2371 – An AU P/C story. "All Good Things" still happened as is, with the addition that Ro Laren didn't join the Maquis. She was on board during Q's last meddling with the Enterprise. Q still shows Picard he's going to marry Beverly in the future, and they still share a kiss in his ready room. Pacifica story happens shortly after "All Good Things." Ro Laren's perspective is the first chapter. Haven't decided if I'll write the other perspectives just yet. Another arc I needed to explore. I am working on the other stories, this is just how my brain has been working lately. I had been reading mabb's excellent work, and had a visceral reaction to the idea of Ro and Picard, not a good one. Her stories are so well written, and this pairing really stuck with me, because it was such an authentic idea – straight from the actors' performances.
A little justification from a die-hard P/C girl. Picard was always the one in control with Jenice, Vash, and Nella. He set the parameters of those relationships from the beginning. The only one that came close to being a threat to Beverly was Nella, simply because she was on board and he was breaking his fraternization rule. He's a man used to getting what he wants, and controlling situations. For the first six years on board the Enterprise, he thought he shouldn't be with Beverly and so he wasn't. It's pretty clear from "We'll Always Have Paris" that Bev was into it. And even Deanna knew what was between them. But he was the senior officer, and he was the one who would have to make the concession to get involved romantically. Once he'd made the decision to stay away from Beverly, I don't think he spent a lot of time thinking about breaking that decision. The guy has no rearview mirror. And after the way he treated Nella, it's no wonder Beverly thought they should be afraid! Picard had somewhat resolved his feelings about getting involved with a subordinate after Kesprytt, but Beverly wasn't about to comply. So, he's a dude, with hurt feelings. Rather than actually talk to Beverly about it and use his skills of diplomacy to work through their problem and ask her about her fears, he gives up and takes what he can get. Misapplying an interest in Beverly to another hard-headed woman of temper and character who often doesn't follow regulation and comes from a troubled past. Beverly, Ro, and Guinan – the only women who really get under Picard's skin. Hell, he was still the one in control with Anij, years later. Our favorite captain is an expert in many things – just not matters of the heart. Like many, many other men. That's what makes angsty-romance-y stories fun to think about (rant complete).
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Ro Laren stepped into Ten Forward to seek out Guinan's counsel. She knew that something wasn't right, but she just couldn't put her finger on it. Unfortunately, this seemed to be one of those times when Guinan wasn't being her ever-present and ever-knowing self. Laren ordered a cup of Deka Tea and retreated to one of the corner tables to look out the viewport, which was often her habit when she wanted a good pout. Most everyone in Ten Forward knew that look on her face and knew to stay out of Lieutenant Ro Laren's way when she wanted a good self-pitying pout.
The tea wasn't doing its job. She was still somewhat chilled from Data's push into the freezing waters of the holodeck at Worf's promotion "ceremony". But that had been close to two days ago. And since then, it had been pretty clear to Laren, that all was not well with her universe. Something wasn't right, not at all.
Maybe she should go to sickbay for the chill? She knew she wasn't fun to be around on her best days, and a Bajoran with head cold was even more fun. But sickbay reminded her of Beverly and she couldn't stomach the recriminating looks from the sickbay staff today. Not that any of them knew the true reason for their beloved boss's transfer. But, every now and then she'd catch a considering look from the acting-CMO Dr. Selar, and a little more guilt would settle into Ro Laren's bones. Most of the circumstances of her life had been forced upon her, and she lived with very little guilt about the course her life had taken. So chose to avoid the guilt, and decided that she really hated Vulcans sometimes.
It had been about a year since she and Jean-Luc had become lovers. Truly, she hadn't meant for it to happen any more than he had. She knew he hadn't meant for anything to come from their clear mutual attraction, because he'd told her so. He'd told her of his long held reservations about shipboard romances and being involved with a subordinate. He told her all about Nella Darren, and ordering a beloved into harms way. He didn't need to tell her he'd really been trying to explain about Beverly. They never talked about Beverly.
Their affair had started innocently enough. As soon as she'd returned from the mission near the Hugora Nebula, having betrayed the Maquis, she'd sought out her captain to give him a piece of her mind. How dare he doubt her loyalty and send Riker along! She didn't need a babysitter. Never had and never would. He had been the one to betray her! Hadn't she proven her loyalty enough already?! He hadn't been in his ready room or on the bridge, and searching for him on the ship had intensified her anger. She finally cornered him in his quarters. She'd never been in his quarters before and she'd never seen him in his pajamas before. And all thoughts of yelling evaporated as she saw the look in his eye. Anger, passion, and desire were written all over him. Years of tension sizzled between them and she'd just gone with instinct. Like she usually did. The instinct Starfleet had tried to drum out of her. It wasn't her fault, damn it. She rushed him and kissed him passionately. He kissed her back and her next cognizant thoughts came hours later lying next to him in his bed as he slept. He was good. And after only one night, she knew he was the best lover she'd ever had.
A few months passed, and they found time to be together when they could. It wasn't her fault they couldn't keep their hands off each other. But they were always discreet, both believing no one on board knew what was going on. Even Q hadn't realized, as Jean-Luc told her she hadn't been included in Q's vision for his future. They'd been honest with each other what they felt wasn't love, but the simple companionship they'd both been seeking. It wasn't her fault or his fault they were both lonely.
Then came the floods of Pacifica and the morning Beverly found out.
It was a lazy mistake. She admitted that. A small, lazy mistake. Laren couldn't be blamed for such a tiny slip up. She had only wanted to sleep, and he had apparently let her. She hadn't left his quarters before the end of the gamma shift, like she usually did most mornings. She'd awoken to the sounds of two people arguing, and she froze in his bed, not wanting to move a muscle in case her actions were noticed by the woman in the other room. The bedroom door was closed, but Beverly's voice carried easily. Something about the evacuation of Pacifica taking too long. He wouldn't dare order her a day's rest, she'd rest when the evacuation was complete, thank you very much. Not enough of the ship's resources and personnel being used to look for survivors. Too much time spent looking for the terrorists that destroyed the weather nets and were still causing the tremors on the surface. All Ro caught from Picard was an exasperated, "Beverly, I don't know what you want from me!"
It sounded like a doozy of a fight. There had been rumors about the doctor's red-hot temper that Ro Laren hadn't believed. She'd always found Beverly to be a caring, soothing, and understanding woman. A defender of her patients. A true healer and not a typical Starfleet bureaucrat at all. But Ro believed the rumors now, and pitied Jean-Luc just a little bit. She stifled a giggle at the thought. Poor man who has to deal with the tempers of Ro Laren AND Beverly Crusher. When the coast was clear, Jean-Luc returned to the bedroom, sighing slightly as he sat down on the bed beside her lying form. Caressing her bare shoulder, he apologized for the rude awakening. She shrugged it off telling him she assumed such things came with the captain's job description. It wasn't his fault she'd reassured him, kissing him soundly, driving thoughts of the argument from his mind.
They'd slept together one more time before she'd snuck out of his quarters, quickly grabbing her Bajoran earring off his desk where she'd left it the night before. She blamed him for her distraction at the morning briefing. She fiddled with her earring in remembrance of their morning interlude, while listening to Dr. Crusher's orders to the away teams as they gathered in the observation lounge before beaming down to Pacifica for the day. Crusher had caught her distracted gaze, and Ro had to look away when she realized she'd been daydreaming. "Still with us, Lieutenant Ro?" the doctor queried.
Crusher had been leading the various evacuation teams for the past five days the Enterprise had been orbiting Pacifica. Lieutenant Ro had to hand it to the doctor. She must have won the argument that morning. As there were now six evacuation teams instead of the three. The woman worked fast. Dr. Crusher was now arguing with Will Riker, and the first-officer was losing. Looking carefully at the doctor, Ro could see Riker was right. Jean-Luc had been right. Dr. Crusher looked exhausted, and the angrier she became, the more her fatigue became obvious. Everyone in the observation lounge could see the woman needed a break, but no one would dare risk pointing that out.
Riker dismissed the teams in order to continue their argument in private. Not that the closed doors did anything to muffle Beverly's angry words. "The Captain has entrusted the evacuation and treatment of survivors to ME, Will Riker. I'm not going to let him or the people of Pacifica down. Time is running out, and I'm beaming down with the away teams in half an hour. Nothing short of Jean-Luc Picard dragging me to my quarters and locking the door is going to stop me." Then the doors to the observation lounge whooshed open and Dr. Crusher caught her. "Lieutenant Ro," she acknowledged. "Eavesdropping twice in one day. Somehow, I didn't think that was your style." It would have taken a Pakled to mistake her meaning. And Ro realized her mistake. The earring.
The doctor's words haunted her now. Beverly was a friend, but there had been nothing friendly about her tone that morning. The doctor had nerve. What she'd been doing with Jean-Luc had nothing to do with him and Beverly! There was no reason for jealousy. Jean-Luc loved Beverly. Everyone knew that. It wasn't Ro Laren's fault they'd never gotten it together. But Laren regretted she'd never been able to clear things up with Beverly.
"Enterprise to away teams, this is the Captain. Status report?"
"Enterprise this is Doctor Crusher. Teams One, Two, Three, and Four are wrapping up in their sectors. They'll be beaming back up shortly with Data, Riker, Worf, and Ro. I'll stay down here with teams Five and Six. The three extra teams did the trick, Captain. We should be done with our canvass by 1900, barring any difficulties." It was hard not to miss the satisfaction in her voice.
"Excellent, Doctor. Sensors are reading slight seismic activity in your vicinity. Keep aware and keep the comm link open until all teams are back on board. I'm ordering a transporter lock on all of you. Picard, out."
"Doctor Crusher, this is Lieutenant Ro. Team Two is ready for transport."
"Data to Crusher. Team One ready for transport."
"Riker to Crusher. Team Four ready for transport."
"Worf to Crusher. Team Three ready for transport."
"Thank you, all. Good work today from everybody. Crusher out."
As her team prepared to depart and she felt the pull of the transporter begin, Ro felt the first tremor. She materialized in the transporter room, looking into the smiling eyes of her lover. Snapped out of the moment, she touched her communicator. "Ro to Crusher. Team Two is back on the Enterprise, all accounted for. Felt a tremor, everything OK down there?"
There was no response from the surface.
"Picard to away teams Five and Six. Report." The captain chimed in.
No reply. "Picard to bridge. What is the status of the remaining away teams?"
"Captain, there's been a sharp increase in seismic activity near the city, Dr. Crusher, and Team Six. It also appears that another weather grid has been bombed. Rain and wind are interfering with all communication. Attempting to re-establish contact," replied Data.
"Keep informed, Mr. Data. Team Five, this is the captain. Status Report."
"Captain, this is Lieutenant Lavelle. Team Five is stable and all are accounted for. That tremor was a doozy. We felt it all the way over here. We've finished our canvass and all survivors have been evacuated. Ready for transport."
"Thank you, Lavelle. Picard, out." He locked eyes with Laren. "Now we wait," he sighed.
Four hours later, there still had been no word from Team Six. Jean-Luc was holding vigil on the bridge along with Riker, Troi, Worf, and Ro. Geordi and Data were in engineering attempting to fix the weather net. Two more hours, and finally Data's voice resounded in the near-silent bridge. "Captain, the weather net has been repaired. There are five life signs, very faint, near the away team's last known location. Unable to determine their identities or establish communication. Water has most likely damaged their communicators. But we have been able to establish a transporter lock."
"Excellent work Mr. Data, Mr. LaForge. Beam the away team directly to sickbay. Now. Picard, out."
"Number One, I'll be in sickbay."
Ro heard what happened next from one of the other members of Team Six, days later. By that time, Dr. Crusher had left the Enterprise. She never talked about Pacifica with Jean-Luc.
Ro had been sharing drinks with a few other lieutenants in Ten Forward. She was trying very hard not to pump Lieutenant Johnson for information. Luckily, Johnson had missed the class at the Academy about tact, gossip, and senior officers. "Nobody won the pool, that's for sure. After they'd been kidnapped and forced to spend all that time together on Kesprytt, I thought for sure it was only a matter of time. But the way she ordered him out of her sickbay! Whooo-ee, no one is winning that pool."
"But what happened, Johnson? Why was she yelling at him?" pushed Ro.
"He was cheating on her! They'd been together all this time, right under our noses, and he was stepping out on her. Never thought the captain was an idiot. If I had a hot number like the doctor in my bed, I wouldn't be wandering! Should've known he'd get caught. Women like the doc, always find out."
"Start at the beginning. What actually happened?!" Ro asked again.
"Soon after the tremors started on the planet, there was a tidal wave. Communication was down and we'd lost contact with the doc. Most of the team made it to higher ground, but you know how the doc is, always absorbed in her tricorder readings. When the water went down, we found her wedged under a fallen beam and it didn't look like she was breathing. I'd barely gotten her out when the transporter caught us and we were beamed right to sickbay. The next minute, we were all standing around while Dr. Selar tried to stabilize her. I don't know a lot medicine, but I know what those machines were beeping. The doc was dead, or near it. She was blue like an Andorian. And then the doc choked and sputtered and sat up quickly on the biobed. It was spooky, like a corpse raised from the dead in a holofilm.
Then she locked eyes on the captain, and he went to her side and grabbed her hand, all romantic-like. He and Dr. Selar tried to get her to breathe calmly and lie back down, but she wasn't having any of it. She shrugged away from him and told him to go back to the bridge. He tried to object, and it was like something snapped. If her eyes had been phasers, the captain would be dead. Don't know where she got the energy to shove him away, and then she started going on about some other woman's jewelry in his quarters. Another notch on his bedpost. Go comfort her, she said, and the doc sure didn't need him or anyone else. And then she ordered him out of sickbay to let the doctors do their work! Knew the doc was going to be ok then."
"Well, maybe we're all better off with her off the ship? Temper like that in a CMO, can't be good for morale, right?" Ro queried as she tugged on her earring.
"Come off it, Ro. Everyone knows Crusher was the best doc in Starfleet. I'm going to miss her. She was coming off a five day rescue mission with almost no sleep, her boyfriend was cheating on her, and she'd almost died. What would you have done?" piped in Lieutenant Hartley.
"I don't know. Stayed to fight for my man?"
"I think all the yelling was the doc's way of informing the captain that he was no longer her man!" chortled Johnson. "The Enterprise's loss, and the medical fleet's gain, I guess. Surprised she was able to get a transfer that quickly. Surprised the Captain let her go without a fight."
Hartley pointed, "Look at Counselor Troi over there. That's her second sundae today. I saw her having one at lunchtime too. She's taking it hard. And Riker's too busy wondering whether or not to promote Selar, find a new CMO, or keep trying to get Dr. Crusher to come back. I heard it was Riker that kept her from resigning from Starfleet altogether. He found her the transfer, in the hopes she'd reconsider or eventually come back. Like that time she was at Starfleet Medical. Alyssa says that was a miserable year. The Captain had nothing to do with it."
"The doc won't come back until 'the other woman' is off the ship, is my bet. I wonder who she is …" whispered Johnson.
No one ever found out who the other woman was, for which Ro was glad. That could have made life on board even more awkward. And now a year later, the affair was well over. Ro was trying to be big about it. And not take it hard that Jean-Luc just ended things without any emotion or the scene she'd been expecting since Crusher left the ship. Ro was actually surprised the affair lasted as long as it had, doesn't mean she wasn't a little sad about it. She'd tried to get Jean-Luc alone to talk about them, but he avoided her. And now that she was the one leading the gamma shift, they rarely interacted beyond nods and status reports.
The affair had ended the morning the Enterprise returned to Caldos for Beverly's funeral. Since learning of Beverly's death, they'd spent every night together. She was glad to be a comfort to Jean-Luc. That was something she could do. She was used to being strong and she'd resolved to be strong for him as he worked through this. But then came the funeral, and Lieutenant Ro found out she wasn't as smart as she thought she was. Everyone did know. Everyone knew she was the reason Dr. Crusher had left her friends and the safety of the Enterprise. She'd been the Captain's fling.
Not one person, even Data, spoke to her at the funeral. But they looked at her. And they whispered. And they pointed. She'd overheard a few sickbay nurses' indignation over the fact she'd be so insensitive to Beverly's friends to even attend. She'd returned their speculative glances with glares of her own, holding her head high and proud. It wasn't her fault, couldn't they all see that? Wesley had been the worst. Until he'd shown up at the funeral, Ro had forgotten about Wesley. Jean-Luc hadn't spoken of the boy to her, and she'd been caught up in comforting her lover.
The memorial service itself had been uneventful. Deanna gave the eulogy. Lwaxanna Troi had arranged for a Federation honor guard. Riker, LaForge, Data, Barclay, Worf, and Picard served as pallbearers. Jean-Luc read something from an Earth writer called Shakespeare. Alyssa Ogawa's little boy sang a song for auntie Bev. The funeral was so different from any Bajoran rites, that Ro thought to herself it was all rather sentimental with everyone feeling sorry for themselves.
It was afterwards, at the graveside, when Wesley's anger was unleashed. He'd said every word speaking to Jean-Luc, but looking in Laren's eyes. Soon the young man raised his voice in anger, speaking the words almost every mourner felt. "I left her, knowing she was safe. I knew you would keep her safe. Man to man, wasn't that UNDERSTOOD? I mean, I wouldn't have left my mother, the only person I had left in this universe, if I hadn't trusted you and known how much she loved you. One minute she's on the Enterprise and the next she's stationed on Betazed being blown up in some science lab at a Federation embassy! Why in the world would she leave you and her sickbay? What did you do?"
The graveyard was silent, as everyone strained to hear Jean-Luc's soft reply. He glanced in the direction Wesley had been looking, grimacing when he saw her staring back at them. "Wesley, it was what I didn't do. What I didn't do to keep her close. And I will suffer for my inaction the rest of my life."
"Coward," was the last word Wesley Crusher spoke to the Captain of the Enterprise. And then the boy vanished. Most of the mourners returned to the ship, while their captain stayed planetside. Ro tried to follow him, but the woods around the church disoriented her. She eventually found him at a small cottage surrounded by a bedraggled herb garden. He was sitting in the dirt, in his dress uniform, pulling weeds. He'd heard her coming.
"Laren. You are the last person I want to see right now. Go back to the ship." That was the last time Laren and Jean-Luc had been alone together. He'd avoided her ever since and reset the security lock on his quarters to bar her automatic entry. The months since had been more awkward than she'd imagined they'd be. Geordi would have a drink with her in Ten Forward every now and then. Guinan, when she was on board, was still speaking to her. But besides working hours, her life on board had become very isolated. It had been that way before the end of the affair, she admitted. But she'd been so caught up in Jean-Luc, she hadn't noticed. Oh, how she wanted to scream at them all, "It wasn't my fault the doctor went and got herself blow up! It was just sex!"
And now Geordi had been kidnapped and they were warping their way to the Veridian system, for who knows why. There was a whisper of fabric as Ro felt Guinan sit down beside her.
"We're going to Veridian to save Geordi and over 230 million other people."
"Guinan. You startled me. You missed Worf's promotion ceremony."
"There were other things that needed doing. Now, I'm needed here."
"Did you know how I was feeling? That something just isn't feeling right?"
"No, Laren. I did not return for you. But, you are correct. Something is wrong. It is not as it is supposed to be."
"What can we do to fix it?"
"Nothing. There is nothing that can be done now to reset the course, after the choices that were made."
"Guinan, it wasn't my fault."
"We only tell ourselves it isn't our fault, when there is an abundance of evidence to the contrary. Arguing with oneself is often an exercise in futility."
"Guinan …"
And then the Enterprise shook with the impact of a heavy volley torpedo attack, and the red alert claxon lit up the ship.
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