Disclaimer: I don't own Castle or its characters ... pity.
"Martha – that was… wonderful." Kate raised her glass in Martha's direction and toasted the air before leaning back in her seat and letting the wine coat her insides with delicious warmth.
"Truly … one of a kind, Mother," Rick echoed, exchanging a knowing grin with Kate and Alexis.
"Thank you, thank you." Martha gave a dramatic, mock stage bow and grabbed the empty salad bowl with an emotive flourish. "C'mon, kiddo," she nudged Alexis with her hip. "Help me clear the table."
When Kate stood to offer her own assistance, Martha stopped her by placing her free hand against Kate's shoulder. "I am trying to give you two some alone," she murmured in a voice that carried only to the detective's ears and no further. When Kate raised startled eyes to hers, the older woman added, "To make up for my intrusion earlier. At the bank."
She smiled shyly, unable to stop the automatic reflex, and nodded in understanding. Pivoting on her heel, she caught Castle's curious gaze and felt a rosy blush creep across her cheeks. "Feel up to a walk?"
He responded to her question with an easy grin, barely concealing his glee that she wasn't retreating to her apartment just yet. "For you, Beckett? Anytime."
"After all," he continued as he held her coat while she shrugged her arms into the sleeves. "Maybe – with my luck today – I'll be mauled by a rabid fan and you'll have the chance to save my life and even the score."
"I'm still not convinced that you're ahead."
Martha leaned her shoulder against the wall and listened with a sappy smile as the door closed behind her son and the woman he loved. She knew that Richard thought her too flighty to understand such things, but there was no mistaking the look on Kate's face when she had knelt in front of him to free him from his bonds. It had been relief, joy, and love – plain and simple. And then, in horror, she'd heard herself reminding Kate that Richard wasn't the only one in the room, effectively dumping a bucket of cold water on the situation. She was chalking it up to the trauma of the day, and she couldn't promise that it wouldn't ever happen again… but she could make darn well sure that it wouldn't happen tonight.
"Grams? Earth to Martha…"
Alexis' voice startled her from her reverie, and she turned to her granddaughter, blinking some stray tears from her eyes. "Sorry, darling. I was just thinking about the day." Putting an arm around the girl's shoulders, she led her back to the kitchen. "Alexis, dear, let me tell you a story with a happy ending…"
"I really don't think that one counts."
Castle looked at her, clutching his heart as though wounded, the boyish twist to his lips revealing his amusement. "How can rescuing you from a burning apartment not count as saving your life?"
Kate shrugged, letting her shoulder brush casually against his as they strolled lazily down the street. "I could have gotten out on my own. Probably."
He hooted a laugh and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Probably? Probably you could have gotten out on your own. So why didn't you?"
"Because you came along. You didn't give me enough time."
He could have kept arguing with her, could have driven the point into the ground. But he didn't. He knew he'd saved her life that night. He knew she knew he'd saved her life that night.
"Okay, so if… if… I give you your 'probably could have saved my own life even though I didn't' scenario, that makes us even."
She stopped on the sidewalk and turned to meet his warm gaze with her own. "I guess it does."
Her smile nearly buckled his knees, and he let his back rest against the storefront wall behind him to regain his footing. She stayed rooted to the spot, her eyes flitting to everything but him, and he could see the wheels turning in her head. When she finally spoke, he felt as though she had just punched him in the gut.
"Castle… Rick … I need you."
Punched in the gut. In a good way. The best way.
"Excuse me?" It vaguely occurred to him that he'd echoed her own words from this morning when he'd been on the phone with her. Was that really only this morning? It felt like a lifetime ago.
"You told me this morning – on the phone – to tell you that I need you." She looked away from the couple she'd been following with her eyes, turned the hazel depths to him and let her mouth melt into a watery smile. Shrugging, her hands in her pockets, she managed to add, "I need you."
So many responses swirled through his brain, but when he opened his mouth, none of them engaged. Instead, he heard himself saying, "Oh. I didn't mean – this morning, I meant did we have a case. I didn't mean —."
Her eyes narrowed, and he cursed himself as the shutters went firmly back into place. Reaching out a hand, he tugged one set of fingers free from her coat and laced them together with his. "But I like how you mean it."
Tears spilled over her cheeks, and he lifted his other hand to swipe the moisture away with his thumb. "Hey," he murmured. "What's all this?"
She laughed around the emotion and shook her head. "When I saw you in the bank – when I went in as the EMT – there was so much I wanted to say. And I couldn't say any of it. At least not with words."
Nodding, he squeezed her hand. "When I felt your hand on mine, that slight tremble you had, it hit me hard," he admitted. "I'm not used to you being scared for me. It's supposed to be the other way around."
"You were great today," she told him, pride in his actions lighting her entire face. "Without you, we wouldn't have known about the safe deposit box, we wouldn't have known about the C-4, and we probably would have lost a lot of the hostages if they'd panicked. You kept it together and showed a lot of bravery."
His heart swelled at her praise and he relished the rare feeling for a few moments before speaking again. "Hmmm…" he mused, his eyes twinkling, his lips pursing enough to make those distracting dimples appear. "So, what you're saying is that I saved my own life today?"
"What?"
He grinned at her indignant outburst and swung their clasped fingers lightly at his side. "Admit it, Detective. I'm still ahead in the 'who's saved who more' scorecard."
Rolling her eyes, Kate grinned and came to lean against the bricks next to him, tucking her hand in the crook of his elbow and breathing in the comforting scent of his cologne. They stayed that way for a while, content in the closeness they shared, watching the city lights and the pedestrians that passed by their alcove. Rick was the first to break the silence.
"I'd like to discuss this 'you need me' business some more. Unless it's one of those things we're not talking about – like the kiss, the freezer, the cemetery."
She smiled in resignation, a freedom filling her soul that made her want to abandon the wall. Angling her body to face him, she saw her smile wash over him and she drew a deep breath. "The kiss – a taste of amazing."
His eyes widened in shock, but she kept going. It felt like nothing would shut her up now that she'd started. "The freezer – I can't think of anyone's arms I'd rather die in than yours."
Rick's grip on her hand tightened, and her jaw flexed and tensed as she struggled to go back to that day in the cemetery. "Same goes for the day I was shot." Squaring her shoulders, she looked him directly in the eye, hers pleading with him to understand her next admission. "I lied before. I do remember what you said to me that day."
His stunned silence sent the words spilling from her throat. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I just couldn't – I didn't want to deal with it because it terrified me. But, the thought of losing you terrifies me more. I know that now." She paused to swallow the lump of emotion enough to allow her voice box to function properly, relieved that he hadn't pulled away though the pain in his eyes was riveted to hers, waiting for her to continue. So, continue she did.
"You mean… everything to me, Rick. You made me learn how to live again. And I realized today, when I thought you could be dead, that I don't want to know what my life would be like without you in it. You told me to tell you I needed you. Well, I need you, Castle. And I… I love you."
Toying with his lapel like she'd done at the bank, she clenched her fist and pulled her body flush against his. She felt his immediate reaction and could almost identify the exact moment that his heart twisted painfully in his chest. Because hers had done the same. "Please forgive me for lying to you?"
Her whispered request broke his hastily-built defenses, and he drew her into a light embrace. "I can't stay mad at you, Kate."
She smiled as relief swept through her, the motion causing her lips to touch his throat. Inhaling raggedly, he splayed his hands across her back and nudged her face upward with his nose and chin. "Especially not when you go and say that you love me back."
Looking back on that evening, Kate would later realize she fell in love with him all over again on that New York City sidewalk. In that moment, however, his lips were on hers in a delicate caress and all coherent thought flew from her mind like a cloud evaporating in the sun. Her hand stole away from his chest to cup the back of his neck, then his jaw, before coming to rest in his hair, pressing him more solidly into the kiss as her mouth opened to his gentle proddings. The world faded away, the only reality the one surrounding the brick wall and the occupants it was holding upright.
When the need for oxygen outweighed the heady bliss of intimacy, Rick pulled away and let his eyes caress her face in wonder. "I need you too, Kate." Trailing his quivering knuckles down her cheek, he sucked in a sharp breath as her lips moistened them in passing. "Kate," he groaned. "I love you."
He shifted so his body was pressing against hers, his weight cradling her against the cool bricks. She rasped out a moan, which turned even more desperate when his lips grazed her ear. "Castle…"
His assault not abating, Kate decided turnabout was fair play. "I can think of other ways I need you right now," she purred against his ear. As he moved his hips closer than she thought was decent on a public sidewalk (though she wasn't stopping him), she chuckled throatily and arched up to meet him. "I can see you're already way ahead of me."
"Well… Trapper John did say you have a bedroom voice."
They fled the scene before they got themselves arrested, heading for Kate's apartment on an unspoken command. As he hovered over her a short time later, her hair cascading across her own pillows, he bent his head to drag his lips across her collarbone.
"Tell me you need me," he growled softly, nipping at the pulse beating beneath his kisses.
Her voice hoarse with desire, she complied. "I need you. Now."
It was the last rational thing either of them said for a very long while.
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