I was venturing into town in my jeans and sweater so as not to suspect the muggels, I did a double take and spun as around moonwalk into the local spar (Great price, and Great taste) and choretled to myself "too littlet too late" I walked inside and grabbed the nearest packet of oats and sausage. I proceeded to wait in line when I noticed that the lady in front of me was carrying a mysterious bag. My curiosity was overwhelming. So out of pure survivors guilt, I karate chopped the bag onto the floor, screaming PAAAAA WINNNG in a racist Chinese accent. It turned out to just be some Victoria Secrets with a fresh gherkins. I instantly felt bad. So, with a pit in my stomach, I judo flipped her. O sodo gari. My favorite. She was on the ground now, moaning. This disturbed me greatly, so I jabbed her in the eye with my nail and stole her gherkins.
"Punk" I muttered as I ran outside
This all happened...
Because I am Harry Potter
I was walking back home. Why I didn't apperate? There was a creepy 85 year old man following me, red Fluffy coat and all. His mustache was waving around in the wind in a seductive way. It kind of turning me on. I stopped in my tracks. The man let out a sexy laugh that sounded like a bell tinkling in the wind. He went up to me, stroking my face. I knew that he wanted it. He knew that I wanted it..
"Come with me... " I whispered as I hugged him.
We appeared in my secret pleasure room...
Authors Notes:
Hi. I'm Njdl writer of this fanfic. First of all, THIS IS A JOKE. Please don't report me. Secondly, if you did enjoy it, keep up to date because part 2 will be out shortly... Bye!