"Magnus… I…" Alec stuttered, pulling back from the sudden kiss, his stunning blue eyes unable to meet Magnus'.
"Don't." Magnus interrupted him, a dull blue flame flickering profusely at his fingertips, growing bigger and brighter with each breath he took.
"Magnus, come on. This isn't easy for me. Do you know how many Shadowhunters there are out there that openly have relationships with Shadowhunters of the same sex? No? Of course you don't! Do you know why? Because they're in hiding, Magnus! They're in hiding because the Clave frowns upon it! So can you imagine the reaction if they were to find out a Shadowhunter of the highly respected Lightwood family was gay, and not only that but he was in a relationship with one of the highest warlock's there is? You'd be banished from Brooklyn, my parents would have their roles as protectors of the Institute revoked and I would most likely be disowned!" Alec exclaimed.
The warlock sighed, the flames temporarily extinguishing as he poured himself a glass of what appeared to be whiskey. It wasn't the first time this argument had occurred, and every time Magnus had hoped it would be the last. However, it had never gotten so heated as quickly as it had this time. Sure, over his four centuries of life he'd had endless lovers – it wasn't hard to attract attention when you were exceptionally good looking, all powerful and don't look a day over nineteen, consequently proving that you can, in fact, be nineteen forever – but none of them had meant anything. Not in the way Alec Lightwood did, from the moment Magnus had met the tall, dark haired boy he had felt the sparks. It was magic, but not the magic Magnus was used to, it was stronger than that, the kind that couldn't be drawn as a simple rune on the surface of someone's skin. No, this magic ran deeper than the surface, it came from the heart. It was love.
"You know the rules –"
"Follow your head, not your heart. Emotions are bad for Shadowhunters they cause you to be blind, so why not shut them off and just be dead inside? You people walk around all high and mighty with your faded runes, but your lack of emotion makes you worse than the Forsaken!" Magnus interjected viscously, the flames returning to his fingertips, stronger now.
"You don't mean that. You know I care for you Magnus, but I have been given my rules, I know my duties, to my family, to other Shadowhunters and to the Clave. I can't jepeordise that," Alec said quietly.
In his head he was screaming at himself to tell Magnus the truth, tell him that he loved him, but the words wouldn't come. He'd spent so long battling with his feelings for Jace and hiding them, convincing himself that he didn't have feelings for boys that it was far too much of a risk to bring it all up to Magnus and allow it all to fall apart.
"Can't, or won't Alec? You say you've been given your rules, but the only person I see setting them for you is yourself! You spend every day protecting people. Protecting Clary for Jace, protecting the Mortal Cup from Valentine, helping your parents protect the Institute. What are you going to do when Clary is safe and her and Jace no longer need you, when Valentine is no longer a threat, when the Institute no longer needs protecting? You'll have nobody Alec, because you stuck to your rules. Break your own rules god damn, for love of all things mundane live a little, you're not going to live forever!" Magnus shouted, exasperated, running his hands through his hair and turning to face Alec.
Alec looked up, taking in the sight of Magnus standing before him, tears glistening on his cheeks, the sparkle gone from his eyes. The warlock was right, for so long Alec had done everything according to the rules for the benefit of everybody else. Not once had he done something solely for himself.
"Screw the rules," He said, taking a deep breath. "I don't want to live forever. We might not have that much time. I'll get old and I'll die, but I promise you I won't leave you until then Magnus Bane. To hell with the Clave if they don't like it!"
Magnus smiled.
"Oh Alec, you really are the light of my life,"
"And that, Magnus, is why you are the bane of mine,"