 'dreaming' about Rick, letting out soft moans while keeping your eyes closed. His hands left your hair and began slowly tracing the outline of your stomach and thighs. As you customarily slept in a t-shirt and thong, there was a lot of skin exposed for him to tease. This was getting to be too much. You couldn't help but gasp as one of his fingers slipped under your thong and began slowly circling your clit. You moaned much loader, instinctively arching your torso with his touch. The same finger drifted inside you as he added a second, driving you mad with lust.

"You like that, don't you, babe?" he asked. But something felt off. It sounded like Rick- but didn't. You opened your eyes and looked at the man beside you. It was Rick- but not your Rick. This was the Rick your Rick had told you about during one of his many stories.

Your Rick was probably finishing up his "business" while you were lying in bed with Evil Rick. Not just lying in bed, but aroused by his touch. Evil Rick simply laughed as you must have looked as confused as you felt. Eyes now wide open, you didn't know what to make of all of this. Since he was a Rick, and you were mostly asleep, did you just cheat on the Rick you loved? How did Evil Rick enter your bedroom unnoticed? With a portal gun and a lot of stealth, you chided yourself mentally. But why?

"Hmm, she's figuring it out. Rick C-137 talks about you a lot. I couldn't help myself. I needed to see this intelligent, sexy young lady myself. You sure don't disappoint. Even seeing you first thing in the morning, I must say, I'm impressed." Should you feel complimented? He was right, you didn't have that drastic difference without makeup and styled hair than some women did. But what about your Rick? Was it wrong that your mind was drifting into a fantasy of having two Ricks at the same time?

"You, you shouldn't be here," you finally stammered. "My Rick could come back at any moment. And I love him. And he hates you." Evil Rick grinned as you said the last part and you wish you could have taken it back.

"I know he hates me, sweetie. That's what makes this so delicious. I love fucking with your precious Rick. I'm the only Rick that's any match for him. Sharing an intimate moment with the only woman he's ever loved- he'll be livid." He laughed a terrible laugh, which made you feel even more terrible for allowing your mind to continue your Rick/Evil Rick fantasy. Thank goodness Evil Rick had stopped fingering you when you realized who he really was, or he'd certainly notice that you were more aroused than furious. The only thing preventing you from fully enjoying the fantasy was the reality of how this would affect your Rick. Fantasies were just that, and you loved Rick C-137.

"Please leave. I have no idea how I'm going to explain this to my Rick. You really are Evil Rick." You got out of bed, and Evil Rick followed.

"I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. We're both locked in here until your Rick gets back." You reached for your nightstand. "And don't bother trying to use the portal gun Rick made you for emergencies. I disarmed it when you were actually asleep."

The conversation was interrupted by the sound and sight of a portal. Your stomach dropped. Your Rick had returned and now you had to deal with this mess of a situation. Rick stepped out of the portal, looking first at Evil Rick, than at you, than back at Evil Rick.

"What, what the HELL is going on here?" You had heard your Rick yell, but it was always in a lighthearted way, like to announce you were going out for ice cream. You had never heard him yell in anger and it terrified you.

"I'm just getting acquainted with your lady, C-137. You were right about her, she's a real babe. Easy to get going too." He spoke in a mockingly sweet tone, which made the lines of rage of your Rick's face deeper with each word.

"You better not have fucking touched her, you bastard," Rick spat out. Evil Rick's smirk made his next words all the more malicious.

"Only a little. She's got quite the figure to go along with that pretty face." He grinned devilishly. "I only got a quick feel, but wow, she's nice and tight inside…" Evil Rick was interrupted by your Rick lunging at him in an attempt to tackle him.

"You don't, you don't fucking talk about her that way!" Your Rick's face was red with rage as he took a knife from his lab coat and attempted to stab Evil Rick. Unfortunately, Evil Rick appeared to be physically stronger and intercepted your Rick, grabbing his wrist and quickly disarming him.

"You're not in control of what happens here, C-137. I know you hate that so much. I can say and do whatever I like and neither you nor your girl can do a damn thing about it. I know what I want to do, I'm just debating with myself if it's worth sharing it with you."

"I am you, you asshole!" your Rick screamed. "Why wouldn't you want to, to…share…so-something…with…" Rick's voice trailed off. Evil Rick grinned malevolently as he could tell your Rick had figured out why he was here.

"That's right, C-137. I was hoping I could have your girl to myself, but since you're here and all… maybe sharing with essentially myself isn't the worst thing. Based on how much she liked how I touched her, I don't think she'd complain." He flashed a look at you and you did your best to look stoic. However, like your Rick, Evil Rick wasn't easily fooled. "Yeah, just look at her. She's trying to hold back her excitement at having two Ricks at the same time. She did say she loved you, and I'm not trying to win her over like that. She loves C-137…but I think she'd enjoy fucking two Ricks at the same time."

Your Rick looked to you. You hung your head in shame. Evil Rick spoke the truth.

"Is…is that something you'd actually want? You'd, you'd actually…enjoy?" You couldn't tell if your Rick was hurt…or intrigued. This was a man who had fucked a hivemind, after all. Maybe he was into it as a one-time thing. You'd never experienced anything outside monogamy, and, as you justified to yourself, a threesome with your lover and one of his incarnations kind of blurred the line that what you were considering was technically non-monogamous.

"I mean…I don't know. I love you, Rick C-137. You're the Rick I fell in love with. But this Evil Rick…he essentially is you, right? Would having two Ricks at the same time actually be cheating? Would you feel differently about me? Can Evil Rick force us to do this regardless of how either of us feel?" Rick looked uncharacteristically contemplative while Evil Rick was mercifully silent, standing in the background.

"I, I don't know how I feel, babe. I mean, I've done some we-weird things in the past, but never, never with you." Your Rick looked over at Evil Rick. "I mean, do we, do we even have a ch-choice here? I don't see any escape plan- and I al-always, always have a plan."

"Well, that depends on how you define choice," Evil Rick laughed. He sure did laugh a lot, but without any mirth or joy. "You can choose how we, shall we say, share your girl. You can choose to just be a spectator and watch me and her fuck. But no, this is happening whether you like it or not."

Your Rick sighed in defeat. Even if he was into sharing you with one of his incarnations, you doubted his first choice would be Evil Rick. From what Evil Rick said previously, it also sounded that he had a different, more…intimate relationship with you than the women from his sexually sordid past.

"Fine." Your Rick looked at you with apologetic eyes. "Can you make it thr-through this, baby? I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have, shouldn't have gone out last night. It's my fault and I, I understand if you, you know, don't want… to be with, with… me anymore…"

"Stop apologizing," you said, cutting him off and grabbing his hand. "It's not your fault. Evil Rick would have pulled this shit one way or another. I wouldn't leave you for the world. As long as you don't think differently about me… I don't want you to see me as the woman who cheated on you."

Rick smiled slightly. "Well, it's hard to make the ar-argument that you, you cheated on me…with me." His smile grew a little. "Still you and me against the world?" he asked, entwining his fingers with yours.

"Always, my Rick. You'll always be my Rick." You kissed him passionately, embracing him around his waist in the way you knew he liked. Evil Rick made an exaggerated cough.

"Yeah, yeah, lovefest is over. So, C-137, how are we going to do this? Have her suck you off while I fuck her?"

"Hell no," Rick replied defiantly. "You said I had so-some choice, so there's, there's no way you're fucking my girl." He looked at you questioningly and, as you nodded in response, he continued, "you'll have the honor of getting your cock sucked by this beautiful woman while we have sex." You can't remember Rick ever sounding that coherent. You suspected he was trying to minimize what was about to happen.

"Fine, C-137. She does have three…"

"She is NOT having anal with you." Rick sounded more convicted in his words than he usually did. "She can't handle that. You know how us Ricks are…well…" he trailed off.

"Well-endowed?" Evil Rick smirked. "Fair enough. Let's get on with this."

Still in the t-shirt and thong you slept in, Evil Rick ordered you onto the bed.

"Take off that shirt. And get on your stomach," he ordered. You complied, awkwardly wiggling out of your shirt and throwing it into a corner of the bedroom. You didn't sense Evil Rick enjoyed playfulness the way your Rick did, so you immediately lied on your stomach as ordered, feeling a mix of being exposed and vulnerable. "Mmm, nice ass," Evil Rick continued approvingly. "Now get over there with her, C-137. I don't care how you take your clothes off, just get naked. Now."

You'd never seen your Rick look this defenseless. As you had, he complied with Evil Rick's orders. Evil Rick roughly moved your body so your face was hanging just off the bed, while he stood over you, still fully clothed. You looked behind you to see your Rick standing awkwardly behind you, clearly not knowing how to proceed.

"Come on, C-137, this certainly isn't your first time. Make this woman feel good like you normally would. The only difference is she'll be sucking me off while you do so," Evil Rick mocked. Your Rick began kissing your neck, whispering "I'm so sorry, baby," as he did so.

"Shut the fuck up, C-137!" Evil Rick spat, as began loosening his belt, letting his pants fall to the floor. "Warm her up a bit for me, will you? I've heard she's a good cock sucker so I don't want to be disappointed." Your Rick blushed slightly, knowing you now were aware of how he had described you to other Ricks. One day you'd reassure him you didn't mind, but kept silent out of fear that Evil Rick had a sadistic streak he could unleash at any moment.

Your Rick was kissing your body with a sensuality unusual of him. Sure, there were the few times you had made love in an intimate and gentle way, but sex with your Rick was often intense and rough. It didn't help that you both had a fondness for BDSM that made some nights downright weird. Rick was caressing your body like he would never see you again, kissing your lower back. You smiled as you knew that he knew that was your most erogenous zone. Evil Rick finished undressing his lower half, curiously leaving his shirt and jacket on. You knew his cock would be big- he was a Rick, after all- but seeing it hard and inches from your face was still intimidating. Even under duress, you still wanted to impress Evil Rick.

"Open your mouth. Now." Evil Rick commanded. As he did so, your Rick reached under you to rub your clit before he entered you. Evil Rick may have been a Rick, but only your Rick knew exactly how to get you wet with a few brief touches in a few key areas. As Evil Rick grabbed your hair and forced his cock in your open mouth, your Rick entered you from behind, eliciting a moan of delight around Evil Rick's cock.

You suspected Evil Rick liked it rough, so you skipped some of the teasing of the head of his cock that you would have done to your Rick and instead swirled your tongue around Evil Rick's shaft while taking him further and further into your mouth. You were used to deep throating your Rick, so you had no problem when Evil Rick grabbed your hair and forced himself down your throat, down to his balls. Although difficult to do, you thought you'd treat Evil Rick to a move you used often on your Rick- licking his balls with his cock stuffed in your mouth. It took you a few times with your Rick to perfect, but you almost considered it your signature move. As hoped, it produced a loud groan of desire.

"You weren't kidding about this little cocksucker. She's something else." Your Rick said nothing in response, concentrating on your pleasure. He was going to make you cum soon- and you doubted that Evil Rick would want you to cum before him. Time to get even more intense.

Taking Evil Rick's cock out of your mouth briefly to catch your breath, you took him in your mouth with as much force and suction as you could muster while letting your tongue dance around his shaft. By the way he was bucking his hips and grabbing your hair even more violently, you could tell he was close.

"Oh god….oh fuck…,' he panted. "I'm not ready….not ready…ughhhhh," he sighed as you swallowed the load of his cum, licking your lips with an evil smirk of you own. He collapsed in the recliner as you and your Rick were now free to enjoy each other. Sucking off Evil Rick had strangely turned you on and you could feel that both you and your Rick were nearing orgasm as well.

You looked back at your Rick as he fucked you hard but slow- your favorite rhythm- and lightly bit his collarbone, which you knew to be his most erogenous zone. He responded by lightly rubbing your lower back, bringing you both to climax- first you, then him as the contractions of your orgasm sent him over the edge. Rick fell onto the bed beside you, looking just as exhausted as you felt from the experience.

Your mind drifted into post-orgasmic bliss for a moment, until the reality of the situation came creeping back into your conscious. You just gave a blowjob to the evil incarnation of your long-term boyfriend, while your boyfriend fucked you at the same time. How were you supposed to feel about what transpired? Ashamed? Aroused? As Rick often said of life's questions, it was probably best not to think about it.

"Now, now, get the fuck out of here, Evil Rick," your Rick demanded, breaking the silence. "We had a deal, and now it's done. Get, get the fuck out." Evil Rick was in the process of putting his pants back on.

"Chill out, C-137, I'm not sticking around to watch you cuddle your girlfriend. I got what I wanted. Just let me get fucking dressed, okay?" Once he was again fully clothed, he turned to you and your Rick, still lying naked on your bed.

"She's a good one, C-137. Most Ricks either just fuck casually or, if they do," Evil Rick paused to scoff, "fall in love, the women are usually bitches. I don't like you, C-137, but the best advice I can give you is keep a hold of her. Most Ricks aren't so lucky." With that, he opened his jacket to reveal a well-concealed portal gun, explaining why he never removed his shirt or jacket, and stepped out of your bedroom.

After Evil Rick was gone, you cuddled against Rick. Your Rick. Surprisingly, he reciprocated, holding you tight.

"I…I don't know how to feel right now," you whispered. "I don't know how to process what just happened."

"Well, I suggest you call into work, as it's 9:00, you'd be late anyway, and I think we both need a day just for us. That, that was weird for me, too. I'm not used to fe-feeling this many emotions. How about we get cleaned up and make br-breakfast together?" You looked at Rick intently. He looked…relieved. You didn't know he could cook but suspected he was making an attempt at bonding after a strange, intense experience.

"How about we do," you replied, kissing him on the neck. You needed to brush your teeth before you'd feel comfortable kissing him proper. "I'll get the shower running."