I'll Do it for You
Authors Note: Kinda a sad oneshot. I'm thinking of adding more to make it a two-shot, but it wouldn't really change the outcome any, so I probably won't. The main point of this was actually to practice putting in more details and description into my stories instead of all dialogue. Also for anyone still waiting for the sequel of 'Playing Pretend Just Got a Lot Gayer' it's coming... Just not soon. College is leaving me pretty busy, but I'm hoping to have the first chapter out by January, reason being I can work on it over winter break. Anyway, hope you guys like this!
Cody doesn't know if he should do it. More than that he doesn't know if he can do it. He's scared, he's nervous, he thinks that he's going to throw-up. He was so sure not to long ago and now he doesn't know what he should do. He's a mess, he's freaking out, he's going to lose it-
"Dude, Cody! Calm down man, it's all gonna work out fine." Trent says interrupting Cody's almost panic attack and placing a firm hand on his shoulder.
Cody, Trent, and Owen are all in one small room. The room is red and has no windows, the door is a deep brown, Cody guesses mahogany, but Cody doesn't know anything about types of wood. The room also has a ceiling fan and the room is being lit up by the lights on said fan. However the only thing in the room that Cody cares about is the mirror.
It's a full length mirror, but other than that it's nothing special. If Cody wasn't wearing a suit he probably wouldn't care about the mirror. Actually it's less about the mirror and more about his reflection. The reflection is making things all to real, and yet he can't look away.
The black suit contrasts well with his pale skin, or at least that's what Sierra told him when he tried it on for her. She also told him that it made him look dashing and distinguished, but when he looks in the mirror that's not what he sees. He sees a little boy trying to play dress up in his fathers suit. He sees a boy who looks sick and scared.
"I don't know if I can do this. What if it's the wrong choice? Maybe I shouldn't-"
"Cody, you're doing the right thing. You love her." Trent tries to reassure Cody, he really does, but the doubt is still there and it's painfully obvious, not to mention Cody looks as though he will pass out at any given moment.
Trent backs closer to the door to stand by Owen before hissing angrily in his ear, "Where the fuck is Noah?"
Noah's outside leaning against the brick wall of the building, cigarette in hand. Noah doesn't smoke; he never has. However, when he stopped for gas this morning he felt like it was the perfect time to start.
Duncan walks out of the heavy wooden doors and slowly walks up beside Noah, matching his stance as he to leans against the wall. Duncan takes a cigarette from the exposed pack sticking out of Noah's pocket and lights it with a lighter from his own pocket.
"I didn't know you smoked." Duncan says after he's taken a few puffs of his cigarette.
"It's never to early to develop lung cancer." Noah replies as he takes a puff of his cigarette.
Noah doesn't cough like many new smokers do, he seems totally at ease as he inhales the smoke, only to release it a few seconds later. He's putting a lot of effort into smoking his cigarette the correct way, not because he cares, but because he'd rather focus on anything, but what he came here to do.
"You're gonna smell like smoke." Duncan points out easily.
Noah simply shrugs as he attempts to tune out Duncan. He knows why Duncan's here, he just doesn't want to talk about it.
"He's gonna notice." Duncan tries.
"Probably." Noah says before lifting his cigarette up to his lips and inhaling deeply. He almost coughs, but instead sends the smoke out his nose.
"You can't do this to him." Duncan says and they both know he's not talking about smoking.
"I'm not doing anything to him." Noah says trying, and failing, to keep the bitter tone out of his voice.
"He needs you in there." Duncan says firmly, his cigarette falling to the ground forgotten. Duncan has stepped away from the wall and is facing Noah's side, but Noah hasn't moved an inch.
"If he needs me to go through with this, then maybe he shouldn't be doing it."
Duncan lets out a short laugh. "Is that really how you're going to justify yourself? By saying if he can't do it without you then she isn't right for him?"
Noah doesn't look up at Duncan, Duncan doesn't need him to. Noah knows that, just like he knows that he doesn't want to hear anymore of what Duncan has to say, but he still doesn't move.
"You know damn well that if you walked in there and told him you loved him that he'd leave with you; you fucking know he would. But you can't do that because you know she's right for him. You know he loves her. And you know that even if he left with you he'd never love you the way you love him; he'd kiss you with his eyes slammed shut because he wouldn't want to face reality. He's straight, but he'd run away with you, so why won't you go in and stand by him on the most important day of his life?"
Noah looks up bitterly at Duncan before moving to face him and letting his cigarette fall the ground. Duncan can tell that Noah's holding back tears, but for once he doesn't egg him on. Noah takes a deep breath before he speaks, trying to keep his voice level.
"Because this is the hardest day in my life and it's taking everything I have not to tell him to leave with me, even though I know he'll never love me the way I want him to."
Duncan sighs before turning away from Noah for a second to collect himself. He knows Noah's waiting on him to speak, but this is just as hard for Duncan to talk about as it is for Noah. When he finally turns back around his eyes connect with Noah's for a split second before he lowers them from his gaze.
"When Gwen left me for Trent I thought I was going to die. Sitting through their wedding was like sitting through hell, but I did it. I did it because when she looked at him- I just had to. They belonged together and I knew it wasn't fair to make her feel bad on the happiest day of her life because I felt like crap." Duncan stopped his story and locked eyes with Noah again.
Both of them knew that wasn't the end of the story; both knew it got worse for Duncan. Duncan's eyes were tearing up in front of Noah's and Noah didn't want to look at him in fear that Duncan's tears would bring out his own, but just the same Noah's eyes stayed locked with Duncan's.
"And now I know Courtney's the one I really love, and I know I'll die without her. Her wedding's next month Noah, and she's not changing her mind about it. I'm telling you that you have to be here, because I need you to make me go to hers. Because even though it's killing me I have to fucking be there for her… Just like you have to be here for Cody."
Noah sighs and stomps the cigarette that he had previously left on the ground before looking up at Duncan.
"You can still get her back." But they both know Noah's only saying it for arguments sake. Duncan smiles all the same before stepping out his cigarette.
Duncan's about to speak before the door to the church opens to reveal a stressed out Trent. Trent lets out a sigh of relief upon seeing Noah.
"Dude! Where have you been? Cody's freaking out!" Trent yells in an exasperated voice.
"Sorry," Noah says, his voice perfectly calm. "I was just taking care of a few things."
"Well take care of whatever you have to after the wedding!" Trent says before grabbing Noah's arm and dragging him into the chapel with Duncan walking in silently behind them.
Trent drags Noah toward the big brown doors that lead to Cody's room, while Duncan goes to claim his seat beside DJ.
When Trent and Noah make it to the doors Trent stops and turns to face Noah. "I won't lie he's pretty shaken up. I don't know-"
Noah doesn't let Trent finish. He simply rolls his eyes and opens the door to the room leaving a surprised Trent behind.
Noah walks up to Cody and turns Cody's body away from the mirror. Noah hears Trent walk in and he hears Owen's greeting of 'Hey Buddy', but he ignores them in favor of putting one finger over Cody's mouth before the boy could get a word out.
"You love her, you want to be with, and you're doing the right thing. You're old enough and responsible enough to handle this, and the suit looks great… Does that cover everything?" Noah says everything in a blunt fashion, and even he can't believe that his voice doesn't waver as he speaks.
Cody, who's close to tears, leaps at Noah and wraps his arms around Noah's neck and burrows his head into Noah's neck. Noah breathes in Cody's scent as he wraps his arms around Cody's waist.
"I love you man." Cody murmurs into Noah's neck.
"I love you too." Noah mumbles back.
Cody takes a deep breath before letting go of Noah and pulling away smiling. "Let's get this show on the road!" Cody yells enthusiastically as he ushers Trent and Owen out the door so that they can take their places at the alter. Noah is about to follow them, but Cody's hand on his shoulder stops him. Noah turns to see Cody's slightly nervous face.
"What?" Noah asks.
"Thanks for showing." Cody says honestly.
"I figured you'd need your best man here for support." Noah forces himself to smile at Cody, but he has no doubt that Cody can tell it's forced.
"Thank you." Cody says so quietly as he kisses Noah's cheek. Noah closes his eyes as Cody kisses his cheek willing the tears not to fall.
Noah knows all of the meanings behind his words. He knows that Cody knows how he feels about him. Thank you for not asking me to leave with you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for loving me even though I can't love you the way you need me too.
Cody's lips leave his cheek and Noah opens his eyes. "Let's get you married."
Cody nods and squeezes Noah's hand once before leading the way to the alter.
Noah doesn't cry when they exchange their vows. But he wants too.
Noah doesn't cry when they exchange rings. But he wants to.
Noah doesn't cry when they're pronounced man and wife. But God he wants too.
Noah holds himself together and it's not until he reaches his car in the parking lot that the first tear falls. He's about to let loose when he hears a knock on his windshield. He rolls down his window so that Duncan can speak to him.
"Don't cry yet; you still have to get through the reception." And even though Noah doesn't want to do anything but cry, he nods and rolls up the window and starts the car.
He wants to cry like he hasn't cried since he was a child, but instead he begins his way to the reception. Cody wants him there.