Alright, so I actually had this story published a long time ago, but I deleted it because I didn't like it... and now... I am uploading it again... I apologize for its disappearence, but now it is back:D Please please please review and tell me how this is. That's pretty much teh reason why I deleted it the first time around: I thought it sucked total donkey butt:/ Anywho, it is now back. I have the next several chapters already written out on notebook paper too, so I promise not to discontinue this fic! I know its direction and all of that good stuff... I just lost faith in it... anywho... It's baaack~ Reviews are always lovely:)
Her Garden Full of Flower Buds
~*X*~
Prequel
She looks at the picture in her hand with tears in her eyes. A searing ache always burns inside her throat when she looks back on her past. All these years later, it's still hard for her to stare back at his dead onyx eyes. This was the man who had her heart for so many years and all he did was crush it. But still, she kept trying to win his heart over. She protected him in the forest of death, earning his respect. And again, after the chunnin exams when Gaara was about to attack him, she was willing to give her life for him. And what did he do but leave for power Orochimaru promised. Even after she had proved her love for him, he ignored her. That's when she began to note a new feeling inside that struck confusion in her. There was a small bud of hatred growing ferociously inside her.
"Hey," a soft voice calls, stepping in to the bedroom. It sits next to her on the bed, hand on her back. She looks into those lovely blue eyes that were always there for her. When the bud inside Sakura had bloomed, she recognized how she had been treating Naruto all these years. That's when she vowed to make amends and not to be like Sasuke who resented the ones who loved him. Sasuke was so ignorant, so lost and that's what incited the feeling inside her. She was ignorant just as he, in love with another one-track minded simpleton.
"I'm thinking about- the past," she begins slowly with a sigh, dropping the picture of Team 7 into the shoe box at her feet," and what could've been." A small stab of pain spears Naruto's heart. Is she still in love with Sasuke? He almost panics, but is soothed by reality. He looks at her with more strength in his sympathetic eyes. "Like, like if he hadn't gone to Orochimaru, where would we all be now? Or, or what if I hadn't- if I hadn't-" the tears begin to stream down her cheeks like the rain outside currently. Naruto catches her as she buries her face in his chest, sobbing. He doesn't say anything. There really isn't anything to say to make it better, Naruto knows. What happened can never be fixed or done over. The past is the past and they both know that. But it still hurts.
"Sakura, Sakura look-" he pulls her back and holds her face in his hands-" I love you. Focus on that. You can't change anything, but you can look to the future, think about us," he smiles and sweetly kisses the tip of her nose, "especially when we we're going to have a little one running around." They both smile, thinking of the children they wish to have. But the children are fantasies, never to be realized.
"Yeah," she says with a terrified smile. Naruto jumps up and begins to move around the room lively, talking excitedly about children and what they'd be like and teaching then things. Sakura's smile widens and becomes more real as her thoughts fall in to synchronicity with his. A new bud is inside of Sakura, except this time it grows more slowly. She's too scared of what she wants to even ponder it, but she has hope. She has hope for a better life. But she doesn't know it just yet. She's still only beginning to understand the motives of her past self.
"I can't wait for our first meeting with the kid tomorrow!" He smiles wide, chuckling with glee. Sakura smiles and then some sort of insane bravery overcomes her and she jumps up, crashing her lips upon Naruto's. He's shocked, but soon begins to take charge. "But what about-"
"I'm fine." She begins to slip her hand up the back of Naruto's black shirt.
"Are you sure?"
"Naruto, Sasuke may have ruined my chances of having a child, but he didn't ruin this," she pulls back with a half-pretend pouting face, "besides-" she whines "- we're married. It's perfectly fine for us to get… say, frisky?" She laughs with a sly smile and begins to kiss Naruto again, pulling his shirt up over his head. He moans softly as her kisses trail down his perfectly toned chest, down to the button of his pants.
~*X*~
The next morning Sakura wakes up with her arms wrapped tightly around Naruto. She snuggles deeper in to the snoring chest of her beloved, tracing circles and all sorts of designs over his stomach. Humming quietly to herself she starts thinking about Sasuke again. Lately, thoughts of him have been occurring more and more frequently. A subtle terror sets over her she's only known once; the terror of the loss of a life. The first time is wasn't her own life and again this time it isn't. But once her thoughts speed up to full strength, her body stills completely, eyes wide she sucks in her breath. No. No, no, no! She shouts inside her head. She raises her head up to look at Naruto's peaceful expression. Is this a genjutsu? Is she still fighting Sasuke? Could this all be genjutsu? If this is genjutsu and none of it is real, what will she do? If she's back in that fight she remembers physical and emotional hell, then what- And then her mind is flooded with the memory of the battle with Sasuke. She could still be in that forest, having both lives inside her snuffed out. She feels Sasuke's katana slither inside her lower abdomen like the snake it is. It cuts in to her internal feminine organs, through her interior muscle sending a fire up her back that she's never known. Sakura, in the present, clutches her stomach and falls to the floor, shouting. Sakura kicks the bed, gritting her teeth. Naruto is sent flying as the bed crashes in to the wall. She can feel the baby inside her dieing, feeling the life of it being cast in to the afterlife. Naruto at first is holding a kunai, in stance, but as soon as he sees Sakura writhing on the floor the knife falls to his feet- blade gouging in to the wood, hilt straight up- he jumps over to her, pulling her naked person in to his lap. Naruto summons a clone for a split second to throw him one of the sheets from the bed and wraps it around Sakura with a hard expression. The clone disappears in a silent cloud of smoke.
"I felt her die," she sobs, "I felt Kina die." Naruto simply holds her to his chest. It's all my fault, he chastises himself. I knew Sakura wasn't ready for it yet. Naruto blames himself for agreeing to make love with her the previous night. He feels more angry with himself right now than with Sasuke, which must mean Naruto is the most wicked person on this earth, for Naruto hates Sasuke with something so deep the depths of his emotions breech the outer boundaries of hell itself. Sasuke slaughtered his love and his child. What more could a beloved friend, brother, have done to create such a level of rage? Nothing, Naruto nods to himself, nothing at all could fix what Sasuke broke. Nothing at all could surpass his evilness. He kisses Sakura's forehead and soothes her back to a tearful sleep. Standing up, delicate cherry blossom in his arms, he somberly carries her to the bed and sets her on it gently. He creates a clone to leave behind to comfort the sleeping Sakura and leaves with a quiet stealth.
~*X*~
"Sasuke," Naruto greets as he reaches the site of Sasuke's grave. Staring with dead blue eyes, Naruto watches the curtain of slowly moving rain wash across the trees around him and then finally drown him. Eyes wandering aimlessly across the grave marker, he's lost in thought. It rained just like this when I found them, Naruto recalls. It rained just like this when I thought I lost them both. He feels something burning behind his eyes. Letting the tears fall, he grits his teeth. "Why? Why, Teme? WHY?" Naruto shouts angrily at the inanimate stone. "WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO IT? Did you really want to be like Itachi that badly?" Naruto falls to his knees, beating the muddy ground with his fist. "You broke her, Teme. Why? She loved you with everything she had! She was willing to give her life to save you a million times over!And then you go and do that." He laughs at himself, but it's drowned out by the reckoning thunder overhead. Slowly, Naruto stands to his feet and dusts the loose mud from his orange pants. He smiles faintly to the grave and the rotting body beneath, "do you know how much I hate you for it?" Naruto turns and quickly runs home to find Sakura hugging the snoring clone. He lets the fake Naruto continue to sleep and decides to take a hot shower. Yawning, he runs his hands through his sleek blonde hair. Less than a few minutes later, the water is off and he's stepping out of the bathroom in black and orange boxers, finding Sakura slipping on a white bra.
"Hey there, sleepy-head," Naruto smiles and wraps his arms around her almost perfectly smooth stomach. It's all perfect except for the ugly reminder of a scar Sasuke left that she'll never bare kids, "sleep well?" He kisses her neck just below her ear. She laughs lightly and turns to kiss Naruto's cheek.
"I'm sorry about the bed. I didn't men-"
"Sakura," Naruto shakes his head, then resolutely, "I love you." They smile and kiss softly. Then, she steps from his arms to pull on a pink tank top. She's wearing a black skirt and her classic knee-high boots.
"I love you, too," she finally says and wraps her arms around his neck, "ready to meet her?" Sakura refers to the meeting with a newborn baby girl today. Her glowing smile is back, Naruto mirroring it. An excited euphoria enters him as he quickly dresses in a black shirt with orange shorts. Sakura pulls her hair up in the back with senbon and parts her hair to the right. Naruto pulls her into his arms and teleports them to the hospital.
"Let's name him Naruto Jr.!" Naruto shouts excitedly as they enter the building hand in hand. The rain barely hits them, now down to a soft drizzle.
"Naruto, no! It's a girl!" Sakura playfully hits Naruto as they walk up to the main desk.
"So." Naruto folds his arms stubbornly across his chest.
"I think we wait until we see the child." Sakura's voice is final ash she turns to the smiling woman. "Hi, we're the Uzumakis." The receptionist nods her head, typing things into her computer. Naruto kisses Sakura's cheek, holding her protectively to his side. Sasuke may have ruined her chances of having a biological child, but he can't keep us from adoption. Sakura looks up at Naruto and smiles, leaning her head on his shoulder as the receptionist leads them down a hallway. The hallway that leads the giddy couple to their first meeting with a precious baby.
~*X*~
Disclaimer: ok, YES I soooo created Naruto. NO! I absolutely did not, why do I have to do this again?