Hey! This is a Peeta's perspective. It takes place after the before the epilogue. This is before "Those Blue Eyes" you will see why. I would actually recommend reading those blue eyes (my other story) before you read this because of references I will make! I hope you like it leave me a review and sorry if I get some facts wrong I have not been through these things so it may not seem right or timing may be off. And I had to google a lot and my dad kinda got freaked out when he looked over my shoulder to see what i was searching (hint hint) RATED T THIS CHAPTER IS RATED T please review. Here it is! Thanks. Also The Layout may be weird! I uploaded it and it was all funky so it may be harder to read my apologies but next chapter it should go back to normal! :D love and kisses mwaaa…
I wake up to find she's not there. She's been acting strange for at least two months. It's been three years since the rebellion. Since we grew back together. We got married last year even though i'm pretty sure know one but me and her knows. Maybe Haymitch would if he still wasn't intoxicating himself. Not like I mind since it gives Katniss and I more time to be together without having a sober Haymitch burst in the house whenever he feels lonely.
I wonder why she's been ignoring me lately. She won't let me hug and kiss her or even be within a two foot radius. She's gone in the mornings and returning around dinner time still pushing me away. I debate wether or not I should find her but soon enough i'm digging through my closet for a jacket. She has to be in the woods. Even after three years things are still slowly returning. My bakery was finished only a couple of months ago, Haymitch and I practically lived there until I felt the old normalcy return. Katniss spent a lot of her time there too helping out with little things. I could tell she would of rather been in the woods but she knew the episodes were coming more frequently and she's probably the only one who can bring me out of them.
I walk out the door and begin heading for the meadow. When I get there I spot the place where the woods begin and make my way to old fence. They haven't bothered to take it down due to wild animals but they have turned off the electricity and added gates in various places to get in and out. Pushing the gate open i'm completely lost for a minute before I find the tiny path that has formed from her visiting so frequently. I always lose myself in the beauty of it. I can hear that Panem is free a million times but I still can never feel freedom as strongly as here. I keep walking for about another five minutes and pray she's at the spot and hasn't decided to wander. I say a silent thank you when I see her sitting on a log with her back turned out towards nothing.
I can tell she knows i'm hear because she's sitting up a little straighter with her head turned slightly towards the left. Its a habit she has ever since the first games when she went deaf in that ear. She has great hearing, even thought it's probably not that hard to hear my stomping feet from miles away. I approach her nervously and sit beside her.
"Hey," I mutter, trying not to make eye contact just in case. "You weren't there when I woke up, thought'd just come find you."
"I was restless,wanted to get some air that's all." I can tell she's hiding something and it's killing me not to know. I want to ask her a million questions but I settle with just one.
"Why have you been acting strange." This time I look into her eyes trying to find a reaction. They widen in what looks like shock and guilt before she adverts her gaze to her feet. I sit for a minute and begin to grow anxious and think she may just not answer at all when she speaks up.
"Just... cause." I stare at her trying to comprehend. She's playing with the end of her braid nervously and her eyes are darting around. Katniss is always good at hiding her emotions from me but I can tell she's absolutely freaked out about something.
I'm about to try and console her when she blurts, "I haven't told you something. I-I can't talk about it here." Her eyes begin to fill with tears and I immediately reassure her we can talk about it when we get home. We get up and begin to walk back.
She's walking at a brisk pace and I practically have to run to keep up. She never slows down until were about a minute away from our house in the victors village. When we got married she decided it'd be easier just to bring a couple things over to my house instead of going back and forth. It was easier for me to have her around so I didn't mind at all. In fact I practically begged her. She refuses to look at me and keeps her distance.
By the time we get home she's in a full on panic attack so I make her sit down and go to the kitchen to find her water. When I return with the water she seems to relax a little and I sit down and look at her expectantly waiting for her to tell what she's been keeping from me.
Katniss notices and starts inhaling deeply. "Do we have any ice cream?" She asks. I look at her to see if she's kidding but she seems pretty serious. She's been hiding her need for ice cream? I blink trying to clear my head of the confusion. "Um... I don't know. I can go get some if you want. Is that what you needed to tell me?" She bursts out laughing at my question.
I take the moment to relax and laugh lightly to, i'm not entirely sure whats so funny but it just brings me so much joy to see her smile. "Not exactly, but can you. N-not right now but when you go." She says. She's nervous again and I nod and wait longer. Then she shifts her body to face me and I can tell she's absolutely serious. "I've been having these weird cravings lately for different things..." She tells me. I can see theres a hidden meaning in it and I think I know when I try and move in for a kiss but she jumps back.
"N-NOT THAT! I mean yes that, but I meant food and things. Stuff like that." She looks at me again trying to see if I am understanding what she's saying but the only thing I can register is a slight feeling of rejection. My wife chooses food over me. It much show across my face because her expression softens and she grabs my hand. "Peeta, you're not understanding. God, how do I explain this! Uh... these appetites just come randomly. I've also been hungrier and more tired or more restless. I keep having headaches... understand what i'm trying to say?" she asks.
I say the first thing that pops into my head. "Katniss love why didn't you tell me? If your sick we should go see a doctor." I say and tuck her stray hairs behind her ear but she pushes me away and groans in frustration. "I've been feeling faint and having stomach cramps! I have been moody and sick in the mornings." She takes my hand and puts it on her stomach, "Understand?" and this time I do.
At first I can't even function. I try to say something or think something but it just all comes up a blank. Then I get a extremely giddy feeling which soon turns to suspicion. "Your... You serious? Really? Are you kidding!" I'm pretty sure i'm grinning like a idiot but at this point I don't care. I've been dreaming of this since I was twelve. Growing up and marrying her. Having a family. I never thought it would happen because Katniss made it very clear she didn't want children. I was just happy that I could at least have her but I knew sooner or later I would result to begging and pushing and pleading until she gave in. I only ever had made a few implications but now...
"No, I'm pregnant. I wish I was kidding." She mumbles the last part probably thinking I couldn't hear. This does not surprise me, in fact I had already expected this and it doesn't even diminish my excitement a tiny bit. It explains everything in fact, her pulling away, not letting me touch her,not having... alone time. "Katniss were having a baby! I can't believe it! We're starting a family! You have to call your mother and Haymitch an-and we need to-", "Please put me down!" She gasps and only then do I realize i'm twirling her around the living room. I apologize and set her down only to pull her into my arms and kiss her over and over again.
I keep telling her I love her until I'm gasping for breath. When I look at her I can she's happy for me... but thats what catches my attention. Shes happy for me. Not us. I hug her closer me. "It's going to be okay Katniss trust me. I know the idea is new and scary to you but we'll get though this. Just you wait and see." I run my fingers through her hair soothingly as she begins to cry. "I'm not scared Peeta, i'm t-terrified." She sobs into my chest and this completely shocks me.
Katniss showing vulnerability is like someone having a lion as a house cat. Those things just don't happen. I sit down on the couch with her in my arms and rocks her. I listen as she tells me why she's terrified and I can't blame her. Katniss had her mind set on being alone ever since she was a young girl. She never planned on having boyfriends, marrying, and absolutely said children were out of the equation. I always somewhat admired that trait about her. Her biggest fear was her child being taken and killed and knowing there was nothing she could do about that, her solution to that problem was to not have kids. I was never strong like that. I was always very selfish when it came to family and children but after the rebellion it no longer mattered as much to me as it still does to Katniss.
"The rebellion is over Katniss. She'll be alright, how can she not? She'll have the best mother ever." I tell her as I rock her. She looks up at through her teary eyes questioningly. "She? H-how do you now it's a she?" The question takes me of guard. I didn't realize I had actually said that part out loud. The simple truth is I always wanted a girl. A little girl who's hair Katniss could braid. A little girl that would look up at me and smile like Katniss. A little girl who could sing like Katniss. A little girl who would would be outgoing and funny. "Oh, I didn't realize... it'll be alright. Just trust me." I say as I think about her. I can already feel it's going to be a girl. A baby girl.
My little flower.