A/N: Nico's School Idol Diary states that her father is deceased. I hope you enjoy and thanks for reading.
When Nico is young and thinks the world is huge, with her eyes wide as she takes in all the wonders, she can still recall this memory vividly. She remembers sitting atop the broad shoulders of her father, reaching out with her hand to the night sky, promising loudly in her childish voice that she'll be the brightest star. She recalls feeling the deep rumble of her father as he laughs and tells her that if she shines any brighter than she already is, she'll outshine the other stars in the sky.
When she is older, Nico will reach out towards the night sky when her siblings are asleep, think to herself that it's too dim and lonely, wonders if her papa would scold her for thinking that way. Several moments will pass and she will scold herself for him, telling herself that since her siblings will never experience being close to the stars by sitting atop the shoulders of her papa, she'll have to be the stars for them by shining even brighter next to them.
As a child, Nico is used to tripping flat on her face, used to scraping her knees and arms until they bleed. But her mama helps her up afterward, bandaging her and telling her not to be so rough on herself, buying ice cream for the both of them to share to stop her tears. Even though her body hurts, seeing her mama almost cry after telling her how worried she was for getting hurt, Nico shakes her head and smiles brightly for her, tells her mama not to worry about her.
When Nico is older and she trips again, she's on hard floor of the auditorium, skidding across the floor. Here, there are no scrapes and cuts along her body though the floor still hurts, somehow more painful than the rough concrete. There is no one here to help her so with her own two hands, she pushes herself up. She puts one foot ahead of the other, her steps echoing in the empty auditorium, and she turns to the seats, grabbing the lone mic that stands by itself, and smiles.
She continues to smile, even when all she sees are the backs of her classmates, a sight she is already long used to. She continues to smile, even when she goes back to the clubroom with the same number of recruitment fliers she started out with, now soggy from the rain.
She scowls, when she hears of the new idol group foolishly challenging her on her territory.
… they're not bad, she decides later, turning around to swipe at her eyes when she hears nothing but "Nico-nico-nii!" for the next few hours.
What grabs her attention though, is Maki Nishikino.
How couldn't she not notice her, when Maki is the last person to join an idol group, always frowning or looking like she doesn't have anything to be happy about. Nico is both jealous and not, jealous that a scowl actually looks good on her, not because even Nico has some things to smile about.
That curiosity turns to anger then, because despite how standoffish and aloof she plays herself as, her eyes, out of all of them, always looks the most bitter, like she is being caged.
Nico hates how she can easily recognize that look. Hates it so much that she pulls her aside one day and confronts her, because Nico is not about to waste another minute of her life thinking about how pathetic it looks on such a cute face.
"Have you ever had your future decided for you?" Maki only answers in a quiet voice, low and threatening, staring at Nico with those same eyes as she clenches her hands tightly into balls. And Nico understands it then, realizes that Maki is slowly shattering inside because she can't deceive herself any longer, can no longer believe in their lyrics of hopeful futures when she no longer has the strength to fight for hers.
So Nico asks her, looking straight into her eyes, "I've wanted to be an idol as long as I can remember. Do you think I'm successful at it?" Nico watches as Maki's expression becomes scrunched with confusion before she opens her mouth. Nico cuts her off. "Whatever your answer, I don't care." She pushes herself up, back straight, head held high. "Because I will never give up. I don't care if everyone laughs at me, because I'm going to keep doing it."
And when Maki widens her eyes, stares at her in utter disbelief, that's when Nico smirks at her, holding out her hand. "If you don't know, then just follow me. I'm only going to go ahead, with or without you," she only says, because she knows that for all her confidence, Maki doesn't have the courage to go forward. "But if you go with me, all you have to do is smile for Nico-nii, alright?"
"You…" Maki ducks her head and doesn't look at her, muttering. "Don't… go deciding these things by yourself," she finishes, breath shaky. Normally, something like that would rile Nico, but she remains patient today, still holding her hand out.
"Show me then," Maki says, voice still quiet as she brings her head up, violet eyes shining with the tears Maki thinks she is too weak to have, eyes that make Nico think that this is the side of Maki she should show more. "Show me, how far you're going to go, how far you're willing to go." And when Maki grabs her hand, Nico smiles for the both of them.
So Nico continues to forward, because backward is no longer an option (was never an option), reaching out with her other hand to chase the stars, holding Maki's hand. Sometimes she has to stop, has to make sure Maki is still watching her, has to remind her that the songs Maki makes are for everyone to listen to, and even though the smile Maki wears sometimes is troubled, she still tries and that's what Nico sees, uses to fuel the both of them further as she chases after the brilliance of the stars.
The worst part is when Nico trips, because Maki goes down with her as well. Maki grumbles and shakes her head as she pulls Nico up, but Nico only flashes her a smile and continues ahead, tugging on Maki's hand. Sometimes, she meets resistance from Maki, but never once does she ever tell Nico to stop.
But one time is different, as Nico feels fury burning inside this time, forcibly reminded that life can just as easily take from her, as she clenches her fists and glares at Honoka who speaks nothing but betrayal that cuts deep inside Nico, ashamed and furious that Honoka thinks so lightly of idols.
Maki is the one who has to stop her from going backward, hands grabbing her body this time instead of her hands, smiling painfully for her, reminding Nico that she is no longer facing forward. However much she wants to reach out past Maki to grab Honoka and yell at her until she understands, Nico turns around, back stiff as she walks ahead.
Somehow, Maki's smile begins to change afterward, she notices, no longer distanced politeness, something… soft now. Again, Maki will grab her shoulders but instead of shoving her away, she will turn Nico around and take her hand, wait for her to go forward again to lead the both of them.
So Nico goes, forward, the pull on her hand no longer a forceful tug from her to force Maki along. Nico goes, onward, with Maki's hand firm in her grasp as the two of them continue at the same pace for once. They go, ahead, even when the autumn winds begin to blow through the town, even when the truth of Super Idol Nico-nii is exposed to her siblings, even when the autumn winds disappear and the beautiful, white snow sets the stage for their Live, keeps going until… until…
Standing on the stage at Love Live is magnificent and more glorious than anything she's ever imagined in her wildest dreams. In fact, it is her dream to be here. Is her mama proud of her? Are her siblings excited for her? She hopes they all are, as she smiles so wide that she's sure her jaws will hurt the next day.
She keeps her eyes wide open, burns this memory into her mind, remembers that though she wanted to shine in the sky all by herself, she's sure that the nine of them, standing on this stage right now, are absolutely radiant, as the whole stadium smiles with them.
And that's when she finally gets it, as she looks at her friends next to her. When she goes to visit her papa later to tell him everything, she'll tell him that she also understands now.
But she doesn't forget the hand she's been holding onto this whole time, and she stops to look behind her. Maki's hand used to be so cold in the beginning, always clammy and unsure, with her hand holding hers like a clamp. Right now, it's the complete opposite, warm and steady and though her grip is still tight, it's much more relaxed, comfortable. When Nico looks up from their hands, Maki is watching her, expression soft.
"T-Thank you," she says as her face turns red and she can't meet Nico's eyes, "for… showing me… your determination, for… never giving up. For… everything, I guess," she finishes quietly. Maki looks at her then, violet eyes shiny, full of tears and gratitude, and smiles at her.
Nico is stunned for a moment at that beautiful smile, speechless. She huffs slightly as she answers. "O-of course! Nico-nii is here for everyone, including you!" Despite her words, her eyes are serious as she looks back at Maki.
Nico smiles at her and wishes she could forget that eventually, she'll have to let go of this hand.